By: Doranz-, RandyMarsh2012, and BANDIT-V-HXC
All hands are on deck for this one, folks. Welcome to the 47th season of the Sony PlayStation Hockey League, and get ready for things to heat up in one of the hottest summers and most competitive seasons in recent memory.
Fresh off winning the Stanley Cup, LispDoge and the St. Louis Blues are back and ready to defend their crown, but they are up against a field of talented teams with experienced players and GMs who know what they are doing. This includes the boss himself in SA_Pliskin, veterans like ThaFoSix and NowYoDead, and wildcards like Fishhure, HaroldJones1990 and PEACEKEEPER500-. Oh, Chad is there too. Big talker, that guy.
Let’s see how everybody did in assembling a team with in a pretty deep draft. Our old friend RandyMarsh2012 will be grading the Eastern conference, while Doranz- and I (BANDIT-V-HXC, FKA Dirty-Dietrich, Media Correspondent Extraordinaire) will provide some insight on the West. We’ll look at projected lineups, give a grade, and share some thoughts. That’s enough preamble. Let’s get into it!
EASTERN CONFERENCE
Detroit Red Wings
Projected Starting Lineup:
LW: Crazyflame29
C: Jhursi
RW: Fishhure
LD: Hughsy28-
RD: IbraxxI
G: SgtVandoos (Bxrt67 is bad no shot he is #1)
Grade: A
This team is built strong from top to bottom, the chemistry that these guys have already established from getting drunk on facetime and playing some NHL will be one of the many reasons they are successful this season. Bxrt at G is sus tho, although the guy’s forehead is so big he’ll probably stop a few shots. They have the top d-pair in the league unless hughsy forgot how to play the position since he’s been hard on C most of this NHL.
Boston Bruins
Projected Starting Lineup:
LW: HaroldJones1990
C: Mxttyice97
RW: BejimoSzn
LD: Eggman—1
RD: kylej83
G: xChoo-_-
Grade: A-
These next 3 teams are a toss-up for me, they all are equally strong in their own ways.
I based this #2 choice on the d-core with eggman and kyle, 2nd best pairing in the league with an option to put jon turner on LD as well if they want to introduce Kakko into that top 6. Choo is one of the better goalies in the draft as well and when he gets hot he is real tough to beat. Bejimo will need to start dropping some bejiclapbombs as well as bejibombs to get this offence rolling.
Buffalo Sabres
Projected Starting Lineup:
LW: Semple19
C: xBeanZy-
RW: xLeRoyyy-
LD: ThaFoSix
RD: Ande91-
G: BoKnows88-
Grade: A-
I like how fosix built this team, he’s got 3 strong forwards with bean and semple leading the way with also having the option of putting ande on RW. But don’t sleep on LeRoyy, he played real well in the cup finals as an ECU and may become one of the better RWs in the league this season. With Boknows in nets you hardly even need defense, he will carry a heavy load for these guys when called upon. Fosix and Ande as a starting d-pair is solid enough to get these guys into playoffs.
Philadelphia Flyers
Projected Starting Lineup:
LW: heei–
C: BigLappy
RW: Smitzey
LD: NxtiveKarlssxn
RD: PEACEKEEPER500-
G: Ranchx41x/ Gunnnxrr
Grade: A-
Although I ranked these guys last it does not mean I think they’re a bottom feeder, I think all 4 east teams will be better than the 4 West teams. (Bandit note: thanks Randall. Appreciate the vote of confidence)
The forward line (assuming heei is heelhook and not some random) will be the strongest one in the East or very close to it. The D-pairing of peace and nxtive will be their weak point, both capable of playing solid D but are a lesser pair compared to Detroit and Boston. Gunnnxrr and Ranch are both real solid G options so no matter what these guys will have a more than competent goalie in nets.
WESTERN CONFERENCE
“RANKING BEST TOP 6s
(These are just predictions of the best lineup u can have mfs)” – Doranz-
Vegas Golden Knights
Projected Starting Lineup:
LW: uStooPiiD
C: Doranz-
RW: BANDIT-V-HXC
LD: JHochman
RD: xShxyne
G: chadkillz134
Grade: A
Chad might be quiet and 5 feet tall at the most, but he assembled a solid team. uStooPiiD and Doranz- form a highly formidable 1-2 punch on offense, while JHochman and xShxyne are a defensive duo that will compliment each other’s strengths. I’ll be around, just skating and screwing with the other teams. The depth that this team has is impressive as well, with Alpha-33x and curlew77 being stellar backup options on the right side, while Blade0Muffin and our old friend IceyAsyluml23l round out a goalie trio (perhaps duo if Chad decides he wants to play with the big boys) that will backstop Vegas to some wins.
St. Louis Blues
Projected Starting Lineup:
LW: KarlssonIsGod
C: RandyMarsh2012
RW: WeekendNachos19
LD: Gourr-
RD: LispDoge
G: Mooner2019
Grade: B+
What catches my eye right away is this forward line; RandyMarsh2012 is an excellent right winger who can drive offense, but his stats as a center leave something to be desired. KarlssonIsGod and WeekendNachos19 are dynamic wingers who will pair well with Randall, and this team is backstopped by a Norris-caliber defender in Gourr- and the reigning, cup defending GM in LispDoge. Mooner2019 has proven himself to be one of the best goalies in virtual hockey, and was a great little round 5 steal for STL. They’ve got iamsmokxy-_- as a backup forward and shock_r as a backup goalie, so this team has the potential to repeat if they don’t get toxic and implode on themselves.
Colorado Avalanche
Projected Starting Lineup:
LW: desiredsno3
C: Bxrt1_
RW: ChuckMTL-
LD: SA_Pliskin
RD: John_Dean_16
G: Morrow_2867
Grade: B (Bandit note: a bit generous, are we Pizzaboy?)
So, this will likely get me some flack, but the next two teams are going to be #7 and #8 in the league by the end of the season in their current states.
Coloardo has a strong right side, with Bxrt1_ and ChuckMTL- being a dangerous duo up front and ol’ reliable in John_Dean_16 on RD. Aside from that, their top 6 has a couple of question marks for me. desiredsno3 is not that starting LW that a team needs, and Plisk, I love ya, but you’re a wrecking ball at LD and can be a liability. Morrow_2867 is a solid G, but he was taken too early for being goalie only and there being too many solid wingers left on the board. EL_R_O_O_K_I_E, teamrun420, and ivanthygreat are serviceable backup options, but you guys got x2apollo4x. You’re carrying on the Colorado Curse!
I don’t write the rules, just the articles.
Calgary Flames
Projected Starting Lineup:
LW: Jcpens22
C: Shawnk0409
RW: Sniiiider
LD: nowyodead
RD: OGMastaLegend
G: Pc3poseidon
Grade: C+
Don’t go drinking on draft night, kiddos.
This ain’t it, Dead. Sniiiider and Jcpens22 were two great wingers to start with, so I had hope, but then it started to slowly crumble away. OGMastaLegend is a big question mark for me, as his stats in other leagues aren’t promising, and Shawnk0409 is a good forward but you need a solid C to contend. Goaltending on this squad is where the weakness really shows – your best option is Sportsgeek5, but drafted Pc3poseidon before him. I see xshepxrd stepping up and playing LD or C for this squad, but it’s going to be a tough task to try and contend and return to the glory that Dead brought Calgary a few summers ago.
Who knows – Doranz-, RandyMarsh2012, and I may be talking a whole lot of trash that we just can’t back up, but we’ve been around these leagues for a while. We’ve seen people come and go, promises be unfulfilled, and Cinderella stories be willed into existence. It’s a short season, and a small pool (even less teams than the CFL!), so let’s see how it all plays out. I’m sure there will be fireworks aplenty in the weeks that come as these eight teams try to etch their names in virtual hockey history!
Give Cuban1616 and friends a listen and check out the SPNHL Podcast. I don’t know what else to plug but whatever it is, go check it out. We’ll see you on the ice!
– Doranz-, RandyMarsh2012, and BANDIT-V-HXC