SPNHL Season 44: Weekly Review – “46% Burnt”
By: Dirty-Dietrich & randymarsh2012
Why, hello! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? How have you been? Good, I hope! I’ve had my fair share of developments over the past two years: I graduated from a university that elected to rename itself in the midst of a pandemic, I worked as a grocery store manager where I got yelled at by some crazy lady and got featured on BlogTO, and I started a new relationship with a partner that brought me further into the core of downtown Toronto where I got to see just how… unique this city really is. I haven’t gotten a chance to go to a Leafs game yet, but maybe I saved myself from disappointment.
Traditionally, this would be the halfway point of the season, but due to holidays, nationwide internet outages, and other obstacles, we find ourselves through exactly 46% of the season. Close enough one might say, but we’re all about semantics over here. We’ve seen blockbuster trades, GMs get fired, and much more that has all but become par for the course here in the SPNHL. Favourites have emerged, teams have fallen apart, and stars have emerged as we get closer to the trade deadline (which was so graciously pushed back by SA_Pliskin, thank you sir).
Everybody’s favourite media correspondent randymarsh2012 has agreed to let me write the weekly review with him! To avoid bias, and take a bit of the load off ourselves (save the jokes for the chat, you degenerates), we’ll be giving our review of each other’s conference. We’ll be looking at their strengths, weaknesses, MVPs, and some areas they need to address as the trade deadline looms. Some folks will be happy, some will be upset, but some should SHUTCHO DUMB ASS UP and make a media contribution; then you can complain.
Let’s start with the Eastern conference!
EASTERN CONFERENCE
1. Detroit Red Wings.
Overall Record: 15-4-2.
Weekly Record: 7-2-0 (W7).
Strength: Everything.
Weakness: Nothing.
MVP: Hxrdie, 43 goals and 78 points, leads the league in both categories.
Trade Bait: iZinczyi, Zercylol.
The Red Wings are an offensive and defensive powerhouse this season, having the 2nd most goals for in the league (104) and the least goals against (53). kyleJ83 and hypey- being the new d-pair for this top line of Hxrdie, iZinczyi, and zercylol with chadkillz134 now stepping back between the pipes and posting a 6-2 record with a 1.75GAA and 83.33%. These guys look to be the most well-rounded team in the whole league, and still are the favourites to win the cup. I put Zercylol and iZinczyi as trade bait because the trade they made earlier in the week has forced Hxrdie to C, which hasn’t proven to be a bad move, but they could upgrade on left wing and at centre by using those guys as trade bait since Zinczy has C refused. I could see chad making a move that would allow Hxrdie to go back to RW.
2. Toronto Maple Leafs
Overall Record: 14-4-3.
Weekly Record: 7-2-0 (W1).
Strength: Defense, Goaltending, Penalty Kill.
Weakness: Offense.
MVP: YoJonsn, 17 GP, 158 GV, 61 TK, 105 INT.
Trade Bait: KarlssonIsGod, Jcpens22.
The Leafs have proven to be one of the most solid defensive teams in the league with all but 2 of their players (forwards included) having positive GV:TK ratios with YoJonsn putting a Selke season together so far, being the most heavily played forward and having a +0.47 GV:TK ratio. Toronto’s goaltending has really been a positive factor with these guys as well; Bufford must’ve read the hot or not article and decided to do something about it. Sorokin’s numbers are slightly skewed since he was involved in a day loan trade with the Sharks where he had 2 losses. Dirty-Dietrich also has stepped up his game on defense, putting up a +9.56 GV:TK ratio followed by Monokuuu with a +8.25. Toronto made a shocking trade in the SP world last week by moving their most offensive forward BejimoSzn for Lilchapy (who was putting up average numbers in Edmonton), which was a bit of a headscratcher since offense was the one thing this team needed the most and battling hard for the #1 spot in the East with Detroit. KarlssonIsGod and Jcpens22 are two left wingers that I see Toronto moving before the deadline to possibly re-acquire a #1 scoring RW to complete a strong forward line for playoffs.
3. Washington Capitals
Overall Record: 10-11-0.
Weekly Record: 3-6-0 (L4).
Strength: Offense.
Weakness: Defense.
MVP: Semple19, 11GP, 26G, 44pts (tied for 4th in the league in goals).
Trade Bait: ProdigytoLegend, Semple19.
This Capitals team has had a rough week, posting 2 FF’s and 4 regulation losses through 7 games played. It appears this team is in dire need of a 1st line C or RW; forcing ProdigyToLegend to play C on this top line is not working out for them as well as it did to start the season. Also, ll-Dustin-II should be sticking to playing defense, where he was contributing much more to this squad. It’s tough to give a proper breakdown through these losses as no stats have been updated since Thursday’s games. I have Semple19 and Prodigy who are both primary LW’s as this team’s trade bait; if these guys want to continue to compete for a chance at a cup one of these guys will have to go for a top line centre or right wing.
4. Montreal Canadiens.
Overall Record: 10-11-0.
Weekly Record: 5-4-0 (W3).
Strength: Offense.
Weakness: Defense.
MVP: LeCupidon, 16GP, 20G, 52pts (4th in the league in points).
Trade Bait: Jhursi.
This Montreal Canadians team is slowly regrouping, and have moved from last to a tie for 3rd in the East. LeCupidon is leading this team’s offense with Reapz2313 right there behind him, putting the puck in the net with 31 goals on the season. The defense on this squad seem to rely heavily on Brazghostt when he is in net, as his numbers aren’t as great as they were last season, while his 3-7 record is a tough look. These guys need to get back to playing that style where they protect their star goaltender and capitalize on turnovers. I’m assuming some weak avail has also caused some trouble for these guys as well; Jhursi is someone they’d like to move since he has only 3GP for this team so far. They need a guy who will be there for 6 of 9 games each week.
5. Philadelphia Flyers.
Overall Record: 7-14-0.
Weekly Record: 0-9 (L9).
Strength: N/A.
Weakness: Everything.
MVP: Kidmoney (7GP, 3.0PPG)
Trade Bait: Wardo_05, Staleee-.
Where do I even start with these guys? They had a great night 2 weeks ago which put this team on the map, and then the wheels completely fell off this week. Going 0-6 with frustrations rising caused this team to make a trade to really shake things up, flipping Lxppy–, Hughsy28-, PickleTickler69, Druwyy, and Frody410 to the Sharks for WARDO-05, Staleee-, Nxbxr-, Ice_uck97, and FLINN_21-Xx21xX. I don’t see Wardo and Staleee saving this team, but they’re 2 guys who can play at an elite level and maybe get this team going back in the right direction with some good availability. I have Wardo and Staleee as trade bait on this team since both guys would be an asset to any team, and can get some great value back; Wardo’s 9.5M contract will be tough to move though.
WESTERN CONFERENCE
1. San Jose Sharks.
Overall Record: 18-3-0.
Weekly Record: 8-1-0 (W5).
Strength: Offense (109 goals for, 1st in the league).
Weakness: I got nothing here… pressure? Expectations?
MVP: Bartlett-67 (54 assists, leads the league, second in the league with 72 points).
Trade Bait: Philmorin.
The Sharks have been unstoppable out of the gate, and with the move Randall just made to acquire Hughsy28- and Lxppy- from Philadelphia, they became all but the favourite to emerge as the Western Conference champions. Lxppy- will slot nicely along Randall (second in the league in goals) and Bartlett-67. NoScxpe96 is having a Norris calibre season, and acquiring Hughsy will give San Jose one of the best defensive pairings in the league. Itsjustskillzz_ has made a seamless transition to net, and is undefeated in 9 starts this season with a .750 SV% and a 2.33 GAA. I listed Philmorin as trade bait here, as I think they could get a better backup for skillzz and could run Frody410 and Druwyy as a backup defensive pairing. However, the Sharks don’t need to change a thing right now; keep it up Randall!
2. Seattle Kraken.
Overall Record: 9-11-1.
Weekly Record: 6-2-1 (L1).
Strength: Depth (good players with good availability have helped Seattle’s resurgence).
Weakness: Defense (80 goals against, 3rd most in the league).
MVP: FreezeMothaSucka (leads the Kraken with 16 goals and 22 assists in 14 games).
Trade Bait: Spelliscy_21.
Cockroaches! Despite numerous forfeits and nearly being written off at the beginning of the season, Seattle has emerged as this season’s Cinderella story. Iearntofly had a lot of people shaking their heads when Teamrun420 and NowYoDead were the first players selected to the Kraken, but they have formed a reliable pairing for the team as a defensive-offensive combination. They have been solid in front of Blade0Muffin, who has a GAA that’s just over 4, but has faced 60 more shots than any other goaltender in the league. Meanwhile, FreezeMothaSucka is Seattle’s driving offensive force, and could lead a great line with Fly and Gamertagrequird (who would probably hunt me down if I drafted him just to trade him again). Gamer/Minor seems to have found instant chemistry with that line, which makes Spelliscy_21 expendable. With a 2.3 GAA, he could be moved for another defender to help out NYD and Teamrun, and give Seattle some depth for a playoff run.
3. Edmonton Oilers.
Overall Record: 10-9-2.
Weekly Record: 4-5-0 (W1).
Strength: Defense (63 goals against, 4th in the league).
Weakness: Availability (XxGrahame_47xX leads the team with 15 GP).
MVP: xBeanZy- (leads the Oilers with 11 goals and 21 assists in 10 GP).
Trade Bait: Sniiiider.
Another team that was favoured from the onset of the season, Edmonton has somewhat failed to live up to expectations; now, this may be due summer vacations or commitments to other leagues, but if more of this team’s starting 6 were around, they would not have anything remotely close to 9 losses. We see how proflic uStooPiiD and SomeoneStopMePls are as defenders (both scoring over 1.5 PPG in 6 GP), but Coffey-lidstrom is their most employed defender, who is at -6. Beanzy can play LW more consistently with Ande91-, a great two-way centre, and their goal scoring will improve with the acquisition of speedster BejimoSzn from Toronto (I’ll miss you, Bej!). This will solidfy their starting 6 with a fantastic right wing, which now makes Sniiiider, who has 10 goals in 6 games, expendable. Maybe the Oilers can use him to acquire a backup G option for XxGrahame_47xX, who has performed well this season with a 3 GAA but could use a bit of a break between the pipes. Nonetheless, expect the Oilers to be one of the better teams in the league over the next 2 weeks.
4. Vegas Golden Knights.
Overall Record: 6-13-2.
Weekly Record: 3-6-0 (L1).
Strength: Balls? Resilience? It takes some major cajones to pull off a trade like that.
Weakness: Offense (47 goals for, the least in the league).
MVP: John_Dean_16 (13 goals and 5 assists in 9 games).
Trade Bait: xNitro_96-.
So, the Golden Knights have had an interesting season; their original GM got fired and Shock_r took over. Then, their superstars in iZinczyi and zercylol demanded a trade and got it, being sent to Detroit for Bk_0994, twns_Pepsi, Mrlolchico13, and FatSilhouette (the former ended up quitting). However, despite the overhaul, the team doubled their season’s win total this past week. While Vegas looks weak statistically, they have some solid pieces and could make a formidable line: ThaFoSix has been putting in work for them at D, with 14 games played and a whopping 89 hits, and could benefit from being paired with vVxsion more. Meanwhile, John_Dean_16 could slot in at right wing on a formidable line with Pepsi which would be anchored by Sauc—y. With a backup option in FatSilhouette, that makes xNitro_96- expendable and could easily be moved for another defender. With that line playing in front of Mrlolchico13, Vegas could contend with the upcoming team for the final playoff spot, or could see more players quit and doom this team.
5. Colorado Avalanche.
Overall Record: 6-13-2.
Weekly Record: 1-6-2 (L3).
Strength: Versatility (I could come up with about 3 different starting 6 options for this team).
Weakness: Specialty Teams (55.3% penalty kill (lowest in the league) and 19.5% powerplay (3rd lowest in the league).
MVP: SelkeTommygoat (15 goals and 14 assists in 13 games played, leads the team in all).
Trade Bait: robobeanaz.
What happened here? Colorado had all the pieces they needed to be a highly competitive team from the start of the season, but it seems like things have fallen apart. I blame Pete, the old curmudgeon, who does have the most games played at D, and has 9 points in those 7 games played. If cpenn4204 played more, they would be a formidable puck moving duo. Meanwhile, SelkeTommygoat has been the star for the low scoring Avalanche, while Benji_Frank_100 has been reliable in his limited time at forward. If SA_Pliskin stepped out of the net and let FxtDino- and FlamingMentos handle goaltending duties, he could play LD, move Petey up to wing with Tommy and Benji, and they could ship out robobeanaz; his 2 points per game on an offensively challenged club could raise his stock and earn a helpful return. It’s not too late for the Avalanche, and if they make the playoffs, they could have a deep run.
We’re just under halfway through the season, and there is still plenty of time for the standings to change, teams to be overhauled, and more shenanigans to occur. Teams are starting to find their footing in regards to chemistry, and if the availability improves, we’ll see a return to the contentious nature we saw at the beginning of the season, where it seemed like teams were the most balanced they’ve been in years. However, if we’ve learned anything from the great sedinpower dynasties of the past, all that matters is making it into the playoffs.
A big thank you to randymarsh2012 for taking care of the Eastern conference and giving his thoughtful and insightful analysis on the five teams we got over there. I’m not sure what he said, I’m writing this outro before he even sends me his part so if he said anything bad about the Leafs or my offensive performance this season, you’re right but get bent, Randall. Anyways, make sure to tune into The SPNHL Podcast hosted by Cuban1616 (hopefully he does more than just reread the article this week), and give Hxrdie-’s piece a read!
Good luck to everybody this upcoming week!
SPNHL Media Correspondents Extraordinaire,
Dirty-Dietrich & randymarsh2012