Tag: Weekly Review

SPNHL Season 44: Week Five Review/Power Rankings – “Everything Falls Apart”

By: Dirty-Dietrich & randymarsh2012

I moved this past weekend and, oh my goodness, I vehemently recommend never moving in the summertime. Down on the loading dock in the new place, it felt like I was on the Sahara; fortunately, there were about eight of us so we were out of there in under an hour. While my buddy and I were waiting for the U-Haul truck, somebody posited the idea of moving during the winter, and I couldn’t help but shudder at the thought of my nice clothes and furniture being covered in slush. Yikes!

6 games remain in a highly competitive season of the SPNHL, and the playoff picture is starting to come together like an overpriced puzzle; teams are making late pushes to gain home-ice advantage for the playoffs, while some teams are looking to scrap their way into a playoff spot in the highly competitive Western conference. Detroit and San Jose have remained stalwarts all season, while Edmonton and Washington are starting to gain momentum at the perfect time. Meanwhile, Vegas, Seattle, and Colorado are only separated by five points as they fight for the final two spots in the West, while Toronto and Montreal are looking to fix their problems in time for the quest for the Stanley Cup. Better luck next season, Philadelphia!

Call me Jakey Lahey as I’m practically joined at the hip with Randy these days (I could be Gerald Broflovski or Sharon Marsh and keep with the South Park theme, but I like Trailer Park Boys more), and we’ll keep with the same formula! Randall will cover the Eastern conference, and I’ll take care of the West. We’ll recap overall and weekly performances, analyze strengths and weaknesses, and highlight team’s most valuable players and unsung heroes (since Hxrdie refuses to do it, gutless bastard).

I’m getting off topic. Let’s start with the Eastern conference!

EASTERN CONFERENCE

  1. Detroit Red Wings.

Last Week Rank: 1.

Overall Record: 27-9-3.

Weekly Record: 6-3-0.

Strength: Offense.

Weakness: Chad’s party presence.

MVP: KyleJ83, leads defense in scoring.

Unsung Hero: xquizT-kys, 14GP, 13pts, +25 on defense.

A slight off week for the Wings; their availability wasn’t too hot as they had to use some TC/ECU players in 2 of 3 nights. Not enough to drop them out of the number 1 spot though. They beat the Sharks for the first time this season in a nice comeback W, being down 4-2 and managing to win 5-4 with 10 seconds left in the game. They did have a disappointing loss to Seattle, a team they typically wouldn’t lose to.

KyleJ gets the MVP of the team this week, being a top defender for this team and leading the league in points for defense, this team would be only half as good without him back there on RD. Quiztky has had a nice quiet solid season for the wings and played a lot for them this week, he signed up as RW but played majority of his games this season on D and doing it well. Quiz deserves a nice pat on the back for filling the necessary holes for this Red Wings team when called upon and being successful. This Red Wings team needs 5pts in the last 6 games to clinch the top spot in the East, If Washington wins their last 6 games of the season.

  1. Washington Capitals

Last Week Rank: 3.

Overall Record: 24-14-1.

Weekly Record: 7-1-1.

Strength: Offense.

Weakness: Goaltending.

MVP: Wardo_05, 4.2ppg on forward, 2.0ppg on Defense.

Unsung Hero: Dustin, 10GP on forward, 10GP on defense.

The Capitals move up to the 2nd spot in the power rankings this week after going 7-1-1 (with one of those losses being an FFL) and overtaking Toronto for 2nd spot in the East as well by 2pts. This Capitals team came out of the gate late, but are storming their way up to the top and showing they are a force to be reckoned with. In the past 3 weeks (excluding FF games) they are averaging a 5.47 goals per game which is at the same pace as the other top teams in the league.

They still need to work on their defense and goaltending though, all 3 of Washingtons main goalies are averaging a 71.39SV% with the best goalie having a 73.53SV%. If they can start to shut down other teams’ offense and get some more saves these guys will be a serious threat in the playoffs. Having Dustin and Wardo both as versatile players on both F and D seem to have improved this teams success.

  1. Toronto Maple Leafs

Last Week Rank: 2.

Overall Record: 22-14-3

Weekly Record: 3-6-0.

Strength: PK.

Weakness: Offense.

MVP: Uberpwned6969 14GP, 14pts.

Unsung Hero: Monokuuu, 21GP, +6.52 GV:TK.

Terrible week for the Leafs as they drop down to 3rd in the East and lose 6 of 9 games. Availability looks to be the main contributor to the lack of success as Sorokin only played 5 games in nets this week and Bufford didn’t play 1 game between the pipes. This team’s success was driven by being able to protect their goalies and keep games close enough so that the offense only needed 3-4 goals to win, unfortunately none of those things seemed to come together for these guys this week. Good news for this team is that they won’t fall past 3rd in the standings since Montreal is too far back, but they have to start getting playoff ready now if they want to be able to compete with Washington or Detroit.

Uberpwned gets the MVP this week, contributing to this squads offense while still trying to support the goaltending. Unsung hero is Monokuuu, who has been a solid stay at home dman for these guys all season and limiting his turnovers.

  1. Montreal Canadiens.

Last Week Rank: 4.

Overall Record: 17-22-0.

Weekly Record: 5-4-0.

Strength: Offense.

Weakness: Defense, PK.

MVP: BrazGhostt 19GP, 76.92SV%.

Unsung Hero: ChiefTrout 13GP, 10pts on D.

These Canadiens grabbed 3 FFW’s this week which means they actually went 2-4-0. Their availability has been all over the place, but they still are lacking on the defensive side of the puck. If Philadelphia didn’t crumble after week 2 I don’t know if these guys would be sitting in a playoff spot or not. Brazghostt is facing 15+ shots a game and keeping these guys close every time he is in nets, he needs more support and for the defense to keep chances to the outside and not in the middle or across the crease.

ChiefTrout is another player who signed up to play forward but has been asked to play D for this squad more often than not. He’s been doing solid and only is a -2 on a losing squad.

  1. Philadelphia Flyers

Last Week Rank: 5

Overall Record: 8-31-0

Weekly Record: 0-9-0.

Strength: Getting the jump on golf season.

Weakness: FF, FF, FF.

MVP: El Rookie, for continuing to not have a quitting attitude as well as being their best player.

Unsung Hero: Blackfire 4GP, 8pts.

This team played 1 game this week against Edmonton and lost 9-6. The last game they played was against Edmonton as well and lost 9-0. Maybe try showing up against another team other than Edmonton? Might have better luck grabbing a W. This is the week for these guys to potentially play the upset card, would love to see it happen.

El_rookie is still involved trying to get the games played but isn’t having much luck, hats off to Blackfire as well for showing up even though it ends up being an FF anyways.

WESTERN CONFERENCE

1. San Jose Sharks.

Last Week’s Ranking: 1.

Overall Record: 35-4-0.

Weekly Record: 8-1-0.

Strength: Offense (196 goals, most in the league).

Weakness: I got nothing; pressure to tie the record for most wins in 45 games?

MVP: Bartlett-67 (leads league in games played at forward with 36 and assists with 88).

Unsung Hero: Philmorin (9 games in net with 8 wins, and 12 games at D with a +27 rating).

It’s going to be incredibly difficult to contend with these Sharks as they are on a roll into the playoffs; with 1 loss in their past 2 weeks, San Jose remains the team to beat due to their nuclear firepower from all positions on the ice. NoScxpe96 and Hughsy28- are two tremendously talented defenders, with the former continuing his Norris caliber season with 37 points (2nd most at the position). mrlolchico13 has filled the void in net left by skillz, and is undefeated with his new team while possessing a 0.833 SV% and a sub-2 GAA. John_Dean_16 has slotted in perfectly between Randymarsh2012 (second in the goal scoring race with 65) and Bartlett-67, as he has a 4 PPG with an impressive 53.33% faceoff win percentage.

Shoutout to Philmorin, as he has been with the Sharks all season long and has been a consistent producer on defense and reliable in net. You don’t stay on the best team in the league if you aren’t a good hand to have around, and this team has plenty of good hands that will guide them to a deep playoff run.

2. Edmonton Oilers.

Last Week’s Ranking: 2.

Overall Record: 24-12-3.

Weekly Record:  8-1-0.

Strength: Offense (158 goals for, third most in the league).

Weakness: Penalty Kill (74.5%, fourth lowest in the league).

MVP: xBeanZy- (78 points in 22 games played, and leads the team with a +57 rating).

Unsung Hero: Ande91- (2 PPG in 16 games at forward, 1.3 PPG in 13 games at D).

This is the team we have been waiting for all season; despite one blemish on their record, the Oilers had a perfect week as we start to see the team become more available. Semple19’s arrival has solidified the forward core, and has 29 goals in 13 games played for Edmonton, while leading the team with 3.8 PPG. SomeoneStopMePls and uStooPiiD’s offensive production at defense continues to be among the league’s best, with both players in the top 8 for PPG at defense, while Coffey-lidstrom remains a reliable hand. With Sniiiider and BejimoSzn as RW options for xBeanZy- and Semple, Edmonton can roll any line they want and dominate these playoffs.

Along with XxGrahame_47xX, Ande91- has been a crucial part of the Oilers squad all season, living up to his reputation as one of the league’s best two way players. Playing in all but 10 of their games, Ande has excelled and kept Edmonton in contention through tough times; now, he will be a part of a loaded Oilers squad looking to win the Stanley Cup.

3. Colorado Avalanche.

Last Week’s Ranking: 5.

Overall Record: 11-22-6.

Weekly Record: 3-3-3.

Strength: Scrappiness (6 overtime losses; this team knows how to work).

Weakness: Defense (154 goals against, most in the league).

MVP: cpenn4204 (38 points in 16 games played, leads the team with 22 goals).

Unsung Hero: Beeper_tha_1st_a (14 games played at D, another Colorado lifer).

Many questioned SA_Pliskin’s decision to bring zercylol and iZincyi into the fold in Colorado, sending off two talented and reliable players in Tommy and Benji for them. However, their arrival has helped rejuvenate the Avalanche, who jumped into a playoff spot after a respectable week. The two have combined for 19 goals and 38 points since their arrival, and have become stellar linemates for cpenn4204, forming an effective scoring trio. With their offense solidified, the Avalanche need to close the revolving door of defenders and goaltenders and settle on permanent pairings; Pliskin could stick between the pipes and make a reliable tandem with FxtDino-, meanwhile he could leave defensive duties in the hands of Gooberdude99 and Beeper_tha_1st_a .

Beeper has been there from the start and has the most points per game of any active Avalanche defender; he’s also one to keep your head up for when you’re on the ice, as he has racked up 102 hits in 14 games played at D. This scrappiness and tenacity at defense could give Colorado the spark they need to hold onto their spot in a tight playoff race.

4. Seattle Kraken.

Last Week’s Ranking: 4.

Overall Record: 15-22-2.

Weekly Record: 3-6-0.

Strength: Penalty Kill (77.4%, third highest in the league).

Weakness: Powerplay (19.7% conversion, third lowest in the league).

MVP: Blade0Muffin (430 shots against in 28 games played, averaging 15 shots against and still has under 4 GAA).

Unsung Hero: NowYoDead (26 games played, 28 points, and justifying his first round selection).

These guys beat us twice last week; don’t let their record fool you, this is a good team (either that or we suck, a highly probable option) that just had an off week. They still have a reliable defense pairing in NowYoDead and Teamrun420, and with an alternate of Damorien, they can hold their ground in front of Blade0Muffin, who is making a late run for a Vezina nomination (just look at the stats above and talk to ProdigyToLegend). Meanwhile, Spelliscy_21 and iearntofly continue to be reliable support to FreezeMothaSucka; his 31 games played lead the team and his 72 points have surpassed everyone’s expectations while keeping the Kraken competitive.

NowYoDead drew a lot of heat when he was selected at the end of the first round this season, but has quietly had a great season at the blue line and has emerged as one of the more underrated defenders in the league. Seattle has a point over Vegas in a tight playoff race, and are determined to keep that spot.

5. Vegas Golden Knights.

Last Week’s Ranking: 3.

Overall Record: 12-24-3.

Weekly Record: 2-7-0.

Strength: Optimism and Proximity (they’re still in the thick of it and fighting for a playoff spot).

Weakness: Defense (152 goals against, second highest in the league).

MVP: Shock_r (30 games played since taking over as GM; 17 in net, 7 at forward, and 6 at defense).

Unsung Hero: ThaFoSix (172 hits in 25 games for the Knights; the ol’ heart and soul!).

The Golden Knights had a disastrous week, going 2-7 and falling out of their playoff spot; fortunately, as noted above, they’re only one point back and have the talent to rebound quickly. Shock_r is a reliable, fringe starting goaltender (he can be shaky at times, I played with him for two months and still have nightmares) and having acquired Wheelchairdevon8 for goaltending help gives him a solid option for when he needs a night off. Defensively, ThaFoSix still carries the Vegas flag, and with partners in vVxsion and xshepxrd (another criminally underrated defender), they can hold their own and help claw back into a playoff spot. Offensively, it seems like MazelTovMalkin and Sauc—y will be the parts that complete the Knights’ top line with FatSolhouette, who leads the team with a lowly 15 points.

Hopefully their offense can pick things up this week, and maybe control the puck a bit more to take the pressure off a defensive and goaltending core that have underachieved this season. In the meantime, give ThaFoSix the captaincy and let him rally the troops as they fight Seattle for that last spot. 

Yeah, this article is a few days late, but I’ve been busy and moving and such. GET OVER IT. Nonetheless, with 6 games left in the season, the East is all but decided but the 3rd and 4th spot in the West is still anybody’s game; will the Avalanche continue to do damage as they climb the standings? Will the Kraken stop their slide and hold onto the fourth playoff spot in the conference? Will the Golden Knights rebound and secure the final playoff spot? Meanwhile, Detroit and Montreal are preparing for their series as Reapz and chadkillz meet in the first round of the playoffs for the second season in a row, and the Leafs and Capitals are preparing for what should (hopefully) be the most competitive series of the first round.

Randall, you’ve outdone yourself again with the “unsung heroes” concept, which Hxrdie said he was going to do but dropped the ball on (too busy leading the league in points, I guess). A big thank you to him for his coverage of the Eastern conference, and as always, a special shoutout to him, cuban1616, and Pliskin for their job on the SPNHL Podcast, available every Monday wherever you get your podcasts.

If you like the intro music, it’s “Bulls on Parade” by Rage Against the Machine. You should go listen to all 4 of their excellent studio albums. 

Good luck to everybody this week, we’ll see you on the ice!

SPNHL Media Correspondents Extraordinaire,

Dirty-Dietrich & randymarsh2012

SPNHL Season 44: Weekly Review/Power Rankings – “The Cycle of Life”

By: Dirty-Dietrich & randymarsh2012

 So, I’m a few weeks late on this news, but skate. (the fourth installment of the franchise) is going free-to-play? Now, Electronic Arts has successfully launched and supported a few FTP franchises over the past few years, but taking one of their most demanded titles and (reportedly) removing the story mode, one of the features that made people fall in love with the game, and focusing exclusively on online play and collaboration may alienate long time fans of the franchise who begged and pleaded with the game titan to reboot the series. Either that, or it will make them truckloads of money.

So, the trade deadline has passed and we are officially on the way to the SPNHL playoffs! 10 teams have finalized their rosters and are now all in (well, most of them) on making a deep push towards the Stanley Cup. While there were some debatably lopsided deals that occurred over the past week, change was afoot in the league: contenders got stronger, basement dwellers had fire sales, and needs were assessed and addressed. Players packed their bags and filled them with gear, clothes, and aspirations for championship glory.

Considering how well it went last week, my dear friend Randall and I are going to recap the week that was in the SPNHL. We’ll be looking at how teams performed this past week, their overall record on the season, their strengths and weaknesses, their most valuable players (c’mon, Hardie, do the unsung heroes article!), and their key acquisitions at the deadline. Will these reviews drum up some controversy? Perhaps. Are we using these reviews to scout our opponents? Absolutely. Are you ready for some football? Sorry, wrong character.

We’ll be starting with the Eastern conference. Take it away, Randy!

EASTERN CONFERENCE

  1. Detroit Red Wings.

Last Week’s Rank: 1.

Overall Record: 21-6-3.

Weekly Record: 7-1-1 (W3).

Strength: Even Strength hockey.

Weakness: Special Teams.

MVP: Hxrdie, leads league in scoring by 16pts and a huge +76.

Trade Deadline Acquisitions: SelkeTommyGoat, Benji_Frank, SgtVandoos, Ice_uck.

This Detroit team keeps putting up W’s, putting up big scores, and is excelling at even strength hockey this season; the majority of the best +/- players in the league are Red Wing players. Their weakness seems to be on the PP (ranked 5th) and PK (ranked 7th); they need to start capitalizing on more of their PP opportunities, kill off some more of those penalties, and get those special teams back into the top 3 in the league. 

Detroit ended up moving their trade bait (Zinczy and Zercy) to Colorado for top C Tommyboii and a strong LD in Benji Frank. This move made sense for both teams considering their predicaments and having Tommy at C should help with the teams PK and PP issues. Expect this team to finish the season on top in the East with a likely matchup against Montreal in the first round.

  1. Toronto Maple Leafs.

Last Week Rank: 2.

Overall Record: 19-8-3.

Weekly Record: 5-4-0 (L1).

Strength: Defense and PK.

Weakness: Offense.

MVP: YoJonsn, leads team in points, games played, best 2-way player.

Trade Deadline Acquisitions: Staleee.

This Leafs team had an up and down week, going 5-4 and losing some games they should have won with 2 losses to Vegas and 1 loss to Seattle. They are still hanging on to the 2nd spot in the East with solid goaltending and solid defense, but they need their forwards to start clicking a bit better; they’re only averaging 2.97 goals per game while the other top teams are averaging 5.26. 

The Leafs can’t count on winning with that low of scoring night in and night out; these forwards need to go off this week upfront now that the deadline has passed, they have 15 games to get some chem. I wouldn’t change a thing about their defensive play though, these Leafs get the job done in their own end.

  1. Washington Capitals.

Last Week Rank: 3.

Overall Record: 17-13-0.

Weekly Record: 7-2-0 (L2).

Strength: Offense.

Weakness: Defense.

MVP: Fluri37, leads team with 73pts.

Trade Deadline Acquisitions: Wardo, Druwyy, Kwhiss.

This Washington group went 7-0 to start the week, and then ended up losing the last 2 games of the week to San Jose and Detroit. This team has gotten much stronger by trading for Wardo which gives them a new top line option of Prod – Wardo – Fluri and having 4 solid defencemen in Eggman, Smokey, Druwyy and Dustin with some solid goaltending in goalieman.

These guys are shaping up to be able to complete a deep playoff run. If the availability is there, these guys could climb up and take the 2nd spot in the East from Toronto. This team is no slouch and should make for some very interesting games from now till playoffs.

  1. Montreal Canadiens.

Last Week Rank: 4.

Overall Record: 12-18-0.

Weekly Record: 2-7-0 (L2).

Strength: Offense.

Weakness: Defense, PK.

MVP: Reapz/Cupi, lead team in points.

Trade Deadline Acquisitions: Kidmoney, ImperialBlaze.

The Canadiens went 0-5 to start the week, went on to win the next 2 games, but then had 2 FF L’s at the end of the week to Vegas and Philly which were winnable games for them to try and salvage the week. I think with Philly locking in last place in the league, these guys are just looking to coast into playoffs anyways accepting their 4th place seed. Reapz is looking at the long game here and getting his team ready for playoffs. If we learned anything from the past few seasons with this Montreal team its that they like playing the upset card and they play it well, they took the Stanley cup runners up to 7 games last season and eliminated a cup favorite in 5 games the season before that. 

They just need to get this avail straightened out and it would be nice of Jhursi to finally show up for these guys for a game or two. Kidmoney was a solid trade for these guys though to help fill that current void jhursi has left. So we will see how this Habs team looks at playoff time. They still have the secret weapon of Braz in net; if they can figure out how to tighten up in their own end and protect him better these guys could easily start winning more games.

  1. Philadelphia Flyers.

Last Week Rank: 5.

Overall Record: 8-22-0.

Weekly Record: 1-8-0 (W1).

Strength: Grabbing a big FF win.

Weakness: Heart.

MVP: El Rookie, for not having a quitting attitude as well as being their best player.

Trade Deadline Acquisitions: Complexiti, Guesshoo1, EdgeXQ1, JChristie, RedRanger10, Blackfire1, PghFanatic (and probably more, too much to look through)

This team dating back to week 2 had some serious heart issues where majority of players

were not willing to grind out W’s for Cuban which forced the GM to make some serious trades. The trades ended up not working out as well turning this club into a firesale. El Rookie has been crucial in keeping this team from FFing the season and hats off to him for being a champ and a good sport about it all and playing his games.In other news the Flyers grabbed a FF win against Montreal in last game of the week to snap a 19-game losing streak.

WESTERN CONFERENCE

  1. San Jose Sharks.

Last Week Rank: 1.

Overall Record: 27-3-0.

Weekly Record: 9-0-0 (W14).

Strength: Offense (158 goals for, the most in the league).

Weakness: *file not found*.

MVP: Randymarsh2012 (4.4 PPG on offense in 20 GP, 2.1 PPG on defense in 7 GP).

Trade Deadline Acquisitions: John_Dean_16, Mrlolchico13.

These San Jose Sharks may go down as one of the greatest SPNHL teams of all time; they have assembled one of the dangerous forward lines in the league with the addition of John_Dean to Hughsy28- and Bartlett-67, who leads the league in assists with 74. Hughsy could switch with Randymarsh2012, who becomes one of this team’s greatest assets with production on offense and defense, and both players could pair well on the right side with Norris candidate NoScxpe96. Letting go of skillz to pick up Mrlolchico will either be a championship winning or championship losing move, in my opinion. Chico is a great goalie, but skillz was killing it for San Jose. Nontheless, don’t expect anything less than continued dominance from the Sharks.

  1. Edmonton Oilers.

Last Week Rank: 3.

Overall Record: 16-11-3.

Weekly Record: 6-2-1 (W2).

Strength: Offense (104 goals for, 4th most in the league)

Weakness: Penalty Kill (73%, 5th worst in the league).

MVP: XxGrahame_47xX (Just under a 3 GAA, he has a goal!?)

Trade Deadline Acquisitions: Semple19.

So, acquiring my good friend Semple19 gives this team a BANANAS roster, one that I have a difficult time constructing a top 6 out of because there are just too many options. Edmonton got 13 out of 18 points this past week, only losing one game in overtime while having to forfeit the other two. This team has a royal flush when it comes to forwards they could build a line out of: Ande91-, BejimoSzn, Semple19, Sniiiider, and the team’s leading scorer in xBeanzy- (16 goals and 30 assists in 14 games) could all be paired together and punish teams offensively. Meanwhile, uStooPiiD and SomeoneStopMePls are a dynamic offensive defender pairing who compliment this team’s electric offense (Coffey-lidstrom has been quite reliable for this team, but isn’t their nuclear option). Meanwhile, XxGrahame_47xX has been quietly making a case for himself in the Vezina race, winning 14 of his 22 games, a .754 SV%, and a goal! The Oilers came back with a vengeance this week, and look to continue their winning ways.

  1. Vegas Golden Knights.

Last Week Rank: 4.

Overall Record: 10-17-3.

Weekly Record: 4-4-1 (W3).

Strength: Defense & Goaltending Depth (shock, Devon, skillz, Vision, shepxrd, and thafosix are all reliable options).

Weakness: Offense & Powerplay (78 goals for, 3rd last in the league, and a league worst 15.1 powerplay conversion rate).

MVP: ThaFoSix (there from the start, 20 GP, 139 hits!).

Trade Deadline Acquisitions: wheelchairdevon8, Ferdaboiss69, Lxppy–, Itsjustskillzz_, and xshepxrd.

Once again, Vegas did a massive roster overhaul this week, acquiring all of the above mentioned names. Now, before Friday, the team had only gone 1-4-1 throughout the week, but they went undefeated to close out the week (and took care of us a few times). Shock_r continues to play fantasy hockey (well, I guess we all are) and shuffles his lineup on a weekly basis, but has built a solid goaltender rotation in himself, Wheelchairdevon8, and Itsjustskillzz_, the latter still a Vezina frontrunner. Meanwhile, getting xshepxrd probably brought a tear to ThaFoSix’s eyes, who finally got some more consistent defensive help aside from vVxsion. Ferdaboiss69 and Lxppy– were excellent over in San Jose, and will hopefully be able to give Sauc—y and the Golden Knights the offensive boost they are in desperate need of.

  1. Seattle Kraken.

Last Week Rank: 2.

Overall Record: 12-16-2.

Weekly Record: 3-5-1 (L3).

Strength: Heart (Stealing one from Randall here; these guys don’t give up).

Weakness: Offense (79 goals for, 4th last in the league).

MVP: FreezeMothaSucka (24 goals in 22 games for the offensively starved Kraken).

Trade Deadline Acquisitions: Damorien.

I have no idea who Damorien is, but in 5 games for Seattle he was a -5, so he may not be making the greatest impact. With how Seattle has been playing, a big change may not be necessary, but they need to start putting pucks in the net. FreezeMothaSucka and Spelliscy_21 can’t be the only guys burying pucks for them. NowYoDead continues to have a great season on defense, proving the naysayers wrong with 5 goals and 18 assists in 17 games, while Teamrun420 continues to be a stable, reliable option alongside him. iearntofly is keeping the ship afloat, and Blade0Muffin continues to backstop the Kraken; he may need some more goal support and puck control from the Kraken to reduce their goal differential and get back into the positive column this week.

  1. Colorado Avalanche.

Last Week Rank: 5.

Overall Record: 8-19-3.

Weekly Record: 2-6-1 (L4).

Strength: *file not found*.

Weakness: Special Teams (19.6% powerplay conversion rate (2nd last in the league) and 57.1% penalty kill). 

MVP: cpenn4204 (his 17 goals lead the team after Thomas’ departure).

Trade Deadline Acquisitions: iZinczyi and zerczylol.

While I believe the trade was fair talent wise, I’m not sure why SA_Pliskin would move SelkeTommygoat and benji_frank_100, but the reward in iZinczyi and zerczylol is quite the bountiful one; they could pair well on a top line with PistolPete7788 (the best forward option I can see that doesn’t have C refused). Meanwhile, the team’s leading scorer in cpenn will need to slot back with Pliskin and give some support to FxtDino- and xRichter35.

Wait, they’re still struggling to get availability, finished last week 0-4, and didn’t get another goalie or defender and solve Pliskin’s identity crisis between being a defender and a goalie? Well, better luck next season! Unless the Zinc and Zerc duo can carry this team into the playoffs, Pliskin better start thinking about October.

So, the dust has settled on the trade deadline, and like we discussed earlier, some teams have gotten significantly better while some have nearly fallen off the planet entirely (sorry Cuban!). We’ve got 15 games left in the schedule, and with rosters finalized, now is the time to figure it out; figure out your top forward line, your starting defense pairing, and your goaltending situation. Then, figure out the type of game that you play: are you a trapping team? A run-and-gun offense team? A cycle team? Get your starting line set, get your game plan set, and get ready for playoffs. Well, all but two teams. Better luck next time!

The Gutless One has done a great job on the Eastern conference these past two weeks, hasn’t he? A big thank you goes out to him once again, and for reminding me that we were doing this thing again (I had a bunch of concerts this past week, it was a lot of fun). Shoutout to him, Cuban1616, and SA_Pliskin over on the SPNHL podcast for all their hard work, kind words, and excellent choice in introduction music. Lastly, shoutout to you for reading this! Yeah you! If you got to the end of this mess, thank you!

Good luck to everybody this upcoming week!

SPNHL Media Correspondents Extraordinaire,

Dirty-Dietrich & randymarsh2012

SPNHL Season 44: Weekly Review – “46% Burnt”

SPNHL Season 44: Weekly Review – “46% Burnt”

By: Dirty-Dietrich & randymarsh2012

Why, hello! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? How have you been? Good, I hope! I’ve had my fair share of developments over the past two years: I graduated from a university that elected to rename itself in the midst of a pandemic, I worked as a grocery store manager where I got yelled at by some crazy lady and got featured on BlogTO, and I started a new relationship with a partner that brought me further into the core of downtown Toronto where I got to see just how… unique this city really is. I haven’t gotten a chance to go to a Leafs game yet, but maybe I saved myself from disappointment.

Traditionally, this would be the halfway point of the season, but due to holidays, nationwide internet outages, and other obstacles, we find ourselves through exactly 46% of the season. Close enough one might say, but we’re all about semantics over here. We’ve seen blockbuster trades, GMs get fired, and much more that has all but become par for the course here in the SPNHL. Favourites have emerged, teams have fallen apart, and stars have emerged as we get closer to the trade deadline (which was so graciously pushed back by SA_Pliskin, thank you sir).

Everybody’s favourite media correspondent randymarsh2012 has agreed to let me write the weekly review with him! To avoid bias, and take a bit of the load off ourselves (save the jokes for the chat, you degenerates), we’ll be giving our review of each other’s conference. We’ll be looking at their strengths, weaknesses, MVPs, and some areas they need to address as the trade deadline looms. Some folks will be happy, some will be upset, but some should SHUTCHO DUMB ASS UP and make a media contribution; then you can complain.

Let’s start with the Eastern conference!

EASTERN CONFERENCE

1. Detroit Red Wings.

Overall Record: 15-4-2.

Weekly Record: 7-2-0 (W7).

Strength: Everything.

Weakness: Nothing.

MVP: Hxrdie, 43 goals and 78 points, leads the league in both categories.

Trade Bait: iZinczyi, Zercylol.

The Red Wings are an offensive and defensive powerhouse this season, having the 2nd most goals for in the league (104) and the least goals against (53). kyleJ83 and hypey- being the new d-pair for this top line of Hxrdie, iZinczyi, and zercylol with chadkillz134 now stepping back between the pipes and posting a 6-2 record with a 1.75GAA and 83.33%. These guys look to be the most well-rounded team in the whole league, and still are the favourites to win the cup. I put Zercylol and iZinczyi as trade bait because the trade they made earlier in the week has forced Hxrdie to C, which hasn’t proven to be a bad move, but they could upgrade on left wing and at centre by using those guys as trade bait since Zinczy has C refused. I could see chad making a move that would allow Hxrdie to go back to RW.

2. Toronto Maple Leafs

Overall Record: 14-4-3.

Weekly Record: 7-2-0 (W1).

Strength: Defense, Goaltending, Penalty Kill.

Weakness: Offense.

MVP: YoJonsn, 17 GP, 158 GV, 61 TK, 105 INT.

Trade Bait: KarlssonIsGod, Jcpens22.

The Leafs have proven to be one of the most solid defensive teams in the league with all but 2 of their players (forwards included) having positive GV:TK ratios with YoJonsn putting a Selke season together so far, being the most heavily played forward and having a +0.47 GV:TK ratio. Toronto’s goaltending has really been a positive factor with these guys as well; Bufford must’ve read the hot or not article and decided to do something about it. Sorokin’s numbers are slightly skewed since he was involved in a day loan trade with the Sharks where he had 2 losses. Dirty-Dietrich also has stepped up his game on defense, putting up a +9.56 GV:TK ratio followed by Monokuuu with a +8.25. Toronto made a shocking trade in the SP world last week by moving their most offensive forward BejimoSzn for Lilchapy (who was putting up average numbers in Edmonton), which was a bit of a headscratcher since offense was the one thing this team needed the most and battling hard for the #1 spot in the East with Detroit. KarlssonIsGod and Jcpens22 are two left wingers that I see Toronto moving before the deadline to possibly re-acquire a #1 scoring RW to complete a strong forward line for playoffs.

3. Washington Capitals

Overall Record: 10-11-0.

Weekly Record:  3-6-0 (L4).

Strength: Offense.

Weakness: Defense.

MVP: Semple19, 11GP, 26G, 44pts (tied for 4th in the league in goals).

Trade Bait: ProdigytoLegend, Semple19.

This Capitals team has had a rough week, posting 2 FF’s and 4 regulation losses through 7 games played. It appears this team is in dire need of a 1st line C or RW; forcing ProdigyToLegend to play C on this top line is not working out for them as well as it did to start the season. Also, ll-Dustin-II should be sticking to playing defense, where he was contributing much more to this squad. It’s tough to give a proper breakdown through these losses as no stats have been updated since Thursday’s games. I have Semple19 and Prodigy who are both primary LW’s as this team’s trade bait; if these guys want to continue to compete for a chance at a cup one of these guys will have to go for a top line centre or right wing. 

4. Montreal Canadiens.

Overall Record: 10-11-0.

Weekly Record: 5-4-0 (W3).

Strength: Offense.

Weakness: Defense.

MVP: LeCupidon, 16GP, 20G, 52pts (4th in the league in points).

Trade Bait: Jhursi.

This Montreal Canadians team is slowly regrouping, and have moved from last to a tie for 3rd in the East. LeCupidon is leading this team’s offense with Reapz2313 right there behind him, putting the puck in the net with 31 goals on the season. The defense on this squad seem to rely heavily on Brazghostt when he is in net, as his numbers aren’t as great as they were last season, while his 3-7 record is a tough look. These guys need to get back to playing that style where they protect their star goaltender and capitalize on turnovers. I’m assuming some weak avail has also caused some trouble for these guys as well; Jhursi is someone they’d like to move since he has only 3GP for this team so far. They need a guy who will be there for 6 of 9 games each week.

5. Philadelphia Flyers.

Overall Record: 7-14-0.

Weekly Record: 0-9 (L9).

Strength: N/A.

Weakness: Everything.

MVP: Kidmoney (7GP, 3.0PPG)

Trade Bait: Wardo_05, Staleee-.

Where do I even start with these guys? They had a great night 2 weeks ago which put this team on the map, and then the wheels completely fell off this week. Going 0-6 with frustrations rising caused this team to make a trade to really shake things up, flipping Lxppy–, Hughsy28-, PickleTickler69, Druwyy, and Frody410 to the Sharks for WARDO-05, Staleee-, Nxbxr-, Ice_uck97, and FLINN_21-Xx21xX. I don’t see Wardo and Staleee saving this team, but they’re 2 guys who can play at an elite level and maybe get this team going back in the right direction with some good availability. I have Wardo and Staleee as trade bait on this team since both guys would be an asset to any team, and can get some great value back; Wardo’s 9.5M contract will be tough to move though.

WESTERN CONFERENCE

1. San Jose Sharks.

Overall Record: 18-3-0.

Weekly Record: 8-1-0 (W5).

Strength: Offense (109 goals for, 1st in the league).

Weakness: I got nothing here… pressure? Expectations?

MVP: Bartlett-67 (54 assists, leads the league, second in the league with 72 points).

Trade Bait: Philmorin.

The Sharks have been unstoppable out of the gate, and with the move Randall just made to acquire Hughsy28- and Lxppy- from Philadelphia, they became all but the favourite to emerge as the Western Conference champions. Lxppy- will slot nicely along Randall (second in the league in goals) and Bartlett-67. NoScxpe96 is having a Norris calibre season, and acquiring Hughsy will give San Jose one of the best defensive pairings in the league. Itsjustskillzz_ has made a seamless transition to net, and is undefeated in 9 starts this season with a .750 SV% and a 2.33 GAA. I listed Philmorin as trade bait here, as I think they could get a better backup for skillzz and could run Frody410 and Druwyy as a backup defensive pairing. However, the Sharks don’t need to change a thing right now; keep it up Randall!

2. Seattle Kraken.

Overall Record: 9-11-1.

Weekly Record: 6-2-1 (L1).

Strength: Depth (good players with good availability have helped Seattle’s resurgence).

Weakness: Defense (80 goals against, 3rd most in the league).

MVP: FreezeMothaSucka (leads the Kraken with 16 goals and 22 assists in 14 games).

Trade Bait: Spelliscy_21.

Cockroaches! Despite numerous forfeits and nearly being written off at the beginning of the season, Seattle has emerged as this season’s Cinderella story. Iearntofly had a lot of people shaking their heads when Teamrun420 and NowYoDead were the first players selected to the Kraken, but they have formed a reliable pairing for the team as a defensive-offensive combination. They have been solid in front of Blade0Muffin, who has a GAA that’s just over 4, but has faced 60 more shots than any other goaltender in the league. Meanwhile, FreezeMothaSucka is Seattle’s driving offensive force, and could lead a great line with Fly and Gamertagrequird (who would probably hunt me down if I drafted him just to trade him again). Gamer/Minor seems to have found instant chemistry with that line, which makes Spelliscy_21 expendable. With a 2.3 GAA, he could be moved for another defender to help out NYD and Teamrun, and give Seattle some depth for a playoff run.

3. Edmonton Oilers.

Overall Record: 10-9-2.

Weekly Record: 4-5-0 (W1).

Strength: Defense (63 goals against, 4th in the league).

Weakness: Availability (XxGrahame_47xX leads the team with 15 GP).

MVP: xBeanZy- (leads the Oilers with 11 goals and 21 assists in 10 GP).

Trade Bait: Sniiiider.

Another team that was favoured from the onset of the season, Edmonton has somewhat failed to live up to expectations; now, this may be due summer vacations or commitments to other leagues, but if more of this team’s starting 6 were around, they would not have anything remotely close to 9 losses. We see how proflic uStooPiiD and SomeoneStopMePls are as defenders (both scoring over 1.5 PPG in 6 GP), but Coffey-lidstrom is their most employed defender, who is at -6. Beanzy can play LW more consistently with Ande91-, a great two-way centre, and their goal scoring will improve with the acquisition of speedster BejimoSzn from Toronto (I’ll miss you, Bej!). This will solidfy their starting 6 with a fantastic right wing, which now makes Sniiiider, who has 10 goals in 6 games, expendable. Maybe the Oilers can use him to acquire a backup G option for XxGrahame_47xX, who has performed well this season with a 3 GAA but could use a bit of a break between the pipes. Nonetheless, expect the Oilers to be one of the better teams in the league over the next 2 weeks. 

4. Vegas Golden Knights.

Overall Record: 6-13-2.

Weekly Record: 3-6-0 (L1).

Strength: Balls? Resilience? It takes some major cajones to pull off a trade like that.

Weakness: Offense (47 goals for, the least in the league).

MVP: John_Dean_16 (13 goals and 5 assists in 9 games).

Trade Bait: xNitro_96-.

So, the Golden Knights have had an interesting season; their original GM got fired and Shock_r took over. Then, their superstars in iZinczyi and zercylol demanded a trade and got it, being sent to Detroit for Bk_0994, twns_Pepsi, Mrlolchico13, and FatSilhouette (the former ended up quitting). However, despite the overhaul, the team doubled their season’s win total this past week. While Vegas looks weak statistically, they have some solid pieces and could make a formidable line: ThaFoSix has been putting in work for them at D, with 14 games played and a whopping 89 hits, and could benefit from being paired with vVxsion more. Meanwhile, John_Dean_16 could slot in at right wing on a formidable line with Pepsi which would be anchored by Sauc—y. With a backup option in FatSilhouette, that makes xNitro_96- expendable and could easily be moved for another defender. With that line playing in front of Mrlolchico13, Vegas could contend with the upcoming team for the final playoff spot, or could see more players quit and doom this team.

5. Colorado Avalanche.

Overall Record: 6-13-2.

Weekly Record: 1-6-2 (L3).

Strength: Versatility (I could come up with about 3 different starting 6 options for this team).

Weakness: Specialty Teams (55.3% penalty kill (lowest in the league) and 19.5% powerplay (3rd lowest in the league).

MVP: SelkeTommygoat (15 goals and 14 assists in 13 games played, leads the team in all).

Trade Bait: robobeanaz.

What happened here? Colorado had all the pieces they needed to be a highly competitive team from the start of the season, but it seems like things have fallen apart. I blame Pete, the old curmudgeon, who does have the most games played at D, and has 9 points in those 7 games played. If cpenn4204 played more, they would be a formidable puck moving duo. Meanwhile, SelkeTommygoat has been the star for the low scoring Avalanche, while Benji_Frank_100 has been reliable in his limited time at forward. If SA_Pliskin stepped out of the net and let FxtDino- and FlamingMentos handle goaltending duties, he could play LD, move Petey up to wing with Tommy and Benji, and they could ship out robobeanaz; his 2 points per game on an offensively challenged club could raise his stock and earn a helpful return. It’s not too late for the Avalanche, and if they make the playoffs, they could have a deep run.

We’re just under halfway through the season, and there is still plenty of time for the standings to change, teams to be overhauled, and more shenanigans to occur. Teams are starting to find their footing in regards to chemistry, and if the availability improves, we’ll see a return to the contentious nature we saw at the beginning of the season, where it seemed like teams were the most balanced they’ve been in years. However, if we’ve learned anything from the great sedinpower dynasties of the past, all that matters is making it into the playoffs.

A big thank you to randymarsh2012 for taking care of the Eastern conference and giving his thoughtful and insightful analysis on the five teams we got over there. I’m not sure what he said, I’m writing this outro before he even sends me his part so if he said anything bad about the Leafs or my offensive performance this season, you’re right but get bent, Randall. Anyways, make sure to tune into The SPNHL Podcast hosted by Cuban1616 (hopefully he does more than just reread the article this week), and give Hxrdie-’s piece a read!

Good luck to everybody this upcoming week!

SPNHL Media Correspondents Extraordinaire,

Dirty-Dietrich & randymarsh2012