Category: League News

SPNHL Season 44: Weekly Review/PowerRankings – “It All Comes Down to This”

By: Dirty-Dietrich & randymarsh2012

Hockey season is coming up, and I still think it’s ridiculous that in order to watch in-market games, you either need a VPN or you need a cable subscription. Like, what year is it? Yeah, I could continue to use my streaming site (not naming it here, momma didn’t raise no snitch), but I wouldn’t mind watching it on a big screen and continuing to use my laptop for other things. Before you try and sell me on an IPTV, keep in mind that PistolPete tried doing it for years. Perhaps I should give it a shot? I’m stubborn and a traditionalist, so we’ll see. Maybe I’ll sign up for TSN Direct and Sportsnet Now and diversify my sports intake. If only I get ESPN 8: “The Ocho”…

Much like the name of the excellent Bane debut record, it all comes down to this; two conference champions prepare to engage in a grueling, seven game series in order to crown the winner of the Stanley Cup and the little of the best team in Season 44 of the Sony Playstation National Hockey League. Four teams engaged in the conference finals over the past week, but only two came out victorious; the teams that met the unfortunate fate of defeat were the Edmonton Oilers and the Detroit Red Wings. I’d like to congratulate both teams on a hell of a season and wish them nothing but the best as they look forward to next season, as there is no shame in falling short to the Stanley Cup finalists. Speaking of them, let’s get reacquainted. 

In the Western Conference, we have the San Jose Sharks. This powerhouse has sat atop of the league all season long, matching the record for the most wins in 45 games with 41. This is a team that was never complacent and kept improving throughout the season, making trades to bring in the best players available and have them slot into the lineup with ease. After disposing of the Vegas Golden Knights in the first round of the playoffs, they faced an immensely talented Edmonton Oilers team in the conference finals, and pulled off the win a tight 6 game series.

Out of the Eastern Conference, we have the Washington Capitals. The Capitals were predicted to be one of the best teams out of the gate, but didn’t really click until later on in the season. They found themselves struggling, but trades for key players turned their season around. They emerged as the second seed in the East, and disposed of the Toronto Maple Leafs in 5 games in the first round. Many predicted the Red Wings to defeat the Capitals, but Washington was able to pull off the upset and advance to the Stanley Cup Finals in 6 games. 

Congratulations to the San Jose Sharks and the Washington Capitals for advancing to the Stanley Cup Finals, and playing some excellent hockey for the past two months. Now, you’ve got one week left and seven games to show that you are the best team in the league. Not only is randymarsh2012 playing in this series, he’s also gonna be breaking it down for us, highlighting each team’s strengths and weaknesses, recapping predictions, and a whole bunch of other things he has gone above and beyond to do for your reading pleasure. Isn’t he just the best?

Let’s start by taking a closer look at the previous round!

Round 2 Review

San Jose Sharks advance to the Cup final beating the Edmonton Oilers in 6 games.

Game 1 – Edmonton grabbed an early 1-0 lead, but the Sharks came back in the 3rd to tie and force overtime and won by a score of 3-2.

Game 2 – Sharks grabbed the lead early in the 2nd but they couldn’t hold on as the Oilers put up 3 goals in the 3rd to win 3-1 and tie the series at 1-1.

Game 3 – Oilers and Sharks were tied 1-1 after the first period, then the Sharks grabbed the lead to make it 2-1 after the 2nd period. In the 3rd, Edmonton took a few costly penalties that the Sharks capitalized on to win the game 5-2.

Game 4 – This game was a nail biter heading into the 3rd tied 1-1, then the sharks broke the tie to make it 2-1 and shortly after Clake had a lag out which forced Edmonton to take a PIM and restart the game with 6 minutes left in the 3rd. The Sharks took advantage of that PP and scored and didn’t look back as the next 3 shots also went in causing the score to be run up to 6-1 in favour of the Sharks and to take a commanding 3-1 series lead.

Game 5 – Edmonton wasn’t going to roll over just yet, they made a goaltending change which put SomeoneStopMepls in net with Bejimoszn taking over right wing. The Oilers got a late 1st period breakaway and scored, and then it was strong Edmonton defense and goaltending that sealed the deal giving the Sharks their 1st scoreless game of the season and winning 1-0, bringing the series to 3-2 in favor of the Sharks.

Game 6 – San Jose’s offense came out of the gate early and had a 3-1 lead after the 1st period. Halfway through the 3rd period, the  Sharks scored their 5th goal of the game to make it 5-1 and seemed to be the dagger to end Edmonton’s playoff dreams. But Beanzy, Semple, and Bejimo weren’t ready to call it quits yet. They stormed back over the next 8 minutes and scored 4 goals to tie the game at 5-5. They had the Sharks on their heels hard and panic was starting to set in, but with 30 seconds left in the game Hughsy fired a one timer from the point far side to put the sharks up by 1. Then Noscope sealed the deal with 10 seconds remaining with an empty netter to put the Sharks into the Stanley Cup Finals.

Edmonton played strong hockey all series and despite some of the final scores, kept games very close and very competitive throughout the entire series. A couple of good bounces and the series could’ve ended in their favor. Great series and great season for these Oilers. They played a team that has only lost 6 times so far this entire season and they were the ones that handed them 3 of those losses.

RandyMarsh’s gutless Sharks move on to the SCF and it is his first appearance in a cup final since riding the pine back in S27, where he was carried to a cup win.

The Washington Capitals pull off the upset and beat the Detroit Red Wings in 6 games.

Game 1 – Washington made a late push in the 3rd to try and tie the game but was unsuccessful. Red Wings take game 1 with a score of 4-3 to go up in the series 1-0 to start. 

Game 2 – Washington scores 6 goals on 11 shots and takes game 2 with a commanding score of 6-1.

Game 3 – Washington continues to pick apart Vandoos as they score 5 goals on 9 shots and win 5-2 to take a 2-1 series lead.

Game 4 – Washington wins 2-1 to take a commanding series lead of 3-1.

Game 5 – Detroit wins 2-1 to force a game 6.

Game 6 – Washington beats Detroit 2-1 in a nail biter and wins the series.

Detroit didn’t get the goaltending they needed in games 2 + 3 (although Fluri said he did great in the latter three games), and Washington did a good job of shutting down Hardie in this series. Washington is showing they have the defensive ability that some people (myself included) doubted they had and are now making their way to the SCF to face a hungry Sharks team.

Detroit had a hell of a season and are more than likely very disappointed in the outcome, but it took some serious strong hockey by Washington to take these Red Wings down. Congrats to Chad on building yet another stellar team and competing hard.

Washington showed this series that they are a true force to be reckoned with and that the Sharks better be ready because they are coming for the cup and nothing less.

Eggman, start doing your stats. Either that, or give us play-by-play or a review of the series. EGG!

Here are the results of the 2nd round picks combined with the 1st to see who the best guesser in the playoffs is:

RankPlayerTotal
1Fluri3722
2Cpenn21
3Dirty-Dietrich19
4Hardie18
4Tommyboii18
6RandyMarsh17
6Hughsy2817
6Kidmoney17
6El_Rookie17
6FreezeMothaSucka17
11CClarke199916
11YoJonsn16
11Fishhure16
11Polar138716
15WheelChairDevon14
15ThaFoSix14

Fluri37 takes over 1st place with cpenn in a close 2nd.

Hardie and tommy laid big goose eggs both picking Edmonton and Detroit to win, dropping them to 4th.

Stanley Cup Final Preview:

San Jose Sharks (41-4-0) vs Washington Capitals (29-15-1)

Season Series: Sharks (3-1-0) Caps (1-3-0)

Potential Game 7 Matchup:

Center: John Dean vs Fluri37.

Left Wing: Barlett vs ProdigyToLegend. 

Right Wing: RandyMarsh vs Wardo_05.

Left Defense: Noscope vs Eggman.

Right Defense: Hughsy vs Dustin.

Goalie: MrlolChico/Pickle vs Goalieman/Liljxgren.

Spare/Potential G7: – TwnsPepsi vs Druwyy.

Key Points:

  • None of these players have all touched the ice at the same time in their meetings.
  • Fluri called his boss gutless the other day, so we all know RandyMarsh is living rent free in his brain.
  • Prod beat his bff Tommyboii last series so he could be going through some emotional damage.
  • Wardo was a 2nd round pick to the Sharks and was later involved in the trade that brought Hughsy and PickleTickler to San Jose, so he will be sweating his hole off so he can tell RandyMarsh to pound sand.
  • Druwyy was a Shark for a day before being traded to Washington.
  • Hughsy and John Dean have 3-peat cup champions on the line.
  • Bartlett is ass ong.

Randy: This Washington team has come together at the right time and is showing that they are primed and ready to win a cup. The top line of Fluri, Prod, and Wardo is getting the offense done while also playing solid defensive hockey. Their newfound goaltending superstar in Liljxgren is another factor in this team’s success. Dustin buying into his role as a defender for this team and doing it well is also another reason why this team has been successful these past 4 weeks.

 The Sharks have just continued to truck along and get the W’s, but they were put to the true test against Edmonton, the Sharks came out successful but showed some serious gaps in their play at times that almost cost them games in the series. They’ll be looking to clean that part of their game up for this next series.

These 2 forward groups are a very tight matchup. Both teams had 2 players in the top 6 in scoring this season and both lines have been producing good numbers so far in these playoffs. Will the chemistry between Bart, John, and Randy continue into this series? Or has Prod and Fluri found some new chem with Wardo on the right side that may be overwhelming for the Sharks?

The defensive matchup looks to be in favor of the Sharks looking at the stats so far in these playoffs. Both Shark defenders are 1 and 2 in scoring by a fair amount. But the Capital defenders have just come off playing one of the top lines in the league and limiting them to 4 goals over the final 3 games of their series. Could the strong defensive play of Washington’s defenders be more valuable in this series than the Sharks quick puck moving D-men?

Goaltending, the Sharks have had solid goaltending all season out of MrlolChico and Pickletickler, with both only having 1 loss each so far these playoffs. But Washington, who once had one of the worst goalie statistics out of all teams during the season, now has 2 goalies leading the playoffs in SV% and GAA. Will the potential Vezina winner MrlolChico show why the trophy deserves to be his? Or will late season bloomer Liljxgren continue his brick wall play and shut these Sharks down?

Forwards: Toss up, both forward lines are potent and have shown they can score.

Defense: Advantage to San Jose, more offensive ability and just as capable defensively.

Goaltending: Toss up, Washington goalies have the better numbers these playoffs, but during the season Shark goalies have gotten the numbers and wins.

RandyMarsh’s gutless pick – Washington in 5

Dirty D: Randall and the Sharks have a combined 49-6 record in the regular and playoffs, and that kind of dominance is rarely witnessed. They have paired explosive offence guided by lightning fast speed and great puck movement with impenetrable defence to create a lethal combination that only the Oilers have seem to have figured out. With a startling line consisting of three of the reigning Stanley Cup champions, this team has a championship pedigree and knows how to get it done when the time comes.

Eggman and the Capitals continued their midseason resurgence and have rode it all the way to the Stanley Cup final. This is another team that has a lot of championship success, with Eggman, Prodigy, and Fluri all having been to the promised land before. They know how to break through traps and command the slot as their own, whether it be in the offensive end or the defensive end. The defensive depth that this team has is key to their success in these playoffs.

Offensively, I have to give the edge to the San Jose Sharks. The Capitals have been fantastic offensively during these playoffs, with Fluri37 leading the way and being a frontrunner for the Conn Smythe, but Randall and Bartlett have continued their momentum from the regular season and remain in the top 3 in scoring; the Gutless One leads all players with 18 goals and 44 shots. While Fluri has some great weapons around him in Prodigy, Druwyy, and WARD0, the Sharks have John_Dean anchoring their top line and will have the better top line entering this series.

On defense, NoScxpe has been shutting down people for the Sharks all season long, and the addition of Hughsy to that line has only bolstered an already stout defence (the latter is channeling his inner Victor Hedman these playoffs). I would love to talk more statistically about the Capitals’ defensive corps, but you know Eggy and stats don’t always go well together. However, they boast an impressive core of Dustin, Druwyy, WARD0 (yeah, they’re versatile), and Mr. Egg himself. They shut us down, but I feel like they won’t be able to contend with the dangerous duo across the ice from them.

Picking up Chico to solidify the starting goaltender role was great for the Sharks, but he hasn’t played as well as this pundit has expected him to these playoffs. Fortunately, he has the best team in the league in front of him. Meanwhile, Washington’s two goalies have stepped their game up in these playoffs, especially Liljxgren, who has all but stolen the starting goaltender spot away from goalieman. I feel like he’s the go-to-guy if Washington wants to win a Stanley Cup, and out of all the goaltenders in this series, he’s the best.

Forwards: advantage – San Jose Sharks.

Defense: advantage – San Jose Sharks (by a hair).

Goaltending: advantage – Washington Capitals.

Dietrich’s dirty prediction: my heart is telling me Washington, but my mind says San Jose Sharks in 6 games.

Here are the predictions from the rest of the league:

Well, we’ve got a barnburner for you this week, folks; we’ve got two grizzled veterans leading their team to a showdown for the Stanley Cup, we’ve got two offensive dynamos guiding their team’s offense, we’ve got two defensive duos looking to shut down the opposing squadron, and we’ve got two goalies looking to prove that they are the best and backstop their team to a championship. Only one team will emerge as the 44th Stanley Cup winner in the SPNHL, as heartbreaking defeat is in store for the other (or not, it is a video game after all). Nonetheless, we’re in store for some highly competitive hockey!

Randall, best of luck to you in this series my friend, and thank you once again for doing the brunt of the work to put this article together. You’d figure that my unemployed self would have the free time to do most of the work, but our dear friend commits most of his free time and neglects his work to deliver an excellent product. Speaking of that, make sure to listen to this week’s edition of the SPNHL Podcast, where Cuban1616 and SA_Pliskin are breaking down all the happenings in the playoffs and are being joined by a very special guest, from what I hear! 

Will Randymarsh win his first cup as GM and 2nd since S27? Or will Eggman win his, like, 8th cup?

Stay Gutless SP,

Randymarsh2012 & Dirty-Dietrich

SPNHL Season 44: Playoff Preview, Round One Review / Conference Finals Preview – “Agreeing Is Overrated”

By: Dirty-Dietrich & randymarsh2012

My partner and I visited that new IKEA that opened a couple months ago in downtown Toronto and man, it is a ZOO in there. We were looking for shoe racks, and despite having 25 in their catalogue, they had none in store. We were gonna buy some plates as well, and despite one of the associates stating they had 6 in stock, the only ones they had were “display models”, according to another associate. Hopefully they get it figured out and ensure consistent communication between staff. Although, it was fun to yell “Hej!” whenever I saw it on the back of an associate’s shirt. They had no idea what I was talking about.

Just like that, we are down from 10 teams to 4; the top 2 teams in each conference maintained the momentum that they accumulated throughout the regular season and made short work of their first round opponents on their way to a potential Stanley Cup. It was a relatively easy path, on paper, for those teams; the San Jose Sharks and Edmonton Oilers didn’t surrender a loss to their opponents, meanwhile the Detroit Red Wings and Washington Capitals were dominant in their disposal of their competitors. For the Seattle Kraken, Vegas Golden Knights, Montreal Canadiens, and my lovely Toronto Maple Leafs, nice try and better luck next season!

Now that we’ve reached the Conference Finals of season 44 of the SPNHL Playoffs, we have four dynamic teams with their own compelling stories. Will the Sharks continue their historic season and easily advance to the Finals, or will the Oilers finally realize the potential from the beginning of the season, ice their game 7 line, and take down their proverbial white whale? Will chadkillz return to the Finals for the second consecutive season with his Detroit Red Wings, or will Washington’s mid-season resurgence continue all the way to the Stanley Cup? No matter what happens, we are in for an exciting week of games!

Randy, bless his soul, did the majority of the work on this breakdown. I just got the article emailed to me and I like to put a little pizzazz and personality into it. It was a short but somewhat eventful week in SP covering this first round of playoffs; there weren’t any upsets and not many (if any) surprises, but here is a quick breakdown of how round one went, and further below is the Conference Finals preview. We’ve also got some present and past SP players to give their predictions on how these finals will go. We get by with a little help from our friends!

Round 1 Review

WESTERN CONFERENCE

San Jose Sharks beat Vegas Golden Knights in 4 games.

The Knights put up a huge battle, forcing OT in game 1of this series, but unfortunately that’s as close as they managed to get against this Sharks team. The rest of the games were easily handled by the Sharks, with the Knights quitting in game 3 being down by 7 goals.

Shoutout to Shock_r for taking over the dumpster fire that VGK was and turning them into a playoff team.

Congrats to RandyMarsh on finally winning a god damn series!

Edmonton Oilers sweep the Seattle Kraken.

The Kraken fought hard this series losing by 1 goal three times and 2 goals another but nonetheless, came up short and never could close the deal on this Oilers squad.

Semple19 led the way for the Oilers, scoring 13 points in 4 games, while Ande91 led the back-end, scoring 6 points in 2 games with only 7GV. Clake shut the door, recording all 4 wins with a 3.50GAA.

Shoutout on the hard-fought series Kraken, you put up a good fight against a very strong team.

Congrats to the Oilers squad on sweeping their opponent and moving on to the next round!

EASTERN CONFERENCE

Detroit Red Wings eliminate the Montreal Canadiens in 5 games.

Montreal got their 1 win to avoid getting swept, but it was the Red Wings who have led the East most of the season who crushed any hopes this Montreal team had for a Conference Finals appearance. The games between these two teams looked to have been fairly close (except the 2 games where these teams traded 6 goals) with game 5 being a 1-0 win for the Red Wings.

Hxrdie led the way for the Red Wings, putting up 11 points in 4 games, while Vandoos closed the door and grabbed all 4 Red Wing wins and had a 2.00GAA and 85.45SV%.

LeCupidon was still a force in this short run for the Canadiens, putting up 10 points in 3 games while BrazGhostt put up a respectable 80.00SV% and helped grab his team’s only win.

Shoutout to Montreal for putting up a good fight and keeping the games respectable against this strong Red Wings team.

Congrats to Chadkillz on beating the Reapz/Cupidon combo for the 8th straight time.

Washington Capitals start slow but finished strong against the Toronto Maple Leafs taking the series in 5 games.

Toronto looked to be in the driver’s seat finding that much needed offense in game 1 of the series winning 6-2… but the offense died after that, only scoring 3 goals in the next 3 games, and then losing game 5 by a score of 6-4.

LilChappy led the way for the Leafs scoring 9 points in 5 games, while Sorokin grabbed the only win for the Leafs in nets and put up a solid 80.00SV% over 3 games with a 2.67 GAA.

Eggman is terrible at putting stats in, but it looks as if Fluri37 and Wardo_05 were the main guys contributing to the offense for the Capitals, while Liljxgren put up a 84.62SV% in one of the Capital wins.

Congrats to the Capitals on rebounding after game 1 and taking the next 4 games from the Leafs.

Shoutout to my boy Dirty and his Leafs for a great season and competing hard with this Capitals squad.

Here are the results of the playoff predictions of the selected few who gave me their thoughts on Round 1. 

(Correct team = 3pts, Correct number of games and correct team = bonus 2pts)

RankPlayerTotal
1Hardie18
1Tommyboii18
3Fluri3716
3Cpenn16
3Fishhure16
3Polar138716
7RandyMarsh14
7Hughsy2814
7FreezeMothaSucka14
10CClarke199913
10YoJonsn13
12El_Rookie12
13Dirty-Dietrich11
13WheelChairDevon11
13Kidmoney11
13ThaFoSix11

(20pts would have been a perfectly picked round)

Fosix, Dirty D, and Kidmoney were the only players to pick their respective teams, what a bunch of MORONS!

Devon picked against his own team but was wrong in his leafs pick causing him to also be last.

Hardie and Tommy must’ve colluded in their choices because they picked that exact same, gutless pricks. Hate them for being the most right.

Now onto the Conference Finals preview!

WESTERN CONFERENCE FINALS: San Jose Sharks (41-4-0) vs Edmonton Oilers (25-16-4)

Season Series: Sharks 6-1-0, Oilers (1-5-1) (Oilers had 1 FF L).

Do not let the season series fool you, this Oilers team did not put out their best lines in the majority of games against the Sharks squad. 

The Oilers came out the first half of this season going 9-11-3 with some bad availability, then fixed their availability issue and went 16-5-1 to finish the season. 

Let’s break it down a different way this time; we will look at each team’s Game 7 lineup and what the match up looks like.

Center: John Dean vs Beanzy.

Left Wing: – Bartlett vs Semple.

Right Wing: RandyMarsh vs Bejimoszn.

Left Defense: NoScope vs Ustoopid.

Right Defense: Hughsy vs SomeoneStopmepls.

Goalie: MrlolChico vs Clake.

Spare/potential G7 player: – Twnspepsi vs Ande91.

Randy: These matchups are intense; I’m not 100% sure if this G7 lineup for Edmonton is accurate or if Ande91 gets the call for RD and SomeoneStopmepls goes up front, or if he goes in nets instead of Clake. Either way, it’s a strong lineup with great players on both sides of the ice.

As far as these forward units go, this is pretty much a wash. San Jose has had the better offensive numbers this season, but they also played more games. Bartlett, John Dean, and RandyMarsh move the puck well and find ways to score. Semple, Beanzy and Bejimo are also well-known scorers, playoff performers, and have put up great numbers in the games they played. twnspepsi and Ande91 are the other offensive threats this series has that could be in the lineup at any time.

On defense you have another close match up, as ustoopid is arguably the best breakout defensemen in the league with great offensive and defensive talent while SomeoneStopmepls is one of the guys you could argue is better. This Edmonton team has no holes on the back end. Even with Ande91 in he is still one of the better D this season and has proven it. The Sharks defensive duo in Hughsy and Noscope is just as talented as Edmonton’s. Noscope has put up great numbers this season and in playoffs, while Hughsy has won back-to-back cups playing defense and has proven he can play any position on the ice and be an effective player. (Also, Sharks have Philmorin, the best teabagging player to ever play SP, huge advantage there…. although Ustoopid has teabagged RandyMarsh religiously in the meetings they’ve had, could be an argument made there as well.)

In nets you have a MrlolChico vs Clake matchup. Clake has proven he can make big saves when called upon, but he is also known to lose focus and let a few weak ones in (which he either blames on D or internet). MrlolChico on the other hand has been nothing but consistent this season and put-up solid numbers every game, he finished the regular season with the best SV% and one of the better win-lose records. Sharks also have a weapon in PickleTickler too, if the kid is on his game, he has proven to be one of the tougher goalies to beat. When he decides he’s going to be a tool (which is 99% of the time) he just lets other teams score for his own amusement and you’ll rarely see him in his crease. Edmonton has also placed players like Bean and SomeoneStopmepls in nets this season who both are proven winning goalies, so there is that option as well with this Oilers team and putting Clake on the bench.

Forwards: toss up, could go either way.

Defense: slight edge to Edmonton.

Goalies: edge to Sharks.

RandyMarsh’s gutless prediction is Edmonton in 4. (If I’m right I look like a genius)

Dirty D: You know, I feel kind of responsible for this Oilers squad, so I’m gonna give myself a little pat on the back. It also feels like Randy copied my homework as my draft board was filled with a bunch of people he selected before I got a chance to. I’ll put my own ego aside for a bit and take a closer look at this series.

Offensively, Edmonton has an incredibly deep forward core; with speedsters on the wings in Semple and Bejimo, incredible center depth with Beanzy and Ande, and solid backup options in Sniiiider and Vossy– (who can also switch to defense). However, in a series where your backups only need to play once, it comes down to who has the best single line, and it’s pretty tough to beat Randall, Bartlett, and John_Dean, the latter of who just won a Stanley Cup this past season, which makes me give the edge to San Jose.

Defensively, despite a back-to-back cup winner in Hughsy and a Norris trophy front runner in NoScxpe, I think the Sharks are outmatched in this department, and there is only one duo that could do this: Stoopid and Smiirk. Call the latter what you will, he has proven himself to be one of the most dynamic and prolific two way defenders across any league, while I cannot disagree with what Randall said earlier in his assessment of Stoopid. In a battle of backups between Coffey and philmorin, I may need to give the edge to Coffey, and solidify Edmonton’s defensive advantage.  

I feel like Randall just tried to recreate the whole Chicago lineup/dynamic from last season, and in acquiring mrlolchico, he acquired a hell of a goalie to guide the Sharks to the Cup. Across from him, you have Mr. Clarke; one of the community’s most polarizing characters, but one thing that you cannot dispute is his talent between the pipes. The latter made his case for the Vezina this past season, while his counterpart proved to be the missing piece for a San Jose squad that didn’t have a natural goalie all season. This one was really tough, as Clarke was the backbone of the Oilers for the majority of the season, but I think Chico has the experience edge and the nerves to take this series.

Forwards: San Jose Sharks.

Defense: Edmonton Oilers (Papa Smiirk taught me what I need to know about defense).

Goalies: San Jose Sharks.

Dietrich’s dirty prediction is San Jose in 6.

EASTERN CONFERENCE FINALS: Detroit Red Wings (33-9-3) vs Washington Capitals (29-15-1).

Season Series: Wings (5-1-0) Capitals (1-5-0) (Capitals had 1 FF L).

This is another series I would not look too hard at. I checked all games and not once did these 2 teams top line one another, the only game that looked close to it was their final game against each other and Detroit won 4-3.

Washington finished the last 2 weeks strong by going 12-4-2 with 1 game being an FF Loss. While Detroit maintained their steady pace going 15-3-0 to finish the season.

May as well do another G7 comparison to see how these teams’ matchup.

Center: Hypeyy vs Fluri37.

Left Wing: – Chadkillz vs ProdigytoLegend.

Right Wing: – Hardie vs Wardo_05.

Left Defense: – Benji_Frank vs Druwwy/Eggman.

Right Defense: KyleJ83 vs Dustin.

Goalie: SgtVandoos vs Goalieman.

Spare/potential G7 player: – SelkeTommygoat vs Liljxgren.

Randy: I don’t think you could ask for more even forward lines, both teams have some serious firepower on both sides. Wardo and Hardie are both top goal scorers in SP, Fluri and Hypeyy are another solid matchup, chad and prod are great players who produce offense better than majority of players in the league. I honestly don’t know who has the better lineup up front. This series won’t be decided by these players it will most likely be decided by the back end. Detroit has the extra depth with Tommyboii who could easily be placed in for Hypeyy, but I just went with the line that played together most of the season.

KyleJ83 is by far the best defender in this series. Paired with Benji_Frank (or even possibly Hypeyy if tommyboii get slotted in at C) this Detroit blueline has an advantage over the Washington blueline. Eggman, Dustin, and Druwyy aren’t at the caliber of KyleJ, they might be on par with BenjiFrank or Hypey as far as defending goes, but I think Detroit has an advantage here with having D-men who can get the puck up the ice quick and efficiently. 

As far as goalies are concerned, I would say it’s a tossup. Goalieman can play better than he has so far this season, but on the other hand, Vandoos is having another solid playoff performance so far. Washington may attempt to play liljgrxn more as well since he seems to put up solid numbers when given the chance. Slight advantage to Detroit here in this category as well though, because Chadkillz is on this Red Wings team and is more than willing to throw the pads on to get a W if it is needed.

Forwards: Toss up, equal talent.

Defense: Advantage Detroit.

Goalies: Advantage Detroit.

Randy Marsh picks Red Wings in 6.

Dirty D: Before everything went to hell in a handbasket for the Maple Leafs, we were able to compete with both of these teams, but we knew they would eat us alive in a seven game series. Now, let’s see how these two monsters stack up against eachother in a battle reminiscent of Godzilla vs. Kong.

Offensively, these two teams are very similar; they are fast skating, puck moving teams that know how to find each other, and then the back of the net. Hypey, Hardie, and chadkillz have been together since the beginning of the season and have developed chemistry that make them arguably the most lethal line in these playoffs. While Washington has a great core of forwards such as Fluri, Prodigy, Druwyy, and more with a tremendous amount of versatility, they simply can’t match up to the top line that Detroit will ice.

I also think the Red Wings have the best defender in the series in kylej, but they don’t have the talent at the position and ability to ice a defensive pairing that can beat what the Capitals can put out. Eggman is a vet who was all but ruled out by most people, but has been able to hold his own in these playoffs, but he will still play third fiddle to Dustin and WARDO in this coming series. Beantown and Benji are good defenders to pair with kyle, but the edge, in this honest pundit’s opinion, will go to the Caps.

We’re gonna have a little goalie duel this series, as we have last season’s Conn Smythe winner in SgtVandoos against one of the league’s best tandems in goalieman and the Capitals’ secret weapon in Liljxgren. Vandoos has a 2 GAA and .855 SV% with a shutout in these playoffs thus far, meanwhile Eggman didn’t do any stats after the first two games against the Leafs so, not much to report other than Lilly is the real deal and goalieman is always reliable, and they sent us packing and kept us to 7 goals in 4 games after game 1. Vandoos is a stud, but I gotta go with a recency bias here and give the edge to Washington.

Forwards: Advantage Detroit.

Defense: Advantage Washington.

Goalies: Advantage Washington.

Dirty-Dietrich picks the Capitals in 7. 

Here are the SP former and current player picks for next series (with a few new additions):

Polar1387 did not make a pick between Edmonton and San Jose because (and I quote) ‘I refuse to pick between the boys’. Gutless!

As the Final Four prepare themselves for some of the most challenging hockey they’ve played in months (maybe years!), they must remind themselves of the game they need to play; they need to play a tight, trap based defense and use speed to capitalize on opportunities created by mistakes. Goaltenders need to be on the money, as we have forward lines who move the rock better than miners in a quarry. Lastly, team owners need to lead by example and make sure that their squads keep their composure and keep pushing forward. You’re eight wins away from a Stanley Cup, so you better give it your all.

Randall is the best, isn’t he? He basically provided us with all the numbers and the information we needed to analyze this series, and makes my job as a media correspondent incredibly easy; while I highly doubt it, I hope he has an easy time guiding his Sharks against the Oilers this week, but good luck to those two teams as well as the Capitals and the Red Wings this upcoming week! Additionally, a special shoutout, as always, to SA_Pliskin and Cuban1616 as they deliver the SPNHL Podcast on a weekly basis despite their fortunes this season. Endurance!

Good luck to everybody this upcoming week!

SPNHL Media Correspondents Extraordinaire,

Dirty-Dietrich & randymarsh2012

SPNHL Season 44: Playoff Preview, Round One – “Playoffs in August? Huh?”

By: Dirty-Dietrich & randymarsh2012

So, I’ve been trying to track down a PlayStation 5 for the past few weeks, and it seems impossible to find. I’ve checked GameStop, Walmart, Costco, Santa’s Workshop (they’re closed for the summer season) and more, and nobody seems to have them. I’ve been told by GameStop to check back during the third week of August, an oddly specific time, so hopefully that works. If you know of any place to get one, hit me up. Also, if you try to resell one and gouge me, then I’ll send over some friends to gouge you; this one may be a bit more physical. 

…and then there were eight. Eight teams, four from each conference, have advanced to the playoffs to vie for the most prestigious title in the SPNHL (unless you’ve seen the Discord recently, you would think that the Vezina trophy would be it). After six challenging weeks involving forfeits, blackouts, holidays, and seemingly every other obstacle in the book, the wheat has been separated from the chaff, and we have some grueling, exciting hockey in store. Unfortunately, Philadelphia’s disastrous season and Colorado’s disappointing campaign have prevented them from advancing to the playoffs. To SA_Pliskin and Cuban1616, better luck next season, and to quote Anti–Flag: “The time has come to say goodnight, the time has come to say goodbye to the old guard”.

Despite the up-and-down forfeit filled regular season, we have ourselves some good hockey lined up for these upcoming playoffs! Here is a breakdown of each 1st round matchup with comments from both RandyMarsh and Dirty D, and some extra predictions from current and former SP players. Fortunately for Dirty-D, Randys a hustler baby (woo!) and did the majority of the work for this section; the former is a lazy prick who was too busy going to vegan food festivals this past weekend. Let’s break it down and start in the Western Conference!

WESTERN CONFERENCE

San Jose Sharks (41-4-0) vs Vegas Golden Knights (15-27-3).

Season Series: Sharks (6-0-0) Vegas (0-5-1).

Series X-Factors: SJ: Bartlett–67 (158pts) VGK: ThaFoSix (191 hits).

Players to keep an eye on:

SJ: John_Dean_16, Hughsy28, Noscxpe96, RandyMarsh2012.

VGK: Shxperd, Shock_r, Sauc—y, Wheelchairdevon.

randymarsh2012: If there’s one thing I could say about this Golden Knight team, it’s that they’re gutless pricks and they don’t give you anything easy. Sharks took the season series winning all 6, but in 3 of those contests’ games were decided by one goal, and in 2 other contests Sharks won by 2 goals. Expect this Vegas team to come out hard, play tight man to man coverage, and lay the body every chance they get. If the Sharks take these guys’ lightly at all they will find themselves in a tough spot.

San Jose in 5.

Dirty-Dietrich: You have to give credit where credit is due; the Vegas Golden Knights made the playoffs after a tumultuous season. However, they must be gluttons for punishment, as they drew a first round matchup with the San Jose Sharks, a team that tied the record for the most wins in a 41 game season. Vegas has a solid back end, with reliable options on defense and goaltending, but the incredible offense and stacked lineup that the Sharks bring to the table will be too much to overcome. Maybe you should have held onto some of your decent forwards instead of trading them all away? Something to think about, Shocky.

San Jose in 4.

Fluri37: Sharks in 4.

Hughsy28: Sharks in 4.

CClarke: Sharks in 4.

YoJonsn: Sharks in 4.

WheelChairDevon: Sharks in 5 – “I’ll shutdown that gutless RandyMarsh at least one game”.

Cpenn: Sharks in 4.

KidMoney: Sharks in 4.

Fishhure: Sharks in 4.

Polar1387: Sharks in 4.

El_Rookie: Sharks in 5.

FreezeMothaSucka: Sharks in 4.

Hardie: Sharks in 4.

Tommyboii: Sharks in 4.

ThaFoSix: Knights in 7.

Edmonton Oilers (25-16-4) vs Seattle Kraken (17-25-3).

Season Series: Oilers (4-2-0) Kraken (2-4-0).

Series X-Factors: EDM: xBeanZy- (81pts) SEA: Blade0Muffin (75.40SV%).

Players to keep an eye on:

EDM: Ustoopid, Someonestopmepls, Semple19, BejimoSzn.

SEA: FreezeMothaSucka, Spelliscy_21, iearntofiy, NowYoDead.

randymarsh2012: The Kraken have their hands full with these Oilers with the talent they have in their starting 6 as well as the depth in their roster. The Kraken have proven they can beat the Oilers but when playoff hockey comes around it’s a whole different ball game. Kraken will need to stay more disciplined than they have during the regular season because these Oilers will make them pay for it. If the Oilers take these guys lightly, they will find themselves in some trouble though. Blade0Muffin has proven time and time again that he’s a tough goalie to score on. If Edmonton falls behind in the score it won’t be an easy hole to climb out of.

Edmonton in 5.

Dirty-Dietrich: Seattle surprised a lot of people and took the third spot in the Western conference, but they now must prepare for a series with one of the league’s most dangerous teams in Edmonton. The Kraken relied on consistency, tenacity, and contributions from their two best players in Freeze and Blade, but their feel-good story will not match up to the sheer amount of talent that Edmonton has on their roster. I feel like Blade will steal a game for the Kraken this series, but his counterpart between the pipes in Clark will pick up 4 wins in a relatively easy series for the Oilers.

Edmonton in 5.

Fluri37: Oilers in 5.

Hughsy28: Oilers in 5.

CClarke: Oilers in 5 – “Hi Mom, Dad, and Randy as well, and I love Jacob Dietrich”.

YoJonsn: Oilers in 6.

WheelChairDevon: Oilers in 6.

Cpenn: Oilers in 4.

KidMoney: Oilers in 5.

Fishhure: Oilers in 5.

Polar1387: Oilers 5.

El_Rookie: Oilers in 5.

FreezeMothaSucka: Oilers in 5.

Hardie: Oilers in 4.

Tommyboii: Oilers in 4.

ThaFoSix: Oilers in 6 – “Clarke will carry”.

Detroit Red Wings (33-9-3) vs Montreal Canadiens (19-26-0)

Season Series: Wings (5-1-0) Habs (1-5-0)

Series X-Factors: DET: Hxrdie- (146pts) MTL: Reapz (79pts)

Players to keep an eye on:

DET: Hypeyy, KyleJ83, Chadkillz134, SelkeTommygoat.

MTL: LeCupidon, Chief2step, Kidmoney, Brazghostt.

randymarsh2012: Red Wings suck, Hardie sucks, Habs in 4.

…That’s what I wish I could say, but these Red Wings are no joke, they’ve dominated all season and will look to continue that into the playoffs. The Red Wings have a deep roster and will be a near impossible hill for Montreal to climb. 

Montreal has done very well of playing the upset card in seasons past, the combination of Reapz and LeCupidon cannot be underestimated. Having said that, it looks like they’ll need a miracle from Brazghostt if they want to beat these guys and I’m not sure how many miracles the former Vezina winner has left in him. 

Detroit in 5.

Dirty-Dietrich: In a rematch from the first round of last season, chadkillz134 and Reapz2313 find themselves preparing for seven games against each other. Montreal has chemistry on their side, as Kidmon3y, LeCupidon, and Reapz know each other like the back of their hand. However, this is Detroit’s series to lose, hell, even conference to lose. Hxrdie-, hypeyy-, and chadkillz are a line that overwhelmed defenses this season, and given the instability of the Canadien’s defensive core, that’s not going to change anytime soon. Nonetheless, I saw this Montreal team take the Eastern conference champions to 7 games last season, so I’ll give them a couple close wins.

Detroit in 6. 

Fluri37: Wings in 4.

Hughsy28: Wings in 6.

CClarke: Wings in 5.

YoJonsn: Wings in 5.

WheelChairDevon: Wings in 5.

Cpenn: Wings in 4.

KidMoney: Canadiens in 7.

Fishhure: Wings in 5.

Polar1387: Wings in 5.

El_Rookie: Wings in 4.

FreezeMothaSucka: Wings in 6.

Hardie: Wings in 5.

Tommyboii: Wings in 5.

ThaFoSix: Wings “In a not so close” 5.

Washington Capitals (29-15-1) vs Toronto Maple Leafs (25-17-3)

Season Series: Caps (4-2-1) Leafs (3-3-1) *1 FF Win for Toronto.

Series X-Factors: WSH: Fluri37 (96pts) TOR: YoJonsn (65pts).

Players to keep an eye on: 

WSH: ProdigyToLegend, Wardo_05, Goalieman92, ll-Dustin-ll.

TOR: KarlssonisGod, Jcpens22, LilChappy, Sorokinl30l.

randymarsh2012: This series will be the most interesting of all 4 of the first round. Washington powered their way up to 2nd in the Standings after being 3rd most of the season. Toronto was dominant to start the season but trailed off near the end giving up that 2nd spot and falling to 3rd. 

Washington’s strength is their offensive core, while Toronto has been one of the best defensive teams this season. This series will come down to whether Toronto’s offense can start clicking and get some pucks in the net or will Washington’s offense be too overwhelming for this Leafs squad. These guys played twice at the end of the season with Washington winning both to secure that 2nd place finish. Were those games a huge tell on how the series will play out? Washington to me is the favorite in this series.

Washington in 6.

Dirty-Dietrich: The Leafs fell off a cliff in the last few weeks of the season, with some personnel issues and poor performances taking home ice advantage away from them this series. Meanwhile, the Capitals caught fire and decimated the Leafs in the final two games of the season, which many thought would be indicative of the upcoming series. However, the Leafs are a scrappy team that plays defense first, and as the old adage goes, defense wins championships. Will that defense be enough to shut down a surging Capitals team? This author is a bit biased, so I’ll say yes, but I’ll say that it might be one of the toughest series I’ll ever have played in. Eggman, getcho skates on and get on the ice.

Toronto in 6.

Fluri37: Caps in 5.

Hughsy28: Caps in 6.

CClarke: Leafs in 6.

YoJonsn: Leafs in 4.

WheelChairDevon: Leafs in 7.

Cpenn: Caps in 4.

KidMoney: Caps in 6.

Fishhure: Caps in 6.

Polar1387: Caps in 6.

El_Rookie: Caps in 6.

FreezeMothaSucka: Caps in 6.

Hardie: Caps in 6.

Tommyboii: Caps in 6.

ThaFoSix: Caps in a “hard fought” 6.

Well, the time is almost upon us; there are a little more than 24 hours until 4 respective game ones are played to kick the SPNHL playoffs off. In the meantime, players need to keep their cool, get their thumbs in check, and maybe detox a bit after a hot, humid weekend in which copious amounts of alcohol were consumed. There’s gonna be some gritty hockey played over the course of this week, and for four teams, for the weeks to come. As somebody who has (somehow) won cups in multiple leagues, my advice is simple: keep moving the rock, keep it out of your zone, and keep your head up. You win these next four games, and you’re a third of the way there.

Despite my adding my part and posting it quite late, we were still able to get this out to you and it’s all because of Randall’s hard work. You can check it out on the website where he broke down the end of the regular season in three fantastic, deep articles. The guy has been busting his tail and deserves a massive amount of credit for his hard work this season; as do Pliskin and Cuban for the SPNHL Podcast. Despite facing challenges on a daily basis all season, those two still got together and made sure we had content for all of our ears to enjoy. 

Good luck this week, everybody! 

SPNHL Media Correspondents Extraordinaire,

Dirty-Dietrich & randymarsh2012

SPNHL Season 44: Week Five Review/Power Rankings – “Everything Falls Apart”

By: Dirty-Dietrich & randymarsh2012

I moved this past weekend and, oh my goodness, I vehemently recommend never moving in the summertime. Down on the loading dock in the new place, it felt like I was on the Sahara; fortunately, there were about eight of us so we were out of there in under an hour. While my buddy and I were waiting for the U-Haul truck, somebody posited the idea of moving during the winter, and I couldn’t help but shudder at the thought of my nice clothes and furniture being covered in slush. Yikes!

6 games remain in a highly competitive season of the SPNHL, and the playoff picture is starting to come together like an overpriced puzzle; teams are making late pushes to gain home-ice advantage for the playoffs, while some teams are looking to scrap their way into a playoff spot in the highly competitive Western conference. Detroit and San Jose have remained stalwarts all season, while Edmonton and Washington are starting to gain momentum at the perfect time. Meanwhile, Vegas, Seattle, and Colorado are only separated by five points as they fight for the final two spots in the West, while Toronto and Montreal are looking to fix their problems in time for the quest for the Stanley Cup. Better luck next season, Philadelphia!

Call me Jakey Lahey as I’m practically joined at the hip with Randy these days (I could be Gerald Broflovski or Sharon Marsh and keep with the South Park theme, but I like Trailer Park Boys more), and we’ll keep with the same formula! Randall will cover the Eastern conference, and I’ll take care of the West. We’ll recap overall and weekly performances, analyze strengths and weaknesses, and highlight team’s most valuable players and unsung heroes (since Hxrdie refuses to do it, gutless bastard).

I’m getting off topic. Let’s start with the Eastern conference!

EASTERN CONFERENCE

  1. Detroit Red Wings.

Last Week Rank: 1.

Overall Record: 27-9-3.

Weekly Record: 6-3-0.

Strength: Offense.

Weakness: Chad’s party presence.

MVP: KyleJ83, leads defense in scoring.

Unsung Hero: xquizT-kys, 14GP, 13pts, +25 on defense.

A slight off week for the Wings; their availability wasn’t too hot as they had to use some TC/ECU players in 2 of 3 nights. Not enough to drop them out of the number 1 spot though. They beat the Sharks for the first time this season in a nice comeback W, being down 4-2 and managing to win 5-4 with 10 seconds left in the game. They did have a disappointing loss to Seattle, a team they typically wouldn’t lose to.

KyleJ gets the MVP of the team this week, being a top defender for this team and leading the league in points for defense, this team would be only half as good without him back there on RD. Quiztky has had a nice quiet solid season for the wings and played a lot for them this week, he signed up as RW but played majority of his games this season on D and doing it well. Quiz deserves a nice pat on the back for filling the necessary holes for this Red Wings team when called upon and being successful. This Red Wings team needs 5pts in the last 6 games to clinch the top spot in the East, If Washington wins their last 6 games of the season.

  1. Washington Capitals

Last Week Rank: 3.

Overall Record: 24-14-1.

Weekly Record: 7-1-1.

Strength: Offense.

Weakness: Goaltending.

MVP: Wardo_05, 4.2ppg on forward, 2.0ppg on Defense.

Unsung Hero: Dustin, 10GP on forward, 10GP on defense.

The Capitals move up to the 2nd spot in the power rankings this week after going 7-1-1 (with one of those losses being an FFL) and overtaking Toronto for 2nd spot in the East as well by 2pts. This Capitals team came out of the gate late, but are storming their way up to the top and showing they are a force to be reckoned with. In the past 3 weeks (excluding FF games) they are averaging a 5.47 goals per game which is at the same pace as the other top teams in the league.

They still need to work on their defense and goaltending though, all 3 of Washingtons main goalies are averaging a 71.39SV% with the best goalie having a 73.53SV%. If they can start to shut down other teams’ offense and get some more saves these guys will be a serious threat in the playoffs. Having Dustin and Wardo both as versatile players on both F and D seem to have improved this teams success.

  1. Toronto Maple Leafs

Last Week Rank: 2.

Overall Record: 22-14-3

Weekly Record: 3-6-0.

Strength: PK.

Weakness: Offense.

MVP: Uberpwned6969 14GP, 14pts.

Unsung Hero: Monokuuu, 21GP, +6.52 GV:TK.

Terrible week for the Leafs as they drop down to 3rd in the East and lose 6 of 9 games. Availability looks to be the main contributor to the lack of success as Sorokin only played 5 games in nets this week and Bufford didn’t play 1 game between the pipes. This team’s success was driven by being able to protect their goalies and keep games close enough so that the offense only needed 3-4 goals to win, unfortunately none of those things seemed to come together for these guys this week. Good news for this team is that they won’t fall past 3rd in the standings since Montreal is too far back, but they have to start getting playoff ready now if they want to be able to compete with Washington or Detroit.

Uberpwned gets the MVP this week, contributing to this squads offense while still trying to support the goaltending. Unsung hero is Monokuuu, who has been a solid stay at home dman for these guys all season and limiting his turnovers.

  1. Montreal Canadiens.

Last Week Rank: 4.

Overall Record: 17-22-0.

Weekly Record: 5-4-0.

Strength: Offense.

Weakness: Defense, PK.

MVP: BrazGhostt 19GP, 76.92SV%.

Unsung Hero: ChiefTrout 13GP, 10pts on D.

These Canadiens grabbed 3 FFW’s this week which means they actually went 2-4-0. Their availability has been all over the place, but they still are lacking on the defensive side of the puck. If Philadelphia didn’t crumble after week 2 I don’t know if these guys would be sitting in a playoff spot or not. Brazghostt is facing 15+ shots a game and keeping these guys close every time he is in nets, he needs more support and for the defense to keep chances to the outside and not in the middle or across the crease.

ChiefTrout is another player who signed up to play forward but has been asked to play D for this squad more often than not. He’s been doing solid and only is a -2 on a losing squad.

  1. Philadelphia Flyers

Last Week Rank: 5

Overall Record: 8-31-0

Weekly Record: 0-9-0.

Strength: Getting the jump on golf season.

Weakness: FF, FF, FF.

MVP: El Rookie, for continuing to not have a quitting attitude as well as being their best player.

Unsung Hero: Blackfire 4GP, 8pts.

This team played 1 game this week against Edmonton and lost 9-6. The last game they played was against Edmonton as well and lost 9-0. Maybe try showing up against another team other than Edmonton? Might have better luck grabbing a W. This is the week for these guys to potentially play the upset card, would love to see it happen.

El_rookie is still involved trying to get the games played but isn’t having much luck, hats off to Blackfire as well for showing up even though it ends up being an FF anyways.

WESTERN CONFERENCE

1. San Jose Sharks.

Last Week’s Ranking: 1.

Overall Record: 35-4-0.

Weekly Record: 8-1-0.

Strength: Offense (196 goals, most in the league).

Weakness: I got nothing; pressure to tie the record for most wins in 45 games?

MVP: Bartlett-67 (leads league in games played at forward with 36 and assists with 88).

Unsung Hero: Philmorin (9 games in net with 8 wins, and 12 games at D with a +27 rating).

It’s going to be incredibly difficult to contend with these Sharks as they are on a roll into the playoffs; with 1 loss in their past 2 weeks, San Jose remains the team to beat due to their nuclear firepower from all positions on the ice. NoScxpe96 and Hughsy28- are two tremendously talented defenders, with the former continuing his Norris caliber season with 37 points (2nd most at the position). mrlolchico13 has filled the void in net left by skillz, and is undefeated with his new team while possessing a 0.833 SV% and a sub-2 GAA. John_Dean_16 has slotted in perfectly between Randymarsh2012 (second in the goal scoring race with 65) and Bartlett-67, as he has a 4 PPG with an impressive 53.33% faceoff win percentage.

Shoutout to Philmorin, as he has been with the Sharks all season long and has been a consistent producer on defense and reliable in net. You don’t stay on the best team in the league if you aren’t a good hand to have around, and this team has plenty of good hands that will guide them to a deep playoff run.

2. Edmonton Oilers.

Last Week’s Ranking: 2.

Overall Record: 24-12-3.

Weekly Record:  8-1-0.

Strength: Offense (158 goals for, third most in the league).

Weakness: Penalty Kill (74.5%, fourth lowest in the league).

MVP: xBeanZy- (78 points in 22 games played, and leads the team with a +57 rating).

Unsung Hero: Ande91- (2 PPG in 16 games at forward, 1.3 PPG in 13 games at D).

This is the team we have been waiting for all season; despite one blemish on their record, the Oilers had a perfect week as we start to see the team become more available. Semple19’s arrival has solidified the forward core, and has 29 goals in 13 games played for Edmonton, while leading the team with 3.8 PPG. SomeoneStopMePls and uStooPiiD’s offensive production at defense continues to be among the league’s best, with both players in the top 8 for PPG at defense, while Coffey-lidstrom remains a reliable hand. With Sniiiider and BejimoSzn as RW options for xBeanZy- and Semple, Edmonton can roll any line they want and dominate these playoffs.

Along with XxGrahame_47xX, Ande91- has been a crucial part of the Oilers squad all season, living up to his reputation as one of the league’s best two way players. Playing in all but 10 of their games, Ande has excelled and kept Edmonton in contention through tough times; now, he will be a part of a loaded Oilers squad looking to win the Stanley Cup.

3. Colorado Avalanche.

Last Week’s Ranking: 5.

Overall Record: 11-22-6.

Weekly Record: 3-3-3.

Strength: Scrappiness (6 overtime losses; this team knows how to work).

Weakness: Defense (154 goals against, most in the league).

MVP: cpenn4204 (38 points in 16 games played, leads the team with 22 goals).

Unsung Hero: Beeper_tha_1st_a (14 games played at D, another Colorado lifer).

Many questioned SA_Pliskin’s decision to bring zercylol and iZincyi into the fold in Colorado, sending off two talented and reliable players in Tommy and Benji for them. However, their arrival has helped rejuvenate the Avalanche, who jumped into a playoff spot after a respectable week. The two have combined for 19 goals and 38 points since their arrival, and have become stellar linemates for cpenn4204, forming an effective scoring trio. With their offense solidified, the Avalanche need to close the revolving door of defenders and goaltenders and settle on permanent pairings; Pliskin could stick between the pipes and make a reliable tandem with FxtDino-, meanwhile he could leave defensive duties in the hands of Gooberdude99 and Beeper_tha_1st_a .

Beeper has been there from the start and has the most points per game of any active Avalanche defender; he’s also one to keep your head up for when you’re on the ice, as he has racked up 102 hits in 14 games played at D. This scrappiness and tenacity at defense could give Colorado the spark they need to hold onto their spot in a tight playoff race.

4. Seattle Kraken.

Last Week’s Ranking: 4.

Overall Record: 15-22-2.

Weekly Record: 3-6-0.

Strength: Penalty Kill (77.4%, third highest in the league).

Weakness: Powerplay (19.7% conversion, third lowest in the league).

MVP: Blade0Muffin (430 shots against in 28 games played, averaging 15 shots against and still has under 4 GAA).

Unsung Hero: NowYoDead (26 games played, 28 points, and justifying his first round selection).

These guys beat us twice last week; don’t let their record fool you, this is a good team (either that or we suck, a highly probable option) that just had an off week. They still have a reliable defense pairing in NowYoDead and Teamrun420, and with an alternate of Damorien, they can hold their ground in front of Blade0Muffin, who is making a late run for a Vezina nomination (just look at the stats above and talk to ProdigyToLegend). Meanwhile, Spelliscy_21 and iearntofly continue to be reliable support to FreezeMothaSucka; his 31 games played lead the team and his 72 points have surpassed everyone’s expectations while keeping the Kraken competitive.

NowYoDead drew a lot of heat when he was selected at the end of the first round this season, but has quietly had a great season at the blue line and has emerged as one of the more underrated defenders in the league. Seattle has a point over Vegas in a tight playoff race, and are determined to keep that spot.

5. Vegas Golden Knights.

Last Week’s Ranking: 3.

Overall Record: 12-24-3.

Weekly Record: 2-7-0.

Strength: Optimism and Proximity (they’re still in the thick of it and fighting for a playoff spot).

Weakness: Defense (152 goals against, second highest in the league).

MVP: Shock_r (30 games played since taking over as GM; 17 in net, 7 at forward, and 6 at defense).

Unsung Hero: ThaFoSix (172 hits in 25 games for the Knights; the ol’ heart and soul!).

The Golden Knights had a disastrous week, going 2-7 and falling out of their playoff spot; fortunately, as noted above, they’re only one point back and have the talent to rebound quickly. Shock_r is a reliable, fringe starting goaltender (he can be shaky at times, I played with him for two months and still have nightmares) and having acquired Wheelchairdevon8 for goaltending help gives him a solid option for when he needs a night off. Defensively, ThaFoSix still carries the Vegas flag, and with partners in vVxsion and xshepxrd (another criminally underrated defender), they can hold their own and help claw back into a playoff spot. Offensively, it seems like MazelTovMalkin and Sauc—y will be the parts that complete the Knights’ top line with FatSolhouette, who leads the team with a lowly 15 points.

Hopefully their offense can pick things up this week, and maybe control the puck a bit more to take the pressure off a defensive and goaltending core that have underachieved this season. In the meantime, give ThaFoSix the captaincy and let him rally the troops as they fight Seattle for that last spot. 

Yeah, this article is a few days late, but I’ve been busy and moving and such. GET OVER IT. Nonetheless, with 6 games left in the season, the East is all but decided but the 3rd and 4th spot in the West is still anybody’s game; will the Avalanche continue to do damage as they climb the standings? Will the Kraken stop their slide and hold onto the fourth playoff spot in the conference? Will the Golden Knights rebound and secure the final playoff spot? Meanwhile, Detroit and Montreal are preparing for their series as Reapz and chadkillz meet in the first round of the playoffs for the second season in a row, and the Leafs and Capitals are preparing for what should (hopefully) be the most competitive series of the first round.

Randall, you’ve outdone yourself again with the “unsung heroes” concept, which Hxrdie said he was going to do but dropped the ball on (too busy leading the league in points, I guess). A big thank you to him for his coverage of the Eastern conference, and as always, a special shoutout to him, cuban1616, and Pliskin for their job on the SPNHL Podcast, available every Monday wherever you get your podcasts.

If you like the intro music, it’s “Bulls on Parade” by Rage Against the Machine. You should go listen to all 4 of their excellent studio albums. 

Good luck to everybody this week, we’ll see you on the ice!

SPNHL Media Correspondents Extraordinaire,

Dirty-Dietrich & randymarsh2012

SPNHL Season 44: Weekly Review – “46% Burnt”

SPNHL Season 44: Weekly Review – “46% Burnt”

By: Dirty-Dietrich & randymarsh2012

Why, hello! It’s been a while, hasn’t it? How have you been? Good, I hope! I’ve had my fair share of developments over the past two years: I graduated from a university that elected to rename itself in the midst of a pandemic, I worked as a grocery store manager where I got yelled at by some crazy lady and got featured on BlogTO, and I started a new relationship with a partner that brought me further into the core of downtown Toronto where I got to see just how… unique this city really is. I haven’t gotten a chance to go to a Leafs game yet, but maybe I saved myself from disappointment.

Traditionally, this would be the halfway point of the season, but due to holidays, nationwide internet outages, and other obstacles, we find ourselves through exactly 46% of the season. Close enough one might say, but we’re all about semantics over here. We’ve seen blockbuster trades, GMs get fired, and much more that has all but become par for the course here in the SPNHL. Favourites have emerged, teams have fallen apart, and stars have emerged as we get closer to the trade deadline (which was so graciously pushed back by SA_Pliskin, thank you sir).

Everybody’s favourite media correspondent randymarsh2012 has agreed to let me write the weekly review with him! To avoid bias, and take a bit of the load off ourselves (save the jokes for the chat, you degenerates), we’ll be giving our review of each other’s conference. We’ll be looking at their strengths, weaknesses, MVPs, and some areas they need to address as the trade deadline looms. Some folks will be happy, some will be upset, but some should SHUTCHO DUMB ASS UP and make a media contribution; then you can complain.

Let’s start with the Eastern conference!

EASTERN CONFERENCE

1. Detroit Red Wings.

Overall Record: 15-4-2.

Weekly Record: 7-2-0 (W7).

Strength: Everything.

Weakness: Nothing.

MVP: Hxrdie, 43 goals and 78 points, leads the league in both categories.

Trade Bait: iZinczyi, Zercylol.

The Red Wings are an offensive and defensive powerhouse this season, having the 2nd most goals for in the league (104) and the least goals against (53). kyleJ83 and hypey- being the new d-pair for this top line of Hxrdie, iZinczyi, and zercylol with chadkillz134 now stepping back between the pipes and posting a 6-2 record with a 1.75GAA and 83.33%. These guys look to be the most well-rounded team in the whole league, and still are the favourites to win the cup. I put Zercylol and iZinczyi as trade bait because the trade they made earlier in the week has forced Hxrdie to C, which hasn’t proven to be a bad move, but they could upgrade on left wing and at centre by using those guys as trade bait since Zinczy has C refused. I could see chad making a move that would allow Hxrdie to go back to RW.

2. Toronto Maple Leafs

Overall Record: 14-4-3.

Weekly Record: 7-2-0 (W1).

Strength: Defense, Goaltending, Penalty Kill.

Weakness: Offense.

MVP: YoJonsn, 17 GP, 158 GV, 61 TK, 105 INT.

Trade Bait: KarlssonIsGod, Jcpens22.

The Leafs have proven to be one of the most solid defensive teams in the league with all but 2 of their players (forwards included) having positive GV:TK ratios with YoJonsn putting a Selke season together so far, being the most heavily played forward and having a +0.47 GV:TK ratio. Toronto’s goaltending has really been a positive factor with these guys as well; Bufford must’ve read the hot or not article and decided to do something about it. Sorokin’s numbers are slightly skewed since he was involved in a day loan trade with the Sharks where he had 2 losses. Dirty-Dietrich also has stepped up his game on defense, putting up a +9.56 GV:TK ratio followed by Monokuuu with a +8.25. Toronto made a shocking trade in the SP world last week by moving their most offensive forward BejimoSzn for Lilchapy (who was putting up average numbers in Edmonton), which was a bit of a headscratcher since offense was the one thing this team needed the most and battling hard for the #1 spot in the East with Detroit. KarlssonIsGod and Jcpens22 are two left wingers that I see Toronto moving before the deadline to possibly re-acquire a #1 scoring RW to complete a strong forward line for playoffs.

3. Washington Capitals

Overall Record: 10-11-0.

Weekly Record:  3-6-0 (L4).

Strength: Offense.

Weakness: Defense.

MVP: Semple19, 11GP, 26G, 44pts (tied for 4th in the league in goals).

Trade Bait: ProdigytoLegend, Semple19.

This Capitals team has had a rough week, posting 2 FF’s and 4 regulation losses through 7 games played. It appears this team is in dire need of a 1st line C or RW; forcing ProdigyToLegend to play C on this top line is not working out for them as well as it did to start the season. Also, ll-Dustin-II should be sticking to playing defense, where he was contributing much more to this squad. It’s tough to give a proper breakdown through these losses as no stats have been updated since Thursday’s games. I have Semple19 and Prodigy who are both primary LW’s as this team’s trade bait; if these guys want to continue to compete for a chance at a cup one of these guys will have to go for a top line centre or right wing. 

4. Montreal Canadiens.

Overall Record: 10-11-0.

Weekly Record: 5-4-0 (W3).

Strength: Offense.

Weakness: Defense.

MVP: LeCupidon, 16GP, 20G, 52pts (4th in the league in points).

Trade Bait: Jhursi.

This Montreal Canadians team is slowly regrouping, and have moved from last to a tie for 3rd in the East. LeCupidon is leading this team’s offense with Reapz2313 right there behind him, putting the puck in the net with 31 goals on the season. The defense on this squad seem to rely heavily on Brazghostt when he is in net, as his numbers aren’t as great as they were last season, while his 3-7 record is a tough look. These guys need to get back to playing that style where they protect their star goaltender and capitalize on turnovers. I’m assuming some weak avail has also caused some trouble for these guys as well; Jhursi is someone they’d like to move since he has only 3GP for this team so far. They need a guy who will be there for 6 of 9 games each week.

5. Philadelphia Flyers.

Overall Record: 7-14-0.

Weekly Record: 0-9 (L9).

Strength: N/A.

Weakness: Everything.

MVP: Kidmoney (7GP, 3.0PPG)

Trade Bait: Wardo_05, Staleee-.

Where do I even start with these guys? They had a great night 2 weeks ago which put this team on the map, and then the wheels completely fell off this week. Going 0-6 with frustrations rising caused this team to make a trade to really shake things up, flipping Lxppy–, Hughsy28-, PickleTickler69, Druwyy, and Frody410 to the Sharks for WARDO-05, Staleee-, Nxbxr-, Ice_uck97, and FLINN_21-Xx21xX. I don’t see Wardo and Staleee saving this team, but they’re 2 guys who can play at an elite level and maybe get this team going back in the right direction with some good availability. I have Wardo and Staleee as trade bait on this team since both guys would be an asset to any team, and can get some great value back; Wardo’s 9.5M contract will be tough to move though.

WESTERN CONFERENCE

1. San Jose Sharks.

Overall Record: 18-3-0.

Weekly Record: 8-1-0 (W5).

Strength: Offense (109 goals for, 1st in the league).

Weakness: I got nothing here… pressure? Expectations?

MVP: Bartlett-67 (54 assists, leads the league, second in the league with 72 points).

Trade Bait: Philmorin.

The Sharks have been unstoppable out of the gate, and with the move Randall just made to acquire Hughsy28- and Lxppy- from Philadelphia, they became all but the favourite to emerge as the Western Conference champions. Lxppy- will slot nicely along Randall (second in the league in goals) and Bartlett-67. NoScxpe96 is having a Norris calibre season, and acquiring Hughsy will give San Jose one of the best defensive pairings in the league. Itsjustskillzz_ has made a seamless transition to net, and is undefeated in 9 starts this season with a .750 SV% and a 2.33 GAA. I listed Philmorin as trade bait here, as I think they could get a better backup for skillzz and could run Frody410 and Druwyy as a backup defensive pairing. However, the Sharks don’t need to change a thing right now; keep it up Randall!

2. Seattle Kraken.

Overall Record: 9-11-1.

Weekly Record: 6-2-1 (L1).

Strength: Depth (good players with good availability have helped Seattle’s resurgence).

Weakness: Defense (80 goals against, 3rd most in the league).

MVP: FreezeMothaSucka (leads the Kraken with 16 goals and 22 assists in 14 games).

Trade Bait: Spelliscy_21.

Cockroaches! Despite numerous forfeits and nearly being written off at the beginning of the season, Seattle has emerged as this season’s Cinderella story. Iearntofly had a lot of people shaking their heads when Teamrun420 and NowYoDead were the first players selected to the Kraken, but they have formed a reliable pairing for the team as a defensive-offensive combination. They have been solid in front of Blade0Muffin, who has a GAA that’s just over 4, but has faced 60 more shots than any other goaltender in the league. Meanwhile, FreezeMothaSucka is Seattle’s driving offensive force, and could lead a great line with Fly and Gamertagrequird (who would probably hunt me down if I drafted him just to trade him again). Gamer/Minor seems to have found instant chemistry with that line, which makes Spelliscy_21 expendable. With a 2.3 GAA, he could be moved for another defender to help out NYD and Teamrun, and give Seattle some depth for a playoff run.

3. Edmonton Oilers.

Overall Record: 10-9-2.

Weekly Record: 4-5-0 (W1).

Strength: Defense (63 goals against, 4th in the league).

Weakness: Availability (XxGrahame_47xX leads the team with 15 GP).

MVP: xBeanZy- (leads the Oilers with 11 goals and 21 assists in 10 GP).

Trade Bait: Sniiiider.

Another team that was favoured from the onset of the season, Edmonton has somewhat failed to live up to expectations; now, this may be due summer vacations or commitments to other leagues, but if more of this team’s starting 6 were around, they would not have anything remotely close to 9 losses. We see how proflic uStooPiiD and SomeoneStopMePls are as defenders (both scoring over 1.5 PPG in 6 GP), but Coffey-lidstrom is their most employed defender, who is at -6. Beanzy can play LW more consistently with Ande91-, a great two-way centre, and their goal scoring will improve with the acquisition of speedster BejimoSzn from Toronto (I’ll miss you, Bej!). This will solidfy their starting 6 with a fantastic right wing, which now makes Sniiiider, who has 10 goals in 6 games, expendable. Maybe the Oilers can use him to acquire a backup G option for XxGrahame_47xX, who has performed well this season with a 3 GAA but could use a bit of a break between the pipes. Nonetheless, expect the Oilers to be one of the better teams in the league over the next 2 weeks. 

4. Vegas Golden Knights.

Overall Record: 6-13-2.

Weekly Record: 3-6-0 (L1).

Strength: Balls? Resilience? It takes some major cajones to pull off a trade like that.

Weakness: Offense (47 goals for, the least in the league).

MVP: John_Dean_16 (13 goals and 5 assists in 9 games).

Trade Bait: xNitro_96-.

So, the Golden Knights have had an interesting season; their original GM got fired and Shock_r took over. Then, their superstars in iZinczyi and zercylol demanded a trade and got it, being sent to Detroit for Bk_0994, twns_Pepsi, Mrlolchico13, and FatSilhouette (the former ended up quitting). However, despite the overhaul, the team doubled their season’s win total this past week. While Vegas looks weak statistically, they have some solid pieces and could make a formidable line: ThaFoSix has been putting in work for them at D, with 14 games played and a whopping 89 hits, and could benefit from being paired with vVxsion more. Meanwhile, John_Dean_16 could slot in at right wing on a formidable line with Pepsi which would be anchored by Sauc—y. With a backup option in FatSilhouette, that makes xNitro_96- expendable and could easily be moved for another defender. With that line playing in front of Mrlolchico13, Vegas could contend with the upcoming team for the final playoff spot, or could see more players quit and doom this team.

5. Colorado Avalanche.

Overall Record: 6-13-2.

Weekly Record: 1-6-2 (L3).

Strength: Versatility (I could come up with about 3 different starting 6 options for this team).

Weakness: Specialty Teams (55.3% penalty kill (lowest in the league) and 19.5% powerplay (3rd lowest in the league).

MVP: SelkeTommygoat (15 goals and 14 assists in 13 games played, leads the team in all).

Trade Bait: robobeanaz.

What happened here? Colorado had all the pieces they needed to be a highly competitive team from the start of the season, but it seems like things have fallen apart. I blame Pete, the old curmudgeon, who does have the most games played at D, and has 9 points in those 7 games played. If cpenn4204 played more, they would be a formidable puck moving duo. Meanwhile, SelkeTommygoat has been the star for the low scoring Avalanche, while Benji_Frank_100 has been reliable in his limited time at forward. If SA_Pliskin stepped out of the net and let FxtDino- and FlamingMentos handle goaltending duties, he could play LD, move Petey up to wing with Tommy and Benji, and they could ship out robobeanaz; his 2 points per game on an offensively challenged club could raise his stock and earn a helpful return. It’s not too late for the Avalanche, and if they make the playoffs, they could have a deep run.

We’re just under halfway through the season, and there is still plenty of time for the standings to change, teams to be overhauled, and more shenanigans to occur. Teams are starting to find their footing in regards to chemistry, and if the availability improves, we’ll see a return to the contentious nature we saw at the beginning of the season, where it seemed like teams were the most balanced they’ve been in years. However, if we’ve learned anything from the great sedinpower dynasties of the past, all that matters is making it into the playoffs.

A big thank you to randymarsh2012 for taking care of the Eastern conference and giving his thoughtful and insightful analysis on the five teams we got over there. I’m not sure what he said, I’m writing this outro before he even sends me his part so if he said anything bad about the Leafs or my offensive performance this season, you’re right but get bent, Randall. Anyways, make sure to tune into The SPNHL Podcast hosted by Cuban1616 (hopefully he does more than just reread the article this week), and give Hxrdie-’s piece a read!

Good luck to everybody this upcoming week!

SPNHL Media Correspondents Extraordinaire,

Dirty-Dietrich & randymarsh2012

SPNHL, Season 37:Stanley Cup Finals Review and Award Winners – “True Parallels”

SPNHL, Season 37:Stanley Cup Finals Review and Award Winners – “True Parallels”
By: Dirty-Dietrich
 
Sorry about the delay in getting this out, school and work have been kicking my ass. I’m also composing this article with no power! You gotta love the fact that my landlords gave me no heads up that they would be trying to fix their wiring. Maybe they should call an actual electrician? Regardless, I feel like I’m going crazy at this point, and I know I said I would be doing new wave reviews, but in this candlelit craze, there’s only one choice for an album review. Let’s go back to 1994 and revisit Nine Inch Nails’ “The Downward Spiral”,
Seemingly a concept album about somebody’s, well, downward spiral, Trent Reznor sings, sulks, and screams over numerous haunting compositions. The album sets the tone with “Mr. Self Destruct”, a frenetic industrial number that picks up where the “Broken” EP left off. “Piggy”, “Heresy”, and “Hurt” are dark yet  melodic in comparison to the energetic “March of the Pigs”, “Ruiner”, and “Big Man With a Gun” striking a balance in the album’s intensity levels. The ambient tracks in “A Warm Place” and the title track accompany the demented, multi-layered standouts in “Closer”, “The Becoming”, and “Reptile” to create an outstanding record that hits as hard musically as it does lyrically.
 
It’s been about three weeks since the Cup finals, so if you don’t know by now who won, you’re probably living under a rock or have just gone off the grid like the Unabomber. For the uninformed, congratulations are in order for the Sony Playstation Hockey League Season 37 Stanley Cup champions, the Tampa Bay Lightning! Bufford80 and the Bolts completed the comeback story of the century, going from worst to first and fulfilling the prophecy laid out at the beginning of the season. They were able to defeat the Winnipeg Jets in an incredibly exciting 7 game series, one that saw the Jets come back from a 3-1 deficit to force game 7.
Hey the power is back on! Let’s go! All it took was bitching about it in an article!
Congratulations go out to (in somewhat of a particular order) the Lightning GM Bufford80, the Conn Smythe winner bluedevil631, i9i-stamkos-i1ic, hypey-, my boys PistolPete7788_ and DodgesBlueShells, Shootersteele19, all around good guys in JoshuaDuhaime and X-Z3tt3rbergzz-X, and the king of the backups in Xxdiistortedxx. Every single one of these players were instrumental in Tampa Bay’s success in the regular season and the playoffs, and no matter how big or small their role was, they are ingrained into the history of this league. 
Let’s get down to business here. We’ll recap the Stanley Cup finals game by game, and afterwards, we’re gonna get to the awards! We’ll take an in-depth look at the award winners’ performance over the regular season and playoffs, and see how many people we can upset with the selection of these award winners. A lot of people have been clamoring to see who won (not a lot, mainly chadkillz134 asking me a few times a week), so we will wait no longer and see who outshined the others in season 37!
STANLEY CUP FINAL
Tampa Bay Lightning (E) vs. Winnipeg Jets (W)
Winner: Tampa Bay Lightning in 7 games.
DD Prediction: Lightning in 7.
MVP: i9i-stamkos-i1ic.
Man, Prodigy and Bufford kinda suck doing stats, so this may not be as complete as I want it to be. Oh well. We’ll do it live!
Game: 1.
Score: 5-2 Winnipeg.
MVP: ttommyboiii. 
Winnipeg started this series off with a bang and in a resounding 5-2 victory against the President’s Trophy winning Tampa Bay squad. ProdigyToLegend contributed two assists from the point, while i_Zinczy_i_TV matched that total and added two goals. However, ttommyboiii made a strong case for Conn Smythe with this performance, scoring a hat trick while trying to set the tempo for the series. 
Game: 2.
Score: 2-1 Tampa Bay.
MVP: bluedevil631.
The Jets were able to hold the Lightning to two goals for a second consecutive game, however they only matched 20% of their output and scored a single goal to drop game two. I9i-stamkos-i1ic scored a goal while hypey- added two assists, but it was bluedevil631 who remained consistent and matched his first game totals with a goal and an assist in this game. This kind of consistency is so necessary in playoffs, and bluedevil was the perfect example of what it can lead to. 
Game: 3.
Score: 3-1 Tampa Bay.
MVP: i9i-stamkos-i1ic.
The Lightning were able to end Monday night with a win, and take a 2-1 lead in the series after dropping the first game. Tampa Bay were able to add on to their goal total from the first game while remaining defensively responsible and holding the Jets to a goal. PistolPete7788_ and hypey- each scored a goal, Xxdiistortedxx contributed three assists, Bufford80 stopped 13 of 14 shots, and i9i-stamkos-i1ic had a goal and two assists amongst a great team effort to secure the victory.
Game: 4.
Score: 2-1 Tampa Bay.
MVP: bluedevil631.
Bufford didn’t do stats for this game, and whoever inputted the score did so incorrectly, so I don’t have much to report on in this game 4 victory other than what I was able to pull from ItsKingLyme’s stream (thank you for everything you did in the finals coverage, big man). i9i-stamkos-i1ic scored a goal and an assist, and X-Z3tt3rbergzz-X came through when it was his time to shine. bluedevil631 put up another goal and an assist in this performance, one that helped the Bolts push the Jets to the brink of elimination.
Game: 5.
Score: 5-2 Winnipeg.
MVP: ttommyboiii.
Tomm Smythe was out in full force, as the Jets were able to stave off elimination with a victory that saw them return to their game one dominance. Elfpha made his presence felt with a goal and two assists, while Bartlett–98 was a forechecking machine with 4 hits and 5 shots, sharing a hit total with CaptCanada_, who played a great shutdown role for Winnipeg this season. ttommyboiii put up another hat trick as he rallied to get his team back into the series.
Game: 6.
Score: 4-2 Winnipeg.
MVP: Bartlett–98.
Every time Winnipeg won a game in these Stanley Cup finals, somebody had a hat trick. In this game, it was Bartlett–98, who was instrumental in sending the Jets to game 7. ttommyboiii continued his Conn Smythe campaign with three assists in this game, while Elfpha matched his helper count and added a goal. Bartlett–98 proved himself to be a household name in this league, and got himself a spot in game 7.
Game: 7.
Score: 3-1 Tampa Bay.
MVP: bluedevil631.
The game was 2-1 going into the final seconds of the second period when bluedevil631 cut to the middle and was able to bury a goal with three seconds left in the period. This was all the Lightning needed as they were able to win game seven by a score of 3-1, and secure the Stanley Cup. i9i-stamkos-i1ic only notched an assist in this game, but hypey- was able to score two clutch goals for the Bolts. bluedevil631 assisted on both of these goals, and added the insurance marker to cap off a fantastic Stanley Cup finals performance. 
 
SEASON 37 STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS: Tampa Bay Lightning.
Once again, congratulations to the Tampa Bay Lightning on an incredible season and being able to fulfill their own prophecy. It’s an incredible comeback story after Bufford missed the season 36 draft and ended up finishing last in the league with only three wins on the season. However, let’s not forget about the Winnipeg Jets, the Western conference champions, who had a fantastic season that fell one game short of a championship. ProdigyToLegend, ttommyboiii, Elfpha, i_Zinczy_i_TV, Bartlett–98, CaptCanada_, Glachs, dophares2000, Gallagher_11x, and BRANN-THE-MANN should all be very proud of themselves for the campaign they put together. 
 
AWARDS
Let’s start with the statistically determined awards!
 
ART ROSS TROPHY
Criteria: Awarded to the player who leads the SPNHL in points at the end of the regular season.
Winner: LeCupidon.
LeCupidon had a season to remember, as he broke the record for most points in a single season (245), a record which had stood since the inaugural season of the league(jusalator’s record was 236 points). Cupidon scored the second most goals in one season in league history (110), only behind jusalator’s 140 from his record setting first season. Cupey continues to be one of the best (and in my opinion, most underappreciated) players in this league, and if he continues to play like this, he’ll find himself back in the Stanley Cup finals in no time.
 
MAURICE “ROCKET” RICHARD TROPHY
Criteria: Awarded to the top goal scorer in the SPNHL regular season.
Winner: LeCupidon.
We talked about LeCupidon at length in that last little blurb, but we’ll add on to that here. Cupidon is a guy that knows how to bury a puck. He uses his speed to blow by defenders, and his signature through-the-legs deke leaves defenders confused and goalies prone to his finishing ability. Whether he’s deking you out in your crease, or wrapping the puck around the net and past the goal line, Cupidon has a natural ability to find the back of the net, and if he continues to do so at this pace, there’s no stopping him.
 
WILLIAM M. JENNINGS AWARD
Criteria: Awared to the goalkeeper having played a minimum 50% of regular season games for the team with the fewest GA.
Winner: Spencer_Knight30.
Spencer didn’t play 50% of the games (just one game shy at 26), but there were no other qualified goalies who played for the Philadelphia Flyers. The Flyers allowed the fewest goals against in the regular season with 126, and in Spencer’s 26 games, he allowed 68 goals against. This is Spencer’s second consecutive season winning this award, and goes to show how having a strong goaltender between the pipes can give your defense confidence. Also, the Flyers had one of the best defensive cores in the league, so that will help out a little bit.
 
NHL PLUS-MINUS AWARD
Criteria: Awarded to the player with the best +/- at the end of the SPNHL regular season.
Winner: Reapz2313.
Reapz2313 often gets unnecessary criticism for playing (close to0 every game. However, when you’re performing this well and your presence on the ice leads to an incrementally larger goal total for your team, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be. Reapz finished the season with a +126 differential in 52 games, meaning that his team, when he played, scored an average of just under 2.5 goals more than their opponents. If I had a player with that kind of impact, they’d be on the ice whenever they could be.
 
JACK ADAMS AWARD
Criteria: Awarded to the SPNHL Owner judged to have completed his duties as a GM at the highest level.
Winner: Bufford80.
So, for those who don’t know, Pliskin has a system where GMs are awarded points based on their task compliance and behaviour throughout the season. This includes inputting stats on time, their regular season standings, their conduct in the public chat, and more. In the end, Bufford80 of the Tampa Bay Lightning was bestowed this award, and I doubt many people could challenge this. Big Buff took a team that finished last and turned them into Stanley Cup champions. Need we say more?
 
Now, let’s get to the awards that were voted on!
 
HART MEMORIAL TROPHY
Criteria: Awarded to the SPNHL’s most valuable player to their team during the regular season.
Winner: hypey-.
It was difficult to not give this award to LeCupidon, especially after his record setting season, but let’s talk about hypey-. Hypey was second in the league in goals (108) and third in the league in points (197). Cupidon also had Reapz and mjvoell4 on his line, who combined for 359 points in addition to Cupidon’s total. While hypey had i9i-stamkos-i1ic on his line (who scored 139 points), his performance outside of just goals and points, including 18 pims, 167 hits, and a 53.79% faceoff percentage, proved to be of immeasurable worth to his team.
 
CONN SMYTHE TROPHY
Criteria: Awarded to the SPNHL’s most valuable player for his team in the playoffs.
Winner: bluedevil631.
bluedevil631 didn’t lead the league in playoff points (that would be Bunzy-62 with 40, who the Bolts eliminated on their way to the finals), nor did he lead the league in playoff goals (that was ttommyboiii with 17, who brought his Jets to game 7) or assists ( Elfpha had 26 assists in his postseason). What he did do was lead his team in playoff goals (16), shared the team lead in points per game with i9i-stamkos-i1ic at 2.5, and was the most consistent player in the Stanley Cup finals and scored when Tampa Bay needed it the most. That’s an MVP.
 
FRANK J. SELKE TROPHY
Criteria: Awarded to the SPNHL forward who best excels in the defensive aspects of the game.
Winner: i9i-stamkos-i1ic.
While he led his team in points in the playoffs, Stamkos also was incredibly effective in the regular season, especially in defensive aspects amongst forwards. In 40 games he notched 99 assists, and was a +65 with only 14 pim. His 76 hits weren’t earth shattering, but his high faceoff percentage (57.28) and his lower giveaway to takeaway ratio (2.4 giveaways per takeaway) set him apart from the rest of the competitors for this award. Congratulations to Stamkos, as he continues to prove that he’s one of the best players in the league. 
 
KING CLANCY MEMORIAL TROPHY
Criteria: Awarded to the player who has made a noteworthy contribution to the SPNHL community.
Winner: Wheelchairdevon8.
For those who don’t know, Wheelchairdevon8 was in charge of running the trade block for Pliskin last season. This was an especially tall order given the high frequency and volume of trades this past season. You had Vegas and San Jose trading numerous players per day for a considerable period, as well as Philadelphia and Anaheim wheeling and dealing over the course of the season. He made Pliskin’s life that much easier, so cheers to devon and congratulations on the award.
 
BILL MASTERTON MEMORIAL TROPHY
Criteria: Awarded to the player who best exemplifies the qualities of perseverance, sportsmanship, and dedication to the SPNHL.
Winner: xHAC_Rambo.
The Vancouver Canucks had a hard time last season, and were at the bottom of the league all season long. There was one constant on the Canucks roster, and that was xHAC_Rambo. A guy who was campaigning to get himself a roster spot at the beginning of the season, Rambo had the unfortunate honour of getting picked up by the Canucks. However, Rambo made the most of the chance he was provided, scoring 29 goals in 25 games for Vancouver and was there until the end of the season. Good for Rambo for sticking it out.
 
LADY BYNG MEMORIAL TROPHY
Criteria: Awarded for playing at a high level of skill and maintaining a highly disciplined standard of play.
Winner: Reapz2313.
Reapz wins his second consecutive Lady Byng trophy, perhaps starting a new streak that will rival TrueLegend07’s 6 season streak. Reapz, as we mentioned earlier, had another outstanding season and scored 104 goals to go along with 113 assists, all in 52 games. This incredible offensive performance accompanied an incredibly disciplined season, as he only amassed 10 penalty minutes all season long. Reapz is in the middle of a career resurgence, and I wouldn’t be surprised to see him hit those toals again next season.
 
JAMES NORRIS MEMORIAL TROPHY
Criteria: Awarded to the SPNHL defensemen who demonstrates throughout the season the greatest all-round ability in the position.
Winner: PistolPete7788_.
I’m not sure if anybody else has done this in previous seasons, but my dear friend Peter hit the thirty goal plateau as a defender. He had as many goals at defense as I did as a forward. That’s insane. He paired that with 68 assists to lead all defenders in points by a 26 point margin. No defender played more games (50), and Pete finished second in hits (187 (ON AN UNDERCOVER COP!)) and takeaways (152) to go along with his great offensive performance. Cheers to the Pistol on his second Norris trophy.
 
VEZINA TROPHY
Criteria: Awarded to the SPNHL’s top goaltender.
Winner: chadkillz134.
chadkillz134 has reclaimed his throne as the best goaltender in the league after Spencer_Knight30 wrestled it away from him last season. A Hart Memorial Trophy candidate, chad was the backbone of the Minnesota Wild all season, playing 46 games for them in between the pipes. He won 24 of those starts, facing 17 shots a game and saving 83.54% of them. Chad averaged 2.85 GAA and posted 3 shutouts on the season, which may not seem to be impressive numbers, but given the team in front of him, they damn sure are.
 
CALDER MEMORIAL TROPHY
Criteria: Awarded to the SPNHL’s rookie of the year.
Winner: Bartlett–98.
Winnipeg’s leading scored and games played leader in the regular season, Bartlett is our pick for rookie of the year amidst a strong class of rookie. He finished third in points for rookies (92) and points per game amongst rookies (2.8), and finished first in assists (56) and games played by a rookie (33). He was a prime example of a power forward, finishing third in the league for hits by a forward (220) and with only 4 pims. He was also a beast on the powerplay with 11 markers, good for 4th in the league.
 
And with that, season 37 has officially come to a close! All the awards have been handed out, all of our champions have been crowned, and the book on NHL 20 has been permanently shut! As we move towards NHL 21, and more importantly, season 38, we have a new crop of players who have made an impact and are looking to become superstars, we have some longtime veterans who have changed positions and are making a huge impact, and some new GMs in the fold who are either looking to build on their success from this past season or rebound from a disappointing performance. Regardless, there is much to look forward to next season.
I guess Off the Ice has taken a bit of a hiatus now that things have started to pick up in all of our lives, but I encourage you to check out https://twitch.tv/thespnhl_media and catch up on some old episodes of the program and see if any of our hot takes turn out to be cold as ice. While you’re on Twitch, make sure to check out https://www.twitch.tv/itskinglyme! He does all kinds of cool stuff on there, and was so gracious to broadcast and commentate on the Stanley Cup finals this past season. Give him a follow, maybe even a subscription!
 
That’s it for me for a while. Thank you for reading this, and good luck in season 38! 
Cheers,
DD.
 

SPNHL, Season 37: Conference Finals – Players of the Week

SPNHL, Season 37: Conference Finals – Players of the Week
 
By: ProdigyToLegend
Welcome back to SPNHL Players of the Week, conference finals edition. We are down to the final 2 teams here in the Season 37 SPNHL season. It’s been a long road for the Tampa Bay Lightning and the Winnipeg Jets, but nearly 9 weeks later, they are the last 2 standing. Each team has had amazing performances from their players, but let’s see who stood out in the conference finals.
 
Forwards: 
Bunzy-62: 6 GP, 12 G, 9 A, 21 P, 3.5 PPG, +1, 87 GV, 7 TK.
Normally, I do not like giving player of the week to an eliminated player, but the Flyers stayed in their series with Tampa thanks to Bunzy. This guy put a chip on his shoulder, and did literally everything he could to will the Flyers to the finals. Unfortunately for him and the rest of the team, the Lightning were just the better overall group, but at no fault of Bunzy. With 12 goals and 9 assists in round 2, Bunzy did his very best and was in fact the best forward of the conference finals.
Honorable Mentions: 
i9i-stamkos-i1ic: 6 GP, 8 G, 10 A, 18 P, 3.0 PPG, -1, 57 GV, 16 TK
bluedevil631: 4 GP, 7 G, 5 A, 12 P, 3.0 PPG, +2, 37 GV, 9 TK.
Elfpha: 4 GP, 3 G, 7 A, 10 P, 2.5 PPG, +6, 55 GV, 16 TK.
 
Defence: 
PistolPete7788_: 6 GP, 4 G, 7 A, 11 P, 1.8 PPG, -1, 40 GV, 15 TK
Pete yet again wins player of the week amongst all defenders, and it really shouldn’t be a surprise anymore at this point. With 4 goals and 7 assists in round 2, Pete is the x-factor that Tampa Bay needs to produce for one more series. They have amazing forwards, but Pete puts them over the top and is going to be a dangerous player in the Stanley Cup Finals. Will Winnipeg figure out how to stop him, or is he just too much for every team to handle.
Honorable Mentions:
DudNastyy: 6 GP, 0 G, 7 A, 7 P, 1.2 PPG, +1, 25 GV, 18 TK.
CaptCanada_: 4 GP, 0 G, 4 A, 4 P, 1.0 PPG, +6, 24 GV, 7 TK.

Goalie:
NHLBEAST-: 4 GP, 2-2, .843 SV%, 3.30 GAA, 0 SO.
Philadelphia is making me break all my rules, but yet again, NHLBeast was the best goaltender in the conference finals. He boasted a .843 save percentage, despite still having 3.3 goals against per game. The Lightning shot everything at him, and he was up for the task. He did all he could, and through no fault of his own, he had to go home.
Honorable Mention:
Shootersteele19: 3 GP, 3-0, .774 SV%, 4.00 GAA, 0 SO.

SPNHL, Season 37: Playoffs, Conference Finals & Stanley Cup Preview – “Hot N’ Cold”

SPNHL, Season 37: Playoffs, Conference Finals & Stanley Cup Preview – “Hot N’ Cold”
By: Dirty-Dietrich
 
While the alternate title of this article may be the title of an admittedly catchy Katy Perry song, we’re breaking out the big guns for our last two album reviews of this season. For this week’s review, I’m going with one of my favourite albums, ever. Not just new/dark wave, not just albums from the 80’s, but one of my favourites, period. We’re going to put on some eyeliner and go all the way back to 1989, and take a dive into The Cure’s “Disintegration”.
A critical and commercial success, “Disintegration” was the proverbial nail in the coffin of their pop stylings, shifting to a gloomy yet grandiose sound that captured the minds of listeners. The record is almost like a concept album, following vocalist Rober Smith’s journey from an optimistic young man, evidenced by the upbeat tempo and affectionate lyrics of “Plainsong” and “Pictures of You”, to a doubtful, disheartened man, looking more grim with his somber songwriting on “Last Dance” and “Lovesong”. The album echoes his depression and relapse into drug use with the atmospheric trio of “Fascination Street”, “Prayers for Rain”, and “The Same Deep Water as You”, and the fourth “act” of the album features the incredible, retrospective title track, followed up by the last ramblings of a man who has lost his way in “Homesick” and “Untitled”. Words can’t do this album justice. Just listen to it.
 
And then, there were two. Two teams who were heralded as favourites throughout the entire season, even when other teams in their respective conferences posed threats to their championship runs. Two squads who possess some of the best offensive cores in recent memory, filled with players who have numerous Stanley Cups and additional accolades to their name. Two groups that bring rich narratives into the Stanley Cup finals: one going from worst to first, and the other trying to prove that the best is in the West. It’s all come down to this, the Stanley Cup finals of the thirty-seventh season of the Sony Playstation Hockey League: the Tampa Bay Lightning against the Winnipeg Jets. 
These two teams didn’t have the easiest paths to the Finals, as we were fortunate enough to have a very competitive field of playoff teams this season. In the Eastern conference finals, the Tampa Bay Lightning had to contend with the Philadelphia Flyers, a team that had morphed into a seemingly unstoppable monster after a disappointing start. In the Western conference, the Winnipeg Jets had to deal with the Minnesota Wild, who scored an upset series victory in the first round and had a goaltender destined to continue his finals streak in chadkillz134. Both teams were successful in disposing of their challengers, and have set the stage for a very exciting Stanley Cup Finals.
You know the drill by now: we’re going to recap the events of the previous round, and compare the offense, defense, goaltending, and other on-ice and off-ice factors of the respective teams, and see who comes out on top. This is going to be a hard series to evaluate and make a prediction on, but I’m going to do my best. I got a few friends on both sides, so there won’t be too much bias (I don’t think, we’ll see).
 
CONFERENCE FINALS RECAP
 
EASTERN CONFERENCE FINAL
Tampa Bay Lightning (1) vs. Philadelphia Flyers (3)
Winner: Tampa Bay Lightning in 6 games.
DD Prediction: Lightning in 7.
MVP: i9i-stamkos-i1ic.
 
In what some called a potential Stanley Cup Finals preview, two of the most stacked teams in the league met in the Eastern Conference finals, and the result was a very intense and hard fought series. After being blown out 7-3 in the first game, Philadelphia got their win back in a close 3-2 game. Tampa squeaked out an OT victory (5-4) in game three, and then had their blowout returned in game four with a score of 6-1. With the series tied 2-2, a pivotal game five saw Tampa Bay win by a score of 5-3, who then proceeded to win the series in the sixth game in a thrilling 6-5 overtime victory. i9i-stamkos-i1ic was an animal in this series, playing in all 6 games and scoring 8 goals and 10 assists, averaging 3 points per game against one of the best defense/goaltending combinations in the league. 
 
WESTERN CONFERENCE FINAL
Winnipeg Jets (1) vs. Minnesota Wild (3)
Winner: Winnipeg Jets in 5.
DD Prediction: Jets in 6.
MVP: Elfpha.
Minnesota were even more of an underdog than they were in their first round matchup against Edmonton, as Winnipeg had a more offensively dangerous team that would test their defense and goaltending. Things looked grim for the Wild after the first two games, giving up four goals a game and trailing 0-2 while averaging a goal per game. A glimmer of hope came when the Wild limited the Oilers to a single goal in game three, and the Wild matched their offensive output in the series up to that point to get their first victory in game three. However, the Jets returned to their high scoring ways in games four and five, winning both games by a score of 4-2 and securing their spot in the Stanley Cup Finals. Elfpha continues his campaign for his third cup and first Conn Smythe, with 3 goals and 7 assists in 4 games in the conference finals, as he continues to be one of the most overlooked players in the league.
 
Congratulations to the Philadelphia Flyers and the Minnesota Wild on very successful campaigns, as making it to the conference finals is not an easy feat, especially given the competition they were matched up against. They were able to defeat two very talented teams, and fell short to the best team in their respective conferences. Sportsgeek5 and PEACEKEEPER500- have nothing to be ashamed of, and should be looking to build off their success and get ready to go further next season.
 
STANLEY CUP FINAL
Tampa Bay Lightning (E) vs. Winnipeg Jets (W)
 
Tampa Bay Lightning.
Regular Season Record: 41-10-3.
Playoff Record: 8-4.
Notable Stats: 49 goals for (t-1st), 42.9% powerplay conversion (1st).
MVP: i9i-stamkos-i1ic (8 goals and 21 assists, leads all players in the latter category).
X-Factor: bluedevil631 (leads team in goals with 14, is shooting 43.75%) (sorry Petey).
 
Winnipeg Jets.
Regular Season Record: 38-9-7.
Playoff Record: 8-4.
Notable Stats: 2 GAA (2nd), 83.3% penalty kill (t-2nd).
MVP: Elfpha (leads team in points with 26, looking to win his third straight Stanley Cup).
X-Factor: i_Zinczy_i_TV (leads team in goals with 14, is shooting 43.75%) (???)
 
Offense: we’ve talked about each of these teams’ offensive lines all season long. Winnipeg has their notorious “four-headed monster” of Elfpha, i_Zinczy_i_TV, ttommyboiii, and ProdigyToLegend, a highly decorated quartet that lives up to their hype. However, in this series, they’re up against an incredibly dangerous foursome in hypey-, i9i-stamkos-i1ic, bluedevil631, and PistolPete7788_. The differences are minimal, as evidenced by the identical statistics in the X-Factors, but the chemistry that the Lightning have developed over the course of their time playing together may be the difference maker in this category. Advantage: Tampa Bay.
Defense and Goaltending: another razor thin decision here, as both teams have a great offensive defender – defensive defender dynamic in their starting pair. PistolPete7788_ is a Norris front runner, and with old friend DodgesBlueShells as his defensive partner, the two have formed an impressive duo. On the other side of the ice, ProdigyToLegend is another great offensive defender who was snubbed of the Norris last season, and CaptCanada_ has been a fantastic partner as the starting RD for the Jets. The difference here comes in goaltending: Glachs is saving .837% of his shots against, and has a 1.6 GAA, better numbers than dophares2000 and any of the three goalies (JoshuaDuhaime, Shootersteele19, and Bufford80) on Tampa Bay. If he plays more this series, the Jets have the edge. Advantage: Winnipeg.
Everything Else: while the two teams have identical penalty kill numbers (killing off 10 of their 12 penalties), Tampa Bay has had the better powerplay and has scored on 42.9% of their chances. Winnipeg has a team that is ripe with success and accomplishments, such as individual trophies and Stanley Cup rings, but Tampa Bay is not much different in regards to championship success and trophies earned. The difference here is momentum, and Tampa has all the momentum in the world as they try to complete one of the best comeback stories in the history of the league. Advantage: Tampa Bay.
The Verdict: I don’t know what else to say, other than this is one of the most difficult predictions to make in the two years I’ve been doing this. Prediction: Tampa Bay in 7.
 
These next seven games will be some of the biggest in these players’ respective careers, not just in the SPNHL, but in their entire virtual careers. You have some players who have won titles at the top level in more competitive leagues, and they’ll be called upon to be mentors to others in this series. For others, they’ll be looking to leave it all on the ice in the pursuit of their first championship; they’re looking for their defining moment, whether it be as a player or a manager, a defender or a forward, a starter or a backup. It doesn’t matter what their role is, they know they are all united in one common goal: to be the Stanley Cup champions.
SPNHL: Off the Ice will be broadcasting live at 8 pm on https://twitch.tv/thespnhl_media as we look to break down the conference finals and preview the Stanley Cup Finals. Pliskin has seen thirty seven of these (although mostly from the sidelines, sorry Commish), and Fluri is coming off winning one last season, while I’ve had a handful of experience in championship games. We’ll be able to provide some insight as to what these players are going through, and maybe make a prediction or two on how the events of these seven games will unfold. 
After SPNHL: Off the Ice, make sure to join our friend ItsKingLyme at https://www.twitch.tv/itskinglyme as he provides live coverage of the SPNHL Stanley Cup Finals. It’s the first time that the games are getting a live broadcast in recent memory, and it will make for some very exciting Monday and Tuesday night entertainment. I’d like to extend a big thank you for KingLyme and hope everybody tunes into his broadcast tonight.
 
Good luck to the Winnipeg Jets and the Tampa Bay Lightning tonight, we’ll see you on the ice!
Cheers,
– DD
 

SPNHL, Season 37: Playoffs, Conference Finals – “In A Perfect World…”

SPNHL, Season 37: Playoffs, Conference Finals – “In A Perfect World…”
By: Dirty-Dietrich
 
Not gonna lie, being knocked out of the playoffs last week made me a little sad, and I would love to say that I’ve been walking around like a young emo man this past week, but I’ve been like that for the past 6 years, so not much has changed. That inspired this week’s album review, as we’re going all the way back to 1987, and a staple of gothic rock that I’ve been listening to since I heard the lead track in Grand Theft Auto IV. This week, we’re talking about “Floodland” by The Sisters of Mercy.
While the album received mixed reception upon release, it has since been evaluated as a staple of gothic rock and very influential in the dark-wave genre. The album starts out with an incredibly strong, tone-setting trio in “Dominion/Mother Russia”, “Flood I”, and “Lucretia My Reflection”, clocking in at a total of 18 minutes and 19 seconds. The following three songs shift away from the gloomy nature of the first three tracks, as “1959” sounds sentimental and reflective, followed by the popular, vengeful single “This Corrosion”, and the sequel “Flood II”, with a run time of 19 minutes and 44 seconds between the three. While the album drops off in quality (and song length) near the end, the first three quarters of this album are near-perfect and situate “Floodland” as essential for fans of dark/new-wave.
 
Just like that, half of the eight teams that were in contention for the Stanley Cup were eliminated. We had some very exciting hockey this past week, with an intense first round matchup between the hottest team at the beginning of the season, and the hottest team at the end of the season, a classic battle of defense versus goaltending, two of the best defensive cores in the league going head to head, and two of the league’s most dynamic offensive teams taking it to thrilling Friday night game 7 (that ProdigyToLegend really didn’t like) that required overtime to solve. Would you expect anything different in the SPNHL playoffs?
Eight teams came prepared to do battle, and we saw some fantastic performances from the best players in the league. We saw offensive duos that just came together at the trade deadline find their spark and light it up in this first round, we saw Norris favourites continue the momentum they built up all regular season throughout their first six games, and we saw goaltenders play their best hockey over the course of the regular season, and even past playoff campaigns. When chase for the Cup begins, the stars begin to shine, and they serve as the guiding light for their teams in the pursuit of championship glory.
Let’s take a look and see how the first round matchups unfolded, see who stole the show, and if any of my predictions were right. Then, we’ll move onto the conference finals and employ the same evaluation system looking at offense, defense and goaltending, and everything else to see who will square off in the thirty-seventh Stanley Cup Final of the Sony Playstation Hockey League.
 
ROUND ONE RECAP
 
EASTERN CONFERENCE
 
Tampa Bay Lightning (1) vs. New Jersey Devils (4)
Winner: Tampa Bay Lightning in 6 games.
DD Prediction: Lightning in 6.
MVP: PistolPete7788_.
In what some called the most exciting playoff series in SP, the journey from worst to first for Bufford in the Bolts were able to get past one of the hottest teams in the league going into the playoffs in the New Jersey Devils. The Devils won the first game by a goal, but the Lightning would return the favour in the next three games. After the Devils won a close game five by a score of 3-2, the Lightning took game six with a decisive 4-1 victory. PistolPete7788_ shared the team lead in points with i9i-stamkos-i1ic and bluedevil631 with 11, the most by any defender, and his 5 goals have him tied for 10th in the league across forward and defense. 
 
Detroit Red Wings (2) vs. Philadelphia Flyers (3)
Winner: Philadelphia Flyers in 5 games.
DD Prediction: Flyers in 6.
MVP: xSilky93.
The Flyers had the best defense heading into the playoffs (126 goals against), and the Red Wings had the best offense going into the playoffs (328 goals for), setting the table for a scrappy series where each team would try to make their opponents play at their pace. Detroit won the first game 4-2, but Philadelphia acclimated to that pace and outscored Detroit 23-11 over the next four games, winning all four and taking the series. xSilky93 was a big part of this, playing well with Bunzy-62 and leading all players in goals (10) and points (21), as Philadelphia’s offense proved that they are still a force to be reckoned with.
 
WESTERN CONFERENCE
 
Winnipeg Jets (1) vs. Anaheim Ducks (4)
Winner: Winnipeg Jets in 7.
DD Prediction: Jets in 5.
MVP: Elfpha.
The Jets had not had a chance to frequently ice their “four-headed monster” all season, and the Ducks would be the first to experience it. However, the Ducks had a mid-season resurgence and had some familiar faces come together to try and win the Stanley Cup. After the Ducks won game one, the Jets won two straight 5-3 games, which led to a Ducks victory in game four. A dominant game 5 Jets victory gave way to a 1-0 nail-biting game 6 that the Ducks won to set up a game seven. The Jets scored late in the second to tie it at 2, and after a scoreless third period, the Jets scored the series clinching goal in overtime. Elfpha leads all players in assists with 12, and combined that with 4 goals to lead his team in points through the first round.
 
Edmonton Oilers (2) vs. Minnesota Wild (3)
Winner: Minnesota Wild in 6 games.
DD Prediction: Oilers in 5.
MVP: chadkillz134.
I don’t have any words and we know you don’t want to hear them. I understand your anger, your frustration, your sadness. Everything you’re feeling – I get it. This isn’t the ending I imagined, and certainly not the one I wanted. Thank you for being there the entire way.
Edmonton was a heavy favourite heading into this series, as they had the back-end to compete with Minnesota and the offensive advantage to give them the edge. This seemed evident as the Oilers took two of the first three games and outscored the Wild 9-3. However, a pivotal game four victory for the Wild set the stage for the rest of the series, as games four through six saw three consecutive Minnesota victories and limited the offensive output of the Edmonton Oilers to two goals in three games. A lot of that can be accredited to chadkillz134, who posted two shutouts, a 1.4 GAA, and an insane .897 save percentage in the first round. 
 
To the Detroit Red Wings and my dear Edmonton Oilers, I want to congratulate everybody on a strong regular season. Reapz2313 put together another great team, and LeCupidon had a record setting season, and they’ll be a team to watch out for again next season. Meanwhile, over in Edmonton, we had a lot of great players and teammates like Trout, Ciulla, Jon, Buckley, Ethan, TK, rharmer, Portsy, Cow, and fmo that I wish I could have done more for. Regardless, thank you for your time and efforts this season, gentlemen.
With that said, let’s take a look at our conference finals!
 
EASTERN CONFERENCE FINAL
Tampa Bay Lightning (1) vs. Philadelphia Flyers (3)
 
1. Tampa Bay Lightning.
Regular Season Record: 41-10-3.
Playoff Record: 4-2.
Notable Stats: 23 goals for (2nd), 85.7% penalty kill (1st).
MVP: PistolPete7788_ (5 goals, 11 points, leads defenders in both categories).
X-Factor: i9i-stamkos-i1ic (shares team lead in points with 11, all assists).
 
3. Philadelphia Flyers.
Regular Season Record: 37-14-3.
Playoff Record: 4-1
Notable Stats: 25 goals for (1st), 15 goals against (3rd).
MVP: xSilky93 (leads all forwards in points with 21, shares league lead with 10 goals).
X-Factor: Bunzy-62 (shares team lead in assists with 11, second in the league in points with 19).
 
Offense: the two most star-studded offensive cores in the league collide here: it’s SP vets versus dominant rookies (who have won titles in other leagues). Tampa Bay has an assortment of some of the greatest offensive players in its history in hypey-, i9i-stamkos-i1ic, and PistolPete7788_, with bluedevil631 really coming into his own over the past two seasons. Philadelphia has a lethal top line of xSilky93, Bunzy-62 , and Duchesne_x_10, with DudNastyy and Yesc__ as great puck moving defenders behind them. It’s down to the wire between these two squads, but I gotta give the edge to the Lightning. Advantage: Tampa Bay.
Defense and Goaltending: in my opinion, the Tampa Bay Lightning have the best defensive duo in the league in PistolPete7788 and DodgesBlueShells. However, Philadelphia has the most consistent defender over the past two seasons in DudNastyy, one who was instrumental in Boston’s run to the Finals last season. Often paired with Yesc__, the Flyers have a stellar defensive duo who plays in front of the best 1-2 rotation left in the playoffs. While the Bolts have Bufford80 and Shootersteele19, they can’t compete with Spencer_Knight30 and NHLBEAST-. Advantage: Philadelphia.
Everything Else: Tampa Bay had excellent but likely unsustainable special teams numbers in the first round; they scored on 6 out of 10 powerplays and killed 6 of their 7 penalties. Philadelphia only scored on 4 of their 13 powerplays, while they killed off 4 of their 6 penalties. Tampa has the experience edge, and may also have a bit better composure as a team, something that is necessary in these high-pressure situations.
The Verdict: I promise that I’m not just giving this prediction based on two of my best friends in the hockey community being on this team. Prediction: Tampa Bay in 7.
 
WESTERN CONFERENCE FINAL
Winnipeg Jets (1) vs. Minnesota Wild (3)
 
1. Winnipeg Jets.
Regular Season Record: 38-9-7.
Playoff Record: 4-3.
Notable Stats: 21 goals for (3rd), 75% penalty kill (4th).
MVP: Elfpha (leads league in assists with 12, leads team in points with 16).
X-Factor: i_Zinczy_i_TV (leads team in goals with 10, averaging 3 points per game).
 
3. Minnesota Wild.
Regular Season Record: 29-18-7.
Playoff Record: 4-2.
Notable Stats: 100% penalty kill (1st), 11 goals against (2nd).
MVP: chadkillz134 (posted two shutouts and had a 1.4 GAA with a .891% save percentage).
X-Factor: GrammyHands (scored four of his team’s eight goals in the first round).
 
Offense: this will be lopsided. GrammyHands is a great player, but he is Minnsota’s only offensive threat. On the other side of the ice, you have that proverbial four-headed monster that was talked about all season long. The Jets have last season’s Conn Smythe winner in Elfpha, last season’s Calder runner up in i_Zinczy_i_TV, last season’s Selke winner in ttommyboiii, and last season’s Norris runner up in ProdigyToLegend. You put those four players on the ice, and they’re gonna make magic happen.
Defense and Goaltending: I may be a bit biased on this one, given one team just kept us to under 2 goals a game. Winnipeg has a great duo in the aforementioned ProdigyToLegend and CaptCanada_, and a reliable goalie rotation in Glachs and dophares2000 who posted respectable numbers in the first round. Over in Minnesota, they have a very talented back end, with some saying the defensive duo of SNAKE_-_PLISSKIN and shepard-88- have overachieved this past season. However, when chadkillz134 is posting numbers like he has throughout this regular and postseason, that’s not hard to do. Chad is having a career season, and gives the Wild the edge here. Advantage: Minnesota.
Everything Else: Minnesota’s penalty kill has been perfect, but they have only scored twice on their 14 powerplay opportunities. Winnipeg capitalized on 6 of their 22 chances with the extra man last round, but only killed off 6 of their 8 penalties. While their powerplay numbers may be split down the middle, you have to look at playoff experience; GrammyHands has won multiple cups, while Elfpha has won a cup in each of his first two seasons in the league. chadkillz134 has made it to the finals in the past four seasons, with two cups, but will he be able to carry this team to another finals berth? I don’t think so.  Advantage: Winnipeg.
The Verdict: Chad might be the best goalie in the league, but a goalie can only do so much against a team as talented as the Jets. Prediction: Winnipeg in 6.
 
One series down, two to go if any of these four teams want their shot at the most prestigious prize in the Sony Playstation Hockey League. The first round is the easiest (well, maybe not for some, I’m speaking from experience), and now we’re going to determine who are the best teams in their respective conferences. Forwards will have to be more accountable defensively, while defenders are going to have to contribute more offensively. You enlist a goaltender who is reliable and confident between the pipes, and you have all the makings of a Cup winning team.
Make sure to tune into SPNHL: Off the Ice tonight at 10 pm EST (or whenever my friends decide to leave, we’ll keep you posted, we’re having vermicelli stir fry for dinner!) as we recap the first round of the playoffs and preview the conference finals! Chat along with Pliskin, Fluri, and I was the latter two discuss their disappointing first rounds and Pliskin laughs at our misfortune, as well as answers all of your questions. Make sure you follow and turn on notifications at https://twitch.tv/thespnhl_media, and don’t be afraid of watching some of our archived episodes to hear some hot takes!
 
That’s it for me this week, good luck to all the remaining teams, see you on the ice!
Cheers,
– DD

SPNHL, Season 37: Week Five Power Rankings – “Consistency is Key”

SPNHL, Season 37: Week Five Power Rankings – “Consistency is Key”
By: Dirty-Dietrich.
 
I know we were sticking to new-wave reviews this season, but here’s the thing: I don’t listen to enough of it. Most of my knowledge of the genre comes from trips to my Dad’s cottage and the soundtrack to American Psycho (my favourite movie, shocker, right?). I’m more of a punk rocker, and it’s quite unfortunate that I’m just getting acquainted to Massachusetts hardcore veterans Bane 4 years after their breakup. However, they went out with a bang with 2014’s “Don’t Wait Up”.
With a scorching start to the record in the sequential “Non-Negotiable” and “All the Way Through”, the band showcases the energy and passion that have made them mainstays for the past two decades. “Calling Hours”, the album’s third track, is an ode to the past and future of hardcore, with appearances from the vocalists of Have Heart, Rotting Out, and Code Orange. Simply put, it’s the most optimistic track on this album, and it’s unbelievable.  “Wrong Planet” is on the opposite side of the spectrum as a sorrowful rager, and gives way to the prophetical album closer “Final Backwards Glance”. With a strong start and close to their final album, Bane went out with a bang.
 
I swear I’m not lazy, there just weren’t any teams more deserving to be on the graphic, as Anaheim and New Jersey had the best weeks out of any other team in the league. Conversely, the subjective best teams in the league had rather uncharacteristically poor weeks, with Tampa Bay going 5-3-1 (their worst week so far this season) and Philadelphia having a disastrous 3-5-1 record. After their poor showings, both teams might have been looking to make big moves at the trade deadline, which was this past Saturday (September 5th). We’ll get to those trades a bit later.
We had our first mathematical eliminations from playoff contention this past week, isn’t that fun? It’s very unfortunate to see, as the Toronto Maple Leafs, the Ottawa Senators, the San Jose Sharks (sorry Vis), and the Vancouver Canucks all saw their playoff hopes dashed this past week. I’d like to give these teams some recognition for sticking around all season, throughout their consecutive weeks or poor performances and challenging circumstances. Take some time, do your research, and come back next season stronger than ever. 
With those teams eliminated, there remains two teams who can still mathematically qualify for the playoffs: the Vegas Golden Knights, and the Pittsburgh Penguins. The Knights have fallen out of the playoff spot they held two weeks ago, but had a respectable week going 4-4-1. Pittsburgh ended their week on a 3 game winning streak after starting the week with a 3 game losing streak, going 5-3-1 in the process. The Penguins are 5 points out behind the surging devils, while the Knights are 8 points behind the momentous Ducks. 
Let’s see how the rest of the league did in the second last week of the regular season!
 
EASTERN CONFERENCE
 
1. New Jersey Devils.
Record: 9-0-0.
MVP: TrueLegend07.
Trend: Skyrocketing (W10).
Notable Stats: 201 goals for (3rd), 34.5% powerplay conversion (5th).
If we’re talking trades, the trade to acquire Pfarrcyde23 might be the most mutually beneficial trade that has been pulled off this season. As well, the Devils made a trade to acquire Fivestarcoock, finally landing somewhat of a starting goalie. He’ll play well behind a defensive core composed of malf922, DJ_DeaThSlapz85, and led by AAli-21 (who was week five’s defender of the week and has 38 points in 22 games). Pfarrcyde23 and bstieboydp have combined for 72 goals this season, while TrueLegend07 has scored 53 goals and leads the team with 123 points. New Jersey solidified their top line at the deadline (again), and they look set for a deep playoff run.
 
2. Detroit Red Wings.
Record: 6-2-1.
MVP: LeCupidon.
Trend: Upwards (W1).
Notable Stats: 254 goals for (1st), 60.9% penalty kill (11th).
While the majority of the Eastern conference struggled this past week, the Red Wings did what they have always done: win. Detroit’s offense sits atop of the league, and has been guided by a core of offensive defenders with a top pairing of Faaa_Kueue and curtisx18x, leading Detroit defenders with 40 points. Eddie2708_ has the better save percentage (.787%), while CapBan_Clark1999 has the better GAA (3.4), but both continue to be serviceable behind a dominant top line of mjvoell4, Reapz2313, and the phenom LeCupidon. Cupey leads the league in goals (94), assists (100), and points (do the math), and will hope to lead the Red Wings to victory in the playoffs.
 
3. Tampa Bay Lightning.
Record: 5-3-1.
MVP: hypey-.
Trend: Upwards (W1).
Notable Stats: 252 goals for (2nd), 84% penalty kill (2nd).
While the Lightning struggled this past week (in comparison to their usual performance), they still retain their spot at the top of the league with 72 points. Tampa Bay suffered some big losses this past week, but their core remained intact: they still have two of the top three highest scoring defenders in the league in DodgesBlueShells and the league leading PistolPete788_ (with 27 goals and 58 assists, both pacing the league). Shootersteele19 and Bufford80 still comprise this team’s goaltending tandem, and bluedevil631, i9i-stamkos-i1ic, and hypey- (2nd in the league in goals with 93) are the closest challenge to Detroit for the title of the best offense in the league. Will the Lightning rebound from a mediocre week five?
 
4. Pittsburgh Penguins.
Record: 5-3-1 .
MVP: vxWoytkiw8xv.
Trend: Upwards (W3).
Notable Stats: 190 goals for (5th),  206 goals against (10th).
Just when it seemed like the Penguins’ big guns were on their way out, they won 3 straight and gave Cookie_man_412 a glimmer of hope. Two of those big wins came against conference rivals in Philly and Tampa, and in the midst of the playoff race, that’s exactly what they need. Bostonbruins_4_ continues to play every game for the Penguins, and is second in scoring for defenders with 64 points (his most frequent partner Isleezl has 27 in 22 games). Shock_r still is shaky in net, and he’ll need to shake that off if the Penguins want to nab that fourth seed. BarDownski_90 has been a welcome addition to their top line, giving ACK-stonerboy (another player who has had perfect attendance) and vxWoytkiw8xv (who leads the team with 63 goals and 119 points) a new weapon to play with as they make one last attempt at cracking the top four.
 
5. Philadelphia Flyers.
Record: 3-5-1.
MVP: xSilky93.
Trend: Sideways (L1).
Notable Stats: 110 goals against (2nd), 40.4% powerplay conversion (3rd).
Winnipeg forfeited these guys on Tuesday, and then they only won one game throughout the rest of the week. This resulted in some notable departures, including GrammyHands and IsaacRixon, but in return saw the arrivals of Bunzy-62, CSM0419_, and DUPERMAN13. Not too bad of a return for those two. DUPERMAN is a stud and he’ll be a stellar backup option behind Yesc__ and DudNastyy. PEACEKEEPER500- might actually play this week as the backup to Spencer_Knight30, and Bunzy will be able to fill the hole the Grammy left at the wing. Playing with Duchesne_x_10 and their leading scorer xSilky93 (83 points in 25 games), Bunzy might be what the Flyers need to rebound from the worst week of their season.
 
6. Ottawa Senators.
Record: 1-8-0.
MVP: SA_Pliskin.
Trend: Downwards (L4).
Notable Stats: 144 goals for (10th), 253 goals against (13th).
While other teams have thrived under new leadership, Ottawa has gone in the opposite direction, with only one win this past week. Ottawa hasn’t done much under the Pliskin regime, as evidenced by another disappointing nine game stretch. Wheelchairdevon8 continues to get torched, while SgtVandoos isn’t faring much better. BETOBONE1 and PghFANATIC, this team’s highest producing defenders, are a combined -55, and their offense isn’t much better. MAGIC_MIKEY1, X_beaster_x, and SA_Pliskin (who leads his team with 67 points) are a combined -140. Simply put, it’s back to the drawing board next season for Ottawa, but how many times do we have to keep saying that?
 
7. Toronto Maple Leafs.
Record: 1-8-0.
MVP: Imperial_Blaze94.
Trend: Downwards (L6).
Notable Stats: 139 goals for (11th), 232 goals against (12th).
The Leafs almost looked like they had some life a few weeks ago, but a solemn victory this past week combined with a Friday full of forfeits has sealed this team’s fate. A team that was plagued by question marks from the resign draft, Toronto could not get out of the gate this season. Earlthegoat1979 had respectable numbers, but he was never that starting goalie that this team needed, while GaMeRzBrOknThMbZ and M_u_r_p_h_y_87 averaged a penalty per game between the two of them (not ideal for a defensive duo). Dynasty1989, Christ-Boyz, and Imperial_Blaze94 couldn’t get anything going as a forward line, but the latter has had a solid 2.7 PPG through 20 games this season. Let’s see how blaze rebounds next season.
 
WESTERN CONFERENCE
 
1. Winnipeg Jets.

Record: 8-1-0.
MVP: i_Zinczy_i_TV.
Trend: Upwards (L1).
Notable Stats: 112 goals against (3rd), 81.2% penalty kill (3rd).
The Jets were one game away from their first perfect week of the season, but retained their lead atop the conference amidst a fantastic 8-1 week. The Jets didn’t make many moves at the deadline, and their performance gave them no reason to. They still have a solid three-person rotation of CaptCanada_, ttommyboiii, and ProdigyToLegend (with 51 points in 33 games) that has resulted in success all season. Glachs has proven to be a solid starter while dophares2000 is getting back to his old self between the pipes. Winnipeg has so much offensive depth with Elfpha, BRANN-THE-MANN, Gallagher_11x, Bartlett–98, and i_Zinczy_i_TV (with a team leading 32 goals and 65 points), that they can ice any line in the playoffs and be an odds-on favourite.
 
2. Anaheim Ducks.
Record: 8-1-0.
MVP: toslick.
Trend: Upwards (W8).
Notable Stats: 75.6% penalty kill (5th), 140 goals against (6th).
We talked about what New Jersey got out of this trade, but toslick has been outstanding at (the other team’s blueline) for the Ducks and has been a major factor in their 8 game winning streak. NowYoDead and ExE-_-53 have formed a very effective defensive pairing, and the former has spent some time in the crease, acting as a backup to angl3dangle_. Meanwhile, Anaheim’s new top line of SMOKESHOWJOE, Fluri37, and toslick has led them to considerable success, as Slick had scored 61 goals on the season and Fluri is averaging 4 points a game. It looks like these Ducks are ready to fly in the playoffs.
 
3. Edmonton Oilers.
Record: 7-2-0.
MVP: Buckleyx18.
Trend: Upwards (W1).
Notable Stats: 115 goals against (4th), 76.5% penalty kill (4th).
We weren’t as good as the Ducks, but we beat the Jets and made sure their lead in the conference was only extended by a couple of points. Another team that didn’t need to make any moves, Edmonton’s blueline trio remained intact (with some help from Portsy!). rharmer3, l9lTKJOSl8l, and ChiefTrout remain as one of the most well-rounded defense trio in the league, one that has played quite well in front of ciulla19 and made his life much easier. Offensively, DeathClxwn and I have taken a backseat to JonFromEarth (who leads the team in goals, assists, and points with 51, 52, and 103 respectively) and Buckleyx18, who leads all rookies in goals with 43. The West is getting chippy, and I think we have the talent and the depth to hold up. 
 
4. Minnesota Wild.
Record: 3-4-2.
MVP: chadkillz134.
Trend: Sideways (L1).
Notable Stats: 85.2% penalty kill (1st), 109 goals against (1st).
You can have the best defense in the league, but if you don’t have the best offense, the biggies are gonna be toxic and demand trades and you’re gonna get one of the best guys in the league, so I guess it works out. After a disappointing week, the Wild traded Bunzy for GrammyHands in an attempt to get some more goals and some more appearances. He’ll likely form a top line with the returning Beantwn_beatdwn and Heroic_veil2, playing in front of the stellar defensive duo of SNAKE_-_PLISSKIN and shepard-88- (the latter with 36 games played for the Wild). Meanwhile, the backbone of Minnesota and the best goalie in the league in chadkillz134 continues to excel with a .849% save percentage, 3 shutouts, and a 2.59 GAA. However, this team needs a bit more offensive production to make it past the first round of the playoffs.
 
5. Vegas Golden Knights.
Record: 4-4-1.
MVP: Lo-Maximus.
Trend: Sideways (L1).
Notable Stats: 183 goals for (6th), 211 goals against (11th).
You can’t count out the Knights, they still have a decent roster and if everything falls apart in Minnesota, they could sneak back into the playoffs. However, everything has fallen apart for Vegas over the course of the past 5 weeks, going from a projected finish in the top of the conference to missing the playoffs. Budz_780, Notorious250, and Eggman–1 haven’t been terrible as a defensive core, while IceyAsylum23 hasn’t been the leader in the pipes that the Knights were expecting. Randymarsh2012, the O.G. Kingtom111, and Lo-Maximus (who leads the team in goals, assists, and 108 points) are a serviceable top line, and with the arrival of Servnspike, they may have the pieces they need to make one last ditch effort at a playoff run.
 
6. Vancouver Canucks.
Record: 1-8-0.
MVP: xHAC_Rambo.
Trend: Downwards (W1).
Notable Stats: 104 goals for (13th), 278 goals against (14th).
The Canucks snapped their 9 game losing streak in the last game of the week, albeit on a forfeit, against the last team they beat (we’ll get to them in a second). However, it might be too little too late, as the Canucks needed to make a move to get some offensive help and a better goaltender weeks ago. Steelersfan26 and M1keal should have been solidified as this team’s defensive pairing, and some backups should have been traded for a goaltender to take the pressure off of tripZ504 in net. Offensively, Myles_Mayfield96 and TopCheeseNeon weren’t able to provide the support that xHAC_Rambo needed (he has scored 26 of Vancouver’s 104 goals). Hopefully, Tripz and the Canucks focus on offense next season.
 
7. San Jose Sharks.
Record: 1-8-0.
MVP: WakeDog19.
Trend: Downwards (L5).
Notable Stats: 16.7% powerplay conversion (13th), 87 goals for (14th).
A Friday filled with forfeits is an unfortunately accurate representation of the struggles that San Jose has been plagued with throughout this season. Visibility12 did the best that he could facing the obstacles put in front of him, but they could never really rebound from a catastrophic start. Teamrun420 and Headcase25 stuck it out with him, creating a reliable defensive core on an otherwise poor team. ItsNotEzPz and Diirty_triix_13 were traded to the Sharks at the deadline, and it will be interesting to see how many games they play in the final week of the season after going from a playoff bound team to San Jose. At least WakeDog19 is still there, playing a bit of everything this season and being the Sharks most reliable player. See ya next season!
 
As we prepare to close the book on the thirty-seventh regular season in the Sony Playstation Hockey League, we see some familiar faces that are leading teams into the playoffs, some rookies heading the charge, and some superstars looking to show their dominance amongst a group of new talent. This is the last week where we’ll see 14 teams in action, and when the clock strikes midnight on Friday (if all the GMs actually do their stats, that is), we’ll see our matchups for the first round of the playoffs and the eight teams looking to emerge as the Stanley Cup champions of the SPNHL.
Man, we’re getting really bad at airing a weekly show, aren’t we? If Fluri didn’t go off the grid this past weekend, we might have been able to do it. However, we didn’t hear anything from him on Saturday and Sunday, so blame him. Just kidding, it’s as much on Pliskin and I, so let’s see if we can get it back up and running for a playoff special this weekend. You can watch it live on https://twitch.tv/thespnhl_media if we actually get it going. If not, catch up on old episodes and listen to us make terrible takes on what we thought would happen this season.
Good luck in the last week of the season, we’ll see you on the ice!
Cheers,
DD.