SPNHL Tale of the tape

So, I put in a lot of work trying to put individual stats together for every roster player in the league using a spreadsheet. I am sad to tell everyone that the screenshots from the sheet will not work when posted to the site. If you’re interested in seeing your team or all teams let me know and I’ll show you my work (I’m pretty proud of it).  Shout out to everyone who tried to do media in the past, it is a ton of work and everyone appreciates it. If you don’t like what I said, prove me wrong and go do your own article, let’s get started.
Eastern Conference
Florida Panthers
Game 7 Line
LW: Waiter
C: Yesc__
RW: eXecution80
LD:  Cook_Da_Monster
RD: fivestarcoock
G: ShooterSteele19
Statistic Leader Predictions:
Games Played: Cook_Da_Monster
Goals: Waiter
Assists: Yesc__
Points: Waiter
Dmen Points: Fivestarcoock
+/-: Waiter
Giveaways: Waiter
Takeaways: Cook_Da_Monster
Wins: ShooterSteele19
Save%: Dxrk9ness
Initial reaction to this squad is they have a lot of star power uptop with players like Gui and Yesc, Exe will fill out that top forward line.  Defensively they are one of the deeper teams in the league with guys like execution, fivestar, cook, ice cold and king. These guys are all proven vets in the league, Exe is a guy who may play both forward and defence.  In the crease, Shooter, Rolla and Dxrk (possibly) make a great tandem that will steal some games if need be.  The one question mark I see is offensive depth, if rookies like Dxrk, Brucelee can perform, this will be a team to look out for come playoffs
Status: Playoffs
Montreal Canadiens
Game 7 Line
LW: xHAC_Rambo
C: xxBert–
LD: tripZ504
RD: Matrikstl
G: JoshuaDuhaime
Statistic Leader Predictions:
Games Played: xHAC_Rambo
Goals: xHAC_Rambo
Assists: xxBert–
Points: xHAC_Rambo
Dmen Points: Matrikstl
+/-: No one gets better than -50
Giveaways: EL_R_O_O_K_I_E
Takeaways: tripZ504
Wins: Is 2 wins really a lot?
Save%: Polar-1387
Oh what could’ve been. With the first overall pick the Montreal Canadiens selected: PistolPete, however after pulling an Eric Lindros, he was shipped with fellow defence partner Curtis (we will look at them later).  Now, if I put a bunch of names on a dartboard then blindly threw darts at it, I would probably make a better looking squad than this one (sorry Tripz).  Let’s take a look at some positives about the team, a forward line of Bert, Kap and Rambo isn’t the worst thing in the world, on the backend tripz and matriks look to prove themselves.  In net, Polar is an SP vet with Vezina trophies to his name and Josh is coming off a Stanley cup with the Lightning.  The team’s depth is horrendous but they do have some players that can play multiple positions like Elrookie, Clark and beaster.
Status: Bust
New Jersey Devils
Game 7
LW: TrueLegend07
C: Chelios24x7
RW: bstieboydp
LD: Cuban1616
RD: DetAjax17
G: thrice01
Statistic Leader Predictions:
Games Played: Truelegend07
Goals: TrueLegend07
Assists: bstieboydp
Points: TrueLegend07
Dmen Points: DetAjax17
+/-: DetAjax17
Giveaways: TrueLegend07
Takeaways: bstieboydp
Wins: thrice01
Save%: thrice01
Now, if this roster was assembled 3 years ago, look the fuck out SP, however this team in 2020 is still is one of the better ones assembled this season.  Offensively, True, chelios and Bstie make up a solid forward line that will score at will.  Defensively Cuban and norris candidate Ajax make a solid #1 d-pair that is reliable and will log some games for you.  Depth wise, NTyrrell in round 6 is a steal and is a great 4th forward, mayhem and dobbsy I don’t have any information on but I trust True’s choices.  In the crease he is rocking a rookie duo of thrice and Poehling, these sweaty Frenchies are going to help put this team over the edge.
Status: Contender
New York Islanders
Game 7
LW: Schmidty34_
C: Pfarrcyde23
RW: Lo-Maximus
LD: CastroNY516
RD: MPurch
G: Eddie2708_
Statistic Leader Predictions:
Games Played: Lo-Maximus
Goals: Lo-Maximus
Assists: Lo-Maximus
Points: Lo-Maximus
Dmen Points: CastroNY516
+/-: Pfarrcyde23
Giveaways: Lo-Maximus
Takeaways: Lo-Maximus
Wins: Eddie2708_
Save%: Eddie2708_
Here’s the thing, I don’t hate how Icey drafted his team however, let’s see how long he keeps it together.  On offence, long time vet Lo-max plays with Pfarrcyde and Schmidty which looks like it can be an interesting line.  The depth for the forwards is actually pretty good, Randymarsh as a 4th forward is decent and Mason will be able to fulfill a backup role well.  In net, Eddie and Icey look to prove themselves, Eddie is coming off a fantastic season with the Red Wings and Icey might learn how to stop a puck instead of playing dodge ball. The asterisk next to this team is their defensive core, Castro, Coffee, Mpurch and PGH do not impress me at all, could very possibly be the worst group this season next to Montreal.  These forwards will have to put up 5+ goals a game just to get some wins.
Status: Bubble
Philadelphia Flyers
Game 7:
LW: ItsNotEzPz
C: cpenn4204
RW: Blades-l59l
LD: Royalkc85
RD: DCLightt
Statistic Leader Predictions:
Games Played: Royalkc85
Goals: Blades-l59l
Assists: Blades-l59l
Points: Blades-l59l
Dmen Points: Royalkc85
+/-: DCLightt
Giveaways: cpenn4204
Takeaways: Royalkc85
Save%: cpenn4204
First off, shout out to Peace for picking mostly rookies and making my job a little bit easier!  Peace had a very good draft, with his 2 first round picks he acquired rookies Blades and DC. If you don’t know who these studs are, you’ve been living under a rock and will find out soon.  Offensively Blades has slim pickens for wingers but he does have some decent rookies in Cpenn and SAK to play with. EzPz I don’t have a lot of information on but his SP and other league stats didn’t really wow me, long time vet Serg will fill in on both offence and defence interchangeably if I had to guess.  This d pair of Royal and DC will be gross, arguably the best in the league, junepon is a question mark for me, heard good things but never played with him.  In the crease Peace, koz and maybe cpenn make a weird looking group, Koz sucks dont @ me, Peace and cpenn are both very good though.  This team’s success comes down to availability, it is the difference between a 20 win and 35 win season in my opinion.
Status: Playoffs
Toronto Maple Leafs
Game 7:
LW: GrammyHands
C: xGrhymes
RW: toslick
LD: Uberpwned_6969
RD: shepard-88-
G: Chadkillz134
Statistic Leader Predictions:
Games Played: Chadkillz134
Goals: toslick
Assists: GrammyHands
Points: toslick
Dmen Points: Uberpwned_6969
+/-: shepard-88-
Giveaways: toslick
Takeaways: GrammyHands
Wins: Chadkillz134
Save%: Chadkillz134
Man SP really needs a trade committee, everyone was distracted by the Pete/Curtis deal no one noticed Shepard got dealt to Toronto for a bag of potato chips.  Regardless, even without Shep, Chad built himself a beast team but now, they’re looking even better.  Offensively, stars like Toslick and Grammy are two of the most dynamic wingers in the league, xGrhymes will slot in nicely with them.  On the backend, Uber and Shep make another solid defensive pair in the East, both are very good and will make each other better.  Depth wise, I’m not really seeing any big names but Kakko will be able to fill on offence interchangeably, Devon although signed up as G can help out on Defence as well.  In net they’re all set with Chad, he’s proven to be the best in the league without a question, Devon and Kakko can also hold their own if needed.
Status: Contender
Western Conference
Arizona Coyotes
Game 7:
LW: Sendthemnoods
C: xToxiCBoY-_-
RW: Fishhure
LD: Iam_Beanzy
RD: Fluri37
G: Dophares2000
Statistic Leader Predictions:
Games Played: Fluri37
Goals: Fishhure
Assists: xToxiCBoY-_- 😉
Points: xToxiCBoY-_- 😉
Dmen Points: Iam_Beanzy
+/-: Iam_Beanzy
Giveaways: Iam_Beanzy
Takeaways: Fluri37
Wins: Dophares2000
Save%: TopCheeseNeon
I mean, I’d like to think I had a good draft, definitely a few question marks surrounding the characters on my team but, if everything goes according to plan, I think we have legit shot at the cup. In my opinion I built the deepest roster in the league, if anyone thinks differently go write your own article.  These toxic yotes are gonna be on everyone’s shit list by the end of the season I can guarantee it.
Status: Contender
Chicago Blackhawks
Game 7
LW: Buckleyx18
C: i9i-stamkos-i1ic
RW: hypey-
LD: Honeybakes
RD: Bostonbruins_4_
G: Spencer_Knight30
Statistic Leader Predictions:
Games Played: Bostonbruins_4_
Goals: hypey-
Assists:  i9i-stamkos-i1ic
Points: hypey-
Dmen Points: Bostonbruins_4_
+/-:  i9i-stamkos-i1ic
Giveaways: Bostonbruins_4_
Takeaways: i9i-stamkos-i1ic
Wins: Spencer_Knight30
Save%: Spencer_Knight30
Well, stam and hypey are back and hypey has gone and built himself another solid team.  Buckley with stamkos and hypey is a line to look out for, they will score goals and also play an amazing 200ft game.  This defence of Honeybakes and Bostonbruins is sketchy to me, I have no information on Honey but I trust Hypey’s choice. Bruins on the other hand, put up rather impressive numbers the past few seasons very quietly, I always viewed him as a drop-in hero but maybe I am missing something.  Depth wise they are flooded with rookies, Fialah, demy and nico all have played LG and put up respectful numbers, Dedstarks works just fine as a 3rd dman.  In the crease they have the man himself SpencerKnight, hopefully he doesn’t quit in playoffs games for the Hawks, Demy will serve as the backup and do it very well.
Status: Contender
Colorado Avalanche
Game 7
LW: Whitetees41
C: SA_Pliskin
LD: illbebacke
RD: teamrun420
G: itsfatdino
Statistic Leader Predictions:
Games Played: SA_Pliskin
Goals: Whitetees41
Assists: Whitetees41
Points: Whitetees41
Dmen Points: teamrun420
+/-: Whitetees41
Giveaways: Whitetees41
Takeaways: SA_Pliskin
Wins: itsfatdino
Save%: Dudnastyy
Alright, time to roast the boss and catch a ban.  First off, amazing trade to acquire Whitetees, after scoring over 100 goals 2 seasons ago this is the stud upfront Plisk chose to build his team around.  Unfortunately after that, I am not so impressed.  Whitetees NJ and Plisk look to fill out the top line.  Depth wise, Heedless, Backe and stxrto are all rookies who will get a shot to prove themselves to play on that top line.  Defensively Plisk has chosen multiple rookies (Backe, Six, Kmatt and stalechips) and long time sp vet Teamrun to fill out his d-core, after diving through some stats on the players, overall “meh”.  Dudnastyy and Dino in the crease also have some question marks surrounding them, Dud is a proven G in LG Dino however not so much.  One really good thing about this squad is Pliskin’s ability to play F, D and G, I can see him playing everywhere this season.  Let’s hope Tees has a big enough backpack.  (pliskin edit: nIn (o.o) nIn  )
Status: Bubble
Los Angeles Kings
Game 7
LW: DPtickler
RW: NowYoDead
LD: OG_KJ-_-
RD: DrWally
G: SgtVandoos
Statistic Leader Predictions:
Games Played: DrWally
Goals: DPtickler
Assists: NowYoDead
Points: DPtickler
Dmen Points: DrWally
+/-: DrWally
Giveaways: NowYoDead
Takeaways: DrWally
Wins: SgtVandoos
Save%: Duckyy315
Well Sportyspice I’m not sure why you decided to run a team of 14 players but hey whatever floats your boat.  So you resign Shepard, then you draft 4 other defenders then trade Shep for absolute garbage, 1000 iq buddy, keep up the good work.    Let’s start with the backend, going up against all of 6’7 240 lbs of DrWally is gonna be a pain in the ass this season, he pairs next to KJ who will probably quit like he always does.  Owen actually fairs nicely as your number 3 dman with McAvoy and sports filling out the rest. I got a quote from Sports: “Side comment I think my team will be more defensive than offensive” NO KIDDING.  Up top you have proven defenseman in NowYoDead and DPtickler with SE7ENTEE (was acquired in Shep trade).  The wild last season won a 6 game playoff series only scoring 8 goals, that’s an average of 1.25 G/GP, this tactic will not work with Vandoos, Ducky and possibly Sports in the net.  Depth wise up front, this team has nothing to write home about, Joki had decent LG stats, other than that, very unimpressed.  If this team averages more than 2 goals a game I’ll be shocked.
Status: Bust
Seattle Kraken
Game 7
LW: Reapz2313
RW: Lecupidon
RD: CaptCanada_
G: KQ31
Statistic Leader Predictions:
Games Played: Lecupidon/Reapz2313
Goals: Lecupidon
Assists: Lecupidon
Points: Lecupidon
Dmen Points: XxDiiStOrTeDxX
+/-: Reapz2313
Giveaways: Lecpuidon
Takeaways: Reapz2313
Wins: KQ31
Save%: Bufford80
Reap had yet another good draft, nothing new here.  Lecupidon and Reap picked Diirty Trix (AKA Chief2step) to be their center, I believe Trix has played with these boys in the past and will definitely be a top forward line this season.  Forward depth is quite lacking having only Fox as a registered forward as depth however, diistorted and buff could possibly fill in for the 3 games trix wont play.  On the backend Distorted and Capt make one of the weirdest looking pairings this season, not to knock diistorted but I don’t view him as a stud LD.  Capt on the other hand can hold her own,  she was a gem for my Jets last season and is a great defensive defenceman.  In the crease KQ, Buff and Phenom will split the duties, Buff was an absolute stud in the cup last season, KQ has some very respectable numbers with a career .779 save% and 2.83 GAA.  Expect a lot of goals from this squad.
Status: Playoffs
St. Louis Blues
Game 7:
LW: bluedevil631
RW: XKonecny11X
LD: PistolPete7788_
RD: curtisx18x
G: jeiel9876
Statistic Leader Predictions:
Games Played: PistolPete7788_
Goals: bluedevil631
Assists: KIDMON3Y
Points: KIDMON3Y
Dmen Points: PistolPetet7788_
+/-: bluedevil631
Giveaways: PistolPete7788_
Takeaways: curtisx18x
Wins: jeiel9876
Save%: jeiel9876
So here’s the thing, I was so ready to roast and pick apart Visibilty’s team but he did okay.  Other than his pointless shenanigans prior to the draft, he was able to field a decent looking team.  Up top Bluedevil and Kid look kinda lonely but they have guys like Konecny, Pete or even Vis who will jump up and fill in as a forward.  Defensively they are very deep, Pete, Curtis, exe, headcase, vis makeup probably the deepest defensive core in the league (holy shit I’m complimenting Vis).  In net Jeiel doesn’t have impressive stats but I know he can play, Bruh will serve as the backup, don’t know much about him.  This team is 1 Center away from being dangerous.  Although I always give you shit, you did well Vis.
Status: Playoffs
Standings Prediction:
Western Conference

  • Arizona Coyotes 😉
  • Chicago Blackhawks
  • Seattle Kraken
  • Louis Blues
  • Colorado Avalanche
  • Los Angeles Kings

Eastern Conference

  • Toronto Maple Leafs
  • New Jersey Devils
  • Philadelphia Flyers
  • Florida Panthers
  • New York Islanders
  • Montreal Canadiens

Individual Awards Candidates:
Jack Adams: xToxiCBoy-_- ;), hypey-, Chadkillz134
Hart: Lecupidon, Waiter, Whitetees41
Conn Smythe: i9i-stamkos-i1ic, Truelegend07, Chadkillz134
Selke: i9i-stamkos-i1ic, Reapz2313, Fluri37
Clancy: SA_Pliskin, WheelChairDevon8, Media team
Bill Masteron: tripZ504, Sportsgeek5, IceyAsylum23
Lady Byng: Truelegend07, Reapz2313, Yesc__
Maurice Richard: Lecupidon, Whitetees41, toslick
Art Ross: Lecupidon, Reapz2313, hypey-
Norris: DetAjax17, BostonBruins_4_, Iam_Beanzy
Vezina Trophy: Chadkillz134, Chadkillz134, Chadkillz134  (plisk edit: HA HA HA love this)
Jennings: Chadkillz134, Spencer_Knight30, Dophares2000
NHL +/-: Reapz2313, hypey-, Truelegend07
Calder: Blades-l59l, DCLightt, thrice01
GM Stanley Cup Appearance Predictions (Anonymous):
Arizona: 4 (1 picked to win)
Chicago: 4 (3 picked to win)
Colorado: 2 (2 picked to win)
Florida: 1 (0 picked to win)
Los Angeles: 0
Montreal: 0
New Jersey: 3 (1 picked to win)
New York: 0
Philadelphia: 4 (1 picked to win)
Seattle: 1 (1 picked to win)
St. Louis: 0
Toronto: 3 (2 picked to win)

Start a Conversation

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *