Alright alright. Real rankings have arrived. Doge you’re fantastic but that was JUNK. Here I will rank teams based on conference then a full list below that. Hope you enjoy because I have currently lost feeling in my foot (plisk edit: and spread to your brain based on the below) and can’t get up. Enjoy! Also remember this will certainly be spot on and I expect everyone to be happy,

Western Conference

Numero Uno. Sup Randy. The San Jose Sharks. Offensively this is a top 3 maybe 2 team in SP. Defensively and Goaltending, ok. I have an idea of what you will do and it should work and will probably make this look stupid but we are here for controversy. Going with the same goalies that ended your season last year is also hilarious.

Number 2. Arizona. Chico already being one of the better players here at numerous positions, it will open up the coyotes to do some cool things. If the top 6 I believe they shall run, then they will make a huge run this season. When depth comes up however, this is what separates them from San Jose. Still a very good top 6.

Number 3. St Louis. Doge essentially created a bring your own team team. What he wanted he got. I assume most of them play together all the time giving a leg up on most teams. However those who didn’t, how many will stay is the next question.  Doge, I still believe in you.

Number 4. Nashville. Solo probably gonna @ me and say just wait for the 15th time this week, but the three teams above are just a tad better for certain reasons. Fish and fLuri have already proclaimed they will only play 3 a week, this could cause an issue if true. If not, Fish Fluri and quod will win them games and if hyper finds his R2 button before tuesday, they could push for the number 3 spot. I worry about shaky goaltending but this team is more than capable of winning in a shootout.

Number 5. Anaheim. This looks like one of the best teams on paper. Unfortunately if you can read past all the stats attached to those players and see the availability and willingness to play, you will understand why they are here. First 4 selections by Egg, A1. I applaud him for that. Following them however do not come close to matching them. With 3 guys having 1 day/4 game avail, I find it hard that those depth players will be able to get the job done. Egg, make some trades, you got this.

Number 6. Colorado. Well, Bart and Karlsson. Woohoo!  I think they win games but how many. Bart can only do too much and if Karlsson doesn’t give a care this will go as expected. Vandoos may need to find a time machine and make 1000 saves this season. Braz g refused is tough he probably would’ve stolen a couple games. Hope for the best, don’t finish last.

Eastern Conference

Numba 1. Philly. Seems like that number has been attached with them since Cuban let go of ownership. So this team has potential to be an all time team. Hughsy, Kyle and Turk make up an elite back end that may average 1 goal against a game. Flow, Jcpens and a mystery center will be more than capable of scoring. Depth players shouldn’t be an issue, there is skill everywhere.

Number 2. New Jersey. Likewise to Philly, the top 6 are elite. Depth is the question mark. But back to the big 6. John Dean, Semp and presumably Toslick will be very good. Steve with a combination of literally anyone will be just fine. New Jersey vs Philly games may have to be a mandatory game of the night every time.

Number 3. My Ottawa Senators. I have been told I will be playing LW with Ande and Bej. I am very excited as I am not allowed to skate up front often for various reasons. My one concern will be a mix of Hardie x Devon on defense. Gunner will be a top 5 g here if we don’t take 7 5 minute penalties a game. Depth players will be competitive in most games. Shoutout Bologna Tah tahs.

Number 4. Florida. Offense has the potential to be one of the best with Smitty, Genzy, and Freeze. Defensively may be a cause for concern but Choo will be good and  frosty was a steal in net for Peace. Depth players are also very solid as well as a chance for dual smittys to be on the ice.

Number 5. New York. The difference between 4 and 5-6 is astronomical in the east. Sportsgeek started off by picking Adam who will likely only play g 3 times a week. Then went with AALI who will also be very good. However sportsgeek then watched 48 picks go by to then select Clark. The rest of the picks didn’t help the cause much either but they are a tad bit better than the next team…

Number 6. pittsburgh. I was told to be a bit more professional this afternoon, but I’m not sure how I am supposed to say this is ok. Shayne is a good dman. First rounder? Probably not. Beanzy the 3 a week goalie was the cherry on top and it was only round 2. Fadedbuttons? I mean this in the nicest way possible. They may win 3 games. Again, if you’d like to prove me wrong go for it. I just can’t see this ending well.

PRE SEASON POWER RANKINGS

1.Flyers

2.Devils

3.Sharks

4.Coyotes 

5.Blues

6.Senators

7.Panthers

8. Predators

9.Ducks

10. Avalanche

11.Islanders

12.Penguins