By: Dirty-Dietrich & randymarsh2012

Hockey season is coming up, and I still think it’s ridiculous that in order to watch in-market games, you either need a VPN or you need a cable subscription. Like, what year is it? Yeah, I could continue to use my streaming site (not naming it here, momma didn’t raise no snitch), but I wouldn’t mind watching it on a big screen and continuing to use my laptop for other things. Before you try and sell me on an IPTV, keep in mind that PistolPete tried doing it for years. Perhaps I should give it a shot? I’m stubborn and a traditionalist, so we’ll see. Maybe I’ll sign up for TSN Direct and Sportsnet Now and diversify my sports intake. If only I get ESPN 8: “The Ocho”…

Much like the name of the excellent Bane debut record, it all comes down to this; two conference champions prepare to engage in a grueling, seven game series in order to crown the winner of the Stanley Cup and the little of the best team in Season 44 of the Sony Playstation National Hockey League. Four teams engaged in the conference finals over the past week, but only two came out victorious; the teams that met the unfortunate fate of defeat were the Edmonton Oilers and the Detroit Red Wings. I’d like to congratulate both teams on a hell of a season and wish them nothing but the best as they look forward to next season, as there is no shame in falling short to the Stanley Cup finalists. Speaking of them, let’s get reacquainted. 

In the Western Conference, we have the San Jose Sharks. This powerhouse has sat atop of the league all season long, matching the record for the most wins in 45 games with 41. This is a team that was never complacent and kept improving throughout the season, making trades to bring in the best players available and have them slot into the lineup with ease. After disposing of the Vegas Golden Knights in the first round of the playoffs, they faced an immensely talented Edmonton Oilers team in the conference finals, and pulled off the win a tight 6 game series.

Out of the Eastern Conference, we have the Washington Capitals. The Capitals were predicted to be one of the best teams out of the gate, but didn’t really click until later on in the season. They found themselves struggling, but trades for key players turned their season around. They emerged as the second seed in the East, and disposed of the Toronto Maple Leafs in 5 games in the first round. Many predicted the Red Wings to defeat the Capitals, but Washington was able to pull off the upset and advance to the Stanley Cup Finals in 6 games. 

Congratulations to the San Jose Sharks and the Washington Capitals for advancing to the Stanley Cup Finals, and playing some excellent hockey for the past two months. Now, you’ve got one week left and seven games to show that you are the best team in the league. Not only is randymarsh2012 playing in this series, he’s also gonna be breaking it down for us, highlighting each team’s strengths and weaknesses, recapping predictions, and a whole bunch of other things he has gone above and beyond to do for your reading pleasure. Isn’t he just the best?

Let’s start by taking a closer look at the previous round!

Round 2 Review

San Jose Sharks advance to the Cup final beating the Edmonton Oilers in 6 games.

Game 1 – Edmonton grabbed an early 1-0 lead, but the Sharks came back in the 3^rd to tie and force overtime and won by a score of 3-2.

Game 2 – Sharks grabbed the lead early in the 2^nd but they couldn’t hold on as the Oilers put up 3 goals in the 3^rd to win 3-1 and tie the series at 1-1.

Game 3 – Oilers and Sharks were tied 1-1 after the first period, then the Sharks grabbed the lead to make it 2-1 after the 2^nd period. In the 3^rd, Edmonton took a few costly penalties that the Sharks capitalized on to win the game 5-2.

Game 4 – This game was a nail biter heading into the 3^rd tied 1-1, then the sharks broke the tie to make it 2-1 and shortly after Clake had a lag out which forced Edmonton to take a PIM and restart the game with 6 minutes left in the 3^rd. The Sharks took advantage of that PP and scored and didn’t look back as the next 3 shots also went in causing the score to be run up to 6-1 in favour of the Sharks and to take a commanding 3-1 series lead.

Game 5 – Edmonton wasn’t going to roll over just yet, they made a goaltending change which put SomeoneStopMepls in net with Bejimoszn taking over right wing. The Oilers got a late 1^st period breakaway and scored, and then it was strong Edmonton defense and goaltending that sealed the deal giving the Sharks their 1^st scoreless game of the season and winning 1-0, bringing the series to 3-2 in favor of the Sharks.

Game 6 – San Jose’s offense came out of the gate early and had a 3-1 lead after the 1^st period. Halfway through the 3^rd period, the  Sharks scored their 5^th goal of the game to make it 5-1 and seemed to be the dagger to end Edmonton’s playoff dreams. But Beanzy, Semple, and Bejimo weren’t ready to call it quits yet. They stormed back over the next 8 minutes and scored 4 goals to tie the game at 5-5. They had the Sharks on their heels hard and panic was starting to set in, but with 30 seconds left in the game Hughsy fired a one timer from the point far side to put the sharks up by 1. Then Noscope sealed the deal with 10 seconds remaining with an empty netter to put the Sharks into the Stanley Cup Finals.

Edmonton played strong hockey all series and despite some of the final scores, kept games very close and very competitive throughout the entire series. A couple of good bounces and the series could’ve ended in their favor. Great series and great season for these Oilers. They played a team that has only lost 6 times so far this entire season and they were the ones that handed them 3 of those losses.

RandyMarsh’s gutless Sharks move on to the SCF and it is his first appearance in a cup final since riding the pine back in S27, where he was carried to a cup win.

The Washington Capitals pull off the upset and beat the Detroit Red Wings in 6 games.

Game 1 – Washington made a late push in the 3^rd to try and tie the game but was unsuccessful. Red Wings take game 1 with a score of 4-3 to go up in the series 1-0 to start. 

Game 2 – Washington scores 6 goals on 11 shots and takes game 2 with a commanding score of 6-1.

Game 3 – Washington continues to pick apart Vandoos as they score 5 goals on 9 shots and win 5-2 to take a 2-1 series lead.

Game 4 – Washington wins 2-1 to take a commanding series lead of 3-1.

Game 5 – Detroit wins 2-1 to force a game 6.

Game 6 – Washington beats Detroit 2-1 in a nail biter and wins the series.

Detroit didn’t get the goaltending they needed in games 2 + 3 (although Fluri said he did great in the latter three games), and Washington did a good job of shutting down Hardie in this series. Washington is showing they have the defensive ability that some people (myself included) doubted they had and are now making their way to the SCF to face a hungry Sharks team.

Detroit had a hell of a season and are more than likely very disappointed in the outcome, but it took some serious strong hockey by Washington to take these Red Wings down. Congrats to Chad on building yet another stellar team and competing hard.

Washington showed this series that they are a true force to be reckoned with and that the Sharks better be ready because they are coming for the cup and nothing less.

Eggman, start doing your stats. Either that, or give us play-by-play or a review of the series. EGG!

Here are the results of the 2^nd round picks combined with the 1^st to see who the best guesser in the playoffs is:

Rank	Player	Total
1	Fluri37	22
2	Cpenn	21
3	Dirty-Dietrich	19
4	Hardie	18
4	Tommyboii	18
6	RandyMarsh	17
6	Hughsy28	17
6	Kidmoney	17
6	El_Rookie	17
6	FreezeMothaSucka	17
11	CClarke1999	16
11	YoJonsn	16
11	Fishhure	16
11	Polar1387	16
15	WheelChairDevon	14
15	ThaFoSix	14

Fluri37 takes over 1^st place with cpenn in a close 2^nd.

Hardie and tommy laid big goose eggs both picking Edmonton and Detroit to win, dropping them to 4^th.

Stanley Cup Final Preview:

San Jose Sharks (41-4-0) vs Washington Capitals (29-15-1)

Season Series: Sharks (3-1-0) Caps (1-3-0)

Potential Game 7 Matchup:

Center: John Dean vs Fluri37.

Left Wing: Barlett vs ProdigyToLegend. 

Right Wing: RandyMarsh vs Wardo_05.

Left Defense: Noscope vs Eggman.

Right Defense: Hughsy vs Dustin.

Goalie: MrlolChico/Pickle vs Goalieman/Liljxgren.

Spare/Potential G7: – TwnsPepsi vs Druwyy.

Key Points:

• None of these players have all touched the ice at the same time in their meetings.
• Fluri called his boss gutless the other day, so we all know RandyMarsh is living rent free in his brain.
• Prod beat his bff Tommyboii last series so he could be going through some emotional damage.
• Wardo was a 2nd round pick to the Sharks and was later involved in the trade that brought Hughsy and PickleTickler to San Jose, so he will be sweating his hole off so he can tell RandyMarsh to pound sand.
• Druwyy was a Shark for a day before being traded to Washington.
• Hughsy and John Dean have 3-peat cup champions on the line.
• Bartlett is ass ong.

Randy: This Washington team has come together at the right time and is showing that they are primed and ready to win a cup. The top line of Fluri, Prod, and Wardo is getting the offense done while also playing solid defensive hockey. Their newfound goaltending superstar in Liljxgren is another factor in this team’s success. Dustin buying into his role as a defender for this team and doing it well is also another reason why this team has been successful these past 4 weeks.

 The Sharks have just continued to truck along and get the W’s, but they were put to the true test against Edmonton, the Sharks came out successful but showed some serious gaps in their play at times that almost cost them games in the series. They’ll be looking to clean that part of their game up for this next series.

These 2 forward groups are a very tight matchup. Both teams had 2 players in the top 6 in scoring this season and both lines have been producing good numbers so far in these playoffs. Will the chemistry between Bart, John, and Randy continue into this series? Or has Prod and Fluri found some new chem with Wardo on the right side that may be overwhelming for the Sharks?

The defensive matchup looks to be in favor of the Sharks looking at the stats so far in these playoffs. Both Shark defenders are 1 and 2 in scoring by a fair amount. But the Capital defenders have just come off playing one of the top lines in the league and limiting them to 4 goals over the final 3 games of their series. Could the strong defensive play of Washington’s defenders be more valuable in this series than the Sharks quick puck moving D-men?

Goaltending, the Sharks have had solid goaltending all season out of MrlolChico and Pickletickler, with both only having 1 loss each so far these playoffs. But Washington, who once had one of the worst goalie statistics out of all teams during the season, now has 2 goalies leading the playoffs in SV% and GAA. Will the potential Vezina winner MrlolChico show why the trophy deserves to be his? Or will late season bloomer Liljxgren continue his brick wall play and shut these Sharks down?

Forwards: Toss up, both forward lines are potent and have shown they can score.

Defense: Advantage to San Jose, more offensive ability and just as capable defensively.

Goaltending: Toss up, Washington goalies have the better numbers these playoffs, but during the season Shark goalies have gotten the numbers and wins.

RandyMarsh’s gutless pick – Washington in 5

Dirty D: Randall and the Sharks have a combined 49-6 record in the regular and playoffs, and that kind of dominance is rarely witnessed. They have paired explosive offence guided by lightning fast speed and great puck movement with impenetrable defence to create a lethal combination that only the Oilers have seem to have figured out. With a startling line consisting of three of the reigning Stanley Cup champions, this team has a championship pedigree and knows how to get it done when the time comes.

Eggman and the Capitals continued their midseason resurgence and have rode it all the way to the Stanley Cup final. This is another team that has a lot of championship success, with Eggman, Prodigy, and Fluri all having been to the promised land before. They know how to break through traps and command the slot as their own, whether it be in the offensive end or the defensive end. The defensive depth that this team has is key to their success in these playoffs.

Offensively, I have to give the edge to the San Jose Sharks. The Capitals have been fantastic offensively during these playoffs, with Fluri37 leading the way and being a frontrunner for the Conn Smythe, but Randall and Bartlett have continued their momentum from the regular season and remain in the top 3 in scoring; the Gutless One leads all players with 18 goals and 44 shots. While Fluri has some great weapons around him in Prodigy, Druwyy, and WARD0, the Sharks have John_Dean anchoring their top line and will have the better top line entering this series.

On defense, NoScxpe has been shutting down people for the Sharks all season long, and the addition of Hughsy to that line has only bolstered an already stout defence (the latter is channeling his inner Victor Hedman these playoffs). I would love to talk more statistically about the Capitals’ defensive corps, but you know Eggy and stats don’t always go well together. However, they boast an impressive core of Dustin, Druwyy, WARD0 (yeah, they’re versatile), and Mr. Egg himself. They shut us down, but I feel like they won’t be able to contend with the dangerous duo across the ice from them.

Picking up Chico to solidify the starting goaltender role was great for the Sharks, but he hasn’t played as well as this pundit has expected him to these playoffs. Fortunately, he has the best team in the league in front of him. Meanwhile, Washington’s two goalies have stepped their game up in these playoffs, especially Liljxgren, who has all but stolen the starting goaltender spot away from goalieman. I feel like he’s the go-to-guy if Washington wants to win a Stanley Cup, and out of all the goaltenders in this series, he’s the best.

Forwards: advantage – San Jose Sharks.

Defense: advantage – San Jose Sharks (by a hair).

Goaltending: advantage – Washington Capitals.

Dietrich’s dirty prediction: my heart is telling me Washington, but my mind says San Jose Sharks in 6 games.

Here are the predictions from the rest of the league:

Well, we’ve got a barnburner for you this week, folks; we’ve got two grizzled veterans leading their team to a showdown for the Stanley Cup, we’ve got two offensive dynamos guiding their team’s offense, we’ve got two defensive duos looking to shut down the opposing squadron, and we’ve got two goalies looking to prove that they are the best and backstop their team to a championship. Only one team will emerge as the 44th Stanley Cup winner in the SPNHL, as heartbreaking defeat is in store for the other (or not, it is a video game after all). Nonetheless, we’re in store for some highly competitive hockey!

Randall, best of luck to you in this series my friend, and thank you once again for doing the brunt of the work to put this article together. You’d figure that my unemployed self would have the free time to do most of the work, but our dear friend commits most of his free time and neglects his work to deliver an excellent product. Speaking of that, make sure to listen to this week’s edition of the SPNHL Podcast, where Cuban1616 and SA_Pliskin are breaking down all the happenings in the playoffs and are being joined by a very special guest, from what I hear! 

Will Randymarsh win his first cup as GM and 2^nd since S27? Or will Eggman win his, like, 8th cup?

Stay Gutless SP,

Randymarsh2012 & Dirty-Dietrich