SPNHL, Season 37: Week Four Power Rankings – “In West Philadelphia, Winning Games”
By: Dirty-Dietrich
 
What really constitutes “new-wave”? Is it specifically the period of time where pop bands were incorporating punk sensibilities and ushering in a new genre of music? Is it a select group of bands that used a similar sound and were instrumental in changing the style and perception of popular music? Music is incredibly subjective, and on that subject, this week’s review will focus on my personal favourite (and in my opinion, the best) Nine Inch Nails record: “Pretty Hate Machine” (also my GF’s nickname for me, best hair in the biz).

Trent Reznor flipped industrial music on it’s head in 1989 with his debut album, adding frantic disco and haunting ambience to anthemic rock riffs. The album starts out with the live staple “Head Like a Hole”, encouraging audiences at home to sing along with the song’s infectious chorus, and continues to eock on with memorable compositions like “Terrible Lie” and “Sanctified”. While the middle of the album slows right down with the ghastly-yet-beautiful “Something I Can Never Have”, it picks right back up with the berserk single “Sin” and closes out with the deranged, danceable “Ringfinger”. “Pretty Hate Machines” set a tone that NIN’s albums would maintain for the next decade, as Reznor emerged as one of the leaders of the rock genre and one of the most creative individuals in modern music.
 
Philly lost? Well that’s a new one. Vancouver and San Jose won? That’s ALSO a new one. Week four was filled with events and occurrences we haven’t seen since the first week of the season, such as the Penguins losing three in a row to put their playoff spot in jeopardy. However, with two thirds of the season gone by, we’re getting down to the final stretch and for teams that aren’t in the playoffs, it’s now or never. Playoff pushes will be made, big moves are in store, teams will be stacked, and the weak teams fill fold like accordions.
The battle of the big two in the East continues to rage on, as only five points separate the Tampa Bay Lightning (61 points) and the Philadelphia Flyers (56 points) in the race for the first seed in the conference and likely the President’s Trophy. The Red Wings are on a five game winning streak, and have all but secured third seed in the East, but the Penguins are in danger of losing their playoff spot to the surging Devils. While the Penguins have lost 3 straight, the Devils have won 6 of their last 10 and seem primed to take the final playoff spot in the conference. While showing signs of life last week, the Senators and Maple Leafs are all but mathematically eliminated from playoff contention.
Over in the West, it’s still anybody’s game as far as playoff seeding goes. Winnipeg is leading the conference with 51 points, while Edmonton is hot on their tail with 50 points, and Minnesota is only three points behind at 48 points (with some recent offensive upgrades, they may be able to close the gap). The Golden Knights have fallen out of the fourth playoff spot, as the Ducks have risen from the dead under new leadership into the fourth seed by a single point. Meanwhile, the Sharks and the Canucks have snapped their losing streaks but still find themselves at the bottom of the conference and a long ways away from a playoff spot. Maybe Visibility and Tripz should start planning for next season.
Let’s see how everybody did this past week!
 
EASTERN CONFERENCE
1. Tampa Bay Lightning.
Record: 8-1-0.
MVP: hypey-.
Trend: Upwards (W7).
Notable Stats: 211 goals for (1st), 50.7% powerplay conversion (1st).
Albeit losing to the Devils this past week in a 6-1 defeat, the Lightning had the best week in the league scoring 16 of 18 points. With the undisputed best offense in the league, DodgesBlueShells and PistolPete7788_ are thriving behind them, forming the highest scoring pairing in the league while sharing the league lead in assists from the point (Petey leads defenders in goals and points with 25 and 70). Shootersteele19 has won 14 of his 17 starts, while Bufford80 has won 10 of his 12 as a serviceable backup goaltender. Bluedevil631 is averaging 4.1 points a game, i9i-stamkos-i1ic is second in the league with assists with 80, and hypey- is leading the league in goals with 72. Consistency is key, and Tampa has consistently been lighting teams up all season, while showing no signs of slowing down.
 
2. Philadelphia Flyers.
Record: 7-1-1.
MVP: GrammyHands.
Trend: Upwards (W1).
Notable Stats: 90 goals against (2nd), 47 penalties against (3rd).
Both of their losses came to the aforementioned team, but otherwise, Philadelphia continued to dominate the league this past week. They really showed their defensive prowess this past week, employing two highly effective pairings in the pair of PXSTRNAK-_- and IsaacRixon, and Yesc__ and DudNastyy (who leads all Flyers defenders with 18 points). Spencer_Knight30 is returning to his Vezina form from last season, saving .815% of shots and averaging 2.68 GAA, while NHLBEAST- is sharing similar numbers as his backup. With an established forward line in Duchesne_x_10, xSilky93 (leading forwards with 3.1 PPG), and GrammyHands (leading all Flyers in goals (41), assists (45), and points (86)), the Flyers have all the tools they need to contend for the Stanley Cup. 
 
3. Detroit Red Wings.
Record: 7-2-0.
MVP: LeCupidon.
Trend: Upwards (W5).
Notable Stats: 203 goals for (2nd), 58.3% penalty kill (12th).
Rebounding from a disappointing (by their standards) week 3 and start to week 4, the Red Wings won 5 straight to return to their winning ways. Detroit’s offense is potent (reaching double digits twice last week), but their defense and goaltending could use a bit of work (giving up 33 goals against). Nonetheless, Matrikstl and Dedstarks have formed a solid backup pairing behind Faaa_Kueue and curtisx18x (leads this team’s blueline with 36 points). Eddie2708_ and CapBan_Clark1999 have nearly identical numbers while winning 25 of their 35 combined starts. Meanwhile, mjvoell4 is fitting in nicely between Reapz2313 and LeCupidon, the latter leading the league in assists with 82 and points with 153. They say the best defense is a good offense, right?
 
4. New Jersey Devils.
Record: 5-4-0.
MVP: TrueLegend07.
Trend: Upwards (W1).
Notable Stats: 147 goals for (4th), 63% penalty kill (9th).
The Devils looked like they might miss the playoffs this season, but find themselves right back in the thick of things after their winning week. They have a far too talented team to miss the playoffs, especially with AAli-21 at the blue line, and he’s had success so far this season with DJ_DeaThSlapz85 and the new arrival in malf922. The Devils still haven’t found that solid starting goaltender, as Pensrul066 and dreamteamm66 continue to struggle between the pipes (neither getting under 3.5 GAA or over .720% save percentage). Pfarrcyde23 is that natural center that bstieboydp and TrueLegend07 (who eclipsed the century mark this past week with 46 goals and 54 points), and if they keep having weeks like this last one, he’ll be their starting center in the playoffs.
 
5. Pittsburgh Penguins.
Record: 3-5-1.
MVP: ACK-stonerboy.
Trend: Sideways (L3).
Notable Stats: 62.7% penalty kill (10th), 170 goals against (11th).
In the middle of a playoff race, having a week like this past one can be disastrous, but at least they got 17 out of 18 points in the week before. They’ll need all the points they can get with the Devils hot on their tail, and they’re gonna need more work from their defensive core. Bostonbruins_4_ has been reliable for the Penguins (one of two players to play in all games this season), but he has lacked a consistent partner at the blue line as Isleezl is second in games played on the team with 16 games and averaging an assist per game. Shock_r may not be the starting goalie that the Penguins thought he was, as he is averaging over 4 goals against per game and has dipped under a .7% save percentage. ACK-stonerboy is the other player who has played each game this season, amassing 86 points, and will need greater contributions from vxWoytkiw8xv (averaging 3.7 PPG in his 22 games) and new arrival BarDownski_90 if they want to hold onto their playoff spot.
 
6. Toronto Maple Leafs.
Record: 3-6-0.
MVP: Imperial_Blaze94.
Trend: Downwards (L1).
Notable Stats: 118 goals for (t-11th), 192 goals against (13th).
You have to give Toronto credit, they had a terrible start to the season, but now find themselves winning at a somewhat consistent pace! Will this pace be able to carry them into the playoffs? Nah. M_u_r_p_h_y_87 is averaging a point per game on D, while GaMeRzBrOknThMbZ and Dynasty1989 haven’t exactly carried their weight. Earlthegoat1979 hasn’t been awful in net, saving .73% of shots but averaging just under 5 GAA. the724sniper has gone AWOL, Christ-Boyz has become their starting RW (averaging 2 points per game but sitting at -34), but Imperial_Blaze94 is having a decent season with 23 goals and 55 points (2.75 PPG). Maybe he’ll be able to rebuild the Leafs next season.
 
7. Ottawa Senators.
Record: 2-5-2.
MVP: SA_Pliskin.
Trend: Downwards (L2).
Notable Stats: 29.7% powerplay conversion (10th), 190 goals against (12th).
Another manager down! Wheelchairdevon8 stepped down, and after being traded back to the Senators, SA_Pliskin now runs a team as well as the league! Wheelchairdevon8 didn’t leave him much though, as he is tasked with building a competent defensive core out of BETOBONE1, PghFANATIC, and our old friend Cuban1616 (that core doesn’t sound awful TBH). With Wheelchairdevon8 and SgtVandoos as goaltending options (the latter having one of his worst seasons ever), the Senators aren’t the most gifted at the position, but they’re definitely serviceable. Meanwhile, some new arrivals in MAGIC_MIKEY1 and Papadamou_l88l will hopefully be able to help out SA_Pliskin up front (who has 63 points and 266 hits this season). Maybe the Senators will break the curse next season!
 
WESTERN CONFERENCE
 
1. Edmonton Oilers.
Record: 6-3-0.
MVP: JonFromEarth.
Trend: Upwards (L1).
Notable Stats: 94 goals against (t-3rd), 73% penalty kill (4th).
We lost a game each night (and nearly caved in on ourselves in the process), but the Oilers had a 2-1 win-loss ratio this past week as Edmonton closed in on Winnipeg’s first seed. ChiefTrout has been putting in work at defense with 24 games, while rharmer3 and  l9lTKJOSl8l have been producing proficiently at defense (the latter with 19 points on the season). ciulla19 has been returning to form in net, getting below a 3 GAA and saving .763% of shots. Buckleyx18 is keeping his Calder dreams alive and well, while DeathClxwn has been dynamite up front and is pairing well with JonFromEarth, who leads the team with 47 goals and 46 assists. We got the right team, so let’s see what we can do in the playoffs.
 
2. Winnipeg Jets.
Record: 5-3-1.
MVP: i_Zinczy_i_TV.
Trend: Upwards (OT1).
Notable Stats: 159 goals for (3rd), 75.5% penalty kill (3rd).
With i_Zinczy_i_TV and Elfpha (the former PBM_TroyJ) putting in work this week, the Jets are starting to see their explosive offensive core come together just in time for the playoffs. It seems like ProdigyToLegend and ttommyboiii will be their starting duo moving forward, as both defenders are averaging over 1.5 PPG (the former leading the team with 38 points in 26 games), and CaptCanada_ will serve as the third member of their d-core. Glachs and dophares2000 are both averaging under a 3 GAA and over a .750% save percentage, as the latter has brought up his numbers in recent weeks. BRANN-THE-MANN, Gallagher_11x, and Bartlett–98 have been reliable for this team all season long, and now i_Zinczy_i_TV and friends are living up to their billing (Zinczy is leading the team with 29 goals and 61 points). With no possible bad lines to be formed out of their roster, this team will definitely make a run at Stanley.
 
3. Minnesota Wild.
Record: 5-3-1.
MVP: chadkillz134.
Trend: Upwards (W3).
Notable Stats: 83.7% penalty kill (1st), 88 goals against (1st).
While the Wild may not have had the best week in the West, they definitely won on the trade block with some major acquisitions in Diirty_triix_13 and Bunzy-62. Some low scoring games required an offensive boost, and shepard-88- will be able to breakout to some new, more talented players while SNAKE_-_PLISSKIN holds down the fort as a strong defensive defender.  Bunzy-62 is going to make some noise in Minnesota, and may be able to help break Diirty_triix_13 out of his funk. Will these two scorers share the puck evenly? chadkillz134 continues to thrive in net, averaging 2.54 GAA and stopping .850% of shots as he looks to reclaim his Vezina crown. With their new additions, Minnesota looks to be a very strong squad heading into the playoffs.
 
4. Anaheim Ducks.
Record: 6-3-0.
MVP: toslick.
Trend: Upwards (W2).
Notable Stats: 123 goals against (6th), 118 goals for (t-11th).
Anaheim’s first week with ExE-_-53 in charge was a fruitful one, as the Ducks had their best week of the season (and maybe last season, too). The trades that ExE pulled off have rebuilt this Ducks squad, finding some defensive partners for himself in Fluri37 and NowYoDead, as well as utility players in Dptickler and SMOKESHOWJOE. In net, the duo of wade-belak and angl3dangle_ will have the ability to rectify their seasons and perform up to the high standards of ExE and slick’s Toronto team last season. Speaking of the latter, he has formed an effective forward line with JOE and xSalda, adding to his totals this season to reach 51 goals and 54 assists this season. With this squad, the Ducks have a good chance at cracking playoffs, especially if this next team keeps up their losing ways.
 
5. Vegas Golden Knights.
Record: 3-6-0.
MVP: Lo-Maximus.
Trend: Downwards (L3).
Notable Stats: 145 goals for (6th), 156 goals against (10th).
I can’t believe IceyAsylum23 split up Pliskin and Lo-Maximus. I also can’t believe Kingtom111 and Budz_780 are still there after all this time. Oh well. Unfortunately, another series of moves by the Knights have stripped them of almost all the talent they had left. Well, offensive talent at least, as they have a respectable defensive core in Eggman–1, Budz_780, and Notorious250 (averaging a point per game in his 19 games). Fivestarcoock looks like he might take over the starting role from IceyAsylum23 based on their schedule for this week, and if he brings that GAA below 5, he’ll be fine. Offensively, Kingtom111 is going to get acquainted with Randymarsh2012 as he reunites with former Senators teammate Lo-Maximus (who leads the team with 79 points in 33 games). Will the Knights be able to bounce back from a terrible week and hold onto their playoff spot?
 
6. San Jose Sharks.
Record: 2-7-0.
MVP: Servnspike.
Trend: Downwards( W1).
Notable Stats: 18.8% powerplay conversion (14th), 79 goals for (14th).
Visibility12 learned his lesson and shut up this week, and his team won two games! Albeit over the other two bottom feeders in the West, they won two games! Unfortunately, they traded their best player in Bunzy for a slew of mediocre forwards. DUPERMAN13 is back in San Jose, finding his role in a defensive core with Visibility12, teamrun420, and Headcase25. WakeDog19’s numbers are starting to look a little scary for a starting goaltender, averaging over 4 GAA and a saver percentage under .700%. CSM0419_ and Beantwn_beatdwn will likely pair with Servnspike to form this team’s top line, as we hope the latter will be a solid anchor for two talented wingers and give this team some life.
 
7. Vancouver Canucks.
Record: 1-8-0.
MVP: xHAC_Rambo.
Trend: Downwards (L1).
Notable Stats: 82 goals for (13th), 217 goals against (14th).
tripZ504 and the Canucks are back to their winning ways, and by that I mean winning a game a week. Maybe if xHAC_Rambo had some help, they could get a few more dubs. With issues scoring and preventing goals against, you would think that this team would trade some of their natural defenders for a goaltender or a better forward. They have a few in tripZ504, MayhemX113, M1keal, and steelersfan26 that they could move for a forward, as TopCheeseNeon has performed well while stopping 76 of 93 shots in net. Neon has also scored 15 goals in 13 games, acting as the limited help that Rambo has received offensively. With his 22 goals and in 18 games, Rambo is the knight in shining armor (or Canuck in a Canadian tuxedo, for that matter) that Vancouver needs in a dark season.
 
With the trade deadline approaching at the end of this week, these next 9 games are all crucial for the 14 teams in the SPNHL. While teams have glaring weaknesses that they need to fix, such as goaltending in New Jersey and Pittsburgh and offense in Minnesota and Vegas, a lot of teams will be lacking to stack their rosters and add that extra depth piece that will put them over the top and make them legit contenders for the Cup. Will Philly make any more blockbuster moves? Will the Jets move any of their big pieces? Only time will tell.
We apologize for the lack of a broadcast this past weekend, as there were some real-life circumstances that prevented us from delivering the latest news and musings of all things SPNHL to you. However, we will do our best to deliver a show this weekend, as there will definitely be a lot to talk about. While we’ll aim for the evening, make sure to tune in at https://twitch.tv/thespnhl_media and subscribe to stay notified of when we go live. While you’re there, why not check out past broadcasts of the crew making fools of ourselves?
Thank you for reading, and good luck to all the teams this week! We’ll see you on the ice!

Cheers,
DD. 
 

SPNHL, Season 37: Week Three Power Rankings – “Where Are They Now?”
By: Dirty-Dietrich
 
The past few weeks have seen more trades and pickups than I have seen in some full seasons, with some huge trades sending nearly entire lines across conferences. With the masses being moved, I felt like going with “Music for the Masses”, but instead chose the more popular and more familiar follow-up album “Violator” by English electronic group Depeche Mode. It was released 30 years ago, it has stood the test of time as one of the best crossover records combining elements of pop, electronic music, and alternative rock.
 The shortest song off of “Violator” was the successful fourth single (and album opener) “World In My Eyes” at 4:26, and sets the tone for the remainder of the album: lengthy compositions that take you on a journey inside the creative imagination of guitarist, keyboardist, and songwriter Martin Gore. While the former half of the album contains the fantastic “Personal Jesus”, the latter half of the album included three of Depeche Mode’s best songs in “Enjoy the Silence”, “Policy of Truth”, and the album closer “Clean”. None of this album is filler, but the highlights are that high and land this album on many publications’ of the greatest albums of all time.
 
I don’t even know who is on what team anymore so this is going to be fun. However, what we do know is that halfway through the thirty-seventh season of the SPNHL, we may have set a record for the most trades in a single season (definitely the most trades in the first half). We’ve seen TC swaps, we’ve seen depth player trades, we’ve seen two-for-one deals, a few blindsides, a big three-way-trade, and I think four teams have flipped almost their whole rosters. Numerous roster players have made trips to four or more rosters, and I don’t think their travels will stop there.
While there were definite winners (well, a winner, I think Philadelphia really ran the table with these moves) and losers of this trade spree, there is still a lot of competition in the league. Looking at the east, the aforementioned Flyers have made a slew of great trades and have won 13 games in a row (17-1 in the past two weeks) and are challenging the Lightning for the top seed in the conference. The Red Wings are in third in the conference, but are in danger of losing their third spot (and placement in the top 4) to the surging Penguins and the Devils as they finally get their feet underneath them. The Senators and the Leafs? The Senators might still have a shot, and the Leafs are actually starting to turn things around.
The west is a little strange: the top three teams are separated by three points, as Winnipeg has 40, Edmonton has 38, and Minnesota has 37. 10 points separate the Wild from the fourth place Knights, who after recent events, may not be staying in the playoff race for long: the Ducks have made some moves to save their season and look to be making a charge for the playoffs. Meanwhile, the Sharks haven’t won a game in 13 matchups and the Canucks have lost seven straight. Yikes. 
Let’s take a closer look at how these teams fared in week three! We’ll start with the east.
 
EASTERN CONFERENCE


1. Philadelphia Flyers.
Record: 9-0-0.
MVP: GrammyHands.
Trend: Skyrocketing (W13).
Notable Stats: 43.3% powerplay conversion (3rd), won 17 of last 18 games (only team close).
The first (actual) perfect week of the season, the Flyers have been absolutely dominant over the past two weeks. With big wins over top teams like Winnipeg, Minnesota, and conference rivals Detroit, nobody has been able to figure out the antidote to Philadelphia’s success. The new arrivals of Spencer_Knight30 and NHLBEAST- will pair up as one of the best goaltending tandems in the league, and they’ll be playing behind a phenomenal defensive core that employs PXSTRNAK-_-, IsaacRixon, and one of the best two way players in the league: DudNastyy. Duchesne_x_10 and Yesc__ are going to be welcome additions to the offensive core, one that looks to be lead by xSilky93 and my boy GrammyHands, who leads the team in goals (30), assists (40), and points (70). In a conference once dominated by the Lightning, a new threat has emerged and it will be interesting to see who takes the top seed (and likely the President’s Trophy).
 
2. Tampa Bay Lightning.
Record: 7-2-0.
MVP: hypey-.
Trend: Upwards (L1).
Notable Stats: 157 goals for (1st), 67 goals against (2nd).
Speaking of the Lightning, they find themselves still atop the league with 45 points and some of the most impressive statistics in the league. They’ve scored the most goals and have the highest goal differential (+90), while also having the second best goals against total, powerplay efficiency (49.1%), and penalty kill (81.3%). PistolPete7788_ maintains his league lead in points with 50 (19 goals, 31 assists), while DodgesBlueShells leads defenders in assists from the point with 35, pairing together to form the best defensive pairing in the league. Shootersteele19 continues to be a reliable starter for Tampa Bay, with a 9-2 record, .841% save percentage and under 2 GAA with 2 shutouts. Tampa’s big three continue to produce, as i9i-stamkos-i1ic and bluedevil631 continue to produce (averaging 3.6 PPG or higher) while hypey- continues his torrid scoring pace, eclipsing the century mark with 114 points in only 26 games (54 goals and 60 assists, both league leading). The Lightning will have some competition in the east, but they’ll definitely be able to handle it.
 
3. Pittsburgh Penguins.
Record: 8-0-1 .
MVP: vxWoytkiw8xv.
Trend: Upwards (W6).
Notable Stats: 119 goals for (4th),  117 goals against (10th).
With Cookie_man_412 taking a brief leave of absence from the league, ACK-stonerboy has taken over and has guided the Penguins to a 6 game winning streak. With a big move this past week, the Penguins traded wade-belak to the Canucks for Cuban1616 and found a solid defensive partner for Bostonbruins_4_ (second in the league for points by a defender with 39) in Cookie’s place. With the departure of Belak, all the pressure is being put on Shock_r as their starting goalie, who is handling it well with a 13-3 record and a save percentage of .749%. While a slew of backup forwards have helped out the Penguins, the combination of Stoner (with a team leading 39 assists) and vxWoytkiw8xv (with a team leading 46 goals and 82 points) continues to produce and may ensure a deep playoff run for a scrappy Penguins squad that narrowly missed the playoffs last season.


4. Detroit Red Wings.
Record: 5-4-0.
MVP: LeCupidon.
Trend: Sideways (L2).
Notable Stats: 137 goals for (2nd), 56.8% penalty kill (12th).
The Red Wings find themselves still in third place in the conference, but a poor week amidst the success of other teams may impact Detroit’s trajectory for the remainder of the season. The high octane style of the Red Wings leads to a lot of high scoring games, and their defense are definitely contributing to that as Faaa_Kueue has contributed 15 points from the blue line, while curtisx18x leads the defensive core with 25 points in 16 games, good for a 1.6 PPG. Eddie2708_ and CapBan_Clark1999 remain a very competent 1-2 duo, winning 18 out of 26 starts on the season and both having save percentages within the .780% to .795% range. Offensively, KIDMON3Y may be the odd man out on a line that boasts mjvoell4 (4.1 PPG), Reapz2313 (3.5 PPG), and LeCupidon, who leads the team with 54 goals (tied for the league lead) and 99 points. The Red Wings will be looking to bounce back from a mediocre week and return to the success that they have consistently found over the past few seasons.
 
5. New Jersey Devils.

Record: 5-4-0.
MVP: TrueLegend07.
Trend: Upwards (W3).
Notable Stats: 104 goals for (7th), 60% penalty kill (11th).
Ahh, the Devils. All the talent in the world couldn’t save that damn penalty kill, but they have had some success going into this article as they ride a 3-game win streak. The toslick era in New Jersey has come and gone, and sees malf922 as a new addition to the defensive core lead by DJ_DeaThSlapz85 (19 points in 13 games) and AAli-21 (who also has played 17 games at forward, but looks to be returning to defense this week). The Devils still don’t have a starting goalie, as neither dreamteamm66 or Pensrul066 have been able to surpass the .680% save percentage mark. However, an old friend in Pfarrcyde23 looks to be the reliable anchor between bstieboydp and TrueLegend07 (with a team leading 33 goals and 74 points in 24 games), a winger duo that achieved much success last season. If the Devils can score a solid goaltender, they might be able to make a run at the playoffs.
 
6. Toronto Maple Leafs.
Record: 4-4-1.
MVP: Imperial_Blaze94.
Trend: Upwards, oddly enough (L3).
Notable Stats: 87 goals for (10th), 131 goals against (12th).
The Leafs got a lot of flak for a trade early in the season, but in comparison to other teams at the bottom of the league, they haven’t really given up or made a slew of bad trades. They started this past week going 4-1-1, showing signs of life from a competent squad. Dynasty1989 has split time at offense and defense, as one member of the Leafs defensive trio that also includes M_u_r_p_h_y_87 and GaMeRzBrOknThMbZ. Earlthegoat1979 has solidified his role as this team’s starting goalie (going 5-8 on the season) as SgtVandoos has one of his worst seasons in recent memory. Offensively, Dynasty and Christ-Boyz have played solid supporting roles to Imperial_Blaze94, who is leading by example with 16 goals and 26 assists in 16 games. Will the Leafs be able to rectify their season and make some noise in a competitive eastern conference?
 
7. Ottawa Senators.
Record: 0-6-3.
MVP: Randymarsh2012.
Trend: Downwards (OT1).
Notable Stats: 135 goals against (13th), 103 penalties against (14th).
 
Man, I can’t believe Wheelchairdevon8 went with the week three team flip. He didn’t even have that bad of a roster, they just weren’t playing that well… for a few seasons. Regardless, their new defensive core, after more moves than Patty Kane in the shootout, consists of Notorious250, Eggman–1, BETOBONE1, and DUPERMAN13 (miss ya buddy). If Defaults-Potato didn’t quit before getting traded, he may be the backup to Devon. Offensively, it looks like X_beaster_x might be the only option to pair with old Randymarsh2012, one of the few players to survive the flip and the team leader with 10 goals and 26 points. After a winless week, will the Senators be able to right all the wrongs this week and get back in the win column?
 
WESTERN CONFERENCE
 
1. Edmonton Oilers.
Record: 8-1-0.
MVP: JonFromEarth.
Trend: Upwards (W5).
Notable Stats: 65 goals against (1st), 25.5% powerplay conversion (12th).
We’re on fire! We may not be first in the conference, but we only lost once last week (got a few FF wins) and are riding a wave of momentum through the halfway mark of the season. l9lTKJOSl8l is determined to get that Norris, and his frequent partners of rharmer3 and ChiefTrout have been very helpful in his campaign to do so. ciulla19 had a rough week in net last week, but is ready to turn it around and get that save percentage above .800% again. He better, he’s playing eight games this week. DeathClxwn, II-C-_-O-_-W-II, and Buckleyx18 (early Calder candidate, anyone) have all benefitted from the arrival of JonFromEarth, who has scored 30 goals and notched 33 helpers on the season. If our offense can be as good as our defense, we might be a team to watch out for in the playoffs.
 
2. Winnipeg Jets.
Record: 6-1-2.
MVP: BRANN-THE-MANN.
Trend: Upwards (W3).
Notable Stats: 120 goals for (3rd), 73.2% penalty kill (3rd).
Bennie and the Jets have been one of the favourites in the west from the start of the season, and have been at the top of the conference all season. While it’s not surprising to see them up there, they have to be pleased with their results given the lack of availability from some of their better players. ProdigyToLegend has the most games played for this team at defense, and has 25 points in those 17 games. ttommyboiii and BROKEN9216 have each played nine games, but expect CaptCanada_ to be Prod’s regular partner going forward. Glachs has all but taken over the job of Winnipeg’s starting goalie (9-4 with a .768% save percentage), but dophares2000 isn’t a bad choice for a backup goalie either. PBM_TroyJ has only played 4 games this season, so Gallagher_11x (3.3 PPG), i_Zinczy_i_TV (3.1 PPG), Bartlett–98 (team leading 44 points), and BRANN-THE-MANN (19 goals in 15 games) have really stepped it up and carried the offensive load for the Jets. When Troy and Tommy start playing more, look out for Winnipeg.
 
3. Minnesota Wild.
Record: 5-3-1.
MVP: chadkillz134.
Trend: Upwards (W1).
Notable Stats: 82.1% penalty kill (1st), 72 goals against (3rd).
Sportsgeek5 continues to find success this season with his defense and goaltending focused approach to team construction, with some of the best defensive numbers across the league. Their defense is similar to Tampa Bay’s duo: you have a solid offensive defender in shepard-88 (27 points in 21 games) and a stalwart stay-at-home defender in SNAKE_-_PLISSKIN (64 takeaways in 21 games). Their offense continues to deliver, as Beantwn_beatdwn, BarDownski_90 (a team leading 3.6 PPG), and  CSM0419_ (who leads the team with 43 points) lead a formidable forward core. chadkillz134 is having a season to remember in net, going 13-9 but stopping .841% of shots and maintaining a 2.9 GAA. If Chad keeps up his play, the Wild will cruise into the playoffs and give any team trouble.
 
4. Vegas Golden Knights.
Record: 2-6-1.
MVP: Kingtom111! He survived round 2 of the Fall cleaning!
Trend: Downwards (W2).
Notable Stats: 113 goals for (5th), 119 goals against (11th).
Here’s where the rest of the conference kinda falls off. Icey’s cleanup of Vegas has drawn a lot of criticism, and people feel like he could have gotten a much better return than what he did. While they ended last week on a winning streak, it was their only victories throughout their week. Budz_780 remains a Knight, and it will be interesting to see if PghFANATIC or Heroic_veil2 will be his frequent partner. While IceyAsylum23 has played the majority of games for Vegas, expect to see Fivestarcoock put in some more time between the pipes. The Knights have a dependable forward line in GM-turned-player Diirty_triix_13, SA_Pliskin, and Lo-Maximus, but let’s not forget about lifelong Knight Kingtom111 and his 30 points this season. On paper, this team doesn’t look that bad, so let’s see what they can do.
 
5. Anaheim Ducks.
Record: 3-6-0.
MVP: xSalda-, another story of survival in the west!
Trend: Downwards (L3).
Notable Stats: 70% penalty kill (5th), 65 goals for (12th).
Well, Triix stepped down, and ExE took over after not wanting to be a GM this season and almost not even wanting to play. What a series of events! ExE-_-53 also made a boatload of trades to bring some new players to his squad, including some versatile forward/defenders in NowYoDead, SMOKESHOWJOE, and Fluri37. They have a respectable 1-2 goaltending combination in angl3dangle_ and wade-belak, and made a big acquisition to get toslick for the right wing. xSalda- may be the only Duck remaining from the Triix era in Anaheim, and with the new arrivals, he may see the same success he has had in other leagues. Only time will tell in Anaheim, but this is another team that looks good on paper and will give the rest of the conference a bit of a challenge.
 
6. Vancouver Canucks.
Record: 1-8-0.
MVP: xHAC_Rambo.
Trend: Downwardss (L7).
Notable Stats: 57 goals for (13th), 159 goals against (14th).
Albeit still at the bottom of the conference, the Canucks don’t find themselves on as steep of a slope as the team we’ll discuss afterwards. steelersfan26 got some new partners on defense in MayhemX113 and the always reliable M1keal, while tripZ504 found a new goalie to help him out between the pipes. However, I don’t think that JoshuaDuhaime will make a significant defence on this team. Myles_Mayfield96 and TopCheeseNeon have put in the most time on offense alongside xHAC_Rambo, who is actually having a good season despite the rest of his team’s poor performance. Rambo has 18 goals in 13 games, and it’s a shame that the Canucks don’t have much more help than that. Oh well. They may not finish in last though…
 
7. San Jose Sharks.
Record: 0-9-0.
MVP: Bunzy-62.
Trend: Nosediving (L13).
Notable Stats: 20.8% powerplay conversion (14th), 57 goals for (14th).
Visibility12 🦈 🏆 – GM SJ: 21/08/2020
“not gonna lie i’m having fun now that we’re playing as a unit
even if we haven’t won in a week and a half”
Yikes! At least you’re optimistic. Like Anaheim and Vegas, this is another team that has made a slew of trades over the past few weeks. However, San Jose’s trades haven’t worked out for them evidently. Visibility12 has taken over and brought back teamrun420 and Headcase25 as his defensive partners, and the three of them will make a respectable trio. WakeDog19 and SpankMeDddy could be a solid 1-2 duo if Spank plays a few more games, and offensively, Servnspike and Bunzy-62 should be able to make some magic happen. Serv is a good two-way center, while Bunzy is leading the team with 29 goals and 44 points in 15 games. Will the Sharks be able to win a game this week? The smart money says yes.
 
While the league has been shaken up significantly, some new life has been breathed into some teams that were struggling. If this new life is enough to rectify these team’s seasons is still yet to be answered, but with two weeks to go before the deadline and three weeks left in the season, these teams hope to find their answers sooner rather than later. Looking at the top of the league, we have a few teams in each conference who are looking to lay claim to the title of the best team in the league, and some that are clear favourites in doing so. Let’s see if the rest of the season is a little more competitive than the first half, especially with the team flips.
Thank you for tuning into SPNHL: Off the Ice this past weekend, which you could/could have watched live on https://twitch.tv/thespnhl_media. Fluri, Pliskin, and I are always happy to bring you the latest news and hot takes from the Sony Playstation Hockey League, and while Fluri may be away this weekend (he’s moving on up in the world! (just moving)), we still believe that Pliskin and I know enough about OBS to bring you a broadcast. Be sure to subscribe to be notified of whenever we go live, and feel free to watch archived episodes and see if any of our hot takes were actually freezing cold!
Good luck to everybody this week, we’ll see you on the ice!
Cheers,
DD.

 SPNHL Season 36: Stanley Cup Finals Recap + Awards!
By: Dirty-Dietrich
 
As we close out this season and celebrate the success of teams and players over the past two months, we need an album worthy of such an occurrence. We need an album that is as triumphant as the accomplishments achieved by the winners that will be showcased in this article. Since hockey is considered Canada’s favourite pastime, why don’t we go with a band from the Great White North? Enter: The Dirty Nil, three men who know how to kick ass and make noise from Dundas, Ontario.
Their most recent record “Master Volume” is a masterclass in punk rock and roll, especially when the genre seems like a shell of its former self. Anthems like “That’s What Heaven Feels Like” and “Bathed in Light” set the tone for the album, while the breakneck pace is serviced by “Please, Please Me” and “Smoking is Magic”. This album has no filler, and is closed by the epic “Evil Side” and a cover of Metallica’s “Hit the Lights”, and in this humble writer’s opinion, is the best Canadian rock/punk album of the past two years (sorry PUP).
 
That’s a wrap! After a five week sprint to the finish line, and three exasperating rounds of playoffs, we finally are able to crown our season 36 Stanley Cup Champions: the Calgary Flames! Initially projected to miss the playoffs in the West, this team made two key trades to improve their team from being notoriously seeded “6th in the West” to a late season surge to claim the third playoff seed in the Western conference. NowYoDead put together an impressive team that rose above the rubble in the crumbling West (isn’t it fitting how that’s a true statement regarding real life right now?).
In the playoffs, they swept the scrappy Chicago Blackhawks in the first round, and then dismantled the dominant Nashville Predators on their road to the Stanley Cup Finals. There, they faced the President’s Trophy winning Boston Bruins, and despite all odds (as well as a stupid media correspondent sleeping on them again), were able to defeat the Bruins and secure their place in SPNHL history. Calgary’s stacked top line was too much for these three teams to overcome, and was the key component to their consistent success all season long.
Congratulations in particular to Whitetees41 for winning the Conn Smythe trophy as Calgary’s playoff MVP! We’ll go into more detail about his performance shortly, but he adds another trophy to his resume after winning the Art Ross and Rocket Richard trophies during his dominant regular season. 
We’ll recap the Stanley Cup finals series in this article, as well as go over the winners of the regular season awards! This season’s awards are sure to spark some debate and incite controversy among the community, but when are they not? It’s all subjective. Sit down, shut up, grab a drink, and enjoy the ride.
 
STANLEY CUP FINALS
Boston Bruins (E) vs. Calgary Flames (W)
Series Result: Calgary wins 4-2.
Series MVP: Whitetees41.
 
Game 1
Score: 4-1 Calgary.
MVP: PBM_TroyJ.
Calgary came out of the gate with all guns blazing, as they scored four goals right off the bat while holding Boston to a goal. PBM_TroyJ scored a hat trick in the first game, while Whitetees41 added a goal and three assists as the Flames set the tempo for the series.
 
Game 2
Score: 6-3 Calgary.
MVP: PBM_TroyJ.
Calgary showed no signs of slowing down after their excellent offensive performance in game 1, adding two more goals to their total from game 1 (while Boston did the same). PBM_TroyJ showed no signs of slowing down, adding four goals to his totals, as the Flames took a commanding two game lead in the series
 
Game 3
Score: 4-2 Calgary.
MVP: PBM_TroyJ.
While they didn’t win by three goals in this series, Calgary still was able to get the victory by a score of 4-2. Boston’s defense made an improvement but their offense took a step back, and Calgary pushed Boston to the brink of elimination. PBM_TroyJ had another solid performance with 2 goals and 1 assist, how did this guy not win the Conn Smythe?
 
Game 4
Score: 4-1 Boston.
MVP: Capitalsfan_08.
With their backs to the wall and their season on the line, the Bruins were able to pull out a big victory in game 4. A reversal of fortune from game 1, the Bruins knew they had to start the night off with a bang if they wanted any shot at the reverse sweep. Capitalsfan_08 led the way with three goals as the Bruins stayed alive in the series.
 
Game 5
Score: 5-2 Boston.
MVP: DeathClxwn.
Boston had another big game, attempting to crush the spirits of the Flames who had seen a 3-0 lead pass them by. With a score of 5-2, Boston had won another game by three goals and looked primed to come back in the series. DeathClxwn scored 4 of his team’s 5 goals, and after being a big factor in his team’s victory over the Devils, was stepping up at the right time for the Bruins.
 
Game 6
Score: 6-4 Calgary.
MVP: PBM_TroyJ.
Just as the Bruins were coming back in the series, the Flames put their foot down and turned the jets back on, scoring double of the combined total in their past two games in game 6 to take the series. This high scoring affair was an incredibly entertaining playoff game, and once again, PBM_TroyJ championed much of the Flames offense with 4 goals and an assist. A dominant performance that capped off an impressive playoff campaign
STANLEY CUP CHAMPIONS: CALGARY FLAMES.
 
CONN SMYTHE (PLAYOFFS MVP): Whitetees41.
Whitetees41 has been guiding the Flames offense all season long, and that didn’t stop when it came to the playoffs. Playing in every game for the Flames this postseason, he accumulated 25 goals and 23 assists in 15 games, good for an average of 3.2 points per game. His 48 points eclipsed any other player on his team (by 17! Fluri and Troy tied for 31), and beat DeathClxwn by 7 points. After leading his team in points during the regular season and the postseason, and winning a Stanley Cup with them, is it hard to argue that Tees is the best player in SP right now?
 
That feels like the perfect segue into the regular season awards section. Before we do, I’d like to congratulate everybody on the Calgary Flames on an outstanding season that surpassed my expectations. Tees, Fluri, Troy, sabres1414, Eddie2708_, N-3-3-P-0-S-H, Visibility12, jasonw1978, BROKEN9216, and especially NowYoDead, congratulations on a fantastic season and for reaching the pinnacle of this league.
Now, let’s step away from the playoffs for a bit, and go back a month or so to the regular season.
 
REGULAR SEASON AWARDS
We’ll go with the statistically determined ones first.
 
ART ROSS TROPHY (REGULAR SEASON LEADING SCORER)
WINNER: Whitetees41.
We’re gonna be seeing his name a lot in this coming section. Tees was the third overall pick this season, and an $8 million left wing with the reduced cap was viewed as a risky move by the Flames. However, they hit the jackpot with Tees, as he scored 179 points in 43 games this season in Calgary, averaging 4.2 points per game. We’ll talk about his goal total momentarily, but Tees won the Art Ross trophy by a margin of 15 points (LeCupidon scored 164) amongst some stiff competition.
 
ROCKET RICHARD TROPHY (MOST GOALS IN THE REGULAR SEASON)
WINNER: Whitetees41.
Tees scored 105 goals this season. With the exception of 11 players, he scored more goals than some players had scored points. 83 of those goals came at even strength, while 18 were scored on the powerplay and 4 were scored shorthanded. I still can’t get over 105 goals in one season. That is actually the second highest goal total in one season in SP history, with jusalator scoring 140 goals in the inaugural season. Unbelievable. 
 
WILLIAM M. JENNINGS AWARD (GOALTENDER FOR THE TEAM WITH THE FEWEST GOALS SCORED AGAINST)
WINNER: Spencer_Knight30 (110 GA)
While Nashville only gave up 110 goals against in 45 games this season (2.4 GAA), Spencer_Knight30’s 26 starts were the most for this team. Over the course of his 26 starts, he only gave up 61 goals, good for a 2.35 GAA that beats the team average. I would talk more about Spencer’s performance, but we’ll be talking about his stats a bit later. Nashville played great team defense and their goaltender reaped the benefits of it.
 
NHL PLUS-MINUS AWARD (BEST PLUS-MINUS IN THE REGULAR SEASON)
WINNER: Kylo_Reli.
In his first season in the SPNHL (we’ll touch more on that later), Kylo_Reli led the league in plus-minus going +83 for the Nashville Predators. The Predators had one of the best goalies in the league and one of the best defensive cores in the league. As well, they had a plethora of offensive threats in PistolPete7788, Fear_mjolnir_22, and more. However, Kylo_Reli had the best plus-minus out of any of them and won this award.
 
JACK ADAMS AWARD (COACH OF THE SEASON)
WINNER: chadkillz134.
Chadkillz134 may not talk too much, but he made an emphatic statement this past season by constructing a President’s Trophy winning Boston Bruins. With the second pick in each round of the draft, Chad was able to build one of the best teams that this season has seen in recent memory. It was composed of Vezina, Hart, Calder, Norris, and Selke nominees, as well as dynamic offensive players, and overall became the best team during the regular season. Congrats to Chad on a wonderful season at the helm.
 
Now, the ones that were voted on!
HART MEMORIAL TROPHY (REGULAR SEASON MVP)
WINNER: Whitetees41.
We mentioned Tees earlier, as he nearly broke records this past season, and he was rightfully voted the regular season MVP for Calgary. He was the most expensive player in the draft, and was selected third overall. There were high expectations for Tees, and boy did he surpass all of them. He played all but 2 games for the Flames, and led them in scoring by 29 points (Fluri scored 150 points, leading the league in 85 assists). His dominant performance this season will be talked about for seasons to come in these circles.
 
FRANK J. SELKE TROPHY (BEST DEFENSIVE FORWARD)
WINNER: ttommyboiii.
One of the hardest trophies to vote on was this one, but it ended up going to the defender-turned-forward in ttommyboiii. Tommy played on a rugged Chicago squad, and contributed to their reputation with 119 hits and 120 takeaways in 34 games played. Tommy’s faceoff performance was stellar as well, winning 56.62% of his draws. He also chipped in 45 goals and 100 points, so his experiment at forward was a successful one for the Blackhawks, and ultimately a successful one for his trophy case.
 
KING CLANCY MEMORIAL TROPHY (CONTRIBUTION TO THE COMMUNITY)
WINNERS: Dirty-Dietrich and ProdigyToLegend.
Prodigy and I split this award, but I would like to shine the spotlight on Prodigy for this award. Prod isn’t necessarily new to the scene, but he is new to media coverage, and was able to do so on a weekly basis, remaining consistent and reliable. He would always give me a deadline and he would meet it, always with quality content. Kudos to Prodigy for his work on the Players of the Week article, and I look forward to working with him in the future.
 
BILL MASTERTON MEMORIAL TROPHY (DEDICATION TO THE SPNHL)
WINNER: Bufford80.
Bufford had bad luck from the onset of the season, with circumstances preventing him from even drafting his own team. Less than a week into his season, he basically had to trade the majority of his team. The Tampa Bay Lightning only won 3 games all season long, and Bufford made sure that his team played all but one game. Whether it was roster players, ECUs, free agents, whoever, Bufford made sure that his team was out there and gave it a shot.
 
LADY BYNG MEMORIAL TROPHY (HIGH LEVEL OF SKILL WHILE HIGHLY DISCIPLINED)
WINNER: Reapz2313.
Reapz has really emerged as one of the best scorers in the SPNHL over the past few seasons. While some may argue that this is due to his partnership with LeCupidon, you cannot take away from Reapz’ ability to generate offense. While doing so, he has maintained a consistently low penalty minute total, barely reaching double digits this season with 10 PIMS in 44 games played. That’s a very impressive total after an impressive season.
 
JAMES NORRIS MEMORIAL TROPHY (BEST DEFENCEMAN)
WINNER: ExE-_-53.
I will be honest, I did not think that this was how this award was going to go. However, after seeing how ExE played this season, and how impressive his defensive numbers were, I could not argue with him receiving this award. He was fifth in scoring for defenders with 32 points, but outhit all those who scored more than him (while also having less penalty minutes than most of them), and had a very high takeaway-to-giveaway ratio (0.85). A key part to Toronto’s success this past season, ExE deserved the Norris nod.
 
VEZINA TROPHY (BEST GOALTENDER)
WINNER: Spencer_Knight30.
The streak is over! Chadkillz134 has been dethroned and Spencer_Knight30 is now the reigning champion and had a wonderful season to take the crown. Spencer played in 26 games for the Predators, and won 20 of those games. He faced 14 shots a game, and saved 82.14% of them, while only allowing 2.35 goals a game. With his 5 shutouts, Spencer had all the numbers he needed to establish himself as the best goaltender in the SPNHL this past season.
 
CALDER MEMORIAL TROPHY (BEST ROOKIE) 
WINNER: Kylo_Reli.
Kylo_Reli was the first overall pick in the draft this past season, and his performance was fitting of that. Reli finished with an average of four points per game, scoring 46 goals and adding 74 assists for 120 points in 30 games. In addition to winning the plus-minus award, he was also a contender for the Selke trophy as he was second in the league for hits with 219, and had won 58.17% of his faceoffs. While his season may have ended prematurely, nobody can deny Reli’s dominance this season.
 
That’s it! That’s a wrap on season 36! It was one of the most competitive seasons the league has seen in quite some time. With 14 teams and over 160 players this season, we saw many different styles of play, levels of skill, personalities, and much more. I would like to congratulate all the winners of the awards this season, as well as once again congratulating your season 36 Stanley Cup Champions; the Calgary Flames. I’m glad I could motivate you guys a little bit. <3
Thank you to YOU! Thanks for reading these articles every week and being on my ass to get them out. Thank you for reading Prodigy’s articles this season and looking to see if he gave you a nod. Thank you for listening to Pliskin, Kozmo, Fluri, and I this season on SPNHL: Off the Ice! It was our pleasure to bring you commentary on the latest and greatest in the league, and we’ll be looking forward to bringing our show to you again next season!
For now, enjoy the time off! We’ll see you next season on the ice!
Cheers,
-DD. 

SPNHL, Season 36: Conference Finals – Players of the Week
By: ProdigyToLegend
 
Welcome to Players of the Week: Conference Finals Edition. We have finally made it to the final 2. 8 teams started in the playoffs, only 1 will come out of this week happy. The Calgary Flames and the in my opinion favourited Boston Bruins will go toe to toe to determine who will win the Stanley Cup. Before we get there though, here are the players who propelled their teams into the finals. 
 
Forwards: 
DeathClxwn: 4 GP, 8 G, 11 A, 19 P, 4.8 PPG, +6, 76 GV, 13 TK.
The most important player in the finals. If he plays, Boston wins the cup. If he misses 3 games, it’s going to be a lot tougher for the Bruins. DeathClxn in 4 games against New Jersey had 8 goals and 11 assists, good for 19 points. He led all forwards this week in assists, points and points per game. The New Jersey defence couldn’t stop him and I’m not so sure if the Calgary defence can either.
Honorable Mentions: 
Whitetees41: 5 GP, 11 G, 6 A, 17 P, 3.4 PPG, +6, 45 GV, 19 TK.
Capitalsfan_08: 3 GP, 7 G, 6 A, 13 P, 4.3 PPG, +3, 33 GV, 4 TK.
Fluri37: 5 GP, 4 G, 9A, 13 P, 2.6 PPG, +5, 57 GV, 18 TK.
 
Defence: 
DudNastyy: 4 GP, 0 G, 6 A, 6 P, 1.5 PPG, +12, 37 GV, 16 TK
Dudnasty is the second Boston player this week to get player of the week and for good reason. They completely wiped out a very strong team and potentially a cup favourite in New Jersey in short order. DudNasty was the guy for Boston on defence. Not only did he do very well defensively with 16 takeaways, he chipped in 6 assists to the offence to help propel the Bruins to the finals. 
Honorable Mentions:
The-Statistician: 4 GP, 0 G, 4 A, 4 P, 1.0 PPG, -4, 22 GV, 9 TK.
sabres1414: 4 GP, 0 G, 3 A, 3 P, 0.8 PPG, +4, 20 GV, 11 TK.
 
Goalie:
Eddie2708_: 5 GP, 4-1, .810 SV%, 2.4 GAA, 0 SO.
Eddie gets his first player of the week this season and he earned it, helping his Calgary Flames team get to the finals. He is going to need another stellar performance in the finals in order for the Flames to win the cup. Boston will have attackers from everywhere and Eddie is going to need to be on his game. With an .810 save percentage in round 2, if he at least matches that, he will give Calgary a chance to win the cup. 
Honorable Mention:
chadkillz134: 4 GP, 4-0, .800 SV%, 2.5 GAA, 0 SO.

SPNHL, Season 36: Stanley Cup Finals Preview + Conference Finals Recap
By: Dirty-Dietrich
I’ve saved some of the best for last. This week’s recommendation is one of my own personal favourites: letlive.’s 2010 album “Fake History”. We’re on the brink of a modern civil war, and this eleven year old record provides the perfect soundtrack for it. “Fake History” made many year-end lists and eventually end of decade lists, and with 11 tracks clocking in at just under 45 minutes, there’s a lot of ground to cover here.
This album covers subjects from the band’s personal lives (themes of love, life, and death) and political lives (discussing patriotism, race, class, and sexuality), doing so in a sonically intoxicating fashion. You’ve got your slower and heavier numbers for the hardcore fans in  “Enemies [Enemigos]” and “We, the Pros of Con”, the frenetic paced sprints like “Renegade 86” and “Casino Columbus”, and emotionally gripping compositions like “Muther” and “Day 54”. If you’ve been keeping up with these recommendations, you’ll see how everything kind of meshes into this one album.
 
I will say, it’s kind of nice to not be writing about my team for once this season. It’s a bittersweet feeling, but with that comes the anticipation of the Stanley Cup Finals! Two teams have endured 12 other teams in one of the most competitive seasons of the SPNHL in recent memory. Their two months of hard work are rewarded with this: a chance to play 7 games, and the necessity to win 4 of said seven games in order to hoist the greatest trophy in hockey. Those two aforementioned teams are the Boston Bruins and the Calgary Flames. 
The Bruins were expected to dominate from the start and did so this past season, earning 70 points and the President’s Trophy as the league’s best regular season team, as well as the Prince of Wales Trophy as the champions of the Eastern Conference. The Bruins have lost one game in the playoffs, as they defeated the offensively overpowered Detroit Red Wings in the first round and then swept the defensively fortified New Jersey Devils in the second round. Boston has plenty of momentum as they enter this Stanley Cup Final.
The winners of the Clarence S. Campbell Bowl as the champions of the Western Conference, the Flames were notoriously projected to finish sixth in the West at the beginning of the season. As the season progressed, the Flames eventually upgraded their offensive attack to the point where they had (arguably) the best line in the league. That line has propelled them to victory as they swept the Blackhawks in the first round, and then defeated the 35 win (lead the regular season) Predators in 5 games. Calgary has certainly heated up throughout these playoffs, and look to explode in this 7 game championship series.
Let’s take a look at the conference championship series and then preview the Stanley Cup Finals matchup!
 
EASTERN CONFERENCE FINALS
Boston Bruins (1) vs. New Jersey Devils (3)
Season Result: Boston wins 4-0.
Series MVP: DeathClxwn.

The New Jersey Devils were used to overtime, and the first two games of this series were no exception. The Boston Bruins rallied back from deficits in the first two games of this series to force OT, and ended up taking games 1 and 2 by a score of 5-4 in overtime. Those squandered leads were too much for the Devils to overcome, as Boston won the next two games by a combined score of 9-1 and captured the Prince of Wales Trophy. DeathClxwn was an animal for the Bruins in this series, scoring eight goals and adding 11 helpers as the Bruins dismantled the Devils and punched their ticket to the Stanley Cup Finals.
 
WESTERN CONFERENCE FINALS
Nashville Predators (1) vs. Calgary Flames (2)
Series Result: Calgary wins 4-1.
Series MVP: Whitetees41.
This looked like it was going to be an incredibly competitive series from the start, and after Nashville took the first game by a score of 2-1, it looked like it would remain that way. However, after a 5-1 blowout in game 2 and a 7-4 shootout in game 3, the tide had turned for the Flames and they were leading 2-1 in the series. A close 4-3 game 4 victory gave way to a 4-1 game 5 victory and the Clarence S. Campbell Trophy. Whitetees41 had 8 goals and 6 assists in 5 games, continuing his torrid scoring pace over the past two months as he and the Flames anticipate their most challenging 7 games this season.
 
STANLEY CUP FINALS
Boston Bruins (East) vs. Calgary Flames (West)
 
Boston Bruins
Playoff Record: 8-1.
Notable Playoff Stats: 5.375 goals per game (1st), 100% penalty kill (1st).
Leading Scorer: DeathClxwn (29 points).
X – Factor: DudNastyy
 
Calgary Flames
Playoff Record: 8-1.
Notable Playoff Stats: 2.22 goals against per game (t-1st), 45% powerplay conversion (2nd).
Leading Scorer: Whitetees41 (32 points).
X – Factor: PBM_TroyJ.
 
TEAM COMPARISON
 
Offense: Boston has scored 43 goals throughout these playoffs, while Calgary has scored 39. While the difference in numbers is minimal, both teams have had six goal scorers, with Capitalsfan_08 of the Bruins and Whitetees41 of the Flames sharing the lead at 18 goals a piece. The concentration of the goals in Calgary have come from Tees, Troy, and Fluri37, with that line accounting for 34 of their team’s goals (87%). While Capitalsfan and DeathClxwn have done the majority of scoring in Boston (29 goals), they have iyzcniZi and Pfarrcyde23 who have also been reliable hands on offense and can produce when called upon. While Calgary has had better luck on the powerplay, Boston has been perfect on their penalty kill, so don’t expect special teams to make much of a difference. While Boston has the offensive depth, I believe that Calgary’s nuclear line will give them the offensive edge in this series. Advantage: Calgary.
 
Defense: looking at Boston’s roster, you have to give them the immediate advantage. Dudnastyy’s move to defense is exactly what the Bruins needed, and he has been outstanding there this post-season with 12 points and no PIMS. Additionally, they have outstanding defensive depth with Graham_scott, Uberpwned_6969, and Servnspike all doing time on defense in these playoffs. With that elite of a defensive core, it’s no surprise to see them only give up 20 goals in these playoffs. However, Calgary has equaled that total and only allowed 2.22 goals against per game with a very underrated group of defenders. Sabres1414 has been noted for his offensive abilities at the point, and NowYoDead has played well at his natural position in these playoffs. Visibility12 has handled himself well at the point (unlike in chat <3), and jasonw1978 has been reliable when called upon. While Calgary has impressed with their defensive performance over the course of this post-season, Boston’s defenders outmatch their Calgary counterparts and will give them the advantage in these Stanley Cup Finals. Advantage: Boston.
 
Goaltending: let’s talk about Eddie first. Eddie2708_ is a great goaltender who has experienced success at high levels in other leagues, and has backstopped this team to the Stanley Cup Finals. His stats are respectable, stopping 79.37% of shots in this postseason while averaging 2.22 goals against. While his stats may not shine in comparison to others, Eddie has been incredibly reliable in net. Opposing him in net though is the greatest goaltender in SP history: chadkillz134. He wins Vezina trophy season after season for a reason, and enters this playoff series with the same GAA in 2.22, but has stopped 83.05% of shots against him. Chad has been to the Finals for 4 seasons straight now, and has won 2 Cups. His championship pedigree will give him the confidence and capability to outshine his opponent in the crease. Advantage: Boston.
 
The Verdict: defense wins championships. Boston also has the significant goaltending advantage, and while Calgary has the better offense, it’s not enough to get them the victory. I’ve doubted Calgary all season long, so I might as well keep up the tradition. Boston in 6.
 
For one team, the end of this week will bring triumph, and the other, tragedy. It will be the seven (six if you factor in my prediction) most important games these teams will play all season and they will need to bring their all if they want to emerge victorious. These teams will need to play gritty offense, getting into the nooks and crannies and winning those puck battles to generate offense. They’ll need to play shutdown defense against a plethora of offensive threats, staying disciplined and structured and putting in their best performances all season. Lastly, goaltenders will need to stay calm and collected, and not let the championship pressure get to them, as they’ll face a myriad of opportunities from some of the most talented players in the league. It’s put up or shut up time for the two best teams in season 36 of the SPNHL.
In the end, only one team can emerge victorious, and whoever does, you’ll hear all about it on the next episode of SPNHL: Off the Ice! Our program has been delivered in some unconventional ways for the past few weeks, but our next episode will recap the entirety of the playoffs and the awards as well! Tune in to hear us talk about you (maybe, definitely not if you ask for it) and hear Pliskin, Fluri, and I discuss all things SPNHL and from real life! Tune into https://twitch.tv/thespnhl_media on Saturday nights to hear us ramble and while you’re there, subscribe!
Also, don’t forget to sign up for season 37, which we hopefully will have some more information regarding it soon!
Good luck to the Bruins and the Flames this week as they vie for the Stanley Cup!
– DD.

SPNHL, Season 36: Week Four – Power Rankings – “The Fall of the West”
By: Dirty-Dietrich.
 
Wow, that caption is applicable to much more than just the state of the SPNHL right now, doesn’t it? In a time of anarchy and unrest in North America, opinions regarding numerous sensitive topics are being circulated with ease. Music recommendations are often aimed to take your attention away from the world surrounding you, but this is the time for information and education. My usual genre of choice is a bit biased, but lets run with it.
 
Propagnadhi’s “Potemkin City Limits” is heralded as one of the best records to ever be released on the popular punk label Fat Wreck Chords. The Winnipeg based three person (at the time of release) ensemble pulls no punches, attacking relations between North American countries at the time, the Iraq War, George W. Bush, capitalistic tendencies, hell even their own record label. Their verbal assault is amplified by their sonic prowess, and what is produced is one of the best political punk releases of the 2000’s.
 
Sorry about my absence last week folks, I want to tell you I was doing more important things but I was playing cards with a 90 year old lady. She won most games, just like a lot of teams in the Eastern Conference this past week. While their teams were successful in their efforts over the past 9 games (and last week, for that matter), the Western Conference has suffered dramatically. While these events occurred amidst some controversy (we’ll get into that shortly), it sees a once stacked conference looking like a shell of it’s former self.
 
While toxicity, questionable decisions by management, and overall poor play has derailed some of the teams in that Western conference, some teams have been able to rise from the rubble and pave a clear path to the playoffs. Minnesota and Chicago look primed to move up the standings, while the Flames have overloaded their offense and have a very good chance at emerging as the top team in the Western Conference this season. See? Maybe me saying sixth in the West was a blessing in disguise (where I clearly called out your goaltending, which you later upgraded, so you can thank me there. You could send a monetary gift for my advice).
 
This edition of the power rankings falls just before the trade deadline, so we’ll see how each team is looking heading into the last week of the season. While the playoff race in the East is quite tight, the playoff picture in the West looks fairly set (barring another great collapse, not uncommon this season). However, we could see some changes in seeding as we look forward to four fantastic first round matchups in the coming weeks.

With that being said, let’s get to the power rankings!
 
EASTERN CONFERENCE
 
1. Toronto Maple Leafs.
Record: 8-0-1.
MVP: Gucci__gui.
Trend: Upward (W2).
Notable Stats: 174 goals for (3rd), 100 goals against (2nd).
Toronto had the best week in the SPNHL, getting 17 out of a possible 18 points and claiming the top spot in the league. Playing against this team and struggling to break through (yet still the only team to hand them a defeat this week), they have arguably the best team defensive structure, and getting SNAKE_-_PLISSKIN from Boston and MLG_Owen from Chicago only strengthened their blue line. Jcfalcon21, toslick, and Gucci__gui continue to dismantle defenses they play against, with the latter putting up 40 points (24 assists) in 9 games this past week as the Leafs continue their dominance into the playoffs.
 
2. New Jersey Devils.
Record: 8-1-0.
MVP: TrueLegend07.
Trend: Upward (W7).
Notable Stats: 114 goals against (5th), 36.5% powerplay conversion (2nd).
The GM of the Devils in TrueLegend07 became the most talked about man in SP this past week, pulling off the heist of the century as the Devils acquired sedinpower from Vegas in return for shocker2004, Radyjr, and slypanther. This trade allowed New Jersey to defeat the top three teams in the league, as Sedin paired well with The-Statistician. Bstieboydp, Dirty-Dietrich (29 points this week, LFG!) and TrueLegend07 combined for 37 goals this week (Legend adding 20 helpers to his 13 tallies) as the Devils solidified their top 6 at just the right time.
 
3. Boston Bruins.
Record: 7-2-0.
MVP: iyzcniZi.
Trend: Upward (W1).
Notable Stats: 109 goals against (3rd), 79.4% penalty kill success rate (2nd).
The Bruins were dealt a tough schedule this week, and they thrived, with their only losses coming to the two teams previously mentioned in this article. Nonetheless, the stacked Boston team added some very talented (and lovable) players to their ranks this week in Pfarrcyde23 and Servnspike, while also getting Theganjamerc for their blueline (you’re alright, Bergy). Chadkillz134 continues to have a Vezina caliber season in net, while DudNastyy’s transition to defense has greatly benefited the Bruins. Capitalsfan_08 and DeathClxwn continue to electrify on offense, as iyzcniZi leads the team in points with 83 (adding 31 this past week). The Bruins were slated to be one of the best teams in this conference, and while they sit second in the standings, they’re still primed for a deep playoff run.
 
4. Pittsburgh Penguins.
Record: 6-2-1.
MVP: ACK-stonerboy.
Trend: Upward (W5).
Notable Stats: 74.6% penalty kill success rate (4th), 89 powerplay opportunities (3rd).
The Penguins are good at drawing penalties, as well as winning games when it matters most, as Pittsburgh collected 13 of a possible 18 points as they closed the gap between themselves and the Detroit Red Wings to 3 points. As well as closing that gap, they greatly improved their offense this past week, trading for Su_Dzy. Howard_1333 and Chelios24x7 are still holding things down in front of Wade-Belak , while completes a top line with Su_Dzy and ACK-stonerboy, who lead the Penguins with 15 goals and 32 points this past week in one of their most important weeks this season.
 
5. Detroit Red Wings.
Record: 5-2-2.
MVP: Reapz2313.
Trend: Upwards (OTL1).
Notable Stats: 175 goals for (2nd), 38.2 powerplay conversion (1st).
While 5-2-2 is still a respectable 12 point week, the Red Wings are tapering off at the wrong time after a very hot start. Detroit still has a lot of great players and their core from the beginning of the season, but made some questionable trades and sent freezemothasucka and budz_780 away. Patrickisonfire and Dynasty1989 are both great options to pair with Detajax17, while LeCupidon and Reapz2313 remain as productive as ever (combining for 28 goals, the latter accounting for 16). However, they lack that bonafide starting goalie if they want to make a deep playoff run, if they even make it at this point.
 
6. Ottawa Senators.

Record: 3-6-0.
MVP: SA_Pliskin.
Trend: Downwards (L5).
Notable Stats: 169 goals against (12th), 112 penalties against (14th).
Pliskin was very excited about the Senators at the beginning of the season, but ultimately, Ottawa has had a disappointing and frustrating season. The proverbial nail in the coffin for this team was the trade of PBM_TroyJ, as they were left with half of their dynamic offensive duo in bluedevil631. While the acquisitions of nuckingfutz85 and Faaa_Kueue should have been upgrades for this team, the lack of availability of the latter (and other top players, for that matter) won’t do much to help this team. When SA_Pliskin is your best player that week (17 points in 8 games), you know it’s a rough week, and one that may set the precedent for the remainder of the season.
 
7. Tampa Bay Lightning.
Record: 1-6-2.
MVP: lukaszj1980.
Trend: Downwards (OT1).
Notable Stats: 252 goals against (14th), 83 goals against (14th).
Those notable stats should be all you need to know about the Lightning’s disastrous season, as they are being outscored at a 3-1 ratio. Only 3 of their original 12 players remain from the beginning of the season, and while Tampa Bay has had success in their franchise in the past, one has to wonder what Bufford was thinking this season; not playing players at their natural position, trading away players after a bad week, and other mistakes. Hell, their most valuable player from this past week, lukaszj1980, had 12 points in 6 games but was also a -13 on the week. As the only team mathematically eliminated from the playoffs, ir’s time to regroup and plan for next season.
 
WESTERN CONFERENCE
 
1. Calgary Flames.
Record: 5-3-1.
MVP: Whitetees41.
Trend: Upward (W1).
Notable Stats: 191 goals for (1st), 37.1% powerplay conversion (2nd).
As if the Flames didn’t already have some of the best offense in the league, guided by Whitetees41 and Fluri37, they added to their ranks by trading for PBM_TroyJ to stack their offensive core. While sacrificing defense to get offense, Eddie2708_ is still holding his own between the pipes behind a mixture of sabres1414, BROKEN9216, NowYoDead, and jasonw1978. While their defense is a mixed bag that may not be the most consistent, their offense has been producing at an alarming rate, with Tees adding 24 goals and 41 points this past week as he chases the Hart trophy. Calgary has come a long way from sixth in the West, huh?
 
2. Nashville Predators.
Record: 5-4-0.
MVP: Kylo_Reli.
Trend: Sideways (L4).
Notable Stats: 92 goals against (1st), 76.1% penalty kill (3rd).

The Predators began the week by winning 5 straight games, but their momentum was derailed after an 8-0 loss to the New Jersey Devils. This game resulted in multiple players leaving the SP public Discord and some no shows on Friday. Nashville still holds the top seed in the Western Conference, but if Nashville doesn’t have their core of Spencer_Knight30 in between the pipes, ProdigyToLegend at D, and the stellar duo of PistolPete7788_ and Kylo_Reli at forward (the latter posting 24 points in 6 games last week), they might not go as far as they may have originally been projected to at the beginning of the week.
 
3. Chicago Blackhawks.
Record: 4-4-1.
MVP: ttommyboiii.
Trend: Upwards (W3).
Notable Stats: 34.2% powerplay conversion (5th), 140 goals for (8th).
While the Blackhawks may have lost one of their best players halfway through the season, the depth of the Blackhawks allowed them to turn the tide on a tumultuous week, starting 1-4-1 and finishing on a 3 game win streak. Devindags continues to thrive in net, while Bad-buzzz_ has miraculously found the time to play and done well thus far. Headcase25, marktsib, and EL_R_O_O_K_I_E have been the backbone of Chicago’s defense, FatSxyCanadian, Duchesne_x_10, and my dear friend ttommyboiii have been the pulse of the Hawks’ offense (Tommy put up 12 goals and 23 points in 8 games this week). This Hawks team has scrapped for their spot, so don’t expect them to let it go easily.
 
4. Minnesota Wild.
Record: 3-4-2.
MVP: Mclub326.
Trend: Sideways (L1).
Notable Stats: 111 goals against (4th), 113 goals for (12th).
The feel good story of the season continues, as the team projected to finish at the bottom of the West is now basically guaranteed a playoff spot. While they didn’t have the best week, they’ve been consistent, averaging 10 points a week in the weeks leading up to this point. With playoffs around the corner, we don’t see much of a change to their top six from the beginning of the season: malliaman__ is still having a wonderful season in net behind TheDrixMeister and Brxberg (JonFromEarth’s name for this week). SMOKESHOWJOE and Papadamou_l88l have remained consistent and productive on a top line centered around Mclub326, who added 15 points in 6 games this past week to bring his total to 75 on the season. Will Minnesota keep their playoff status, or will they fall out at the last minute?
 
5. Anaheim Ducks.
Record: 3-5-1.
MVP: Diirty_triix_13.
Trend: Sideways (W1).
Notable Stats: 159 goals against (11th), 55.9% penalty kill (14th).
Anaheim was projected to be one of the best teams in the leagues, and then they fell to the bottom of the standings within weeks and never recovered. The chemistry between Diirty_triix_13 and Su_Dzy never developed, but maybe the main issue was the Triix drafted a team full of (albeit reliable) buddies. While some OGs remain Ducks like Utonator and Uberpwned_6969 at defense and Power44Wheels and WakeDog19 in between the pipes, moves were made to improve this team like getting Leprechaunn_90 to play with Triix, the latter leading the team with 12 points in 5 games this week. However, it may be for the best to let this season go and get ready for #37.
 
6. Colorado Avalanche.
Record: 3-6-0.
MVP: vxWoytkiw8xv.
Trend: Downwards (L3).
Notable Stats: 106 goals for (13th),  24.5% powerplay conversion (13th).
Maybe this team’s lack of success is karma for Eggman never answering his DMs. However, Colorado’s performances this season have been derailed by poor goaltending. Between Pensrul066, Hellsfyre, and ZacharyDuhaime22, it has been incredibly difficult to get consistency in between the pipes. GaMeRzBrOknThMbZ (UltimateGamer, why the fuck is everybody changing their names?) and Eggman-1 have performed respectably at defense, and with a forward core of Jayscott555, Lo-maximus, and vxWoytkiw8xv (who put up 10 points in his 3 games this week), this team should be able to be in a better position than they are now. That’s a testament to how crucial good goaltending is in this league.
 
7. Vegas Golden Knights.
Record: 1-7-1.
MVP: hmmm-way2easy.
Trend: Downwards (L1).
Notable Stats: 179 goals against (13th),  116 goals for (11th).
Ahh, they’ll call the “Strip” the “Ruins” at this point after the downfall of Vegas. It began with trolling by their top forward, and then their GM stepping down, and ended with their two superstars being traded away. Hmmm-way2easy (who lead the team this past week with 10 assists and 14 points in 7 games) wasn’t put in an easy situation at all, but has made the best of what he has been given. He’s got players who will show up and produce like Fivestarcoock and Radyjr for their own end of the ice, while KIDMON3Y and Shockers2004 will be able to help out offensively. While this team will show up and produce, the likeliness of them winning many games in this final week of the season is Sliyum. 😉 The show is over for Vegas, it’s time to wrap it up and look forward to next season.
Four weeks down, we’ve seen the usual fare when it comes to SP: players trolling and quitting, numerous GMs being upset about trades, players not living up to expectations, and much more. While 80% of the season might be gone, this last 20% is so crucial to determining your chances of progressing in the playoffs. More often than not, we see the occasional upset in these playoffs, and with how these first round matchups are taking shape, I don’t think anybody would be surprised to see these matchups take an unexpected turn.
 
We appreciate your patience as we took a break last week, and encourage you to keep tuning into SPNHL: Off the Ice live on Saturday nights at https://twitch.tv/probablekoz. Join us for exclusive interviews, gibberish regarding league news, and much more. Pliskin, Kozmo, and myself are always ready to deliver the latest and greatest of what SP has to offer, and look forward to next week as we make our playoff predictions: one of us will likely make an outlandish pick and have it blow up in our face.
 
Good luck to everybody this week, we’ll see you on the ice!
 

• DD.

SPNHL, Season 36: Week Three – Players of the Week
By: ProdigyToLegend
 
Welcome to Players of the Week: Week 3 Edition. We got some new players and some familiar players taking their claim to Player of the Week. Some good old dominance from certain guys and some guys trying to make a name for themselves. 
 
Forwards: 
Fluri37: 9 GP, 18 G, 22 A, 40 P, 4.4 PPG, +10, 87 GV, 42 TK.
Fluri37 takes forward of the week for the first time this season. The duo of him and whitetees has been dominant for Calgary this season and they are always a handful. Fluri had 18 goals and 22 assists and 3 game winners this week, so not only is he putting up the points, he’s scoring at just the right times for Calgary.
Honorable Mentions: 
Reapz2313: 9 GP, 16 G, 22 A, 38 P, 4.2 PPG, +3, 98 GV, 33 TK.
Whitetees41: 9 GP, 20 G, 18 A, 38 P, 4.2 PPG, +12, 113 GV, 24 TK.
LeCupidon: 9 GP, 22 G, 14 A, 36 P, 4.0 PPG, +0, 144 GV, 26 TK.
Defence: 
Bostonbruins_4_: 9 GP, 3 G, 8 A, 11 P, 1.2 PPG, +16, 64 GV, 40 TK
A new player to the player of the week, Bostonbruins emerged in week 3 as a top defender in the league. Not only did this guy put up the points on defence, but he also had an insane amount of takeaways this week with 40. With 3 goals and 8 assists, he definitely gave a spark to the New Jersey team that struggled for the first few nights of the season. 
Honorable Mentions:
sabres1414: 9 GP, 0 G, 10 A, 10 P, 1.1 PPG, +12, 67 GV, 22 TK.
TheDrixMeister: 9 GP, 3 G, 5 A, 8 P, 0.9 PPG, +1, 72 GV, 21 TK.


Goalie:
Chadkillz134: 8 GP, 6-2, .848 SV%, 2.6 GAA, 0 SO.
Chad takes goalie of the week for the second week in a row with another strong showing. Going 6-2 with a .848 save percentage, there is no doubt in my mind that in order for Boston to have a strong showing in the playoffs, he needs to be on his game. Yes they may have a dominant offence, but he is still going to need to make key saves to prevent any game from being a shootout.
Honorable Mention:
xEKANE_9x: 6 GP, 3-2-1, .819 SV%, 2.2 GAA, 0 SO.

SPNHL, Season 36: Week One Power Rankings – “Something Old, Something Borrowed”
By: Dirty-Dietrich
 
Man, a bunch of new albums dropped this week. Kozmo and our old friend MG both recommended the new Asking Alexandria album, which I am still yet to listen to. The new Protest the Hero album drops next month, but until then, Western Addiction’s “Frail Bray” is going to be on repeat. The hardcore veterans made a statement with 2005’s acclaimed “Cognicide”, then waited 12 years to release the fantastic follow up in “Tremulous”. With only a three year gap between that and Frail Bray, W.A. have not lost any of their aggression or creativity and continue a wonderful year for hardcore punk. Check it out!
 
It’s very refreshing to be 20% through the season after only one week of play, but it instills a sense of urgency within teams that may not perform as well as expected. It still is only one week of play, but it clearly displays the strengths and weaknesses of certain teams, as well as certain players who don’t fit the make of the team, for whatever reason it may be. That first week is crucial for establishing momentum and confidence if it is a winning one, but if a team goes through a losing week, it can derail the trajectory of your season if not addressed. 
While you could talk about the philosophy of winning and losing, as well as momentum and reactions for paragraphs to come, the statistics offer plenty of insight into how teams are doing in this short period of time. For example; Anaheim was touted to have one of the deadliest offenses in the league, but after week one, found themselves with the second fewest goals for in the league with 25. Conversely, the Wild were a team I expected to land at the bottom of the Western Conference, but had a strong week one and find themselves second in the Western conference after fantastic goaltending and defense (25 goals against, second lowest in the league).
With that being said, we’ll go on with our power rankings after week one. They’ll be based on a combination of factors such as overall success, statistic performance, caliber of players, expectations, their schedule, and more. We don’t have anything fancy like measuring the strength of schedule and whatnot, so you’re just gonna have to trust the instincts of a guy who has played in and done media coverage for three of the biggest leagues (well, two of their minor league affiliates)  in the NHL community.
 
I’ll be handling the Eastern conference power rankings, while our old friend and SP recruiter XYuhMarvDuhManX will be assessing the Western conference.
 
EASTERN CONFERENCE
 
1. Detroit Red Wings.
Record: 8-0-1.
MVP: LeCupidon.
Trend: Upwards (W4).
Notable Stats: 49 goals for (1st), 92.3% penalty kill success rate (1st).
Initially projected for a third place finish in this conference, the Red Wings finished week one as the only team in the league without a loss in regulation. Their efforts in their defensive zone were largely on the backs of Patrick and Ajax, the latter contributing 13 assists in 6 games, as well as 22 takeaways. LRC was undefeated as he handled the bulk of the goaltending duties this week, but Reap and Cupidon’s chemistry propelled this team to the best record of any team this week. With Freeze holding down the slot, the two dynamic wingers combined for 36 goals and 73 points, with Cupidon contributing 38 of those (17 G, 21 A). If Cupidon is allowed to consistently work his magic this season, Detroit will thrive.
 
2. Boston Bruins.
Record: 6-2-1.
MVP: iyzcniZi.
Trend: Upwards (W1).
Notable Stats: 48 goals for (2nd), +15 goal differential (2nd).
The Bruins had a considerably tough schedule going into this week, and after an overtime loss to the Ducks to start the season, were able to win 6 of their remaining eight games. Chad had a disappointing week one, as the most decorated goalie in SP allowed 33 goals against and saw his save percentage dip below 70 (69.44%). While their defensive core aside from Snake is still coming together (Snake played 8 games, doubling the total of his nearest partner), their loaded offensive core flourished with DudNastyy and DeathClxwn averaging five points (or more) per game, and saw iyzcniZi take the team lead in assists (21) and points (32). Boston’s depth will play a major part in their success throughout this season if their first week is any indication.
 
3. Pittsburgh Penguins.
Record: 5-4-0.
MVP: MCoffey9.
Trend: Upwards (W3).
Notable Stats: 9 powerplay goals for (4th), 32 goals against (4th).
Serves me right for doubting the Penguins, as they were 2-4 through their first 6 games but finished the week on a three game win streak and defeated some talented teams (who are struggling, to be fair). After a trade that sent xPucky for KIDMON3Y, Pittsburgh’s luck has turned around and Wade-Belak won 4 out of his 6 games in net. Bostonbruins_4_ leads the 5 defenders who have played for the Pens with 5 points (a core that employs Jason, Howard, and Cookie), while Stoner has played more games at forward than defense (surprise!). He shares team lead in assists with Coffey, the man who holds the team lead in points  and goals (18 goals, 30 points). After two big moves in two weeks, it will be interesting to see if Cookie makes another trade this week to move up in the conference even further.
 
4. Toronto Maple Leafs.
Record: 5-3-1.
MVP: Gucci__gui.
Trend: Sideways (L3).
Notable Stats: 76.9% power play conversion (1st), 43.8% penalty kill success rate (14th).
After a great start to the week going 5-0-1, controversy ensued after Gucci__gui got drunk and missed the first two games on Friday night, leading to the first winless night of the Leafs season. It’s interesting to note the parallels between their special teams statistics, illustrating this team’s skewed balance between offense and defense. MPurch seems to have won the goaltending battle between X-_-Pulver-_-X, kush418_qc, and himself. While Servnspike and ExE-_-53 have made a successful defensive pairing, the top line of JCfalcon21, the team leading scorer in toslick (22 goals, 14 assists), and the playmaking centre in Gucci__gui (team leading 20 assists) have been responsible for a majority of this team’s early success. However, with Gui’s episode on Friday, did he unintentionally prove himself to be the essential component to this team?
 
5. New Jersey Devils.
Record: 4-5-0.
MVP: TrueLegend07.
Trend: Sideways (W2).
Notable Stats: 38 goals for (6th), 27.8 powerplay conversion (9th).
The first week in New Jersey was inconsistent at best, with plenty of high-scoring games against talented opponents (and we almost lost against Tampa, WTF). With average statistics across the board, the Devils had contributions from players at all ends of the ice. priceless_1982 and kcmedia had some disappointing weeks between the pipes, not a fault of their own as the Devils try to find fixtures at D to help out The-Statistician. NTyrrell14 and your’s truly each contributed 5 goals, while bstieboydp leads the team in assists with 13 (19 points total) and TrueLegend07 put up a team leading 20 goals (32 points) as the Devils struggle in week one and try to find their groove.
 
6. Tampa Bay Lightning.
Record: 2-7-0.
MVP: SlyPanther.
Trend: Downwards (W2).
Notable Stats: 22 goals for (14th), 60 goals against (14th).
Arguably the worst team in the league ended their tumultuous week on a two game winning streak, impressive considering the caliber of teams they won against and doing so after trading away 5 of their top players. Tampa’s goaltending has been disastrous so far, with Bufford having their highest save percentage with 60%. Not much to talk about on defense, as Bufford either hasn’t done stats or Steelers is the only defender who has played more than one game on defense (3) for the Lightning. Sly leads the team with 8 points (3 goals and 2 assists, whoever is doing stats for Tampa needs to be fired), and could make an effective line with xPucky and Defaults-Potato if the Bolts get it together and stop shuffling players.
 
7. Ottawa Senators.
Record: 2-6-1.
MVP: x_Kane88x.
Trend: Downwards (L5).
Notable Stats: 45 goals against (13th), 73.3% penalty kill success rate (3rd).
The Senators looked to be proving my doubt wrong at the beginning of the week, starting 2-2, but then went on a 0-5-1 skid as they faced off against a series of mid-standings teams. SA_ Pliskin got the only two wins for this team in net, but his average of just under 4 goals a game and a 65.17 save percentage won’t cut it in the long run. Dynasty played all 9 at RD for the Senators with WCDevon98 and teamrun420 pairing with him on the left side, and while their back end may struggle, their offense showed glimpses of hope with PBM_TroyJ maintaining his 4.7 point average and x_Kane88x leading the team in goals (8), assists (12), and points (do the math). However, the Senators need to stop their slide and regain ground in the Eastern conference. 
 
Let’s take it to Marv for the Western conference!
 
WESTERN CONFERNCE
 
1. Nashville Predators.
Record: 7-2-0.
MVP: Kylo_Reli.
Trend: Upwards (L2).
Notable Stats: 18 goals against (1st), 81.3% penalty kill success rate (2nd).
They have been dominating most teams they come across! I like this team. It stacks up well against mostly every team and they have so much talent in most positions. I expect a deep run out of this team! Leading the team’s offense was Kylo_Reli with 10 goals and 13 assist in 6 games! Leading the defense was ProdigyToLegend which is a shocking switch but it seems to be working so not a bad trade off and still putting up points with 17 in 9 games!
 
2. Vegas Golden Knights.
Record: 4-4-1.
MVP: jamie14benn14.
Trend: Sideways (W1).
Notable Stats: 18.2% powerplay conversion (14th), 30 goals for (12th).
This may be a little biased, but I believe the two teams above them in standings aren’t as good as this team talent for talent. I expect this team to have a good week, despite the 4-4-1 record. I believe they are better than that!
Leading the offense, I can’t even tell it seems like a very neutral offense statistically the talent is definitely there tho! And the defense is lead by Sedinpower and Jamiebenn, an amazing d pair as long as the availability is there!
 
3. Minnesota Wild.
Record: 5-3-1.
MVP: Mclub326.
Trend: Upwards (W5).
Notable Stats: 25 goals against (1st), 31 goals for (11th).
This team is interesting: they are 5-3-1, they have been playing at a decent level! Many of the players on this team I’ve had the pleasure of knowing! This team can be really good depending on availability!
Leading the offense is obviously Mclub 7 goals and 18 assists in 9 games a great player! Leading the defense is JonFromEarth, a great defense man who I’m shocked has finally came to SP to play d and is playing a lot with 8 games played and a 6 +/- on a team that only has a +6 goal differential!
 
4. Colorado Avalanche.
Record: 4-5-0.
MVP: vxWoytkiw8xv.
Trend: Sideways (L2).
Notable Stats: 44 goals against (12th), 50% penalty kill success rate (12th).
This team hasn’t played well so far but for right at this moment they are still right there’s this team is 4-5 and they have pieces that they usually have that take them deep into playoffs and won a few cups together! They definitely had a down week, but I believe for right at this moment that they are still a great team, just need to bounce back!
Leading the offense I’d say Woy he hasn’t played as much as some but he has the best ppg at 2.8 and is definitely one of the most important people on the team! Then leading defense is ultimategamer who played all 9 games this week while Eggman is the better player probably but in this case he’s the key to the defense being filled and he’s definitely a good d man!
 
5. Anaheim Ducks.
Record: 2-5-2.
MVP: Diirty_triix_13.
Trend: Downwards (L3).
Notable Stats: 25 goals for (13th), 45.5% penalty kill success rate (13th).
This team is better than their record. Hopefully they shape up. They have a great team run by Dirty Triix, he’s a smart guy! I think this team can do some big things! With dirty sudzy together then beaster and Uber on d!
The offense is led by Dirty Triix with 6 games with 11 goals and 5 assists. I expect these numbers only to get better! Leading the defense is Uber and beaster I can’t find myself to single out one these were my d back when I Gm the flyers I can’t say enough how much I love these two! I expect a good team defense from these two!
 
6. Chicago Blackhawks.
Record: 4-4-1.
MVP: XM1n1atur3P33nxX.
Trend: Sideways (L1).
Notable Stats: 50% powerplay conversion (3rd), 23 penalties against (2nd).
There’s some familiar faces on this team. As a whole I like the team personally but they have to find a way to work together right, but this team can surprise people, as they are 4-4-1.
Leading the offense is MinaturePeen with 2 goals and 17 assists in 6 games. Love this guy, him and tommy have been playing well together! Leading the defense is probably leading the defense I really can’t tell tho el rookie also has been somewhat decent!
 
7. Calgary Flames
Record: 5-4-0.
MVP:Whitetees41.
Trend: Sideways (L1).
Notable Stats: 44 goals for (t-4th),  60% penalty kill success rate (10th).
This team is interesting. I don’t know most of the main guys on the team so I can’t judge much but they obviously know how to put pucks in the back of the net with 44 goals, but some issues keeping the puck out of the net with 42 goals against! I will have to continue to see this team grow on me!
Leading the offense is whitetees41, playing all 9 games with 24 goals and 13 assists which is impressive! Leading the defense in games playing all 9 games is Sabres1414 seems to have the best availability but Theganjerc seems to be playing the best with a 3 +/- and a terrific 31 giveaways to 21 takeaways!
 
With the most teams in a season in quite some time, the amount of stacked teams are few and far between. While some teams may appear to have no chance at achieving success this season, one trade or good week can reverse the fortunes of that team. Simultaneously, one team can have a good start but remain stagnant: not progressing or making the necessary moves while the teams around them improve and surpass them. While the power rankings may be indicative of certain trends or strengths, it is far too early to see how the season will play out and how the playoffs will look.

We’ll dive deeper into these rankings and so much more with our weekly broadcast of SPNHL: Off the Ice! Join Kozmo, Pliskin, special guests and myself as we discuss everything league-related and beyond! Join us every Saturday night at 9 pm EST on either twitch.tv/probablekoz or twitch.tv/thespnhl_media (we’ll let you know), and make sure to follow for the latest updates on the league.

Also, if you’re on Twitch and are streaming the games, please let myself or ProdigyToLegend know so we can start compiling the weekly highlights. We’re trying to do as much as we can for media this season and appreciate all submissions!

Thank you for reading, and good luck to all the teams in this coming week!

• DD & Marv.