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Recap

Scene opens with Larry David, Leon Black, Jeff Greene, and Susie Greene sitting around a table. Larry looks perplexed, Leon is smirking, Jeff is nodding in agreement with Larry, and Susie looks irritated.

Larry: “Alright, everyone, let’s break down this Game 2 fiasco. Detroit Red Wings versus Nashville Predators. What a circus. Leon, you ready?”

Leon: “Hell yeah, Larry. Let’s do this.”

Jeff: “This is gonna be good.”

Susie: “Oh, here we go. You idiots think you know anything about hockey?”

1st Period

Detroit Red Wings 0 – Nashville Predators 0

Larry: “First period, it’s a stalemate. Zero-zero. What are they doing out there? Skating around like it’s a Sunday stroll in the park. I didn’t really care for it if i am being honest”

Leon: “Yeah, man, it’s like they’re waiting for someone to tell them what to do. No action, just skating. What’s up with that? My mother fucking time is valuable man”

Jeff: “You know, maybe they were just trying to feel each other out. See what the other team’s got.”

Susie: “Feel each other out? They’re not on a date, Jeff. They’re supposed to be playing hockey. For God’s sake!”

2nd Period

Detroit Red Wings 1 – Nashville Predators 3

Larry: “Second period, things start happening. Nashville scores three goals. Detroit gets one. This guy, xPanarin, gets an assist. xPanarin. What is that? A pasta dish?”

Leon: “yeah, Larry, he sounds like something you’d order at an Italian restaurant. One of those tasty sandwiches. i love me one of them Panarin’s.”

Jeff: “I think it’s a cool name. Kinda exotic.”

Susie: “Exotic? Jeff, you don’t know what exotic is. xPanarin sounds ridiculous. But at least he’s doing something out there.”

3rd Period

Detroit Red Wings 3 – Nashville Predators 3

Larry: “Third period, Detroit comes back. Ties it up. xBeanZy- scores three goals. xBeanZy-. What is that? A rapper?”

Leon: “xBeanZy- sounds like he’s about to drop a sextape, “flick my beanzy” not score goals. But hey, he’s doing it. Props to him.”

Jeff: “Maybe these names are like, motivational. Gives them an edge.”

Susie: “An edge? Jeff, stop trying to find meaning in everything. It’s just dumb names. But xBeanZy- can play, I’ll give him that. Leon, you’re fucking disgusting”

Overtime

Detroit Red Wings 4 – Nashville Predators 3

Larry: “Overtime. It’s all tied up. TokeNxsty gets the game-winning goal for Detroit. TokeNxsty. With a name like that, he better be Pretty…..pretty……pretty….. pretty good!”

Leon: “TokeNxsty’s got that swagger, Larry. He comes in, he sees the net, and bam, game over.”

Jeff: “I like it. It’s memorable.”

Susie: “Memorable? It’s idiotic. But he won the game, so I guess we’re stuck with it.”

Player Commentary

xPanarin (D) – Defense

Larry: “xPanarin. Defense and a pasta dish. Who names these guys?”

Leon: “xPanarin’s out there making plays, Larry. You gotta respect it.”

Jeff: “It’s unique. Stands out.”

Susie: “Unique? Jeff, you wouldn’t know unique if it hit you in the face. But fine, he’s a good defenseman.”

uStooPiiD (D) – Defense

Larry: “uStooPiiD. Are we serious? How can anyone take that seriously?”

Leon: “It’s a Jedi mind trick, Larry. You underestimate him, and then bam, he makes the play.”

Jeff: “It’s like reverse psychology.”

Susie: “Reverse psychology? You’re an idiot, Jeff. But he’s solid on defense.”

xBeanZy- (F) – Forward

Larry: “xBeanZy-. Sounds like he should be on a cereal box. But hey, three goals. Can’t argue with that.”

Leon: “xBeanZy-’s got game, Larry. Maybe we should start naming our kids after breakfast cereals.”

Jeff: “It’s unique. People remember unique.”

Susie: “Yeah, unique like a bad rash. But fine, the kid can score.”

TokeNxsty (F) – Forward

Larry: “TokeNxsty. Sounds like a villain in a bad superhero movie. But he wins the game.”

Leon: “TokeNxsty’s a beast. He’s got that killer instinct.”

Jeff: “It’s like a brand. You remember it.”

Susie: “A brand? Jeff, you’re embarrassing. But okay, TokeNxsty is clutch.”

Randymarsh2012 (F) – Forward

Larry: “Randymarsh2012. Randy Marsh. South Park character playing hockey now? What’s next?”

Leon: “Randy Marsh? Man, that dude’s crazy. But hey, he’s out there getting points.”

Jeff: “I think it’s funny. Lightens the mood.”

Susie: “Funny? It’s ridiculous, who the fuck names themselves after a trashy cartoon. I better not catch you watching that shit Jeff”

GunnerskaIe (G) – Goalie

Larry: “GunnerskaIe. Sounds like he’s ready for war. And he stopped nine shots, so maybe he is.”

Leon: “GunnerskaIe’s a wall, Larry. He’s got those quick twitch reflexes.”

Jeff: “I like it. Makes him sound tough.”

Susie: “Tough? Jeff, you’re such a child. But okay, what the fuck does that even mean? the two words do not even fit in a sentence even if separate words.”

NE0N X 8 (G) – Goalie

Larry: “NE0N X 8. Is that a name or a license plate? But he saved 25 shots, so I guess we keep him.”

Leon: “NE0N X 8? Sounds like a car from the future. But he’s solid in the net. Can you imagine cars playing hockey larry?”

Jeff: “It’s futuristic. Cool.”

Susie: “Futuristic? Its a fucking lightbulb Jeff. But fine, he’s a good goalie.”

Larry, Leon, Jeff, and Susie lean back, smirking.

Larry: “So there you have it, folks. The weirdest hockey game breakdown you’ll ever hear. Crazy names, crazy plays. But hey, that’s hockey.”

Leon: “Yeah, it’s a wild ride. Love it.”

Jeff: “I think we nailed it.”

Susie: “Nailed it? You’re all idiots. But yeah, it was entertaining. Sort of.”