www.THESPNHL.com

Recap

Ladies and gentlemen, Jeff Ross here, the Roastmaster General. Get ready for some scorching burns because we’re diving into the St. Louis Blues’ epic meltdown against the Florida Panthers. But first, let’s talk about the main clown of the circus—Lispdoge, the former team owner who decided to torpedo his own squad. If your goal was to get banned, buddy, mission accomplished. Lispdoge in net was like a bad stand-up comic—nobody was laughing, and everyone wanted their money back.

St. Louis Blues
SA_Pliskin: Zero points and a minus-four rating. You were as effective as a screen door on a submarine. Maybe Lispdoge was too busy teaching you how to sabotage your own team.

ThaFoSix: Four shots and a minus-four. Your defense was more generous than Santa Claus on Christmas Eve. Did Lispdoge give you lessons on how to be invisible on the ice?

EL_R_O_O_K_I_E: One assist, but still a minus-four. You looked lost out there. Were you taking pointers from Lispdoge on how to aimlessly wander around?

Thee_Ghosty: One assist and a minus-four. You were more ghost than player. Did Lispdoge share his secrets on how to disappear in crucial moments?

Lispdoge: Let’s face it, you were about as useful as a chocolate teapot. Seven saves and six goals against? You’ve set a new low for goalies everywhere. Enjoy your ban, you’ve earned it.

XKYROU25: One goal, but a minus-four rating. You were scoring for the wrong team. Did Lispdoge teach you his masterclass in futility?

Florida Panthers
Popeskill: Three goals and a plus-four. You were skating circles around the Blues. You made Lispdoge look like he was standing still—which, let’s be honest, he probably was.

xShxyne: Two goals, one assist, and a plus-four. You dominated the ice like a pro. It’s like you were playing against traffic cones. Thanks, Lispdoge, for the assist!

Margo I: Three assists and a plus-three. You made setting up plays look easy. With Lispdoge in net, it was like shooting fish in a barrel.

Bray4x_Fyb: One goal, two assists, and a plus-four. You had all the space in the world, thanks to Lispdoge’s “defense.” Enjoy the free pass.

kinglorge124: No points but a solid plus-four. You didn’t need to score; Lispdoge handed you the game on a silver platter.

Fra75434QC: Didn’t have to break a sweat with Lispdoge’s stellar goaltending making sure you had an easy night. It’s like you were on vacation out there.

So there you have it, folks. The St. Louis Blues didn’t just lose; they got obliterated, with Lispdoge leading the charge into oblivion. If they want to salvage any pride, they better start by finding players who actually want to win, not ones who are trying to set records for the fastest bans in the league. This is Jeff Ross, signing off. Keep those sticks on the ice, unless you’re Lispdoge, in which case, just keep away from the rink entirely.