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Recap

Moderator: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. Tonight, we have a spirited debate between Donald Trump and Joe Biden, discussing the recent hockey game between the Detroit Red Wings and the St. Louis Blues. Mr. Trump, your thoughts on the game?

Donald Trump: Thank you, thank you. What a game, folks, what a game. The Detroit Red Wings, let me tell you, they are absolutely incredible. Scored five goals, just fantastic. xBeanZy- and BejimoSzn, amazing players. xBeanZy- with five points, folks, five points. Nobody does it better. Blade0Muffin, the goalie, made twelve amazing saves. Just tremendous, the best you’ve ever seen. The Red Wings are winners, total winners.

Moderator: Thank you, Mr. Trump. Mr. Biden, your thoughts on the game?

Joe Biden: Well, you know, it’s like, uh, when you’re watching, uh, the squirrels in the park, and they, uh, they gather their acorns. The Blues, they started with one goal, like my buddy from Scranton who, uh, had a dog named Fluffy. But then the Red Wings, they just kept, uh, flying. Like, uh, when you, you know, put on your shoes and forget where you’re going. It’s all about teamwork and, uh, the moon landing, you know?

Moderator: Right, moving on. Mr. Trump, how do you feel about the Red Wings’ performance in the first period?

Donald Trump: Incredible, just incredible. Three goals in the first period, folks. They came out strong, they came out winning. xBeanZy- and BejimoSzn, scoring like it’s the easiest thing in the world. It was beautiful, just beautiful to watch. The best first period in hockey history, believe me. The Red Wings set the tone, and they never looked back.

Moderator: And Mr. Biden, your thoughts on the first period?

Joe Biden: Yeah, the first period, well, it’s like, uh, when you’re eating an ice cream cone, and, uh, it starts melting. The Blues, they got one goal, like my aunt’s cat who, uh, used to chase its tail. But the Red Wings, they just, uh, kept going, like a train that, uh, goes choo-choo. We gotta remember, folks, it’s all about, uh, unity and the, uh, the price of bread.

Moderator: Moving on to the second period. Mr. Trump, your take on the scoreless period?

Donald Trump: The second period, very strategic, very smart. The Red Wings played great defense, incredible defense. Blade0Muffin, what a goalie. Made sure the Blues couldn’t score. It was a masterclass in defense, folks. They knew they had the lead and they protected it. The best defensive play you’ll ever see.

Moderator: Mr. Biden, your thoughts on the second period?

Joe Biden: Well, you see, it’s like when you’re, uh, fixing a flat tire, and, uh, you find a penny. The Blues couldn’t score, like my old friend Jimmy, who, uh, had a duck named Harold. The Red Wings, they just kept the puck, like, uh, when you’re holding onto a balloon and, uh, it doesn’t float away. It’s all about, uh, the birds and the bees, you know?

Moderator: Finally, let’s talk about the third period. Mr. Trump, your thoughts?

Donald Trump: The third period, fantastic finish. Two more goals for the Red Wings, they sealed the deal. uStooPiiD and GerryySZN, great assists, just great. The Blues tried, but they couldn’t break through. The Red Wings showed why they’re the best. Total dominance, folks, total dominance.

Moderator: Mr. Biden, your thoughts on the third period?

Joe Biden: Yeah, the third period, like when you’re, uh, watching a sunset, and, uh, you hear a duck quacking. The Red Wings scored two more, like my cousin’s tractor that, uh, runs on diesel. The Blues, they, uh, couldn’t keep up, like, uh, when you’re late for a train and, uh, you forget your hat. It’s all about, uh, the rainbows and the, uh, the peanut butter.

Moderator: Thank you, gentlemen. That concludes our debate on the Detroit Red Wings vs. St. Louis Blues game. It’s been… enlightening.