SPNHL, Season 29: Round 2 Review/Conference Finals Preview
By: Jake Dietrich.
“Final Four in Midsummer Madness (not that 88rising crap, I miss Filthy Frank)”
Much like March Madness, playoffs in the SPNHL can be very dramatic. From dominating performances to shocking upsets, the SPNHL has been full of them so far in these playoffs. The first round narrowed down the pack of 12 to a group of 8 contenders, and this past week saw that field cut in half as we now have our conference finals set., and we have two great matchups on hand.
Before we get into that though, let’s take a look back at the second round of the playoffs. An interesting note here is that only one of the division leaders made it out of the second round, showcasing how valuable playoff experience is. We’ll do a quick recap of the four series from round 2, and see how those played their part in setting the stage for this week’s tussles.
EASTERN CONFERENCE
New Jersey Devils vs. Ottawa Senators.
Results: Senators in 6.
Coming out of the gate like a team possessed, the Devils took the first two games of the series 2-0 and 6-1. However, after a tight game 3 and 4, Ottawa blew away New Jersey in game 5, and did not look back from there. The reigning Eastern Conference champions disposed of this season’s President’s Trophy champions, and are one step closer to consecutive Finals appearances.
Tampa Bay Lightning vs. Toronto Maple Leafs.
Results: Lightning in 5.
The Leafs had one of the best top lines in the league during the regular season, and looked to be too much to handle for the Bolts in game 1. However, after dropping the first game, Tampa Bay won four straight games to send the Toronto squad out of the playoffs. Tampa avenged their first round exit from last season, and are now 8 wins away from hoisting the Stanley Cup.
WESTERN CONFERENCE
Arizona Coyotes vs Vegas Golden Knights.
Results: Knights in 6.
The Coyotes were the best regular season team in the Western Conference this past regular season but were up against the Season 28 Stanley Cup Champions Vegas. The Knights made some big moves prior to the deadline that helped their playoff push, and it paid off in spades for them. Vegas defeated a tough Arizona squad in very tight 6 game series to move on to the conference finals.
Calgary Flames vs. Colorado Avalanche.
Results: Avalanche in 4.
The Avalanche were a curious case heading down the regular season stretch yet returned to their normal post-season form once the playoffs hit. Calgary was a solid team at the beginning of the season but made some questionable moves down the stretch which may have been the reason for the short series for them. The reigning cup champions swept the Flames and are ready for more.
Let’s look at the accolades of these final four teams over the course of the past few seasons: Colorado won the cup last season, Vegas won the cup two seasons ago, Ottawa were the runners up last season, and Tampa Bay has won two straight divisional titles. You have as exciting of a final four as you could get, so let’s see what to expect from the conference final matchups.
EASTERN CONFERENCE FINAL
Ottawa Senators vs. Tampa Bay Lightning.
The Senators disposed of the President’s Trophy winners in the past round, and are looking to dispose of a team they did last season in the first round. However, Truelegend and Redflag have recruited some dangerous players in this rematch from last season. Kozmo recruited some dangerous players as well to play with Marc and Ransom in the battle of the two strongest Eastern conference teams.
Lightning’s Impact Players: Truelegend, Redflag, and Yeap make up an incredibly effective top line capable of antagonizing any defense. Bergysdeke and Louiedeuce are a very well-balanced duo at the blue line, and with a cup-winning goaltender in Rancher, the Tampa Bay Lightning have all they pieces they need to move on to the Stanley Cup Finals.
Lightning’s Keys to Victory: if the Lightning want to move on to the finals, they need to completely control the pace of the ice. The Senators are an incredibly dangerous team who are capable of overwhelming defenses, so the Bolts need to keep the puck in their possession and keep creation offense if they want a chance to move one step close to a dance with Lord Stanley.
Senators’ Impact Players: toslick won a cup last season, and he brings that championship pedigree to last year’s runner-up unit. Slotting along the wing with Marc and Ransom provides Ottawa’s offense with another lethal weapon to play in front of an offensive-defensive unit of U_1 and Noto. With a Vezina-caliber goaltender like Giroux in net, Ottawa may be returning to the Cup finals.
Western Conference Final
Vegas Golden Knights vs. Colorado Avalanche.
This is a big one right here. Sure, the squads only have a few players left from the Championship iterations of their teams, but we are watching the past two Stanley Cup winning teams square off in what should be an incredibly fun series. Both teams have dynamic offenses, solid defensive pairs, and elite level goaltending in what should be one of the most exciting battles this offseason.
Knights’ Impact Players: Prodigy is the remaining player from the cup winning Vegas squad, but his forward line is rounded out by two elite players in Sudzy and Seguin. A mid-season trade for Ajax was a game-changer for the Knights, getting a partner for CapCan to play with in front of an emerging elite goaltender in Sliyum. Vegas realistically could be going for 2 cups in 3 seasons.
Knights’ Keys to Victory: with an incredibly creative playmaker in Woy on the Colorado squad, they Knights are going to have to rely heavily on their solid defense and goaltending combination. Their in zone play and transition game are going to have to be on point if they want to beat the Avs, and with how they played against Arizona, they have the ability to pull it off.
Avalanche’s Impact Players: Woy is one of the most decorated players in SP history and is one half of an incredibly talented offesnive duo with former first round pick Stonerboy. Backstopping them are Sedin and Egg, two league veterans who have big trophy cases, and with Kamakaz in net, Colorado is looking to upstage Vegas by getting 2 cups in 2 seasons.
Avalanche’s Keys to Victory: it’s safe to say that the Knights are going to try and double-cover Woy. However, that leaves 3 players to contend with 4 players. The Avalanche are going to have to diversify their offensive strategy and draw players out of position, then take advantage with their lethal puck movement, and move on to their second consecutive Stanley Cup finals.
With two weeks left in the season, the play is going to start to pickup. We’ll all be witness to some elite level hockey complete with breathtaking offense, stagnant defense, and incredible goaltending. The 4 teams remaining all have a great chance at making the Cup finals, it’s just up to them to seize the opportunity and punch their ticket for the chance to become SPNHL Season 29 Champions.
The SPNHL media team will be covering most of the gameplay, so we invite you to tune into the coverage and enjoy the action with us. As well, SPNHL Off the Ice will be live this Saturday at 10 p.m. on www.twitch.tv/thespnhl_media, where we’ll be recapping the Conference finals and looking forward to the Stanley Cup finals matchup. We’ll see you this Saturday!
Good luck to everybody left in the final 4!
* DD

SPNHL, Season 29: Playoffs! Round One Recap / Round Two Preview
By: Jake Dietrich.
“50%”.
50%. Mathematically, you have a 50% chance of winning a hockey game. Sometimes the odds may be against you, but you still have that 50% chance of winning. Upsets aren’t impossible in this game and can happen quite frequently, as we have seen so far this season. But with the regular season behind us, this is when those upsets become much more special.
50%. 50% of the 16 teams (that’s 8 teams for all the smart cookies out there) remain in the quest for the Stanley Cup. Of the 8 teams that remain, there are many teams who have a great chance at becoming season 29’s champions of the SPNHL. There weren’t many upsets in the first round, but let’s revisit the first round then see how our second-round playoff matchups are shaping up.
EASTERN CONFERENCE
Ottawa Senators vs. Pittsburgh Penguins.
Results: Senators in 4.
A highly touted team at the beginning of the season, the Senators were not playing their best hockey heading into the playoffs, losing to a revamped Pittsburgh squad in their last week. However, Ottawa’s core of Marc of Ransom played exceptionally well, keeping Pittsburgh to 2 goals over 4 games and completing the sweep. This was a great start to the playoffs for Kozmo’s crew.
Toronto Maple Leafs vs. Detroit Red Wings.
Results: Leafs in 6.
For the first half of each game, Detroit seemed like the better team. However, the Leafs intimidating top line of Cupidon, Stamkos, and Jayscott proved to have more endurance than the Detroit team, as they were able to take many games based on their third period play alone. One of the SPNHL’s best lines continued their dominance and has given Toronto plenty of momentum.
WESTERN CONFERENCE
Anaheim Ducks vs. Vegas Golden Knights
Results: Knights in 4.
Another first round sweep went to Season 27’s cup winners, the Knights. A series of questionable trades surrounded both teams heading into this playoff matchup, but Vegas’s moves worked out well for them. Pairing Seguin with Sudzy and Prodigy provid great offensive support for a back end highlight by Ajax and Sliyum. One of the West’s hottest teams keeps moving forward.
Winnipeg Jets vs. Colorado Avalanche
Results: Avalanche in 6.
With the return of most of their Cup-winning core, Eggman’s Avalanche squad disposed of a solid Jets team in a controversy-marred 6 game series. Eggman and Sedin proved why they are one of the best defensive pairings in the league, while Woy continued his playoff success, building on last year’s Conn Smythe worthy post-season performance. Colorado is ready for another deep run.
first round of the playoffs always acts as a tool to separate the contenders from the pretenders. Establishing yourself is essential in the first round, as now you have to face the division leaders in the second round. On that note, let’s look at each second-round playoff matchup, and highlight each team’s strengths, weaknesses, and keys to victory.
EASTERN CONFERENCE
Ottawa Senators vs. New Jersey Devils.
After battling for the Adams division lead all season long, the Devils pulled away from the Sens in the last two weeks and managed to capture not only the division title, but the President’s Trophy as well. However, the Sens have had the Devils’ number all season long, and were responsible for 30% of the Devils regulation losses. Will the Devils be able to rectify that regular season record?
Senators’ Strengths: offense. Having a top offensive line of toslick, Mark, and U_1 is a great asset, and their offensive depth beyond that is very strong.
Senators’ Weaknesses: defensive depth. With only two natural defenders (Ransom and Noto), the Sens need defensive contributions from all players.
Senators’ Keys to Victory: aggression. A hard forecheck and consistent pressure on a dynamic Devils squad will shut them down and lead the Sens to victory.
Devils’ Strengths: overall depth. Even with the Art Ross winner Grammy and Norris candidate DBS, the Devils have one of the strongest teams in the league.
Devils’ Weaknesses: special teams. Their powerplay and penalty kill numbers were disastrous during the regular season, and New Jersey must rectify that.
Devils’ Keys to Victory: patience. The Devils need to take their time in the offensive zone and get creative to propel New Jersey to the Conf. finals.
Toronto Maple Leafs vs. Tampa Bay Lightning.
The Patrick division was insanely competitive this season, but it was the Bolts who were able to capture the division title, finishing second in the league. Having one of the best offensive duos in SP history helps their cause, but they are facing a scary and skilled Leafs squad. Will the Lightning be able to avoid being knocked out after having a bye for the second season in a row?
Leafs’ Strengths: that top line. LeCupidon was this season’s breakout star, and having Stamkos and Jayscott with him makes him that much more dangerous.
Leafs’ Weaknesses: goaltending. Sportsgeek is a decent starter, but his regular and post-season performance has been below expectations.
Leafs’ Keys to Victory: defensive zone play. If the Leafs want to win, they need to maintain composure and structure in their defensive zone, and not lose control.
Lightning’s Strengths: goaltending. Rancher backstopped his team to a Cup last season, and the Bolts are counting on him to do it again.
Lightning’s Weaknesses: consistency. Tampa’s record against top teams this past season wasn’t the best, so they need to buckle down against the Leafs.
Lightning’s Keys to Victory: intelligence. This Leafs team will pounce on you if you make a mistake. If the Bolts play simple and smart, they’ll take this series.
WESTERN CONFERENCE
Vegas Golden Knights vs. Arizona Coyotes
Finishing atop the Western Conference, the Coyotes are coming off of a first-week bye after a very good season. However, they are going up against a Vegas team which generated tons of momentum (when they have the availability). Will the Yotes begin a possibly dominant cup run, or will the Knights continue their winning ways and find their way into the Conference Finals?
Knights’ Strengths: their zone. With Ajax and Captain defending in front of Sliyum in net, this team’s defense/goaltending combo is one of the League’s best.
Knights’ Weaknesses: depth. Besides Seguin, Prodigy, and Sudzy, Vegas does not have many solid offensive options. They must rely on their big 3.
Knights’ Keys to Victory: breakouts. With great offensive defenders and dynamic forwards, the Knights can utilize effective breakouts to take this series.
Coyotes’ Strengths: chemistry. Arizona made very few moves all season and have lots of experience with each other outside of League. Chemistry kills.
Coyotes’ Weaknesses: variety. It shows the depth of this team, but having multiple players play unnatural positions could create issues in this series.
Coyotes’ Keys to Victory: puck movement. Zone entries may be difficult, but Arizona’s lethal offense needs to move the puck well to succeed this series.
Colorado Avalanche vs. Calgary Flames
After dispatching of the Winnipeg Jets in the first round, the reigning cup champions in Colorado fight their way west and take on the Calgary Flames. The big asterisk in this series is the sequence of moves Calgary made before the playoffs. Will the Flames’ trades put them at a disadvantage for this series, or will they silence the doubters and take away the Avalanche’s chance at a repeat?
Avalanche’s Strengths: experience. 4 out of 6 of their starters went to the cup finals last season, and they have the skill and determination to make it back.
Avalanche’s Weaknesses: depth. If they don’t get full availability from that top 6, the remaining options on the Avalanche or slim to none if they want to win.
Avalanche’s Keys to Victory: offense. If the Avs can produce like they did in the first round, they will have an easy road to back-to-back Conference finals.
Flames’ Strengths: goaltending. Uber was one of the best goaltenders in the league this past season, and is a big reason for his team’s division title.
Flames’ Weaknesses: defense. Aside from Redbeard, the defensive options for Calgary are few and far between. They’ll need a strong defensive team effort.
Flames’ Keys to Victory: grit. They need to give this dominant Avs squad everything they have and then some if they want to get closer to the Cup.
Yes, there are definitely some favourites in these second round matchups, but there have been some great underdog stories in the past few seasons as well. Look at Ottawa last season: wild-card team, and they made it to the cup final. It goes back to that one number: 50%. You have a 50% chance to win each game, and it some cases, you have to take the series one game at a time.
That’s it for me for now, make sure to tune into SPNHL: Off the Ice this coming Saturday at 10 pm EST to catch all the fallout of this week’s playoffs! Tsibs will be joined by Plisk, Reap, Kozmo, myself, and other guests as we discuss all the events that happened this week and as we gear up for season 30/XXX. Good luck to all the teams remaining, and we’ll see you on the ice!
-DD.

SPNHL, Season 29: Week 6 Update
By: Jake Dietrich
“The one where things get intense”
As we approach the last week of the regular season, we see the dust start to settle and get an idea of what we are going to see in the playoffs. The trade deadline passed this past Saturday night at 8 PM, and there was a bit of activity that evening. Some teams made some big moves to prepare for a deep playoff run, while select squads made no moves whatsoever and maintained their unit.
Trades at this point can be very high risk, especially if you have developed chemistry within your present unit. Sure, the player you are trading for could be at a higher skill level, but they could not be the right fit for the system. Make the wrong trade and your chances of going deep into the playoffs, or even making the playoffs at all, could disappear right before your very eyes.
Heading into week 7, every game is important. Many teams are still fighting for the last playoff spot, so they need to give it everything they have on the ice. Also, forfeits this week could kill a team’s hopes of pursuing the Stanley Cup, as FF point deductions are doubled this week. Let’s take a look at the standings, see who is in a playoff spot, and what teams could do to get one if they aren’t.
EASTERN CONFERENCE
1. Tampa Bay Lightning.
Record: 37-12-2, 75 Points (1 FF Point Deduction).
Playoff Position: Patrick Division Leader, First Round Bye.
In a surprise to a few people (myself included), Tampa Bay was very active at the trade deadline, moving goaltender Soicey for jamiebenn and moving Bufford for bergysdeke. These moves may have been to make up for the sudden loss of star defenseman K1ng, but this is a nice way to make up for it. With a starting 6 of Truelegend, redflag, jamiebenn/Yeap, Bergy, Louie, and Rancher, the Bolts have a squad that may be cup ready.
2. New Jersey Devils.
Record: 34-11-6, 74 Points.
Playoff Position: Adams Division Leader, First Round Bye.
After flipping the roster almost twice throughout the season, the Devils have been a team possessed over the past few weeks. They are currently on a streak of 13 games without a regulation loss (11-0-2) and are challenging Tampa Bay for the President’s Trophy, sitting one point back of them (they battle on Monday, July 23rd at 9:45 p.m.). With players like Grammyhands, Raja, BennBros, DBS, Shayne, and turdburgler, this is a Cup-capable New Jersey squad.
3. Toronto Maple Leafs.
Record: 33-15-3, 67 Points (2 FF Point Deductions).
Playoff Position: 1st Patrick Division Playoff Spot.
Having a quiet first half of the season, the Leafs shot up the standings in the highly-competitive Patrick division with incredible production from an all-star line of LeCupidon, Stamkos, and GM Jayscott. Not a lot of trades or free agency activity for Toronto this season, but they have two breakout defensemen in Dufresne and PghFANATIC supporting that top line. With many capable options in net, Toronto could make even more noise with a potentially deep playoff run.
4. Ottawa Senators
Record: 32-16-3, 65 Points (2 FF Point Deductions).
Playoff Position: 1st Adams Division Playoff Spot.
Earlier in the season on an episode of SPNHL: Off the Ice, kozmo stated that he didn’t want the first-round playoff bye as he didn’t want his team to get rusty. He may have gotten his wish, as the Sens trail the red-hot Devils by 9 points for the division lead. Ottawa made one trade all season, but they didn’t need it. With a starting 6 featuring 4 players who played in the finals last season (toslick, marc, Ransom, and Noto), they have an experienced, talented, and Cup ready team.
5. New York Rangers.
Record: 31-18-2, 62 Points (2 FF Point Deductions).
Playoff Position: TIED – 2nd Patrick Division Playoff Spot.
In his time since taking over New York, Dafoumanchew has had a rough go. After a hopeful first week that saw the team go 4-1-1 in a shortened week, the Rangers haven’t had the best of luck and are 2-7-1 in the last 10 games. New York needs to recover, as their only activity in the past weeks being the replacement of Kronwall with New360Guy. A Rangers squad with Hypey, Serv, execution, and Doug still have a chance at keeping the playoff dream alive.
6. Detroit Red Wings.
Record: 30-18-3, 62 Points (1 FF Point Deduction).
Playoff Position: TIED – 2nd Patrick Division Playoff Spot.
Holding last place in the Patrick division while still having more points than half of the league must be frustrating for the Red Wings. However, as New York has struggled, Detroit has strived, going 6-2-2 in their past 10 games. With a big week five pickup in MG, Detroit has found a scoring winger to play with Francey. Detroit GM Shepard and ChiefTrout have been great utility players for Detroit, while Tsibs has been a solid backstop to a possibly playoff bound Wings squad.
7. Pittsburgh Penguins
Record: 15-31-5, 29 Points (6 FF Point Deductions).
Playoff Position: 2nd Adams Division Playoff Spot.
After the departure of Cookie, Chad took over as the GM of the Penguins and made a HUGE splash at the trade deadline. He brought which could basically be their new top line in kinglyme, etthan, and last season’s OT Cup hero in Boutch. This Penguins squad is still a little bare on defense but are expecting big things from Ballzdeep (why must I type this?) and Monokuuu. Backstopped by Chad, the Penguins could make give some playoff teams a run for their money.
8. Philadelphia Flyers.
Record: 8-38-5, 18 Points (3 FF Point Deductions).
Playoff Position: 4th Place in Patrick Division, No Playoff Spot.
Philadelphia still has a chance of making the playoffs after a disastrous season. As a matter of fact, They got more than 40% of their points so far this season in their last 10 games (3-5-2, 8 points). Peacekeeper made some moves at the deadline picking up Diirty-Triix, Beaster, and FrankJones, forming a great team core. If the Flyers can get at least 12 more points than the Penguins this week (which is going to be INCREDIBLY tough), they will make the playoffs.
WESTERN CONFERENCE
1. Arizona Coyotes.
Record: 34-14-3, 69 Points (2 FF Point Deductions).
Playoff Position: Smythe Division Leader, First Round Bye.
A favourite from the start, Tread has done very well in his rookie GM season. This Arizona squad is another team that was not very busy, and they had no need to
be. With the exception of jennjamty, the core of the Coyotes have been there from the start. Tread, last season’s Hart winner Mjvoell, Gripp, goalieman, KillerJ, and sINGLE have been mainstays of a very good Arizona team. With a top 6 like that, they Coyotes are more than capable of a deep cup run.
2. Calgary Flames.
Record: 30-15-6, 65 Points (1 FF Point Deductions).
Playoff Position: Norris Division Leader, First Round Bye.
Another strong rookie GM in the west leads a division as Uberpwned has had a decent season as the head of the Flames. However, a series of questionable trades at the deadline have possibly jeopardized a deep playoff run. Trading away Seguin, Benn, and Bergy for Arrowhunter, Murphy, and Soicey (who is a good goalie, but a position Uber excels at himself). They still have threats like ages, Halak, and Redbeard, but aren’t as deep of a team as they once were.
3. Winnipeg Jets.
Record: 38-19-4, 60 Points.
Playoff Position: 1st Norris Division Playoff Spot.
In the midst of a fantastic season for himself, Reap has also put together a respectable run for his Jets team. With Kidmoney, Vezzy, Sam being constants at his side from the start, he has made some moves to pick up DeathClown to round out their top line and BrodtShadow to handle both forward and goaltending duties. Reap has made some good moves to help himself and Kidmoney possibly claim their first Stanley Cup in 10 seasons.
4. Vegas Golden Knights.
Record: 29-21-1, 59 Points .
Playoff Position: 1st Norris Division Playoff Spot.
In the West, no team had stronger momentum than Vegas. The season 27 Cup champions were on a roll, but made one of those high risk trades we had mentioned earlier. They traded Nuttyoutlaw, Servnspike, and Benner and got Sudzy, Seguin, and Devilspride. The availability of the first two is not the greatest, and caused Vegas to forfeit their last 3 games. The Knights still have Prodigy, Ajax, and Sliyum, and are very capable of making a run back to the cup.
5. Anaheim Ducks.
Record: 20-28-3, 41 Points (2 FF Point Deductions).
Playoff Position: 2nd Smythe Division Playoff Spot.
Scalz, a long time VG staff member, decided to try his hand at being a GM this season. Even with lesser success than he may be used to, he still has put together a respectable season and Anaheim has a playoff spot. After trading away two of their top line forwards, the Ducks are going to have to rely on their depth at the position. With Linde, Smokeshow, and duckweed, the Ducks have decent offensive options to compliment the other half of a playoff ready squad.
6. Colorado Avalanche.
Record: 21-28-2, 40 Points (4 FF Point Deductions).
Playoff Position: 2nd Norris Division Playoff Spot.
With the return of Woy (not even gonna try to spell the full name) and Kamakaz, the Avs have experienced a bit of a resurgence. If Eggman can convince Sedin to play a bit more, this is going to be a lethal team with a lot of potential. 9-1-0 in their past 10 games, this Colorado squad seems destined to return to the playoffs and go back to back as Cup champs. Picking up Stonerboy and Breezy create a great supporting cast to ensure the repeat happens.
7. Dallas Stars.
Record: 15-34-2, 32 Points.
Playoff Position: 4th in Norris Division, No Playoff Spot.
A former cup winner, Castles stepped up to the plate as a GM this season. However, he didn’t find as much success as he did two seasons prior, but he still has a chance to bring this Dallas team into the playoffs. He made a little noise around deadline time, picking up Sfic and returning him back to his home last season. With Sfic, Castles, and Tyler as a forward line and Pliskin in net, Dallas has a chance to scrap their way back into a playoff spot with a strong week.
8. Edmonton Oilers.
Record: 11-39-1, 16 Points (7 FF Point Deductions).
Playoff Position: 4th in Smythe Division, Eliminated from Playoffs.
Unfortunately for Edmonton, they are eliminated from the playoffs. Vandoos had a rough start to the season when his 3rd overall pick (martyceez) never showed. From there, it was a rough road to the end of the season. Having the first overall pick is a good potential start to next season though, and he has some decent forwards he could resign. Benner is a former Calder winner, while NuttyOutlaw was a stud for Vegas this season. That could be a good start to a winning team.
For the majority of teams here, these next 9 games are the most important games of the season. It will decide if they get the chance to go to into the playoffs and be that much closer to lifting the Stanley Cup. The rosters are settled, all the pieces are in place, and it is up to these teams to leave everything they have on the ice in search of a chance of dancing with Stanley.
I bid you adieu for now and wish you all the best of luck this week! Be sure to tune into SPNHL: Off the Ice this Saturday at 10 pm EST as there will be the unveiling of this team’s First, Second, Third, and Utility All Star teams! I am cottage bound this weekend, and I’ll dip my feet in the sand and do a front flip into the river for all of you. See you on the ice!
* DD.

SPNHL, Season 29: Week 5 Power Rankings/Trade Deadline Preview
By: Jake Dietrich.
“The one where the dead rise”
Being surpassed by Dallas, Colorado fell to last place in their division. A far fall for the reigning Stanley Cup champions, Eggman and co. knew they had to shake things up. Woy and Kamakaz played in the last 2 games last week, and helped snap Colorado’s 7 game losing streak and finish the week with two wins. It may only be the two, but now they’re carrying momentum into the next week.
A crucial move for Colorado was picking up Stonerboy prior to the deadline. A former first overall pick, this is a player who can jumpstart a lackluster Avalanche offense and form an incredibly dangerous offensive duo with Woy. Moves like this before the trade deadline can help bolster the roster for a team’s playoff push/run as we enter the final two weeks of the season.
Having a tandem like Stonerboy and Woy can motivate the rest of the team to perform at a higher level than they were prior. It seemed to work at the end of last week, and having that momentum going into the last two weeks of the season is huge. Let’s analyze the standings and see who is on a roll, who needs to make deals, and who is ready for the playoffs of Season 29 of the SPNHL.
1. Tampa Bay Lightning. Week 5: 8-0-1.
Having reclaimed their position at the top of the standings with a very strong week, Tampa Bay seems as playoff ready as they come. After an overtime loss to Vegas to start the week, Tampa won their next 8 to conclude the week. Having dynamic offense in Truelegend and Redflag, a solid defense core in K1ng and Louie, and stellar goaltending from both Rancher and Soicey, the Bolts are poised for a deep playoff push unless it all falls apart.
2. Vegas Golden Knights. Week 5: 7-1-1.
Few teams are hotter than Vegas right now, and they’re catching fire at the most crucial time. After sitting mid-pack for the early portion of the season, Vegas has come alive over the past few weeks and now sit one point behind of Calgary for the Norris division lead. With Siliyum holding it down in net, Ajax and CaptainCanada leading the defensive core, getting another forward to compliment Prodigy and Nutty could lead Vegas deep into the playoffs.
3. Ottawa Senators. Week 5: 7-1-1.
The lead for the Adams division has been contested between New Jersey and Ottawa all season, and Ottawa had a strong week to make up for their point deductions. They beat New Jersey twice in the week in potential playoff
previews. Ottawa has made one trade all season long, and with a starting lineup containing Marc, Toslick, Ransom, u_1_2_b_me, and Vezina shoe-in Giroux, they don’t need to make any moves as they prepare for the playoffs.
4. New Jersey Devils. Week 5: 6-2-1.
After a point deduction from Ottawa, New Jersey found themselves back at the top of the Adams division, a spot which the two teams have been battling for all season. A strong week 5 helped the team maintain that position. After Dietrich flipped basically his whole team throughout this season, he found a solid Devils squad. Grammy and DBS are scoring leaders at their respective positions, while Turd has emerged (heh) as a great starting goalie for a playoff ready team.
5. Toronto Maple Leafs. Week 5: 6-3-0.
Being in the Patrick Division this season has been tough, with all 4 teams being in close contention for a playoff spot. However, Toronto has been on fire for the past two weeks and has climbed to second in the division. Posting a good record of 6-3-0 this past week, the Leafs have an insanely talented offensive core with Stamkos and Cupidon leading the way, but may want to trade some of their depth forwards for a top defender for an upcoming playoff run.
6. Detroit Red Wings. Week 5: 6-3-0.
Sitting at the bottom of the Patrick division, the Red Wings have a little bit of ground to make up if they want to get back into a playoff spot. However, as New York has underperformed, the Red Wings have excelled and posted a 6-3-0 week. A talented core of forwards in Mclub, Francey, and Trout lead the team, but one of the depth forwards they have could easily be moved to help split the goaltending duties with Tsibs and take some of the pressure off him.
7. Arizona Coyotes. Week 5: 5-3-1.
The Coyotes continue to post respectable weeks, which one may credit to the return of MJ and Harty. However, Arizona has an incredibly deep team and are holding their own at the top of the Smythe division. Tread has built a great team with a lot of versatile players such as Smash and Goalieman and has no need to make any moves ahead of this deep playoff run, just develop consistency in results and performance, and take that energy deep into the playoffs.
8. Winnipeg Jets. Week 5: 5-4-0.
Sitting second in the Smythe division, Reaper’s Winnipeg Jets have had a little bit of trouble getting off the ground this season, but have done well recently, posting another respectable week. After a couple trades, Reaper and Kidmoney filled out their formidable top line with Deathclown. With goaltending
not an issue, the Jets may want to look at bolstering their defense if they want a chance to win the division and go deep into the playoffs.
9. Anaheim Ducks. Week 5: 5-4-0.
In the midst of an inconsistent season, the Ducks posted a winning record this past week and find themselves in third place in the Norris division. Being in a playoff spot is always good, but they need to find a way to consistently win to prepare for the playoffs. Scalz and Chicks are a capable defensive pair, and with 3 decent goalies on the team, one of them needs to be moved for a forward who can mesh with Boutch and Etthan on their top line.
10. Calgary Flames. Week 5: 5-4-0.
Calgary was one of the hottest teams at the start of the season, with Uber putting together a very strong team at the start of the season. However, the Flames have cooled off while still maintaining a lead in the Norris division. With very capable forwards in Ages and Halak, attention needs to be brought to the rest of the team. Move depth forwards for another defender to support Uber and another goalie to prepare for a possibly deep playoff run.
11. Dallas Stars. Week 5: 3-6-0.
Dallas has had a tough season, but there seems to be hope after climbing into third place in the Smythe division. A team who has made more moves than New Jersey, Castles has built himself a team that has a chance at surprising some people this deep in the season. Having Pliskin in net, Ush and RickRage at D, they have a solid back-end of the ice. With a surplus on D, moving acquiring a defender to support Tyler and Castles needs to be the next move taken.
12. Colorado Avalanche. Week 5: 2-7-0.
As mentioned before, Colorado finished the week with 2 wins and the return of some of their top stars from last season’s Cup winning squad. If these players are more available going forward, this is definitely a team to watch out for. Woytikw and Stonerboy can be dangerous up front, and with Eggman, Sedin, and Kamakaz responsible for the other end of the ice, efforts need to be put into finding another playmaker to compliment the two goal scorers.
13. Philadelphia Flyers. Week 5: 2-7-0.
Two wins for the Flyers is huge for the team as they have struggled all season long. Sitting at the bottom of the Adams division and the league, Philadelphia needs to make a big splash here at the deadline. Picking up Triix and Snapshot were already big moves and could make a lethal forward line with Frankjones.
Get Deadant a solid defensive partner, and Peacekeeper’s team has (albeit a slim one) a chance at being a Cinderella story this season.
14. New York Rangers. Week 5: 1-8-0.
Yikes. Not the kind of week Dafoumanchew and the Rangers were looking for. They seemed to start strong after the week 3 debacle, but have reached a rough patch as evidenced by the lone win in this past week. New York has a talented group even after the roster shakeup, with Doug and Execution on defense and Hypey and Serv at forward. Perhaps moving Kronwall for a decent support forward can help wake up a New York offense which seems dormant.
15. Pittsburgh Penguins. Week 5: 0-9-0.
When your management team quits halfway through the week, the outlook is not positive. Having lost all their games this week (and many of them being forfeit losses), there was some good news for Pittsburgh as goaltender extraordinaire Chad has stepped up to the plate and become their new GM. With Beaster and Smokeshow as two established forwards, trading some of their depth forwards for a strong partner for Redbeard could help turn things around.
16. Edmonton Oilers. Week 5: 0-9-0.
Another very rough week for Edmonton doesn’t help their position at the bottom of the Norris division. They need to find a way to rebound from this week and the trade deadline is the best time to rebuild. Vandoos guards the cage while Murphy and Dustywall handle most of the defensive duties, and with an abundance of depth forwards, it may be time to package a few of them up and get somebody who can help Caper and Arrow return to form.
With the deadline approaching this Saturday, teams are going to need to do three things. 1.) Identify who and what works, 2.) Get rid of who and what doesn’t work, and 3.) Develop chemistry and strategy with what remains. Any team looking to go dep into these playoffs needs to follow that formula. Otherwise, that team can kiss their dreams of hoisting the Cup goodbye.
Check out SPNHL: Off The Ice this coming Saturday, where we will recap any moves that were made and the implications they may have!
See you soon,
DD

SPNHL, Season 29: Week 4 Update
By: Dirty-Dietrich.
“The one where everybody gets drunk during the week”.
“It’s a celebration, bitches!” Dave Chapelle’s portrayal of Rick James from Chapelle’s Show was incredibly entertaining, and this season has been nothing short of that. On the topic of celebrations, this was a shortened week with Canada Day and Independence Day in ‘MERICA. Bossman decided we were taking Monday off, but that didn’t make as much of a difference as he hoped. Availability wasn’t the best this week, which had a major affect on some teams.
Availability can be very crucial to teams; look at the case of Arizona. They have had a diminished roster for the majority of the season, basically up until this past week (maybe the shortened week helped with that, ironically?). Getting back some key players helped them go 5-1-0 this past week and help tie them for the top spot of the Western Conference with 44 points. If they had that same 5-1 ratio for the past three weeks, the rest of the league would be in loads of trouble.
Maybe we still are.
Anyways, enough about Arizona. Tread is probably more gassed up than all the cars in a Nascar race. Let’s take a look at the conference standings and analyze the past week for each team as we move towards a full-length week!
EASTERN CONFERENCE
1. New York Rangers. This week: 4-1-1.
After half the team left the league, Dafoumanchew took control of a diminished Rangers squad and put together a solid week. Their opponents were no slouches either, so scrambling to put together a team and putting together a 9 point week is a great start and a positive sign of things to come.
2. Tampa Bay Lightning. This week: 3-2-1.
The Bolts were in the best situation possible heading into this week after the Rangers fiasco, being hot on their tails and having the firepower in the redflag and TrueLegend duo to catch up and take the division and conference lead. However, a 7 point week was decent, but not what Tampa wanted.
3. Toronto Maple Leafs. This week: 5-1-0.
Ending the week on a four game point streak, the Leafs shot up the standings with a 10 point week. They kicked our asses on Friday night, and have one of the most potent offenses in the league, scoring 155 goals this season, good for second in the league. The sky is the limit for Stammer, Cupid, and co.
4. New Jersey Devils. This week: 4-2-0.
How did this happen? My team is tied for fourth in the conference and after getting our asses kicked by Vegas in game 1 on Tuesday, salvaged the week with a 4 game win streak to finish with 8 points. Having the lead-leader in goals scored never hurts, but the Devils need contributions from all players on the ice.
5. Ottawa Senators. This week: 3-2-1.
Tied for fourth in the conference and the Adams Division lead with 44 points, the Sens were a team plagued with availability issues this past Tuesday night. They rebounded with 3 wins on Friday, and need to keep the momentum going if Kozmo, Ransom, Marc and co. want to make it back to the Stanley Cup finals.
6. Detroit Red Wings. This week: 1-5-0.
A tough week with a tough schedule and, you guessed it, tough availability caused some issues for the Red Wings this week, who only put up 20 points in the ultra-competitive Patrick Division. They still have 39 points and with a strong rebound next week, could get themselves back in contention for a playoff spot.
7. Pittsburgh Penguins. This week: 0-5-1.
Yikes. Tough week for Cookieman’s squad, who have just had atrocious luck this season. Their lineup has been in constant flux, but now have a decent combination of offense, defense, and with the recent pickup of Chadkillz, have a goaltender who can take them from a 27-points team to a 27-wins team.
8. Philadelphia Flyers. This week: 0-5-1.
The Flyers have had a dismal season so far, but at least they got a point out of a very tough week. Peacekeeper has had a revolving door in his offence this season, but getting Sfic may be the start to somewhat of a turnaround for them. Cmon Vinny, salvage this season and end up with a respectable record buddy.
WESTERN CONFERENCE
1. Arizona Coyotes. This week: 5-1-0.
Hey Tread, look at you! Top of the conference! Good job hombre. The return of MJ to the Coyotes was very much welcomed, as the reigning Hart Trophy winner brings another dangerous element to a very talented Arizona squad. If they can maintain their lineup, this team has the potential to make it to the Cup Finals.
2. Calgary Flames. This week: 3-3.
The former undisputed leaders of the Western Conference are now tied for that position at 44 points, but still lead their division. However, a mediocre week allowed other teams to close the gap on their lead. Uber’s squad needs a big rebound week, and needs stellar performances from Benn and Seguin.
3. Winnipeg Jets. This week: 6-0.
Reap’s team was the only team to go undefeated this past week and are on a 7 game win streak, which has helped them climb the standings in the Western Conference and bring life to the Smythe Division. Kidmoney and the rest of the Jets need to maintain momentum and keep flying (PUN) towards the playoffs.
4. Vegas Golden Knights. This week: 5-1-0.
Why, hello Vegas? The Knights have had a strong team ever since winning the cup two seasons ago, even though only remaining player from that team is Prodigy. It took the Knights a bit to get going, but after a 10 point week and sitting at 32 points, it may be hard to stop Sliyumshady’s squad.
5. Anaheim Ducks. This week: 3-1-2.
The Western Conference has underachieved a bit this season, but Scal_Yanks and co. turned in a decent week, collecting 8 of a possible 12 points. They still sit at 26 points and third in their conference, but with a forward duo like Boutch and etthan, they have a very underrated and capable offensive core.
6. Colorado Avalanche. This week: 2-4-0.
The reigning Stanley Cup champions got hit by Carolina syndrome and are in danger of not making the playoffs. The lack of availability from players like Woy and Kamakaz has been a huge factor for Colorado’s lack of success, but they still sit at 23 points and if their stars return, could easily triple that number.
7. Dallas Stars. This week: 2-3-1.
Another team plagued by consistent roster turnover, Dallas sits tied for second-last in the conference and the bottom of their division with 17 points. However, they got just about a third of their points over the past week, and if Castles makes the right moves, this team could still fight for a playoff spot.
8. Edmonton Oilers. This week: 0-6-0.
Tied with Dallas for 17 points for second-last (and technically last, now that I think about it), Vandoos’ Oilers squad had a disastrous week and are on an 11 game losing streak. The rest of the Western Conference stepped up this week, and though it wasn’t their week, Caper and Hunter need to turn it around next week.
The Western Conference was full of pleasant surprises this week, while the Eastern Conference struggled to an extent (with the exception of Toronto). Although there is a lack of parity in points, there are still many teams who have a great chance at winning the Cup. 4 weeks into the season and with the trade deadline slowly approaching, teams need to finalize their roster and develop chemistry, and prepare themselves for a shot at the cup (or golfing, who knows).
Good luck in week 5, everybody. We’ll see ya next week!
-DD.

SPNHL, Season 29: Week 3 Update
 
 
Why hello again, SPNHL. I’ve missed you dearly. I’ve been enjoying the sunny weather in Toronto and jamming classic rock all day (Faith No More are like, the best band of all time). I wish the former was true, I’ve been working nonstop in finding a new place to live and a new job closer to home, so I haven’t had as much time as I would like to do these reports. BUT GUESS WHAT? WE’RE BACK. Well, I am. And going forward, expect a regular frequency of articles.
At the beginning of the season, Goalieman was kind enough to post a breakdown of the 16 teams we have vying for the Stanley Cup of the SPNHL. In that report, he looked at the strengths and weaknesses of the team and gave some projected results for the team. Being 3 weeks in to a 7 week season, I think it’s time we take a look at his predictions, see some top performers, and see if GOALIEMAN HAS A F**KING CLUE OF WHAT HE’S TALKING ABOUT.
(he probably does, the dudes smart and likes independent pro wrestling. Nice)
EASTERN CONFERENCE
New Jersey Devils:
(Hey, Goalieman started with my team so I will too. Get bent.)
WHAT GMAN SAID: Gman said the Devils could be “sneaky good” and would end up being a bottom half playoff team, citing the biggest question marks being goaltending and offensive help outside the top 3 forwards.
WHAT HAS HAPPENED: WE TRADED HALF OF THE TEAM. Beaster and Doc were traded for MG, Ajax and Shadow were traded for NowYoDead and Pliskin, and Hypey and DeathCLown were traded for Grammy and what eventually became Raja_Sandhu. The Devils have been battling for the top seed in the Adams division with the reigning Eastern Conference champs, the Ottawa Senators.
WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN: Having a complete roster turnover, the Devils need to figure out which lines work and which lines don’t work. DBS and NYD have played together before, while Raj and Grammy are two offensively gifted players to play around the defensive-minded MG and Dirty-D. With a solid goaltending duo in Plisk and Turd, the Devils have what it take to make magic happen.
Toronto Maple Leafs
WHAT GMAN SAID: Toronto has a solid group of forwards but were lacking in defense and goaltending. They needed to score to keep pace with the rest of the league and would finish as a middle pack playoff-team.
WHAT HAS HAPPENED: Toronto are sitting at the bottom of an ultra-competitive Patrick division (with a record that would have put them 2nd in the Western Conference). However, as Gman said (good job, look at you go), goaltending has been an issue. They have no defined starting goalie and each netminder who has played for the Leafs have a save percentage below %.750.
WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN: Goaltending needs to be addressed, and they have the parts up front to utilize in the case of a trade. This team has a fantastic top line of Stamkos, Cupidon (who I’m kicking myself in the ass for trading (next time, respond man, jeez)), and Jayscott, leaving some other forwards as potential trade pieces. Get a better goalie, play that top line more, and the Leafs could make a splash.
OTTAWA SENATORS
WHAT GMAN SAID: Koz brought back a strong roster and drafted well, bringing a lethal top line of Marc, Ransom, and Toslick. The only weakness at the beginning was goaltending (duh, Kozmo is there), but would finish top 2 in the East.
WHAT HAS HAPPENED: NOPE. Ottawa has been successful, but not dominant. After lacking in the goaltending department, Koz traded for cgiroux, who has been solid for them. Marc and Slick have played a fair bit of games up front, but the lack of consistency from their linemates has been another issue and maybe the main reason why Ottawa isn’t running away with the East.
WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN:
USE MUSE. You think I’m kidding, but I’m not. Throw that guy on D with u12 blah blah blah and have Ransom, Slick, and Marc light it up as an elite forward line. Keep Giroux in net and keep the Beach Ball Bomber (koz) away from the pipes, and the Senators will return to a championship form and reclaim their throne upon the top of the East.
PITTSBURGH PENGUINS
WHAT GMAN SAID: This was Cookie’s best roster yet. They had a strong offensive core and a good goaltending situation. If they could figure out the defense, this team could be very good and a top-half playoff team.
WHAT HAS HAPPENED: Not a whole hell of a lot. Pittsburgh has had some issues keeping up with the rest of the strong conference and has fallen to third in the Adams division. Goaltending has been a big issue for them, as they are giving up just under 4 goals a game. They have not been an offensive juggernaut like they were predicted, and their lack of overall depth has been a big issue.
WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN: The Penguins need to develop a strong starting lineup at forward (they have the pieces to do so), and then solve their issues at the other areas of the ice. Having Triixx and Beaster is a good start, but they need veterans like Linde and Stonerboy to step up and fill that hole up front and fill the net. Get Shayne a good partner at D and find solid tending, and the Penguins can turn this ship around.
PHILADELPHIA FLYERS
WHAT GMAN SAID: The Flyers have a strong offensive group who can support a decent but not great defense. Expect the team to battle for a playoff spot, most likely making it in. Man, Gman had high hopes for this team. I like his optimism.
WHAT HAS HAPPENED: Peacekeeper got bitten by the Philly curse and has had an atrocious season. Sitting at the bottom of the league with less than 2 goals per game, Philly has not been able to get much going. The McAvoy fiasco and a bunch of poor attitudes have left Philadelphia in shambles. However, there is still hope for this team if they want to make something respectable out of this season.
WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN: Peace, for the love of god, play Halak, Joe, and Freak as your top line. That could be a surprisingly dangerous line if given time to develop chemistry. Defensively, Philly has a bunch of solid pieces (hey Monokuuu) and could keep them in games. Goaltending is the biggest issue right now but picking up the Turtle could help Philly immensely if he plays well.
DETROIT RED WINGS
WHAT GMAN SAID: Trout is gonna win the Hart. (JK). Gman touched on the fact that although offense and defense was average, their goaltending was good (with Tsibs? Hmm… (love ya)). He expected a mid-lower place in the standings.
WHAT HAS HAPPENED: WRONG AGAIN GMAN. Detroit has surprised a lot of people by keeping pace in the insanely-tight Patrick division. Sitting at 37 points, they would be leading the division if they were in any other division. Francey (Purplecrayon, why did you pick that name?) and Fivestar have been carrying the majority of the workload up front with equal contributions from the rest of the team, while Trout has been holding it down at D. Sibs and Dubs have been an effective goaltending tandem in a surprisingly good Red Wings team.
WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN: They need to find a way to slay the dragons of the Patrick division. Everything has been clicking for the Red Wings, so no moves are really necessary right now. If they can get Mclub playing a bit more with FiveStar and Francey, that could be a dangerous top line and what Detroit needs to propel themselves to the top of their division.
TAMPA BAY LIGHTNING
WHAT GMAN SAID: TrueLegend put together another solid team with a strong offensive core. The defense could be a bit of an issue, and Rancher will need to play solid for the team to finish in the top 3-5 in the East.
WHAT HAS HAPPENED: Man, when will we ever learn that TrueLegend and Redflag are insane together. Throw in Yeap and the team has managed to get themselves into the 2nd spot in the East. Louie and K1ng have formed an effective top 2 pairing, while Rancher and Soicey have been a very effective goaltending combo to compliment the team’s scoring touch.
WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN: The team has no glaring weaknesses to this point, so they just need to work on consistency and a good overall team defensive structure. They are the highest scoring team in the league, and they need to keep putting up those high numbers if they want to take their division. However, there is one big obstacle in the way if they want to do so…
NEW YORK RANGERS
WHAT GMAN SAID: Noting their ability to score and their defensive prowess, Goalieman said this team should be a top-2 team in the Eastern Conference. Gman hit the nail right on the head with this one.
WHAT HAS HAPPENED: Despite some controversy, New York has run away with the league. Trading Grammyhands for Hypey was the only big change they have made to a very solid lineup, with Hyper putting up ridiculous points and having everybody around him (including Barzal, Stammer, and Mike) doing the same. Chadkillz has been one of the best goalies in the league this season, and rounds out a very dangerous Rangers squad.
WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN: Focus. The Rangers can’t get sidetracked by the controversy that has arisen over the past few weeks. Some close games and losses against some top teams may have installed some humility in the team, but they need to remain confident in their abilities and keep pushing forward, or they will slip in a super-tight Eastern conference.
WESTERN CONFERENCE
COLORADO AVALANCHE
WHAT GMAN SAID: Eggman returned with three key players in their dominant cup run from last season, but they aren’t as deep as they were last season. Still a great team who are projected to finish near the top of the West.
WHAT HAS HAPPENED: Colorado have the least goals for in the West and sit in third place in their conference. Goal scoring and special teams have been huge issues for this team, but the main culprit is their availability. When your main players have limited availability and you lack the depth that other teams have, you’ll be prone to some bad nights and Colorado, unfortunately, has had plenty.
WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN: Get your stars playing whenever they van. Woy, Sedin, and Kama have played less than 10 games each. Those 3 players are studs and can be game changers, and when you throw all 3 into one game, your chances of victory drastically improve. Get Woy some decent and consistent players to anchor his line, and this team could fight their way back to a Cup.
VEGAS GOLDEN KNIGHTS
WHAT GMAN SAID: Slim had some decent resigns and drafted well. They had a strong offensive core, but could possibly falter due to their lack of defensive depth. This is a competitive team, and with good chemistry, quite dangerous too.
WHAT HAS HAPPENED: THEY TRADED THE COMMISH. Vegas has made a lot of moves this season, with Prodigy and Slim being the only survivors of a complete roster overhaul. They are second in their division behind a strong Calgary team, but there is a severe lack of goal scoring for the Knights. This has left them with a losing record and a need to make some changes.
WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN: Keep this line of Nutty, Serv, and Prodigy together and give them some time to build, while Pooky is another talented forward who could play with them. Ajax was a good pickup for Vegas, who could pair very well with Slim and play a solid defensive game in front of Shadow. This team has the potential, but they need to start executing before it is too late.
ANAHEIM DUCKS
WHAT GMAN SAID: Scalz put together a solid team that had a couple holes at defense and in goalie, but otherwise had a good offensive core. Goalieman expected this team to finish middle of the pack or higher.
WHAT HAS HAPPENED: The West has been much weaker than the East this year, and Anaheim has fallen to third place in their division. They have had some issues with goal scoring with just under 2.3 goals a game, while their goaltending issue hasn’t been fixed (Gman with another good call). The decent group of forwards they have just doesn’t seem to be clicking.
WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN: That forward core needs to develop chemistry and start putting the puck in the back of the net. Sudzy also hasn’t been playing as much as Scalz would probably like, so if that changes, look out. They have the tools they need at defense and in net (getting Rent-a-goalie was a good move), they just need to hit the refresh button on a frustrating first 3 weeks.
WINNIPEG JETS
WHAT GMAN SAID: With the classic ReapMoney connection still intact, Winnipeg had a solid offensive core to start. And with the addition of dominant goaltender Vezzy, they could be a middle-top team.
WHAT HAS HAPPENED: Winnipeg sits second in their division and third in their conference, albeit with only 24 points. They have had a lack of goals for, but keeping their goals against numbers low have kept them in contention. Picking up DeathClown and Benner could be what this team needs to start putting up goals, but they still need to address a lack of depth at defense after trading away two solid defenders.
WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN: After getting our asses kicked by this squad last night, I’m not too sure if much needs to change other than acquiring a solid defender. If you get a good two-way defender who can contribute effectively at both ends of the ice, then this Winnipeg team has what it takes to give Calgary a run for their money and take not just the division but the Conference.
DALLAS STARS
WHAT GMAN SAID: Gman went for it and said this team wouldn’t be particularly great off the bat. Nice. He saw weaknesses down the middle and at D, but said they may be able to contend for a playoff spot.
WHAT HAS HAPPENED: Dallas has had a revolving door this season, having very few players left from their original roster. This lineup inconsistency and lack of chemistry has resulted in a bit of a struggle this season. Castles, Tylerisgod, Ush, and Luketheduke are the only players left from that original squad, who are currently sitting at the bottom of the conference with 12 points.
WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN: STOP TRADING. STOP IT. Make a top line with Castles, Tyler, and Snapshot. Have M1keal and Doug play D. Have Luke handle goaltending duties and have a backup or two at each position, and Dallas has a decent starting 6. Keep that lineup for the rest of the season, and in an underachieving Western conference, the Stars can scrap their way back into a playoff spot.
EDMONTON OILERS
WHAT GMAN SAID: Buddy called Vandoos the darling of the league. I like it. Gman said that this Edmonton roster was much stronger than last year’s but to still expect them to battle for the final playoff spot or lower than that. Ouch.
WHAT HAS HAPPENED: He was right! Vandoos has had a season plagued by no-shows, team conflicts, and a lack of goal scoring. Some changes were made to bring in new wingers for Arrowhunter and Caper to play with, but to no avail so far. Defense has been handled by Murphy and Dustywall, but they lack that next-level player who can have an impact at both ends of the ice.
WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN: There are a bunch of forwards on this team who aren’t being used as much as they should, so expect Vandoos to make a trade to bring in a solid defender who can kickstart the offense and hold down the fort in his own zone. Also, find a winger who will consistently play with Caper and Arrowhunter, and the Oilers can crawl their way back into the fight for the Smythe division.
ARIZONA COYOTES
WHAT GMAN SAID: Goalieman is a biased prick and said the team would end up near the top of the conference. He has a point though; even with the lack of LD, they had enough depth and versatility to contend with any team.
WHAT HAS HAPPENED: Nailed it. Bastard. Arizona is leading the Smythe division and are second in the conference, even without much playtime from their stars in MJ and Harty. KillerJ has been a pleasant surprise on defence for Arizona, while Tread, Jennjam, and Gripp have productively handled the offense. Goalieman and Single_G have formed an effective goaltending tandem for what is an overall solid team.
WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN: GET MJ’S INTERNET FIXED AND THIS TEAM WINS THE CONFERENCE. THAT’S IT. NEXT TEAM.
Nah we’ll hang around for a bit. Get MJ and Harty playing and this team becomes incredibly dangerous and well balanced. This team has the potential to go to the cup final, and even win the damn thing. They have the depth at all areas of the ice, which very few teams have.
CALGARY FLAMES
WHAT GMAN SAID: Uber drafted a competitive team who had a defensive core better than a lot of teams and had the ability to score their fair share of goals. Even with all that, Goalieman said “mid pack 3 to 4”. Guess what? WRONG.
WHAT HAS HAPPENED: The Western conference may not be that strong, but they are the strongest team in it and third in the league. Winning the Norris division by a considerable margin, Calgary has had great contributions at all areas of the ice. Their offense has had the second most goals in the conference, they have given up the fewest goals in the conference, and they don’t have a visible weakness.
WHAT NEEDS TO HAPPEN: They need to solidify their starting goaltender, who looks to be Seguin from what I have heard from Uber. Interesting choice, as Seguin is one the league’s better forwards. However, if they do make that move, they have the depth to make up for the move. Given the move works out, hey will be a team to give Arizona a run for it’s money and possibly be the team to come out of the Western Conference.
Holy moly, that was a long one.
We missed three weeks, so we might as well get back into the thick of things. There are some teams in the Western Conference who could sneak back into things, while the Eastern conference is still incredibly tight. In a long season like this one, expect players to get better as time rolls on and develop chemistry with their linemates. There has been an ample amount of trading in this season, and some of the more successful teams have made little to no moves at all.
This upcoming week is a shorter week, and I encourage teams to take the time to practice. Develop the structure of your team, work on communication, and come back into the next full week stronger than you were before. Enjoy the brief rest that a shortened week may provide, but don’t take it too easy. Sorry Rangers, but this is still anybody’s season. And I want to remind everybody of this:
Players win awards.
Teams win championships.
Enjoy the long weekend, everybody. Catch ya later.
* Dirty-Dietrich.
(Or I guess Jake now, thanks Sibs)

This season looks to be one of the most competitive we have had in quite some. Some teams look better on paper than others but there is a reason we play the games right? With a lot of new GMs taking over there was a ton of uncertainty heading into draft day. I feel the rookie GMs did a decent job and looks like theres no definitive bottom feeder roster as I can see. Lets take a look at how the west size up with each other.
Colorado Avalanche
Returning verteran GM eggman returns and attempts to build on a dominant cup run. Resigns were vxWoytkiw8xv, Sedinpower, and himself. With the last pick in 1st round they took Breezy5457 and Ucantcme_kamakaz. This is a great starting roster and they also added, C Socotimmer13, lxl-C-lxl, Cam123mph, Neeposh_patrick, and FOXYHRC0314. I think this will be a very good team they arent as deep as last season but egg did a great job building a balanced roster. The top line looks to carry the Avs this season but still have some decent depth. I place the Avs in the upper echelon of the west.
Projected Starting Lineup
LW vxWoytkiw8xv
C Socotimmer13
RW Breezy5457
Rd sedinpower
LD eggman–1
G Ucantcme_kamakaz
Vegas Golden Knights
SliyumShady is a rookie GM but has been around this league for a while. Slim decided to retain SA_Pliskin, prodigytolegend, and captain21canada. With their 1st round selection they choose ShotI72I and in round 2 another RW in Kinglyme89. They followed up these picks with PoOkY_Qc_87, brenoamaral17, LukeTheDuke28, and TeamNutsak. I feel this team will be competitive but this team could falter due to a lack of defensive depth. Also an interesting development will be who gets more games between kinglyme and one shot. If they figure this situation out and slim and nutsack play well together this team could be legit.
Projected Starters
C prodigytolegend
LW brenoamaral17
RW Kinglyme89/ShotI72I
LD SliyumShady
RD TeamNutsak
G SA_Pliskin
Anaheim Ducks
Scalz_Yanks_24 takes a try at GM in SP but he is a veteran GM in other leagues. Shaynestaa and deadant were kept via resign and they chose Sudzy92_ with the 2nd pick in draft. They followed that up by taking ChiTownMenace, xXM1NORTHREATXx, dophares2000, Boutch_87, RIGHT-POWER, Etthan, and New360Guy. On paper this team looks to have some holes on LD and G because I have doubts that Sudzy is playing goalie. (no matter how much he tells us hes an elite tendy lol) If they solve these “problems” they could be a middle of the pack or higher team. The offense should be good and if RIGHT-POWER can keep them in games this team could do some work.
LW Boutch_87
C Sudzy92_
RW Etthan
LD Scalz_Yanks_24
RD Shaynestaa
G RIGHT-POWER
Winnipeg Jets
Multiple season vet and GM Reaper__2313 looks to return to prominence after a rough season. He resigned Kidmon3y (no surprise there) Barnickle_Sam, and M1keal. Round 1 Vezzzy_i30i and round 2 grabbed Dougcbj. The rest of their picks rounded out with M-A-G-N-U-M_316, Way2goal, Al_bundy128, and Jaycee241979. Some interesting developments as reap is moving to LW and kid going to RW they are hoping those changes make a difference. The biggest addition to this team will be vezzzy. If he can dominate like he has most of his SP career the Jets could be a contender. I feel this team will be a middle to top seed depending on how the new moves pay off.
Starting Lines
LW Reaper__2313
C Barnickle_Sam
RW Kidmon3y
LD Dougcbj
RD M1keal
G Vezzzy_i30i
Dallas Stars
Castles720 takes over in Dallas and traded all his resigns for draft picks. His 1st was Mclub326 and then Sfic16. They needed to make alot of picks fill out the roster and took PNCPark2k1, Ushkilledya, Droxx22, kc2917, Nba2k16islife201, Troublekid1999, TYLERisGOD69, Droxx22, kc2917,KRONWALL1924, and ChiefBigBear13. I dont particularly see this team being great but should fight for a playoff spot. If they could get a full time Center it would go a long way into making this roster better in my opinion. Also the defense looks a tad on weaker side. I honestly have no clue howbthese lines will play out but i just feel this team may struggle as constructed.
Starting Lineups
LW Mclub326
C TYLERisGOD69
RW Sfic16
LD kc2917
RD Ushkilledya
G Troublekid1999
Edmonton Oilers
Darling of the league SgtVandoos returns and hopes. to have more success than he sustained last season. DevilsPride4, Raja_Sandhu, Loyalty_Caper, and M_u_r_p_h_y_87 were all retained by vandoos. In a surprising turn of events they take MartyCeez23. They followed that up with Arrowhunter14, Jennjamty, Hockeyman22996, Dustywall33, and WickedSnapshot. Vandoos seems to have a much stronger roster on paper than in the past season but that shall be determined. I still expect this team to be battling for the final playoff spot or lower.
Starting Lineup
LW MartyCeez23
C Arrowhunter14
RW Jennjamty
LD M_u_r_p_h_y_87
RD Raja_Sandhu
G SgtVandoos
Arizona Coyotes
CantTreadOnMe_ takes over the yotes in his first season as GM. Tread resigned HartySauce67, xOneTimer, and goalieman92. With 1st round choice Coyotes select Mjvoell44 and in round 2 they snagged Tapthatpass_. SmashNgrab2, sINGLE-g6_, Grippinq, and KllerJ round out the Arizona roster. Technically the team has no LD on the roster but I think its safe to assume that smashNgrab21 and xOneTimer will fill the role. This squad should be able to play with most teams and should find themselves towards the top of the conference especially if they can effectively find a way to get Mjvoell44 and HartySauce67 on the ice. It will be interesting to see how the minutes on defense get distributed and will go a long way in their final positioning.
Starting Lines
LW Mjvoell44
C CantTreadOnMe_
RW HartySauce67
LD smashNgrab21
RDTapthatpass_
G goalieman92
Calgary Flames
Uberpwned_6969 takes a try at GM after being a player for a long time. He started his team by resigning Pooler2012, jamie14benn14, agesquod, and Zredbeard. In the draft he wasted no time getting Tyler91seguin91. After seguin, uber got Servnspike, Pemm, Rivnasty, and H-_A-_L-_A-_K. I feel uber drafted a competitive team and should be in thick of things come playoff time. Their defense is better than alot of teams and they will score their fair share of goals. This team could really surprise some people. They finish mid pack 3 to 4.
Starting Lineups
LW Tyler91seguin91
C servnpike
RW jamie14benn14
LD Uberpwned_6969
RD Pooler2012
G Pemm

The draft is over and a new season is upon us. A ton of change has happened this season with a large number of new GMs and faces in the league. With all these new bosses this could be a very interesting time in the Eastern Conference.
New Jersey Devils
Dirty-Dietrich is one of the many new faces to take the reigns as a GM in his 1st SPNHL draft. He resigned DodgesBlueShells and monokuuu. Dirty also made a trade for Ajax32123. In round 1 he selected hypey- and followed that up by getting DeathClown27. Rest of the team consists of Brodtshadow13, docj1ggy, FidellCastro84, turdburgler169, X_beaster_X, and Itz_Synyster22. This team could be sneaky good if things go well. Goalie may be the biggest question mark and if they have enough forward help outside of the top 3. This will be a bottom half playoff team but could strive for more.
LW DeathClown27
C hypey-
RW X_beaster_X
LD DodgesBlueShells
RD Ajax32123
G Brodtshadow13
Toronto Maple Leafs
Longtime GM and player Jayscott555 returns and hopes to build on his playoff runs of the last few seasons. The Leafs brought back via resigns LeCupidon, CaponeUptop66, Nemmiss74, and xXDuFrEsNe27xX. Jay went all in and traded up to the #1 overall pick and took I9I-Stamkos-I1IC. To fill the rest of the team they picked sportsgeek5, Nickehlersrocks, PghFANATIC, Le-Mollz, Frankjones28, and Wukie89. Toronto has a solid group of forwards but really seem to be lacking defense and goaltending. They will need to score to keep pace with other teams and should finish middle of the road unless changes are made.
Starting Lineup
LW xXDuFrEsNe27xX
C CaponeUptop66
RW Jayscott555
LD Nemmiss74
RD Le-Mollz
G sportsgeek5
Ottawa Senators
Another returning vet GM kozmo483264 brings a strong roster this season. He managed to retain Go_marc, Ransom613, and Notorious250 all the while trading for u_1_2_B_me_. With their 1st selection they took toslick at 9. Also drafted by kozmo were Nocturnal_Turtle, ae_MuSe, ozip8826, xXDJFREEZEXx, and cgiroux11. This roster looks very strong and should be a team to look out for most of the season. Balanced scoring up front and decent defense the only hole right now is in net but its by no means a glaring weakness. I expect Ottawa to be top 1 or 2 in the East.
Starting Lineup
LW Go_marc
C Ransom613
RW toslick
LD u_1_2_B_me_
RD Notorious250
G kozmo483264
Pittsburgh Penguins
Cookie_man_412 returns as head man in the burgh and i feel has his best roster yet. He had a strong start by resigning Linde94, Rent-A-GoaIie, and ACK-stonerboy. Then he bolstered his roster by trading for Diirty_Triix_13 and NowYoDead. In the draft he selected Mathqc22, bubba_cheeks, YouCantSeeMe-005, and finished off with Quinzee. Pittsburgh has a strong group on offense but looks like someone may have to step up and play LD. Goalie shouldnt be an issue i expect these boys to be a top half contender if they figure out the defense they could be very good.
Starting Lineups
LW Linde94
C Diirty_Triix_13
RW ACK-stonerboy
LD bubba_cheeks
RD NowYoDead
G Rent-A-GoaIie
Philadelphia Flyers
PEACEKEEPER500 is essentially a rookie GM but he took over late last season. After trading for Bergysdeke and X73x_McAvoy_x73X. Then he went toresigning SMOKESHOWJOE, and Red_Pepsi98. 1st round they took x_Jedi_x420 and followed that pick up with Suppa_Freak08, Mg2452, chicks-n-whips, Bruiser4life2, Steel243, and ImCanedianEhh. I project this team will battle for a playoff spot most likely making it in. They have some solid forwards who are responsible in their own end. They can help support a decent but not great defense.
Starting Lineups
LW x_Jedi_x420
C SMOKESHOWJOE
RW Mg2452
LD Bergysdeke
RD X73x_McAvoy_x73X
G PEACEKEEPER500
Detroit Redwings
Shepard-88- is back for another season as man in detroit. Shep brought back on resigns a_rehmtulla, HABS_11_31_6, Phillysmvp, Purplcrayonfucer, tsibs and Teamrun420. Through the draft they added Benner77 followed by Chieftrout, Fivestarcoock, Bizness101 and FiVEpointOHHH. Average offense and defense and good goaltending should leave this team in mid to lower placement in the standings depending on how the offense meshes and how well the goalies can hold up.
Starting Lineups
LW shepard-88-
C Benner77
RW Chieftrout
LD Phillysmvp
RD Fivestarcoock
G tsibs
Tampa Bay Lightning
Tampa finds themselves led by TrueLegend07 again and look to find more success. He brings back via resign redflag33 and LouieDeuce8. With their 1st lick they selected Yeap_93. They then proceeded to select rancher12345, K1NG__21, GodS3_3Plan1, Rollingupdaily, Soiceyboyz4, Bufford80, and BennBrothers. This teams offense is very good especially the top line but as with most teams defense seems to be a bit of an issue. Rancher may have to play very solid but he is capable. I can see this team have a solid year and be around 3 to 5 range in eastern standings.
LW TrueLegend07
C redflag33
RW Yeap_93
LD LouieDeuce8
RD K1NG__21
G rancher12345
New York Rangers
iHyPeR_97 is back wiyh a very solid team on his hands. He made a ton of trades to aquire draft picks and made the best of them. He started off with GrammyHands, then eXecuti0n80, Stammerchel, RickRage, chadkillz134, ThomaLong, mike813499, I13I-Barzal-I13I, and Dafoumanchew. This team is very strong throughout and should be a top 2 in east very easily. They can score and defend and look very good.
Starting Lines
LW GrammyHands
C iHyPeR_97
RW ThomaLong
LD Stammerchel
RD mike813499
G chadkillz134

Tonight is the night,  Join us at 8pm Est Live on the Draft board.
https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1BPGqrJNMrhI1QwDnS1f2ajRWz-zR0aRPAX-xPMBDvUQ/edit#gid=0
you can also watch the GMs make their selections in real time by joining the chat box on our forum. (forum account required)
http://spnhl.canadian-forum.com/
Finally you will be able to listen live with our Media Teams coverage that goes live at 7:30pm
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A51KBACNnBc&feature=youtu.be

SPNHL Season 29 Preview:
Top 5 Free Agents Per Position
By: Dirty-Dietrich & Kozmo.
As we approach Season 29 of the SPNHL, we have a brand-new draft pool. There are some returning vets, some strong players being let into free agency, and some promising rookies. Along with a fresh batch of players, we also have a fresh batch of GM’s who will be entering their first draft. Will these GM’s draft strong and develop good teams, or will the veterans drain the pool of all the hidden talent?
With that in mind, my dear friend Kozmo and I have compiled the following list. We have sorted through the names and we have selected what we feel are the top 5 free agents at each position. This is based on what players registered for their primary position, so it may not be reflective of their performance at other positions. There are still some great utility forwards, so do some research! Gosh! Did you expect us to do all the work for you?
We’ll start off this list with the top 5 free agent centers in the SPNHL, move through the wingers, defensemen (and women, I think?), and then goaltenders. For skaters, the sorting will be based on a combination of game, goals, assists, points, and plus minus. For defence, it will be based on games played, plus minus, hits, giveaways, and takeaways. For goalies, it will be based on games played, wins, save percentage, goals against average, and shutouts. Let’s get started!

 
A top center will be a heavily sought-after commodity in this draft. The most obvious choice here is Stamkos, who played on a very strong team in Colorado and produced very good numbers. Hypey had a great season and is a great pick for that value, while Benner had a stellar season for a mediocre team. Arrow enjoyed a decent season playing with two stellar wingers, and Servnspike had a similar situation with similar numbers.

 
Mclub and Shot are returning players this season, so we used career stats for the table. Both are great wingers who teams should be interested in. Kinglyme was a shocker to see in the draft after a 50 goal season, so expect him to go early. Toslick was a monster in the regular season and the playoffs, and Snapshot had a respectable season, so expect these players to be taken in the top 2 rounds.

 
Mjvoel44 won the Art Ross, Selke, and Hart trophies last season. He seems to be a lock for first overall. Grammyhands was the highest scoring rookie last season and seems to be destined for a first round pick. Smashngrab returns to SP with decent career totals thus far, while Caper and Clown are both looking to go to decent teams after having decent campaigns yet missing the playoffs due to the rest of their team.

 
Execution is a solid pick for a starting D man, proven by his solid numbers in Vegas. BigBear and Haunted both had decent numbers on mediocre teams, while Ush enjoyed a short but successful season over in Dallas. Raja hasn’t played SP in a couple seasons (so we couldn’t find giveaways and takeaways), but put up solid defensive numbers in his 30 career games at the blue line.

 
Chicks-n-whips is a very versatile player, and after playing on an inconsistent Nashville squad last season, is looking to have a bounce back season. M1Keal’s stats are from season 27, where he performed very well on a solid Ducks squad. Canedian had a solid season over in Chicago, while kc and Murphy are both looking to step up and establish themselves as reliable defenders this season.

 
One of the winningest goalies in SP history returns this season, but Vezzy’s stats against the rest of this goalie class seem average. Rancher is coming off of a Stanley Cup victory, and Kamakaz proved last season that even in a limited time, he is still an elite netminder. Chad is still one of the premier goaltenders in the league, and Shadow emerged from backup to starting goalie last season, so expect big things from him.
Well, there you have it. A bit of an in-depth look at this season’s draft board. There are some positions that have a great selection of players, and other which are harder to come by. GM’s will have to draft smart and know their priorities in order to succeed in this upcoming season. They will need to have backup plans and be ready to change those plans at the snap of a finger, or in the case, the clicking of fingers against a keyboard.
Good luck to all the GM’s in the upcoming draft!
-DD and Koz.