SPNHL, Season 31: Top Free Agents
 
Long time no see, my friends. School got a little hectic last semester which prevented us from providing more coverage, but we’re back and ready for Season 31 of the SPNHL. Eggman and Sedin completed the three-peat and established themselves as the greatest dynasty in the history of the SPNHL. However, their success lead to the introduction of an interesting rule: only one resign for GMs.
 
This rule provided somewhat of a reset for the league, breaking apart teams that have dominated for multiple seasons and dismantled teams which GMs took seasons to build (perfect time to introduce the rule Plisk, didn’t screw me over at all). Yet, this rule provided a draft pool that is the deepest and most talented I’ve seen in my 5 seasons in this league. With only 12 teams this season, we’ll see a strong first couple of rounds.
 
With a little help from my friend Chadkillz ,we compiled a list of the top 5 free agents at their positions. We divided it into the three categories: forwards, defenders, and goaltenders, and did a statistical comparison based on their last season (or their career stats for those who took a few seasons off). We also didn’t rank them because we’re too lazy, so be your own judge!
Forwards
 

 
Chad: Bstieboydp is coming off a stellar season with the Avalanche where he put up 117 points and won the cup. He won’t be on the draft board for very long. LeCupidon finished 4th in points last season. He put up 113 points finishing right behind Bsieboydp. Rich scored 66 goals last season and almost won the Rocket Trophy. Whichever team picks rich is getting a proven goal scorer. Diirty_Triix had a great bounce-back season. He put up very good numbers while playing with LeCupidon and Rich on a very skilled Flyers Team. Toslick had a rough first half to last season with the hurricanes but really turned it on after being traded to Winnipeg.
 

Defenders
 

 
Dirty: A mix of staples and returning veterans fills our top 5 defenders list, with U1, CapCan, and Noto playing last season while Wally and Execution return after 3 and 4 seasons respectively. U1 had a decent tenure in Arizona, showing his talent as a top two-way defender. CapCan continues to be a reliable stay-at-home defender, as she played all but 5 games last season for Vegas. eXecution returns to the league and if his last season is any proof, he’ll be an absolute steal for $3.5M, so don’t expect him to be on the board for long. DrWally, eX’s D partner on the Lightning of the VGHL, is also returning after a strong season. He has arguably the best defensive numbers on this list, but his availability may be a detriment to his value. “The Legend Killer” Notorious had a rough season, but is a consistently reliable defender who is more than worth his value at $3.5M. Expect him to be the last man back for an offensive minded team.
Goaltenders
 

 
Dirty: The 5 goalies on this list represent the cream of the crop of their position, and have been so for quite some time. Chad is a bit of a biased bitch, but the numbers don’t lie and his performance last season behind a dismal Carolina squad nearly put them into the playoffs. Ciulla played the same role in Winnipeg, and stole them quite a few games. That record is deceiving, as most of those losses came at the beginning of the season while the Jets were still starting their engines. Giroux had another solid season after his Vezina worthy performance in season 29, being a brick wall in net for the islanders behind B-wall. Get it? Great. Giroux is a stud, but fell short in last season’s Vezina voting to Rancher, who played like a madman and won his second cup in three season with Colorado. Playing behind a dynasty like that may be easy, but numbers like his are hard to get. Fivestar backstopped the Leafs all the way to the Stanley Cup finals, and very good numbers while doing so. He proved his skill and reliability in net, so expect him to be picked up early on in the draft.
 
Well, that was fun. Although I was initially opposed to this new “one resign” rule, I do appreciate the bevy of talent it has reintroduced to the draft. It looks like one of the deepest in years, so maybe Vandoos won’t take a rookie in the first round. Nonetheless, we should see some big surprises and some predictable reunions in tonight’s draft as we see the informal beginning of season 31 of the Sony Playstation Hockey League.
 
I’d like to thank chadkillz134 for helping out with this article (and actually suggesting the idea of it) and encourage everybody to join Kozmo, myself, and a multitude of guests tonight as we react to picks, get interviews, and listen to Kozmo drunkenly rant while my GF plays Horizon Zero Dawn in the background. We’ll be live on www.twitch.tv/thespnhl_media at 7:30 EST, so come say hello!
 
See ya soon, everybody!
–DD & Chad

Have a safe Christmas and new years.  This is the current timeline for season 31.
 
Registration Closure Dec 28th midnight.
Showcase batch #2 Dec 27th, 29th & 30th.
Resign due date Dec 30th 8 pm
Draft date jan 1st, 8pm EST
Season start Jan 7th.

SPNHL, Season 30: Week Two Review
By: Dirty-Dietrich
“The unstoppable Avalanche”
If you get caught in an Avalanche, you’re usually dead meat. That’s how its been so far this season, with the reigning Stanley Cup Champions going undefeated after two weeks. Eggman, Sedin, Woy and co. are on pace to best their record from 2 seasons ago where they accumulated over 90% of available points, the same season they began their championship streak. Will they beat Sedin’s Sabres record from season 23 of 41-2-2?
Although the league leading team has remained unchanged, we saw some new arrivals into the top 5. Kozmo’s Quack Pack in Anaheim has experienced a resurgence being lead by Shadow, the Alien, and Francey while Tread’s Coyotes have had a bounce back week with himself and MJ rediscovering that chemistry and scoring touch that lead MJ to an Art Ross and Hart trophy two seasons ago. The playoff race in the West is beginning to form…
At the same time, some of those teams from the top 5 last week have experienced falls from grace, with Turd’s Penguins having a 1-7-1 week. Sometimes, teams come flying out of the gates and win two championships in a row and go for a third. Sometimes, you have a strong week and shit the bed the week after. Let’s look at our top 5 and bottom 5, as we progress towards the midway point of the thirtieth season of the SPNHL.
WINNERS
1. Colorado Avalanche
Record: 18-0-0
Leading Scorer: Bstieboy (32G, 21A, 53P)
MVP: Sedin
Arrivals/Departures: N/A
Bstie and Woy have continued to be absolute animals, carrying the bulk of offensive responsibility for the Avs with both players still averaging more than 3.5 points per game. Rancher has been excellent in net, but Eggman’s partner Sedin has been playing like a man possessed for Colorado. 17 GP, 36 points, 75 hits, and a plus 46 after two weeks puts Seding on pace for a Norris season.
2. New York Islanders
Record: 14-4-0
Leading Scorer: MG (15G, 22A, 37P)
MVP: MG
Arrivals/Departures: jamiebenn (arrival), Gui (departure).
The Islanders had a strong week, going 7-2-0 again and made an interesting move picking up jamiebenn from Vegas in exchange for Gui. Benn is a very versatile player who could play a big role in an offensive core with Burst, B-wall, and MG. MG has stepped his game up and played exceptionally well for the Islanders, leading them in points and leading all forwards in plus-minus going +22. With a talented and versatile squad, expect continuity from New York.
3. Tampa Bay Lightning
Record: 13-4-1
Leading Scorer: redflag (21G, 31A, 52P)
MVP: redflag
Arrivals/Departures: kwhiss
Tampa slipped up with one OT loss this week, otherwise having a strong week going 6-2-1. Vince has been incredibly consistent in net delivering great performances, and the most dynamic duo in SP in TrueLegend and redflag has been lighting it up, both scoring over 20 goals early into the season. Redflag has
been the better performer thus far, being only one point behind for the league lead. The Bolts are on pace to once again be one of the best teams in the East.
4. Arizona Coyotes
Record: 10-5-3
Leading Scorer: Tread (15G, 22A, 37P)
MVP: Tread
Arrivals/Departures: NocTurtle (arrival), Mic (arrival), Fivestar (departure), Mccallum (departure)
The top team in the western conference last season, Arizona started things off with a mediocre week but flipped the switch over the past 9 games. MJ, Studword, Soul2cold, and Tread have formed a reliable offensive core, with Tread leading the way by putting up 37 points in 14 games. With u1 and Tommy holding down the fort at D and Gman and Turtle taking care of business in net, expect to see the Coyotes in the top 5 for a majority of the season.
5. Anaheim Ducks
Record: 11-7-0
Leading Scorer: Francey (16G, 32A, 48P)
MVP: Francey
Arrivals/Departures: Rambo (arrival), Bigbear (departure)
Kozmo’s Krew (we love alliterations) started off slow, but the trade for Francey was a turning point for Anaheim. Shadow and Alien found chemistry instantly with Francey, while Kozmo and Noto have formed a formidable d-pairing in front of Soicey, who is having a stellar season. Francey’s 3 points per game ratio and playmaking abilities are just a couple things that are helping Anaheim shock people in the west, and we’re eager to see how high these Ducks can fly.
LOSERS
1. Chicago Blackhwaks
Record: 3-14-1
Leading Scorer: Linde (6G, 7A, 13P)
MVP: Linde
Arrivals/Departures: Nick108 (arrival), Nutty (arrival) Bigbear (arrival), Kinglyme (departure), Atreyal (departure), Cam (departure)
Amidst a week of controversy, Chicago saw more struggles and the departures of some of their best players. They got some decent talent in return in Nick and Nutty, but the loss of Kinglyme and Atreyal will be hard to recuperate from. Scalz and co. have a lot of work to do if they want to find themselves in a playoff position, and that includes getting arguably their best player, Linde, into more games. Joe and Scoop can’t do all the offensive work themselves!
2. Winnipeg Jets
Record: 4-12-2
Leading Scorer: Reaper (21G, 14A, 35P)
MVP: Ciulla
Arrivals/Departures: NYD (arrival), Bizness (departure)
With only 10 points in 18 games, Winnipeg is cold as ice right now. Having the second lowest goal total in the league next to Vegas and Carolina (I didn’t realize how little we were scoring, jesus), Winnipeg needs some sort of offensive burst. Reaper has just under half his team’s goals, but Ciulla has been playing his heart out on a team without much defense. Hopefully the arrival of NYD will solidify that defensive core and the Jets can restart their engines. (PUNS)
3. Columbus Blue Jackets
Record: 6-12-0
Leading Scorer: Al_bundy (14G, 10A, 24P)
MVP: Al_bundy
Arrivals/Departures: kinglyme (arrival), Nick (departure)
Over 6 nights, Columbus has averaged 1 win and 2 losses per night. Speaking to PistolPete, this is actually what happened. Pemm’s Blue Jackets have some good offensive talent in Rickrage, Ethan, Ivan, and their MVP Al_Bundy (who should mesh well with Kinglyme), a solid defensive pairing in Cuban and Pete, but Pemm and PNC need to step it up in the crease (both goalies are under a 0.730 save percentage) if the Blue Jackets want a chance at making playoffs.
4. Pittsburgh Penguins
Record: 6-11-1
Leading Scorer: Larkin (12G, 13A, 25P)
MVP: Larkin
Arrivals/Departures: Speedyturtle (departure)
Losing their star goaltender in Speedyturtle doesn’t hurt this team on paper, as the Penguins have two solid goaltenders in Turd and Cowboy, but it may have been a momentum killer for Pittsburgh. Larkin has been playing well with Serg up front, but the lack of defensive depth past Deadant is killing this team. Plisk has been playing everywhere for them, but Pittsburgh needs to acquire another natural defender if they want to return to their first week form.
5. Vegas Golden Knights
Record: 6-9-3
Leading Scorer: Nylander (9G, 15A, 24P)
MVP: Nylander
Arrivals/Departures: Gui (arrival) Castles (arrival), jamiebenn (departure)
Vegas had a good bounce back week going 4-4-1 and Nylander helped a lot with that. A talented and evasive playmaker, he helped put Vegas’s offense back on the right track. Trading Jamie for Gui was huge, as they now have one of the better top lines in the league in Yeap, Gui, and Nylander. If these three can get on the right page offensively, and CapCan and Yesse could hold it down in front of Sliyum, the Knights have all the tools needed for a playoff team.
A bit of a change in the land this week in the SPNHL with lots of big trades and teams moving up and down drastically in the standings. As we rapidly approach the halfway point of this season, there are still questions left to be answered: who will emerge as the top team in the East? Will anybody be able to beat Colorado? Will Anaheim continue their Cinderella story and get in a better position to get Kozmo his long sought-after cup?
Remember: SPNHL Off the Ice airs Saturdays at 10 pm EST on www.twitch.tv/thespnhl_media! See you there!
See you soon,
* DD

SPNHL, Season 30: Week One Review
By: Dirty-Dietrich
“Domination.”
One week into the new season, and there is one remaining undefeated team: the Colorado Avalanche. Woy, Eggman, and Sedin added on to their already strong core and created a team that looks incredibly difficult to beat. With two straight championship seasons, the Avs seem like they’re on pace for a third straight Cup. The sky’s the limit for the Mile High City, and they’re not stopping until another juggernaut emerges in the league.
On that topic, there are a few teams who look great so far and could possibly give the Avs a run for their money. The Eastern conference has been stacked for the past two seasons, with Tampa Bay being one of the top teams season after season. TrueLegend and Redflag construct a top tier team time and time again, but are challenged in the East by the New York Islanders squad led by Shepard and MG that boasts a perennial SPNHL All-Star lineup.
Let’s take a look at 5 winners and 5 losers from last week. The trade block is ALIVE early on in the season, so we’ll be looking at how some of those transactions have impacted these top teams. We’ll also be looking at their records, leading scorers, and MVP of the week. Let’s go!
WINNERS
1. Colorado Avalanche
Record: 9-0-0
Leading Scorer: Bstieboy (20G, 7A, 27P)
MVP: Bstieboy
Arrivals/Departures: Macinnis (arrival), Francey (departure)
The Avalanche continue to get stronger. Four of their forwards had more than 3.7 points per game (Bstie, Woy, Will, and Chuck), their defensive pair in Sedin and Egg had 14 points each (3G and 11A each), and Rancher was a stud in net with 4 shutouts, not a surprise to anyone. With an incredibly well balanced attack at all ends of the ice, the Avalanche will be hard to stop.
2. Tampa Bay Lightning
Record: 7-2-0
Leading Scorer: redflag (7G, 20A, 27 P) and TrueLegend (18G, 9A, 27P)
MVP: VinceT
Arrivals/Departures: ChiTown (Arrival), Vibez (Departure)
TrueLegend and redflag picked up right where they left off last season, putting up 27 points each in their first 9 games. Krixx and the Playmaker have been a fantastic defensive core, but their rock has been Vince. An absolute stud of a goaltender who also had 4 shutouts but added on to that with an insane 0.91 save percentage. If he keeps playing like that, Tampa Bay is going to the cup.
3. New York Islanders
Record: 7-2-0
Leading Scorer: B-Wall (5G, 16A, 21P)
MVP: Trout
Arrivals/Departures: REHM (Arrival), Rath (departure)
With all the talent on this squad, it’s not hard to believe that they’re second in the East right now. MG, Bwall, and Burst have been a great top line in absence of Gui, but one man who has been getting it done at each end of the ice has been my boy Trout. 3 high scoring performances as a forward and 5 solid defensive games at D, Trout has been a shining versatile star on a strong New York team.
4. Edmonton Oilers
Record: 6-3-0
Leading Scorer: Julien (22G, 5A, 27 P)
MVP: Julien
Arrivals/Departures: PGH (arrival), Seguin (Departure)
Well, I was very wrong about this team. The Oilers have a winning record for the first time in multiple seasons due to the French Kids on the Bloc. Frenchy, Lacigal, and Julien have been studs at the core of this team, with Julien pacing the league with his 22 goals. If Edmonton keeps this pace up, they could surprise a lot of people with a deep playoff run.
5. Pittsburgh Penguins
Record: 5-4-0
Leading Scorer: Larkin (7G, 10A, 17P)
MVP: Speedy
Arrivals/Departures: N/A.
Speaking of teams exceeding expectations, the Penguins have done that in spades. Larkin, Serg, and Duckweed have been quite productive as the main forwards for the team, while nearly their whole team has taken turns holding the anchor at D. However, in the land of goalies, Speedyturtle has stood above the rest. 3-1 with a 0.874 save percentage has made him emerge as the starting goalie for this squad.
LOSERS
1. Chicago Blackhawks
Record: 1-8
Leading Scorer: Linde (4G, 3A, 7P)
MVP: Linde
Arrivals/Departures: Soulx (arrival), Neon (departure)
A rough start from a team expected to be successful, Scalz and the Blackhawks need to regroup this week. A lack of availability on defense and goaltending resulted in some issues this week, but the signing of Soulx should be a nice addition to an offense lead by Linde. Pair Linde with Scoop and soulx, and Chicago may have the weapons they need to turn the ship around.
2. Winnipeg Jets
Record: 2-6-1
Leading Scorer: Reaper (8G, 6A)
MVP: Ciulla
Arrivals/Departures: Single (arrival), Arrow (arrival), Nylander (departure), Pooky (departure)
With only a 5 point week, the Jets aren’t flying as high as they want to be. Reap hasn’t been as successful as he usually is (partially due to the lack of his linemate Kidmoney), and the rest of their offense has also been underwhelming. Their one shining light in the darkness has been Ciulla, going 2-4 with a 0.840 save percentage. If Winnipeg can jumpstart their offense, they can rectify their record.
3. Vegas Golden Knights
Record: 2-5-2
Leading Scorer: jamiebenn (5G, 8A, 13P)
MVP: jamiebenn
Arrivals/Departures: Nylander (arrival), Caper (arrival), Single (departure), arrow (departure)
Vegas didn’t have a strong team from the start, but getting 6 points with a tough schedule was a good start for an underwhelming team. Jamiebenn carried the torch for the Knights this week, but the arrival of Nylander should help bolster this team’s offense. If they get Yeap to play, he and Nylander could light things up and solidify a starting lineup for the Golden Knights.
4. Columbus Blue Jackets
Record: 3-6-0
Leading Scorer: Al_bundy (11G, 6A, 17P)
MVP: Al_bundy
Arrivals/Departures: Jag (departure)
Pemm and the Blue Jackets went 1-2 in each of their first three nights of the season, and find themselves at the bottom of a strong Eastern Conference. Goaltending has been the issue thus far, giving up 43 goals over the course of 9 games. This goaltending will turn around and give Bundy and a strong offense some support, and Columbus will remain a competitive team this season.
5. Toronto Maple Leafs
Record: 3-5-1
Leading Scorer: NJ (8G, 7A, 15P)
MVP: NJ
Arrivals/Departures: N/A
Toronto had a strong team to start the season, but a controversial suspension doomed their week. Their offense has done very well thus far, but they have had the same issue that Columbus has faced: goaltending. Getting Fish back in the lineup this week will help motivate the Maple Leafs and get a strong team back into contention with a solid performance this week.
Week one shocked some of us and proved that I don’t really know what I’m doing with these rankings. However, actions speak louder than words and many players spoke volumes with their performances this week. I’m very excited to see how the second week of season 30 of the SPNHL goes, and challenge teams to either continue their dominance, or recover from their poor performance this week.
Remember to tune in to SPNHL: Off The Ice this coming Saturday at 10 PM EST!
See you on the ice!
Dirty-Dietrich

SPNHL, Season 30: Season Preview
By: Dirty-Dietrich
“Here’s your write-up, Fish Boy”
As the proverbial dust of the draft settles, the fourteen teams ready to vie for the Stanley Cup of the Sony Playstation Hockey League have formed. We have a Championship core looking for a third consecutive title, a couple powerhouses in the Eastern conference looking to build on the success of last season, and a couple new GMs looking to make a splash in a very competitive league.
Some GMs went with familiar faces in the draft, while others took some risks and went with rookie heavy teams. This has elicited success in the past but has also resulted in disaster in some cases. It’s a classic heads or tails scenario, and the sportsman in me hopes it works out for the best for them, while the competitor in me hopes it royally screws them over. Sorry, just being honest.
Let’s take a look at the projected lineups for the teams (thank you for sending these to me, GMs), and my projection of their finish in the standings. We’re going to break it down conference by conference, going from first seed to seventh (Reminder: the top 4 teams per conference make the playoffs). We did okay with the draft (4/14), so let’s see how we can do with our standings predictions.
WESTERN CONFERENCE
Team: Colorado Avalanche
Projected Lineup: Woy at LW, Stoner at C, Beastie at RW, Eggman at LD, Sedin at RD, and Rancher at G.
Projected Finish: 1st in the West.
Well this team looks awfully familiar, doesn’t it? Eggman and Sedin brought back their star players from the last two cup runs in Woy, Stoner, and Rancher, and brought back one of their old running mates in Beastie. With a starting 6 backed up by some familiar faces in Neeposh and Chuck and talented vets like Francey and Will, it’s hard to see this team falling anywhere short of the Cup final.
Team: Arizona Coyotes
Projected Lineup: MJ at LW, Tread at C, Studword at RW, u12bme at LD, tommy at RD, and goalieman at G.
Projected Finish: 2nd in the West.
Tread, Goalieman, and MJ return after finishing at the top of the West last season and being upset by Vegas in the playoffs. Recruiting fellow NXG member Tommyboi and pairing him with u12bme at defense will be deadly, and Stud should pair well with MJ and Tread in front of Goalieman for a stellar top 6. Their backups aren’t too bad either: fivestar is an established vet, while soul, snach, and leonard are promising rookies who nicely fill out a talented Arizona squad.
Team: Winnipeg Jets
Projected Lineup: Reap at LW, Muse at C, kidmoney at RW, Scrappy at LD, Dynasty at RD, and ciulla in G.
Projected Finish: 3rd in the West.
Finishing at a similar position last season, the Jets have a good squad with a great top forward line. Their defense with Dynasty and Scrappy should pair with Ciulla nicely for a solid back half of the ice. They’re a team with solid depth with Death and Pooky up front and Bizness on the back-end, while wicked will play his rookie season alongside a Winnipeg squad with considerable depth outside of G. This team could surprise some folks and overpower them with offense.
Team: Chicago Blackhawks
Projected Lineup: Linde at LW, Joe at C, Scoop at RW, Chicks at LD, Atreyal at RD, and DOUG BOY (dophares) at G.
Projected Finish: 4th in the West
After being a bubble team last season, Scalz and co. moved to the Windy City and stocked up on defense with Chicks, Atreyal, teamrun and himself. With four very capable forwards in Linde, Joe, Kinglyme, Scoop and backup forward in Neon, they are one of the most evenly dispersed teams skill-wise in the league. With Dophares and Cam handling goaltending duties, the Blackhawks have a great array of talent that will mould itself into a playoff team.
Team: Anaheim Ducks
Projected Lineup: Macinnis at LW, Alien at C, Harty at RW, CeeG at LD, Noto at RD, and Shadow at G.
Projected Finish: 5th in the West
After reaching back to back Cup finals in Ottawa, Kozmo moved West to Anaheim, bringing a decent team with him. Noto and CeeG make a solid d pairing in front of Shadow while Macinnis, Alien, and Harty make a very talented forward line. Outside of that top 6, they reunite the Arizona pairing of KllerJ and Onetimer, with Bigbear at D and Soicey joining the team as a likely backup G. A solid team, but availability issues will plague this team and their playoff hopes.
Team: Vegas Golden Knights
Projected Lineup: Jamiebenn at LW, Yesse at C, Yeap at RW, CapCan at LD, jielking at RD, and Sliyum at G
Projected Finish: 6th in the West.
Two seasons removed from their season 27 Championship victory, the Knights look like a completely different team. Although possessing a decent top 6, Vegas lacks the it-factor that a lot of teams possess. They have some of the best goaltending in the league with G6 backing up Sliyum, and their depth forwards in Arrow, Breno, and Spyking are decent, but few options at D will fatigue this team and lead to a low finish in the standings. The rebuild is now.
Team: Edmonton Oilers
Projected Lineup: Julien at LW, Frenchy at C, Nutty at RW, Bufford at LD, Blanche at RD, and Cookie at G.
Projected Finish: 7th in the West
We’re calling this team Vandoos’ French Excursion Students because half of his starting line are Qubec based rookies. Vandoos will play third string to Cookie and Seguin, while Bufford, Puckzone, Haunted, and Dustywall will likely be backup forwards to the promising rookies. Aside from the kids, the vets on this team are not known to be elite players. This will put a lot of pressure on the young guns, and may lead to another disappointing season in Edmonton.
Eastern Conference
Team: New York Islanders
Projected Lineup: Gui at LW, Burst at C, MG at RW (y u do dis), Bwall at LD, Trout (who downright refuses to play LD) at RD, and Giroux at G.
Projected Finish: 1st in the East.
Stud central over here. Moving from Detroit to New York, Shepard and MG have built the most dangerous team in the East. Not only is their top 6 a perennial SPNHL all-star squad, their depth is phenomenal. Shepard can play anywhere, Rath can play anywhere on the left side, and bosanceros and gamingfreak could be steals for an immensely talented Islanders squad. Expect big things from this team this year.
Team: Tampa Bay Lightning
Projected Lineup: Truelegend at LW, redflag at C, Mclub at RW, Krixx at LD, Dominado at RD, Vince at G.
Projected Finish: 2nd in the East.
Always a powerhouse in the East, Tampa brings back star goalie VinceT and brings aboard star forwards Mclub and Dominado (a great defensive C, so the jump to RD should be easy), and rookie Krixx at RD. Their four players outside of that include rookies Langz, PL4Y, and Foxy, while joined by the returning and ever versatile VIBEZ. With a stellar top 6 and a backup core of decent players, the Bolts should continue their run of being a top Eastern conference team.
Team: Philadelphia Flyers
Projected Lineup: Lecupidon at LW, Triix at C, Rich2K8 at RW, Beaster at LD, Uber at RD, and Peacekeeper at G.
Projected Finish: 3rd in the East
Vinny, if you guys miss the playoffs, sell the PS4. The Flyers come back from being a bottom team in the league last year to being a top 5 team in the league to start the season. With elite playmakers and snipers on the starting 6, their backup forwards are no slouches including Suppa, Synyster, and Havoc, as well as Zestygenos playing backup to Peace (he is good enough to take over the starting job). This team is good enough to screw up our rankings.
Team: Carolina Hurricanes
Projected Lineup: Grammyhands at LW, Dirty-D at C (that rhymes, cool), toslick at RW, M1nor at LD, xBoeser (Raja) at RD, and Chad at G.
Projected Finish: 4th in the East
It was between us and Toronto, and I showed a bit of bias for the very first time in my writing career. Carolina is coming off the heels of a Presdient’s Trophy run and a disappointing playoff performance, so they are looking to rebound here. With great defensive options in PGH, Betobone, and steavex, acid playing a solid backup to the top line forwards, and G0D handling goaltending and defensive duties, the Canes have a deep and potentially playoff bound team.
Team: Toronto Maple Leafs
Projected Lineup: Fish at LW, Jay at C, Jersey at RW, God at LD (not actually the big guy), NYD at RD, and BiPolor at G.
Projected Finish: 5th in the East
If we don’t make playoffs, these guys will. Toronto had one of the best top lines in the league last season, but did not have the depth at D and G to advance to the conference finals. They still have one of the best top lines in the league, and with a goaltending duo of BiPolor and Nocturnal, they have improved their goaltending. Their backup forwards of jfish, Smitty, Appler, and Mansel are decent options, but they lack the defensive depth to be a playoff team. Sorry!
Team: Columbus Blue Jackets
Projected Lineup: Ivan at LW, Nick at C, etthan at RW, Pete at LD, Cuban at RD, and PNC at G.
Projected Finish: 6th in the East.
I feel bad for putting these guys this low (because I love Cuban and Pete) and they aren’t a bad team, it’s just that the East is stacked yet again. This is a good top line and their depth isn’t that bad with Tyler, Rick, Al_bundy, and Jag as solid second line options, with Way2goal and Pemm backing things up defensively, but they have the same issue that Vegas faces: no it factor. They have the talent to prove me wrong, but it may be hard in this conference.
Team: Pittsburgh Penguins
Projected Lineup: Pliskin at LW, Serg at C, Larkin at RW, DatsAll at LD, Turd at RD, and Speedyturtle at G.
Projected Finish: 7th in the East.
See, another team that isn’t too bad, but Pittsburgh finds themselves at the bottom of our predictions. Turd moving up to D to make way for his FOUR goalies. The top line is a good mix of SP vets and young guns, but their backups are kind of underwhelming in Ballzdeep (why) and Duckweed as forwards, deadant at D (not too bad), and Cowboy at G (okay, not bad). In a competitive conference, the Penguins are unfortunately the odd men out.
On the surface, there appears to be some clear-cut favourites. However, we have seen many instances in the past where the supposed “cup winning team” just doesn’t have what it takes. That’s why this game is magical, because anything can happen. I’m talking about hockey here folks, not that magical BS that EA pulls on you when you’ve got a wide-open net on a one-timer.
With the season kicking off tonight, I wish everybody the best of luck and I look forward to seeing you folks on the ice. To the rookies: have fun and don’t get discouraged. You may face some hardships early on, but power through them. To the vets: be leaders. Help amalgamate the rookies into the league, because you never know when you might have the next Calder winner on your hands.
Cheers,
DD.

SPNHL Season 30: Pre-Draft Special
By: Dirty-Dietrich & Kozmo
“Season XXX?”
Season XXX sounds a bit dirty, but we’re getting ready for some dirty dangles in another season of the SPNHL. It’s the thirtieth season of teams vying for the Stanley Cup, as Colorado completed the repeat last season while disposing of a tough Senators squad for the second year in a row in a close 5 game series. Now that we have an established dynasty on our hands, could they complete the trifecta and get their third championship in as many seasons?
As we approach this coming season, things have gotten more intense as the league has dropped from 16 to 14 teams. Some new GMs are ready to take the reins of playoff hopeful teams, some rookies are looking to make their names known, and some all time greats of the SPNHL are looking to re-emerge and take back the spotlight. Let’s take a look at the teams competing, their resigns, and their likely first picks in preparation for season 30.
Colorado Avalanche
GM: Eggman (LD, $6.5 M)
Resigns: Sedinpower (LD, $5.5 M), Woytkiw (RW, $4.5M), and Stoner (C, $4.5M)
Projected first round pick: Rancher (G. $5.5 M) (6th overall)
Eggman retained the cornerstones of his Avalanche dynasty in Sedinpower and Woytkiw, while also keeping former first overall pick and deadline steal Stoner. With a solid starting 4, there is one glaring omission: goaltending. The Avalanche system is risky (watch Sedin poke it into his own net again) and requires decent goaltending. Rancher won a cup with this squad before and is affordable at $5.5 million, so don’t be surprised to see Rancher return back to Colorado.
Vegas Golden Knights
GM: SliyumShady (G, $9 M)
Resigns: CaptainCanada (LD, $3 M)
Projected first round pick: Uberpwned (LD, $7 M) (8th overall)
The last team to win the cup before the Colorado Avalanche was the Vegas Golden Knights, who surprised a lot of people with their deep playoff run last season. However, key pieces like Ajax and Prodigy are gone and the remains are GM Sliyum and CapCan. A decent start, but bolstering that back half of the ice could be deadly. Enter Uberpwned: a former GM who is very capable at all ends of the ice, a good partner for CapCan, and a good friend of Sliyum’s.
Anaheim Ducks
GM: Kozmo (LD, $3.5 M)
Resigns: Mxster (RD, $4.5 M), Noto (RD, $5 M), Ransom (LW, $7.5 M), and Willrolltide (RW, $1.5 M)
Projected first round pick: Beastieboy (C, $5.5M) (11th overall)
Returning to the final sfor the third time in four seasons, Kozmo has the recipe for success and is taking it to Anaheim. Keeping a solid defensive pairing of Mxster and Noto while giving himself some great forwards in Ransom and Willrolltide, Kozmo needs to find a top center to anchor that top line. With that, he’ll look to Beastieboy. A very versatile forward with a great scoring pedigree, Beastie will fit right in with the Ducks’ run and gun offensive style.
Chicago Blackhawks
GM: Scalz_Yanks (RD, $6 M)
Resigns: chicks/whips (LD, $4 M), kinglyme (RW, $4 M), Linde (LW, $3.5 M), Smokeshow (C, $5 M)
Projected first round pick: Giroux (G, $7.5 M) (5th overall)
After a mediocre first season as a GM in SP, Scalz has put together a formidable starting 5 to kick off this upcoming season. A line of Smokeshow, Linde, and kinglyme could be very exciting, especially playing in front of a solid shutdown pairing like Scalz and chicks. To top it all off, they have a top 5 pick in the first round which they will likely use on Giroux. Last year’s Vezina trophy winner could play the final piece in the Hawks’ puzzle of building a contending team.
Winnipeg Jets
GM: Reaper (LW, $7.5 M)
Resigns: Kidmoney, (C, $6 M), DeathClown (RW, $5 M), and Bizness (RD, $3M)
Projected first round pick: Dynasty (RD, $6 M) (9th overall)
The Jets didn’t fly quite as high as they hoped last season, losing to the eventual champions, the Avalanche, in the first round. Reaper and Kidmoney are joined on the wing by DeathClown in what should comprise a very high-scoring top line for Winnipeg. They need to pay attention to both ends of the ice, and getting Bizness a good d-partner should be the priority in the first round. With his availability, talent, and his price, it seems like Dynasty is heading to Winnipeg.
Toronto Maple Leafs
GM: Jayscott (C, $6.5 M)
Resigns: NJsveryown (RW, $4 M), NYD (RD, $3 M), Gods_plan (LD, $3.5M)
Projected first round pick: Fisshure (LW, $7 M) (1st overall)
Jayscott made the biggest trade of this SPNHL offseason, sending MVP candidate LeCupidon to Philadelphia for the first overall pick in a multi-pick package. With NJ returning to play on that top line with Jayscott, and NYD and Gods_plan handling defensive responsibilities, all signs are pointing to one name: Fishhure. A game-changing player, Fish is very familiar with NJ, and can create the sequel to arguably the best line from last season’s Toronto Trio.
New York Islanders
GM: Shepard (RW, $4.5M)
Resigns: MG (RW, $5 M)
Projected first round pick: Speedyturtle (G, $8 M)(7th overall) and Dominado (C, $5.5) (13th overall)
After a strong season in the ultra competitive Patrick Division, Shepard packed his bags and moved from Detroit to Long Island, bringing MG with him. They are starting with two right wingers who are capable of playing many different positions with great success. However, they need to address the issue of a centre and a goalie. Taking Speedyturtle to get that top goalie and taking Dominado to get a top centre seems like the best start for this Islanders team.
Pittsburgh Penguins
GM: Turdburgler (G, $5 M)
Resigns: Pliskin (G, $5.5 M), BALLZDEEP (RW, $3 M), Duckweed (LW, $2.5), and Serg (RW, $6M)
Projected first round pick: Gucci_Gui (LW, $7 M) (4th overall pick)
After a successful season in net on the Presidents Trophy winning Devils (gonna remind y’all of that as often as I can), Turd flew from the nest and took over as the GM of the Penguins. Turd’s first season in Pittsburgh looks reminiscent of a team from many moons ago, with Plisk, Ballzdeep, Duckweed, and Serg being very familiar with each other. To round out a solid starting 6, getting a top forward like Gucci_Gui could make a big impact in Pittsburgh.
Carolina Hurricanes
GM: Dirty-Dietrich (C, $5.5 M)
Resigns: Grammyhands (LW, $10 M), xBoeser16 (RW, $4.5 M), and ChadKillz (G, $6 M)
Projected first round pick: I TRADED IT FOR CHAD. WORTH IT.
After winning the President’s Trophy, the Devils were disposed of by the Senators in 6 games. Needing a change of scenery, Dirty-Dietrich and co. went from New Jersey to Carolina specifically for the Whalers jerseys. Keeping last season’s Art Ross and Rocket Richard winner Grammyhands and his linemate Raja/Boeser, the newly christened Hurricanes’ top line was still intact. Knowing he wanted Chad in the first round, DD trade his first pick for an elite backstop in Chad.
Philadelphia Flyers
GM: Peacekeeper (G, $3 M)
Resigns: Trix (C, $9 M), Synyster (RW, $2 M), Rich2K8 (RD, $7 M), and LeCupidon (LW, $7 M)
Projected first round pick: PistolPete (LD, $6.5 M) (10th overall)
After a disappointing season, Peacekeeper has one of the best teams out of the starting gate for season 30. Keeping Trix, resigning a former Rocket Richard winner in Rich, keeping solid rookie Synyster, and scoring big with a trade for LeCupidon, the Flyers look to rebound with a very impressive starting five. In search of a partner for Rich at D, Philly could turn to the returning PistolPete in order to create a very effective offensive pairing at their blueline.
Columbus Blue Jackets
GM: Pemm (G, $2.5 M)
Resigns: Al_bundy (LW, $3 M), PNC (G, $3.5 M), RickRage (C, $4 M), etthan (RW, $3.5 M), and Tyler (RW, $3 M)
Projected first round pick: Yeap (RW, $5.5 M) (3rd overall)
The second of two rookie GMs, Pemm took the remnants of a mid pack Dallas team and came out with a goaltending surplus in Columbus. PNC and Bundy can both play G, while they have some talented forwards in Etthan and Tyler, and a very versatile player in Rick. If Bundy plays D with Rick, PNC and Pemm split goaltending duties, Tyler and etthan could play with last season’s Calder Trophy winner Yeap and form a very talented Blue Jackets top line.
Edmonton Oilers
GM: Vandoos (G, $4.5 M)
Resigns: Cookie (G, $3.5 M), Dustywall (LD, $2.5 M), Nutty (LW, $2.5 M), Buff (RW, $3.5 M), Haunted (RW, $2 M), and puckzone (RW, $2.5 M)
Projected first round pick: Burst (C, $5) (2nd overall)
Vandoos had a disappointing season in Edmonton, but fortunately, the Oilers are starting with a core of talented and loyal players. Having a goaltending surplus like the Jackets, Vandoos could split duties with Cookie in net, Dustywall and Bufford could play D, Nutty could slot along left wing with Haunted and puckzone splitting RW duties. That leaves the C spot open, and who better to take than Burst, an elite C at only $5 million. Sounds like a steal to me.
Tampa Bay
GM: TrueLegend (LW, $9.5 M)
Resigns: redflag (C, $8.5 M) and Mclub (RW, $4 M)
Projected first round pick: VinceT (G, $8.5 M) (14th overall)
After making it to the conference finals last season, Tampa Bay wants to take it one step further and finally return to the Finals. Truelegend and redflag both had MVP caliber performances last season, and the addition of Mclub to that line more than makes up for the loss of Yeap. With two back to back picks, it was either a defenseman or a goaltender getting their first round pick. Being very familiar with him, the Bolts will more than likely reunite with elite tendy VinceT.
Arizona Coyotes
GM: Tread (C, $6.5 M)
Resigns: Goalieman (G, $6 M) and MJ (LW, $7 M)
Projected first round pick: ttommyboiii (RD, $5.5 M) (12th overall)
After winning the Jack Adams in his rookie season as a GM, Tread and the Coyotes return with high expectations. Goalieman and MJ return as two of the best at their respective positions with the hopes of rectifying the past mistakes in a first round exit. MJ and Tread’s friendship has developed into chemistry on the ice. Needing some defense, who would they go with but their fellow NXG member and stud defenseman ttommyboii? The gang might all be here.
Let’s look at our projected draft order. It may be a stretch and we may not get it right, but don’t expect us to be like Miss Cleo over here. Ease up.
1st overall, Toronto Maple Leafs: Fishhure (LW, $7 M)
2nd overall, Edmonton Oilers: Burst (C, $5 M)
3rd overall, Columbus Blue Jackets: Yeap (RW, $5.5 M)
4th overall, Pittsburgh Penguins: Gui_20 (LW, $7 M)
5th overall, Chicago Blackhawks: Giroux (G, $7.5 M)
6th overall, Colorado Avalanche: Rancher (G, $5.5 M)
7th overall, New York Islanders: Speedyturtle (G, $8 M)
8th overall, Vegas Golden Knights: Uberpwned (LD, $7 M)
9th overall, Winnipeg Jets: Dynasty (RD, $6 M)
10th overall, Philadelphia Flyers: PistolPete (LD, $6.5 M)
11th overall, Anaheim Ducks: Beastieboy (C, $5.5 M)
12th overall, Arizona Coyotes: ttommyboiii (RD, $5.5 M)
13th overall, New York Islanders: Dominado (C, $5.5 M)
14th overall, Tampa Bay Lightning: Vince T (G, $8.5 M)
Obviously we aren’t professional scouts, but we feel the first round could play out very similar to this. There may be some rookies that go early on in the draft, but this draft is so stacked that you can take your time drafting those rookies
and get an established, talented player very early on. Draft wisely, but don’t get stuck on one thought, because anything can happen in the SPNHL draft. Join us tomorrow night at 7:45 on www.twitch.tv/thespnhl_media to keep up to date with the draft, here our opinions on the picks, interviews with players, GMs, and so much more! Good luck to all the other GMs drafting, good luck to the players getting drafted, and good luck to anybody trying to load into a game on NHL 19! Let’s get ready to get this season started!
* DD & Kozmo

– Registration closes OCT 8th 11pm est
– Rookie showcase Oct 10th, 11th, 12th 9-10:30pm
– Team Re-signs due OCT 13th 8pm est
– Season 30 draft OCT 16th 8pm est
– Season 30 begins Oct 22nd 9pm est.

Hello all, We regret to inform you that we will be postponing all Season 30 plans until EA puts a way for teams to match up. They were unable to get this feature in during the disc launch but have claimed it will be released with the first major patch in oct. so….. provided this is a true statement we will have to be a bit more patient before we can get Season 30 up and running. With that said, all Current plans and timelines are no longer applicable and will be adjusted to a later date once this patch is released. Please check for a new post once this has been added back into the game for more info. I am sure some of you will have a question or two and i will attempt to read your minds and answer them ahead of time.
– yes registration will stay open until a few days after the patch fix
– yes the showcase is currently on hold until after reg closes.
– No i will not have a Team cap number until after reg closes.
– No we do not know how many GMs/Teams we need until closer to reg closure.
– this is the registration list https://thespnhl.com/registered-list/ it is time stamped. if you do not see yourself on this list and you feel you registered before the last update time stamp then reg again. if you signed up to GM before this last time stamp and do not see your name on the list along the side in blue under “GM waiting list” you have failed the GM test and are required to try again.
See you all in OCT.